Originally Posted by he told on me
Broke, grandma give me cash to do things with, car may get repo, lonely as hell, them people have made me loose my mind, will never get a female, 24 and wonder when will Jesus relieve the burden. I have super love for people, I realize that super nice guy dude routine will get taken advantaged of. I seriously have given up in life, I just put up a front for my grandmas so I won't hurt them severe. Friends I have are really incomprehensible weed addicted guys who really exhibit some form of ackward thought, I can not really have a really thought provoking convo with them. I'm not looking for Einstein convos but let's stop with the convo about the oz you don't sell, fancy drug methods that are laughable to one who use logic to shift through the bull. I'm no better than them, I once possessed that mind frame and still show signs of it. I'm just suggesting expansion of thought. I've been fapping to sexy women redneck mature porn. Depression can mess your mind up. I've reduced fapping tremendously,I've just accepted the harsh reality of not sexing anymore. Also I have remorse upon finishing. My argument about masterbation is, God speaks against self gratification (to the extinct it replaces his moral values) and laciviousness in the bible. we develop excuses for our poor willpower to exercise self discipline by citing reasons that its essential for health reasons. We watch porn and fap with every ill intent. Let's just stop with silly discourse about God and masterbation. Really want to be a hardcore Christian. I believe God is real, its just to hard to explain for those who don't want to understand. Well, I actually lack the descriptive means. I have not a single shred of self confidence. Believe people have a subconscious hatred towards me based on the words of others, talk to me then conclude. Sometimes get overwhelmed in negative thought that I have moments of dementia. I think everyone is out to get me. They know who they are though, and you know you wrong for the bull you doing/did. I want a good job but im blacklisted. Only one who realizes that there are very few real people. Feels like I'm the dumbest dude ever. Phone never rings. I'm lame as hell, the more I try to repair it, the lamer i get. I need to leave and go away but i have no money. Afraid niketalk may get to mainstream for people like me. Where nothing but celebrities will take it over one day. If I'm alone I can think well, in front of others my brain freezes. When I pee I use no hands. I know its crazy, but when i see someone, I always wonder when was the last time they had sex. When alone,I rap like from I'm from new York but use down south lyrics when I'm by myself, one negates the other. Just humour to me. I cry all the time, I know I'm a %+***. When my family is sleep, I position items in their room so they cant find it. When they wake up and ask me where they at, I tell them somewhere it really is not. Oops sorry for the boredom.