Official Confessions Thread. vol: Aint had one of these in a while.

Lately I really feel like I hate everything. I've tried to stay positive but it feels like nothing is getting better.

-I can't stand anyone I went to HS with that I was friends with besides for one person. I do a fantasy football league with these people every year, they collected money from me yesterday. The kid who runs the league still has my copy of Arkham Asylum so tried to make it a point for him to give that back before paying the 20 for my buy in. Doesn't help that he went to a movie with my ex 2 weeks ago so I feel like kicking the %!+ outta him.

-I still feel so much anger towards my ex. The way our relationship ended she truly did me dirty. I want nothing more than for her to be miserable. Sadly she's already with someone else, has been since 3 months after we broke up, and she appears to be happy. She deserves the worst of life and I truly feel that way. Finally started to like another girl for the first time since my ex, and well I'm reminded of why dating sucks. I wont go as far to say she lead me on, but she was definitely giving me vibes that she liked me, stayed up til 4:30 AM a week ago talking to me when she said she was going to bed around 1:30.

-If I put forth 100% effort I feel like I would have a shot at making an NFL team. I have this dude at the gym who always is telling me I need to try out for a team, but I go through times where I'll skip the gym for 6 weeks straight, and spend a good portion of those weeks eating super unhealthy and drinking a lot. Got back into it right now and I'm telling myself I won't let myself take time off like that again.

-Just feel like right now I really can't trust anyone or put faith in anyone but myself. Everyone around me seems so fake and only out for themselves.

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Lately I really feel like I hate everything. I've tried to stay positive but it feels like nothing is getting better.

-I can't stand anyone I went to HS with that I was friends with besides for one person. I do a fantasy football league with these people every year, they collected money from me yesterday. The kid who runs the league still has my copy of Arkham Asylum so tried to make it a point for him to give that back before paying the 20 for my buy in. Doesn't help that he went to a movie with my ex 2 weeks ago so I feel like kicking the %!+ outta him.

-I still feel so much anger towards my ex. The way our relationship ended she truly did me dirty. I want nothing more than for her to be miserable. Sadly she's already with someone else, has been since 3 months after we broke up, and she appears to be happy. She deserves the worst of life and I truly feel that way. Finally started to like another girl for the first time since my ex, and well I'm reminded of why dating sucks. I wont go as far to say she lead me on, but she was definitely giving me vibes that she liked me, stayed up til 4:30 AM a week ago talking to me when she said she was going to bed around 1:30.

-If I put forth 100% effort I feel like I would have a shot at making an NFL team. I have this dude at the gym who always is telling me I need to try out for a team, but I go through times where I'll skip the gym for 6 weeks straight, and spend a good portion of those weeks eating super unhealthy and drinking a lot. Got back into it right now and I'm telling myself I won't let myself take time off like that again.

-Just feel like right now I really can't trust anyone or put faith in anyone but myself. Everyone around me seems so fake and only out for themselves.

eyes.gif

frown.gif
 
I don't like people paying for me even if they are trying to be nice
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I don't like people paying for me even if they are trying to be nice
tired.gif
 
 
Religion and history isn't exactly what we were taught and I wish I knew the truths

I really wanna move to Florida or Texas but it won't happen as long as I'm w/ my girl
30t6p3b.gif


I have a gambling problem but i win so i guess the prob isn't that bad lol

I low key have a thing for white females but I've never dated one
 
Religion and history isn't exactly what we were taught and I wish I knew the truths

I really wanna move to Florida or Texas but it won't happen as long as I'm w/ my girl
30t6p3b.gif


I have a gambling problem but i win so i guess the prob isn't that bad lol

I low key have a thing for white females but I've never dated one
 
I've been hooking up with this girl sporadically. Every weekend for the past month probably.

We share hella in common, and she grew on me. I really like this girl, but I keep telling myself I don't.

Mostly cuz I don't wanna get back from winter break, and not have her anymore.

That's all.
 
I've been hooking up with this girl sporadically. Every weekend for the past month probably.

We share hella in common, and she grew on me. I really like this girl, but I keep telling myself I don't.

Mostly cuz I don't wanna get back from winter break, and not have her anymore.

That's all.
 
I never knew what it meant to have a real Christmas since my family never celebrate it 
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I never knew what it meant to have a real Christmas since my family never celebrate it 
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i really wish that i havent seen images of my ex being raped when i hugged her and confronted her about it. we would still be together if i kept my mouth shut
 
i really wish that i havent seen images of my ex being raped when i hugged her and confronted her about it. we would still be together if i kept my mouth shut
 
- NO one really knows where my real source of income comes from..... LIKE literally no one. Some days I wonder if my mom knows and she just hasn't said anything.... Jay-z has a quote on AG about how he said "I told God when I get to one brick then I will depart. Got my first brick and said sorry God-Allah gimmie one more try". I know this all to well... (No DRUGS, NO GAY #$% tho)

-I'm in grad school now but I constantly ask myself why? The major that I major'd in don't make no money

- I know for a fact I love my girl like no other. But there are times when I think bout smashing other girls. Long distance relationships FTL..... Still haven't cheated tho.

- One of my homegirls be hittin on me on the sneak. I think she doesn't realize that I know what she is implying...... Sad part is 1 year ago this time I would've loved to have a chick like her

- Also on a side note about a year ago I kinda kissed my homeboys BM. (Actually could've smashed)..... There is literally only 1 other person in the whole world that knows this..... On a side note, me and dude aint exactly cool no more and he def played my aunt and my MA outta money. In all honesty if I would've smashed dudes BM we still wouldn't have even been close to even after all the shady stuff dude has done to me and my fam, but the good dude in me just couldn't pull the trigger.

- I broke up with Mary about 6 months ago but every now and then I have a slip up and me and her spend a night together........ As long as my girl don't find out I'm good.
 
- NO one really knows where my real source of income comes from..... LIKE literally no one. Some days I wonder if my mom knows and she just hasn't said anything.... Jay-z has a quote on AG about how he said "I told God when I get to one brick then I will depart. Got my first brick and said sorry God-Allah gimmie one more try". I know this all to well... (No DRUGS, NO GAY #$% tho)

-I'm in grad school now but I constantly ask myself why? The major that I major'd in don't make no money

- I know for a fact I love my girl like no other. But there are times when I think bout smashing other girls. Long distance relationships FTL..... Still haven't cheated tho.

- One of my homegirls be hittin on me on the sneak. I think she doesn't realize that I know what she is implying...... Sad part is 1 year ago this time I would've loved to have a chick like her

- Also on a side note about a year ago I kinda kissed my homeboys BM. (Actually could've smashed)..... There is literally only 1 other person in the whole world that knows this..... On a side note, me and dude aint exactly cool no more and he def played my aunt and my MA outta money. In all honesty if I would've smashed dudes BM we still wouldn't have even been close to even after all the shady stuff dude has done to me and my fam, but the good dude in me just couldn't pull the trigger.

- I broke up with Mary about 6 months ago but every now and then I have a slip up and me and her spend a night together........ As long as my girl don't find out I'm good.
 
real talk, though:

my future is looking really good, and it's making me feel guilty because i've never been a particularly hard worker or even a good student. like i've been high in about 75% of all the classes i've attended during college. I've got a 3.5 at this school i just transfered to because I lucked up in the classes i took for that one semester, but people see my gpa and think i'm some dediated student. I major in english, which is one of those majors that people assume you're either going to go to law/grad school or teach because there's no jobs for it. I'm about to enter my last semester of college and now work at a publishing company that is waiting to hire me full time. On top of that I'm applying for a program at Columbia University in NYC to get certified training in publishing, something that could lead me to being 23, living in New York City, and making good money from the start of my professional life. I actually have a good shot at this program because I have a year of professional experience. Yesterday i was a week late with my final paper, a 12 page essay that is supposed to be in lieu of the final exam. This class is taught by one of the hardest profs at my school, a respected author who made it out of Guyana in the 60's to travel the world and write novels. I called her to see if there was a point in even trying to finish the paper, and she told me "make sure to send it to me by tommorow so you can keep that B." Mind you i was a week late with the FINAL at this point. I am smart, though, and have always been good at making a good professional impression. I truly feel like I got the job from just hand shakes and saying the right thing to the right people, but apparently I'm actually pretty good at my job, and I really do find it mad interesting. Everyone I know who worked hard throughout school getting that engineering or finance is looking at moving back home, possibly teaching until they can find something in there field, meanwhile I'm setting up this awesome life in NYC and smoking sour diesel almost daily.

I feel like karma is going to get me, so I'm trying to become a more responsible person before I find myself with too much freedom, too much money, too many broads, and too much free time on my hands.

also this:

there's this dude that owes me money. i bailed him out of jail TWICE and he stiffed me on some "i gotta pay lawyer fees" type stuff. this was over the summer, so i figured i'd cut my losses and keep it moving, because i can't afford to go to jail for stabbin some dude up no romo just because i wanted to keep i real. The thing is, though, that even though he's a horrible drug dealer, he's friends with all the weed sellers in my neighborhood. So if I buy weed I gotta risk running into him. luckily it hasn't happened, but I'm worried that if I ever see him i'm going to throw it all away in order to protect my own pride. My best friend couldn't understand why i wouldn't buy weed from certain people because I knew that he was on some best friend steez with them, but I don't care if my mans buys from him. I tried to tell him but he just looks at me like "yo life is not Boardwalk Empire." I don't know why I can't let it go, but I really can't. Like yesterday i went with him to grab from this guy's really good friend, who was there through the whole situation on threeway from jail and even putting in himself on bail. I been told this dude i don't #%!@ with him and he got mad like this is out of nowhere. So anyway we do the deal car-to-car and the whole time I'm just lookin at this dude in his eye with a smirk. I made sure to say the first word and i was like "Wassup? What's poppin?" just waiting for him to do something off so I could t-bone his car. All he said was "Ask your mans, this that diesel!" and i was kind of pissed off because just last week he was callin me all sorts of names and i thought he was willing to take it there once we met up.
 
real talk, though:

my future is looking really good, and it's making me feel guilty because i've never been a particularly hard worker or even a good student. like i've been high in about 75% of all the classes i've attended during college. I've got a 3.5 at this school i just transfered to because I lucked up in the classes i took for that one semester, but people see my gpa and think i'm some dediated student. I major in english, which is one of those majors that people assume you're either going to go to law/grad school or teach because there's no jobs for it. I'm about to enter my last semester of college and now work at a publishing company that is waiting to hire me full time. On top of that I'm applying for a program at Columbia University in NYC to get certified training in publishing, something that could lead me to being 23, living in New York City, and making good money from the start of my professional life. I actually have a good shot at this program because I have a year of professional experience. Yesterday i was a week late with my final paper, a 12 page essay that is supposed to be in lieu of the final exam. This class is taught by one of the hardest profs at my school, a respected author who made it out of Guyana in the 60's to travel the world and write novels. I called her to see if there was a point in even trying to finish the paper, and she told me "make sure to send it to me by tommorow so you can keep that B." Mind you i was a week late with the FINAL at this point. I am smart, though, and have always been good at making a good professional impression. I truly feel like I got the job from just hand shakes and saying the right thing to the right people, but apparently I'm actually pretty good at my job, and I really do find it mad interesting. Everyone I know who worked hard throughout school getting that engineering or finance is looking at moving back home, possibly teaching until they can find something in there field, meanwhile I'm setting up this awesome life in NYC and smoking sour diesel almost daily.

I feel like karma is going to get me, so I'm trying to become a more responsible person before I find myself with too much freedom, too much money, too many broads, and too much free time on my hands.

also this:

there's this dude that owes me money. i bailed him out of jail TWICE and he stiffed me on some "i gotta pay lawyer fees" type stuff. this was over the summer, so i figured i'd cut my losses and keep it moving, because i can't afford to go to jail for stabbin some dude up no romo just because i wanted to keep i real. The thing is, though, that even though he's a horrible drug dealer, he's friends with all the weed sellers in my neighborhood. So if I buy weed I gotta risk running into him. luckily it hasn't happened, but I'm worried that if I ever see him i'm going to throw it all away in order to protect my own pride. My best friend couldn't understand why i wouldn't buy weed from certain people because I knew that he was on some best friend steez with them, but I don't care if my mans buys from him. I tried to tell him but he just looks at me like "yo life is not Boardwalk Empire." I don't know why I can't let it go, but I really can't. Like yesterday i went with him to grab from this guy's really good friend, who was there through the whole situation on threeway from jail and even putting in himself on bail. I been told this dude i don't #%!@ with him and he got mad like this is out of nowhere. So anyway we do the deal car-to-car and the whole time I'm just lookin at this dude in his eye with a smirk. I made sure to say the first word and i was like "Wassup? What's poppin?" just waiting for him to do something off so I could t-bone his car. All he said was "Ask your mans, this that diesel!" and i was kind of pissed off because just last week he was callin me all sorts of names and i thought he was willing to take it there once we met up.
 
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