Official mental health and group therapy thread. Get it off your chest

[flasurfing]

i think alcohol is killing me. I feel literally sick the day after drinking and i get to the point where my body hurts, i cant breathe, and my heart starts pounding. Every time it happens i tell myself ill never drink again.

i cant stop drinking.

i only started drinking heavy after my mother died in 2005 from cancer. i dont think i have accepted her death. Logically i obviously realize she's dead but to me, in my mind i havent moved on.
Help NT.

Im usually a very happy and positive person but this is one aspect of my life that i feel i will never overcome.

post content to avi ratio is off the charts

with all jokes aside..... you got the power to get on the right path.  My father used to drink pretty heavily....no liquor, but dude would throw down 8 beers on a nightly basis as long as I can remember. When I was seventeen, he had what only i can describe as an episode after only having a few beers..... he went to the dr, where they explained what was going on with his body....

They said you don't get hardly any REM sleep if you've been drinking within 6 hours of sleep...... i guess it made him a little loopy that night.

He stopped drinking for a around 2 or 3 years, and even though he drinks some now it is usually 2 or 3 beers if he decides to drink which is good for him.

the rem thing is only one of the detrimental effects of alcohol

good luck fam.  you will feel better once you get started on that sober life.

Once you've been sober and prove to yourself you don't need it you could probably start drinking socially again... be careful tho

 

[thegreatone]

I feel that everything I eat will get me sick.

I get paranoid when I hear about cancer affecting others, so any symptoms I get, I start thinking I might have it.

 

[T Lo Sweater]

I was at the store last nIght to get some stuff. I passed by the pharmacy and picked up some sleeping pills. I went to he self checkout and paid for everything. I get home but the pills aren't in the bag

I don't even need them cause I can sleep just fine but the thoughts in my head is just too much. I took some NyQuil tho I didn't need it, and went to sleep

 

[sooperhooper]

I get offened to easy like i can laugh at myself or someone crack jokes that's cool but if u tell me shutup, get loud,call me out of name, mock me, try to clown me I'ma check you no matter what..I'm talking about in real life not online lol...I'm honestly working on not taking myself so seriously..but I hate the feeling of someone trying to "play" me..this stems from growing up n having ppl crack on me that victim mentality always fighting back never left me..I stopped gettin clowned by standing up for myself n bein an a-hole..I just want to be able to blow stuff off n not lose my cool or always "check" ppl imo I feel its a weak trait always demanding my respect..

Family, this is me 110%.I hate being embarrassed in front of people. The thing is, if I don't address it immediately by checking the person, it will linger on my mind forever. That person's image will be ingrained in my mind and I'll constantly replay the situation over and over. One of the worst instances of this that I can recall happened in 04.i called myself letting something slide and the aforementioned side effects plagued me for literally a year. Clouding my thoughts and interfering with my school work.

I think this is due in part to my exceptional long term memory. I can remember things from kindergarten in magnificent detail. Some things in my life however, I'd prefer to let go of.

 

[rook]

Anybody else here antisocial but at the same time social? If that makes sense.

For Ex. I'll go through phases where I don't hit up anybody nor hit them back. For no reasons bros. it's so wierd. It only started when I started lifting and getting fit...it's like the gym is the only place I feel normal. I've gone to the gym over going to clubs...**** even getting some p...I can't explain it. And with the gym thing, I was never fat or overweight or nothing...I was just a typical athlete but once I started lifting and getting mass, I let it get to my head and it's made me so self conscious.

It's crazy man...imma handsome dude, get girls whenever I want...always having my phone blown up all day from friends/girls/etc...but I'll just shut them out for weeks. Not even joking. I mean folks on here follow me on twitter/instagram (@djayngo) and I'm cool as hell, always been that way.

Can't even count how many girls I've let slip away with this antisocial phase I'm going through man.

 

[216301baller]

@sooper I'm glad u know where I'm comin from..n same here if I dont handle the situation properly it will take over my thoughts for a long time
@rook same here..I've missed out on many girls being anti...friends as well its like new friends I could care less I have my boys from hs n they know how I am..

 

[counterfeithype]

Im glad I just found this thread. I'll start writing in here more often. I dont usually like venting on the internet but at least no one knows who I am on Nike Talk...

I've figured out today that my mentality sometimes goes on and off. Almost like Im bi-polar. I try to entertain people and be the person who's always there for them, But lately, I've realized that I'm more than tired of everything and everyone around me. I always say to myself nowadays, "What's the point of this? Its temporary." Everything is temporary. To be honest, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I've even questioned myself about my love for shoes. I mean, Whats the point of buying this or buying that? We're all gonna die someday and we wont be able to take materialistic things with us. I don't know whats wrong with me. I've been such a mess the past month. I feel like Im taking my time here on earth for granted. I dont know, I dont even know what I'm saying. Its 6am here in California, I havent slept yet, I was awake laying in bed trying to sleep and looking at the ceiling with memories of my past flashing in my head. I've kept doing this the past couple nights, But every memory I reminisce about, ends up with me laying in bed in tears. Too intense for just memories, but just as gentle as the first time I lived thru it. I dont know whats been wrong with me lately. Its been like this for a month. I just honestly don't know.

 

[jadakhanman]

My girl is relatively uneducated, always sick and has a horribly unsupportive waste of a family. Every week it is something different; this week her herniated disc is acting up and i have to basically be the one to take care of it because i cant trust her idiotic family to be through about it or frankly even care. She's in severe pain all the time and that has made me a complete wreck. She was supposed to finally start school next week but now because of the injury she can't. I come from a wonderful family, have two masters degrees and am in generally good health. I have been supporting her in all aspects (including sometimes monetairly) of her life for years now but as the days go by all i can think about is leaving her. She is a great person and wonderful gf but i cringe everytime i see her name pop up on my phone because all i ever expect is more bad news. All i keep thinking about is all the things i dont do anymore and more importantly that my general happiness is reduced to nothing as long as i'm still with her. This has left me severly depressed and racked with guilt because how can i leave someone who will basically fall flat on her face without me, someone who has loved me and never done anything wrong to me, someone i thought i would spend the rest of my life with? Now i just smoke copious amounts of bud and just feel numb to everything. Sometimes i dream about packing my things and leaving the country. Anything to stop the sadness and untie the permanent knot in my stomach. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

 

[thegreatone]

My girl is relatively uneducated, always sick and has a horribly unsupportive waste of a family. Every week it is something different; this week her herniated disc is acting up and i have to basically be the one to take care of it because i cant trust her idiotic family to be through about it or frankly even care. She's in severe pain all the time and that has made me a complete wreck. She was supposed to finally start school next week but now because of the injury she can't. I come from a wonderful family, have two masters degrees and am in generally good health. I have been supporting her in all aspects (including sometimes monetairly) of her life for years now but as the days go by all i can think about is leaving her. She is a great person and wonderful gf but i cringe everytime i see her name pop up on my phone because all i ever expect is more bad news. All i keep thinking about is all the things i dont do anymore and more importantly that my general happiness is reduced to nothing as long as i'm still with her. This has left me severly depressed and racked with guilt because how can i leave someone who will basically fall flat on her face without me, someone who has loved me and never done anything wrong to me, someone i thought i would spend the rest of my life with? Now i just smoke copious amounts of bud and just feel numb to everything. Sometimes i dream about packing my things and leaving the country. Anything to stop the sadness and untie the permanent knot in my stomach. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

You have to do what makes you happy because at the end of the day that is all that matters. It is okay to be selfish sometimes. It is not always good to be the good person.

 

[Mark Antony]

Anybody else here antisocial but at the same time social? If that makes sense.

For Ex. I'll go through phases where I don't hit up anybody nor hit them back. For no reasons bros. it's so wierd. It only started when I started lifting and getting fit...it's like the gym is the only place I feel normal. I've gone to the gym over going to clubs...**** even getting some p...I can't explain it. And with the gym thing, I was never fat or overweight or nothing...I was just a typical athlete but once I started lifting and getting mass, I let it get to my head and it's made me so self conscious.

It's crazy man...imma handsome dude, get girls whenever I want...always having my phone blown up all day from friends/girls/etc...but I'll just shut them out for weeks. Not even joking. I mean folks on here follow me on twitter/instagram (@djayngo) and I'm cool as hell, always been that way.

Can't even count how many girls I've let slip away with this antisocial phase I'm going through man.

I was the same way, but i realized even though i mean no offense by it, it can be taken the wrong way. So as an introvert i still need that recharge time, it's just who I am, but I will send a text every now and then. Takes two seconds, and you can respond on your own time, there's no talking so you're not trapped in a conversation you may not be interested in now, but will be in a week. It's unreasonable to just show up weeks later talking bout let's kick it. I used to have the thought too, like if it matters they'll hit me up, but it's easier for people to assume the worst and not do anything.

 

[elcatfisho]

Something is really off about me. I'm certain I'm bipolar. I think about funny things I could say during the day or amazing stories about life when I'm trying to sleep but when I go out to classes it becomes apparent to me that I'm just like everyone else struggling to get through class and actually be successful in the end.

Lots of people I know think I'm weird. I wish I could just end everything but the consequences are too great and I need to be happy about something.

 

[mronegative]

I keep thinking about doing it.......

Huh. Guess he did it.
or is patiently waiting for e-attention

 

[bluexsneakerhead]

i've been suffering from depression since i was 16. i'm almost 21 now. and recently, i was diagnosed with an anxiety problem, but anxiety IS a symptom of depression.

i already know the ultimate root of my problems: i was extremely emotionally abused by both my ex boyfriends. and mind you, i was still extremely young when i endured the abuse from both of them. i still deal with the aftermath of everything they both put me through

my first ex is a NTer, so i'm not gonna say anything about him. i closed that dark chapter of my life and he's out of my life for good. i haven't seen him in 4 years. i want to keep it that way.

the second one lurks around here occasionally, but i'm gonna talk about how he added to my self-destruction.

we had a very tumultuous relationship since my junior year of high school until my 3rd year of college (november 2012).

he always got PISSED at me whenever i spoke my mind. if i felt a certain way and told him about it, he always got mad and would say that i don't listen to him because if i did listen to him, i wouldn't feel the way i feel. if i loved him, i wouldn't feel that way. as a result, we always fought. he always said my worth to him is based on my ability to listen to him. listening, in his definition, is listening to ALL the advice he gives me (when all i wanted was his comfort and reassurance), and doing what he tells me 100% of the way.

i felt like i couldn't even be honest with myself and my thoughts. he always told me to grow up, but i couldn't even make my own decisions because he would always get mad. i always was wrong, and he was ALWAYS right -- and he said this himself a number of times too. because i was two years younger than him, he "knows best, and is just trying to help me".

he made me feel crazy. literally. whenever we fought, he always blamed our problems on me. he always blamed me for how i felt -- feelings that were triggered by his mistakes. i was always "overreacting" in his eyes. everything was "my problem". whenever he hurt me, he would briefly admit that he indeed did wrong. but after that, he would turn the tables on me, saying that he was just living his life, and that i wouldn't feel the way i feel if i just listened to him. basically, he would never take full responsibility for his wrongdoings. he always justified him mistreating me, mainly because "i don't listen to him". he always made me feel like i deserve to be treated the way he did. for years, i always apologized for annoying him, not being good enough, for being so sensitive....

time and time again, he called me bad names -- ugly, stupid, psycho/crazy, a female dog, a piece of ****, worthless, useless, lower than dirt -- all when i was already depressed as ****.

also, he lied to me billions of times, but he always denied his bull****. his lies were 95% about other girls. even recently, one of our mutual friends (i see her as an older sister) told me that he was persistent in trying to get her to date him too, even when she kept rejecting him..... all while he and i were still working things out.

because of all of this, i don't even trust myself and my own instincts anymore. i also have a really bad inferiority complex. whenever he was infatuated with a girl, he always compared me (not in a good way) to his girl(s) of interest. i was always never good enough, never pretty enough. even now, i feel hideous to every girl i see.

my entire second year of college, my coping mechanisms weren't healthy at all. because i was so ashamed at me feeling worthless, i self-harmed. i cut my left arm up, slapped myself across my face thousands of times, and always pulled my hair. i was so distraught that i drank myself wasted almost every single weekend. i resorted to smoking cigarettes to ease the pain.

he was my first love and i was there for him through thick and thin, while he kept leaving me and coming back to me whenever he pleases. basically, i was his ride or die. i realize now how whipped i was for him. i openly let him hurt me for YEARS just so he could see my worth -- this was my mistake.

i never spoke out since i was 16 because i thought i was crazy. i only started getting help recently, and it feels really good to get therapy and such. i'm sorry for the long post..... i just had alot of things to let out.

 

[ishnaga]

Its gonna get real deep in here... "suscribed" 

Big ups to you op. 

 

[6 Rings G.O.A.T.]

About to backtrack this thread..

 

[a blinkin]

Cutting all these loose ends out of my life.

One girl in particular is proving more difficult to let go of. **** sucks so bad.

 

[216301baller]

I'm my best friend n I'm most definitely my worst enemy

 

[counterfeithype]

My girl is relatively uneducated, always sick and has a horribly unsupportive waste of a family. Every week it is something different; this week her herniated disc is acting up and i have to basically be the one to take care of it because i cant trust her idiotic family to be through about it or frankly even care. She's in severe pain all the time and that has made me a complete wreck. She was supposed to finally start school next week but now because of the injury she can't. I come from a wonderful family, have two masters degrees and am in generally good health. I have been supporting her in all aspects (including sometimes monetairly) of her life for years now but as the days go by all i can think about is leaving her. She is a great person and wonderful gf but i cringe everytime i see her name pop up on my phone because all i ever expect is more bad news. All i keep thinking about is all the things i dont do anymore and more importantly that my general happiness is reduced to nothing as long as i'm still with her. This has left me severly depressed and racked with guilt because how can i leave someone who will basically fall flat on her face without me, someone who has loved me and never done anything wrong to me, someone i thought i would spend the rest of my life with? Now i just smoke copious amounts of bud and just feel numb to everything. Sometimes i dream about packing my things and leaving the country. Anything to stop the sadness and untie the permanent knot in my stomach. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

I had a similar problem. No one can ever really understand what you feel like, but people can always relate somewhat. I had to leave the person I was with. My significant other at the time was always sick as well, but has never done anything to hurt me. Their family was non-existent to them, and they always relied on me for everything. They too were not educated and although I felt like leaving them would damage them badly (Both emotionally and physically), I felt it had to be done. Its not that I'm heartless, I really do care for a select number of people very deeply, but I was just not happy. I felt like I was stuck in a loveless relationship because I was basically trapped in by guilt. I had to let it go and although I know it hurt them, At least I was able to feel better because I got a heavy weight off my chest.

 

[216301baller]

No racist post and this is dead serious ever since I've started messing with white women I've been effed up in the head u know I've tried but this was the final straw 1. Fake pregnancy..girl wasn't even pregnant...had me going crazy 2. Framed for a robbery wasnt even at the house...I see the girl everyday and she acts like **** is gravy..yea that lawyer fee wasn't though 3. Got head from a 31 yr old country white woman Tuesday I call her house her dad picks up n says she's not home but she tells me u tried to do stuff to her...my mouth just dropped n all I could say was wow..all the worst case scenarios have been going Thru my head for an hour now...how could somebody be so cold n lie like that for no reason

I.honestly just wanna change my.number and act like that ish never happened...but I'm going missing for a while I need to.just be to myself n get my self right...I'm legitimately pissed right now cuz its like if this.woman or her dad hate black ppl..they could easily lie n try to take me.to court for no reason ..that would be it for me all over a bj smh

 

[unsuited]

FOR EVERYONE THAT HAS POSTED IN THIS THREAD TO VENT

1. TAKE A VACATION. YOU DONT NEED MONEY, JUST A QUIET PLACE...PREFERABLY OUTSIDE (PARK/WOODS)
2. THINK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM WITH THE INTENT TO FIND A REASON WHY THEY ARE THERE (DONT WORRY ABOUT THE SOLUTION JUST YET)
3. I MEAN REALLY THINK ABOUT WHY THEY'RE THERE......YOU CAN LIE TO OTHERS...BUT YOU CANT LIE TO YOURSELF (YOU CAN, BUT IM SAYING......DONT REJECT ANY OF THE REASONS THAT POP UP IN YOUR HEAD...NO MATTER HOW ABSURD OR CLICHE
4. IT WILL TAKE MORE THAN ONE SESSION.......BUT ONCE YOU HAVE COME TO TERMS WITH WHY YOU FEEL A CERTAIN WAY, NO MATTER WHAT POSITION YOU MAY BE IN.......IT WILL BE EASIER TO TACKLE THE SITUATION.

PLEASE DON'T WALLOW IN SELF-PITTY.....IT CAN BE A VERY ADDICTIVE THING

AND JUST LIKE ALL ADDICTIONS.....IT CLOUDS YOUR JUDGEMENT ON LIFE.

PS

All  is grace. Nothing happens by chance, everything happens for a reason. Life is beautiful!         -some genius ...

 

[htg designs]

No racist post and this is dead serious ever since I've started messing with white women I've been effed up in the head u know I've tried but this was the final straw 1. Fake pregnancy..girl wasn't even pregnant...had me going crazy 2. Framed for a robbery wasnt even at the house...I see the girl everyday and she acts like **** is gravy..yea that lawyer fee wasn't though 3. Got head from a 31 yr old country white woman Tuesday I call her house her dad picks up n says she's not home but she tells me u tried to do stuff to her...my mouth just dropped n all I could say was wow..all the worst case scenarios have been going Thru my head for an hour now...how could somebody be so cold n lie like that for no reason

I.honestly just wanna change my.number and act like that ish never happened...but I'm going missing for a while I need to.just be to myself n get my self right...I'm legitimately pissed right now cuz its like if this.woman or her dad hate black ppl..they could easily lie n try to take me.to court for no reason ..that would be it for me all over a bj smh

Thats wild, bro. Even though these issues are coincidental (any twisted chick would dothis. i would take it as a sign tho. , i would def
fall back with these broads for now. Your health, freedom, safety is no. 1 and we all take that for granted until we in a jam. No chik is
worth jeopordizn the elements. (60 percent of earth is chix) Lay lo and focus on you for now, these broads aint goin nowhere.
(ive been dun dirty by the wonder bread, might wanna go back to wheat)

 

[rook]

Man another post...Chick I been messing with for years, but was just a total **** to her. Not in a rude way but just blowing her off when she wanted to hangout and whatnot...so finally i stop messing around and start chillin with her, and actually hanging out. So while this is going on. She's going out with this dude I know since elementary school man. but at the same time, me and her both know what's the real deal between us. She tells me she loves me and **** and I know it's true. Fast forward to October and we ended up ******g at her dorm/apartment. I knew it was ****** up but ****, it's life right. Either way, ever since that day, **** changed for both. I caught heavy feelings (root of the p smh) and out of nowhere her bf starts actually being a real bf to her man. Taking her out, buying her expensive Jewlery, all that simp ****. So all that talk of her leaving him for me was out the window cuz she knows it'll start some whole crazy ****.

Sounds grimy but some days I feel like letting the dude know how we ****** while they are still together out. But I know I'd never do it. Major lame and p**** move on my part.

But anyways, we don't even talk anymore because I'm pissed she choose to stay with dude because she doesn't wanna break his heart. Selfish? Yeah. But as soon as she sees me talking to some broads out at parties, she wanna hit me with that "We should hangout" text. But I can't do it man, if I was 17 still then I'd be smashing daily, but I'm not about that life anymore.

Sucks brahs. Then I got friends telling me she chose him over me because he probably gotta better pipe game lmao but I know that ain't it because she still wants the d. But ****, maybe that is the case. I've took broads from dudes because of my pipe game, maybe someone one upped me?

Anyways, end of rant. Swag

 

[charlie parker]

Anybody take anti-depressants?

or prescription adderall?

Ive always refused because i consider medication as a crutch and a sign of weakness but lately been wondering if it does more help than harm.

 

[htg designs]

Anybody take anti-depressants?

or prescription adderall?

Ive always refused because i consider medication as a crutch and a sign of weakness but lately been wondering if it does more help than harm.

Took prozac for a month. First time, i felt instantly happy& upbeat/ good mood. My wife saw the change alsilo. After
I didnt have that same effect. I found myself increasin the dose a couple times. Then i realzed one day, this the junky
path . I did finish the bottle,/prescription, but i aint refill em (and i was good for 3)

 

[htg designs]

Crazy how anti depressants even an option when a side effect may be suicidal thoughts. Like if you wasnt that deeply depressed, they can take you there. Is that a ride you wanna risk takin?