Official NT dad thread: can the dads get love

[riverdale road]

Any dads that had a child early in the relationship / not 100% committed?
did you fully commit? did you stay single? how did things play out...
need a little guidance. im worried because me and mom havent been able to strengthen the bond lately with me working nonstop and I've always been a lil shaky with long term monogamy

My son's mom got pregnant 4 months after we started talking. We tried to make it work, I got an apartment with her then eventually a house but since we really didn't get to know each other it ended. When I got with my wife she tried to put me on child support because she was upset. She tried to make my life miserable. But now we real cool it took some years & i got my son full time.

 

[Fozz]

That's awesome

Our dude is a talker. Love talking to him and imitating the "sounds" he does which provides a good reaction

He's also heavy into laughing which when your daughter does will further melt your heart

Oh, man. I can't wait.

It's crazy how quick they grow.

 Growing up way too fast.

 

[Proposition Joe]

View media item 859023

Yes they grow up real fast
Can't believe she's almost two

 

[nawghtyhare]

Any dads that had a child early in the relationship / not 100% committed?
did you fully commit? did you stay single? how did things play out...
need a little guidance. im worried because me and mom havent been able to strengthen the bond lately with me working nonstop and I've always been a lil shaky with long term monogamy

Met my kids mom in Jan of 2005
In April of 2006 my son was born
My dad was NEVER in my life
So I made sure no matter what I would take care of my responsibilities
I had a job
Moved me my son and girl into an apartment
All she had to do was stay at home and take care of the house
I worked and made the money
Mind u she a ratchet *** female
But that's how I liked EM back then
So I can't be mad at nobody but myself
I knew she was a handful from the jump
But she was light skinned with green eyes
And i just love black females with green eyes
Anyway
We would always argue or whatever
But I would never leave
I knew I didn't really wanna be in a relationship with her anymore
But I was afraid she would keep my son away from me
Welp guess what
She was pregnant again
Had my daughter in May of 07
So 2 kids with this girl who I didn't even wanna be with
Only with cause of my son
Now she pregnant and had another baby by me
Now her dad and her pressuring me to get married
And I give in
Just cause I'm fearful that I'm really not gonna be able to see my kids
so I give in
But guess what
On the way to the court house
She loses the money I told her to hold for the fees
I'm soooo damn juiced inside
Now mind u
She a ghetto hood female
But she can cook clean
Keep house looking good
Takes care of the kids and everything
But her friends who have kids
And don't do ****
And who have baby daddies who ain't there
And jealous of what she got always in her ear
So what happens arguments start
And finally she leaves
Goes to live with her parents
Takes my kids
Who I have to now visit
In the span of 3 months right after my daughter was born
I lose my kids
Job and place
I hate to visit my kids
Have to move in with my mom
Things dont work out
My ex parents let me move in
Cause they know how good of a dad I am
Mind u they also see that now they daughter
Ain't even spending time with the kids and now running in the streets
So I move in
Get a better job
My kids mom moves out to live with friends I focus on me and my kids for about a year
End up meeting this girl
We date
Introduce my kids to her
My kids are 1 and 2 during this time
I plan on leaving my kids grandparents house
So I have a sit down with my kids mom
And explain to her
I ain't never being Seperate for from my kids again
And we just agree
An agreement which had held up to this very day
My kids are 8 and 9
We agree that the kids live with me
My bad at it being long winded and I'm missing very important parts
But man I learned not to try and hold on to something
that you know isn't worth holding onto
All u can do is get ur stuff in order
And make sure u have leverage when the split happens
Leverage definitely helps in these situations
Also always keep receipts in case she tries to take u to court
Any receipts having to do with the baby
From diapers to clothes to even baby powder
Keep those receipts
I have 2 drawers full of receipts
JUST IN CASE
I had a scare around 2010
She had applied for cash aid from welfare
She has also had a baby by someone else since
And used my kids names to get more money
So u know child support came looking for me
But I had those receipts
My kids weren't in school yet so providing proof was a lil hard at first
But those reciepts and insurance coverage(medical and dental) with our addresses and all that were clutch

 

[Blake P]

Damn, thing that tripped me out most about all of that was you living with your baby mom's parents even when you two weren't together, all the while moving on with someone else!  Props for making the best of that situation and taking care of your kids through it all.  Lesser men would have been OUT.

 

[nawghtyhare]

Damn, thing that tripped me out most about all of that was you living with your baby mom's parents even when you two weren't together, all the while moving on with someone else!  Props for making the best of that situation and taking care of your kids through it all.  Lesser men would have been OUT.

Yeah that's the crazy thing me and all her fam are super cool
Her brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews are all cool with me
Like even when me and her had issues
They took her side(they family so I understood)
But always stayed cool with me
Her parents looked out for me alot especially when me and my mom was having issues
Her dad drove me to training for this job for 2 weeks
Stayed outside the place for 8hrs each day for me to finish
He was real cool
His bday was a few days after mine
He passed in like 2010

 

[the 718 truth]

Any dads that had a child early in the relationship / not 100% committed?
did you fully commit? did you stay single? how did things play out...
need a little guidance. im worried because me and mom havent been able to strengthen the bond lately with me working nonstop and I've always been a lil shaky with long term monogamy

Long story as short as possible lol…

My wife and I met in 09 through a mutual friend. We built a very good rapport in a short time and became great friends. We both pursued other people at one point but stayed friends. Both of our respective relationships ended and we eventually became "friends with benefits". She eventually got pregnant and after the initial shock we knew we had a decision to make.

We had long honest discussions about where we stood, and we decided on marriage. We didn't feel pressured or forced, it just felt natural. We had become best friends over time and knew what was expected from a significant other. (It also honestly helped that i felt I had gotten everything outta my system. ) We tied the knot on NYE '13. Our son was born January '14. We just celebrated our 2nd anniversary and I honestly couldn't be happier.

Everyday isn't perfect and we have our misunderstandings and arguments but communication is the key. We also make it a point to never disrespect each other no matter how upset we might be. Only you two know if you're ready for marriage at this time. I'd say DON'T RUSH ANYTHING. Everyone's situation is different. Just have open, honest, mature discussions about how you both feel and it will take its course. Sorry for the long story lol

 

[jaypesoz]

Daughter turned two months yesterday and had the first moment talking to her and seeing her smile over and over again.

My heart melted and tears were had.

A milestone for my wife and I.

Congrats, man. I swear I wanna just post pics of my little one all day, I'm just that excited being a parent

 

[ValarMorghulis]

While I love and visit this thread very often with my wife being 6 months pregnant...

I would ask for you to visit this thread if ya'll have any advice/tips/pointers for Brand new Dad's

http://niketalk.com/t/635324/nt-fathers-unite-tips-and-cheat-codes-for-1st-time-dads/

Think of it as an online resource that is consolidated and easy to find

 

[Sir San Diego]

Take these reps nawghtyhare . Outside of our love for AF-1s, I didn't know you too well, but you just gained a lot of respect from me man. Salute.

 

[stuntman mike]

this dude nawtyhare stepping up and doing what a real man is supposed to do. props to you. i like hearing stories like that.

 

[jumpmanpro97]

I got my gf pregnant in 2009 her parents were trying to get us married right away. But the both us of were like the stress of being first time parents and the stress of planning a wedding weren't what WE wanted. 2014 I proposed after getting my career right and money right. We're getting married in March. My son will be 6 years old. Advice out there if you're already having second thoughts of spending the rest of your life with someone don't get pressured into marrying them. It's funny how old school parents think that marrying someone will automatically make the situation better. My fiance's dad thought that us getting married right away would make me a "better dad"

 

[$tacy]

Any dads that had a child early in the relationship / not 100% committed?
did you fully commit? did you stay single? how did things play out...
need a little guidance. im worried because me and mom havent been able to strengthen the bond lately with me working nonstop and I've always been a lil shaky with long term monogamy

She was 18, I was 20 when we met. Got her pregnant at 21. She wanted to be with me that whole year, I was too busy living life ashing randoms and partying. When she told me she was pregnant she had lost her home at the time so she came and stayed with me and my old dude. I was lowley heated because my lifestyle had to change but no kid of mines was gonna live on idk where and I got a nice roof over my head. We were 2 separate people but eventually grew to love each other. Young us weren't compatible, older mature us are perfect for each other. Crazy how that **** worked out, I used to always say I can't be with her now I'm thinking about marrying her.

 

[nawghtyhare]

Any dads that had a child early in the relationship / not 100% committed?
did you fully commit? did you stay single? how did things play out...
need a little guidance. im worried because me and mom havent been able to strengthen the bond lately with me working nonstop and I've always been a lil shaky with long term monogamy

She was 18, I was 20 when we met. Got her pregnant at 21. She wanted to be with me that whole year, I was too busy living life ashing randoms and partying. When she told me she was pregnant she had lost her home at the time so she came and stayed with me and my old dude. I was lowley heated because my lifestyle had to change but no kid of mines was gonna live on idk where and I got a nice roof over my head. We were 2 separate people but eventually grew to love each other. Young us weren't compatible, older mature us are perfect for each other. Crazy how that **** worked out, I used to always say I can't be with her now I'm thinking about marrying her.

That maturation is crazy sometimes
It's like when people hit a certain age
A switch is hit and a persons mentality does a 180

 

[$tacy]

That maturation is crazy sometimes
It's like when people hit a certain age
A switch is hit and a persons mentality does a 180

I woke up one day and realized most of the disagreements were because of me. I was angry I couldn't run the streets no more and smash thots. So when I matured its like she followed suit and stopped going out thotting around, got a better job, start going to school. The conversation is amazing, I low key fell in love after my son was walking. We started off broke so now that we are financially stable that tool away a lot of stress also. On our 2nd place together and I couldn't see myself actually being with anybody else.

 

[nawghtyhare]

Stop taking all my damn reps

 

[$tacy]

Stop taking all my damn reps

Gotta be long lost cousins b. Between throwing daily shade, momma drama, baby momma drama we gotta be related.

 

[wrightone86]

NT Fathers in here doing the damn thing 

 

[Proposition Joe]

nawghtyhare you just got caught up in the light skin ratchet *****, that was my weakness to in my younger years

 

[iamdef]

That moment you realize that the source of arguements is yourself and knowing you need to change is an amazing epiphany. I remember when my wife and I were dating and we were arguing about something and it hit me that maybe who I was, was flawed and needs to improve. SMH

That's why when people say stuff like "That's just who I am" I think to myself, "Yea, and that's the problem!"

 

[Blake P]

 
That's why when people say stuff like "That's just who I am" I think to myself, "Yea, and that's the problem!"

QFT.  Some people act like they can't help but be an a--hole because that's just who they are as if it's not their fault...

 

[frshstunna]

Interesting what y'all been talking not considering certain ppl feel some type of way bout Cam Newton just having a kid n not married ....

http://www.charlotteobserver.com/opinion/letters-to-the-editor/article52948820.html

This ain't the 1950s no more, don't have to marry somebody cuz you knock em up ...the key is taking care of your child, being there for em n trying to maintain as civil a parental relationship with the moms as possible ... i would rather have 2 happy n productive parents living apart than misery all under one roof

 

[Fozz]

 
That moment you realize that the source of arguements is yourself and knowing you need to change is an amazing epiphany. I remember when my wife and I were dating and we were arguing about something and it hit me that maybe who I was, was flawed and needs to improve. SMH

That's why when people say stuff like "That's just who I am" I think to myself, "Yea, and that's the problem!"

Yeah, I realized too that I was losing my tempter lately, because I wasn't getting my way.

Can't be selfish and do what I want to do. I need to remind myself it's about my family, not me.

 

[iamdef]

I remember my ex "thought" she was pregnant and was tellin' me she was afraid that since we recently broke up that the kid wouldn't have a bright future and I told her that I grew up with my mom being single and my dad not being there was not a grand disaster. People with both parents in the household only have SMALLER chance of being "messed up" ain't no guarantees

 

[nawghtyhare]

Interesting what y'all been talking not considering certain ppl feel some type of way bout Cam Newton just having a kid n not married ....

http://www.charlotteobserver.com/opinion/letters-to-the-editor/article52948820.html

This ain't the 1950s no more, don't have to marry somebody cuz you knock em up ...the key is taking care of your child, being there for em n trying to maintain as civil a parental relationship with the moms as possible ... i would rather have 2 happy n productive parents living apart than misery all under one roof

This the one thread I will refuse to turn into a race thread
But we know the real reason why they going at cam