Official NT dad thread: can the dads get love

I was in the middle of a 2 hour rocking session last night when I had posted about having tried the sleep training earlier on.

I didn’t even try to let her cry it out, the last attempt she started crying when I sat her down, and I walked away for a minute and a half and she fell right asleep.

But ….. the mother of my very young child also decided that she was more interested in getting away from the life we had built here, and ran off to her moms about two hours away, and last night was the first night my baby has been back with me for a week, the first night last time was rough too.

I won’t say too much, cuz as said before, I’m sure she still stalks me on NT at times and I’m sure she still tries to use things against me,

But I really tried to exhaust the option of couples counseling for the sake of raising our daughter together under one roof, heck I even said I’ll stay somewhere else while we take space and work through counseling. She didn’t even want to entertain the idea, and I have a feeling I know why 😅

Anyway though, this wasn’t the life I envisioned 9 months ago, but I am still SOOO incredibly thankful for my daughter and love every moment I get to spend with her. I am also still very furious with her mother for the choices she’s made the last few weeks, and it especially makes me mad when my baby is suffering because of it. Luckily she adjusts quick and I think the rest of the week should be smooth sailing…. That is until the next time it’s her first night back here after a week away :-/

Such is life though.

Hopefully things get better bro.
 
I was in the middle of a 2 hour rocking session last night when I had posted about having tried the sleep training earlier on.

I didn’t even try to let her cry it out, the last attempt she started crying when I sat her down, and I walked away for a minute and a half and she fell right asleep.

But ….. the mother of my very young child also decided that she was more interested in getting away from the life we had built here, and ran off to her moms about two hours away, and last night was the first night my baby has been back with me for a week, the first night last time was rough too.

I won’t say too much, cuz as said before, I’m sure she still stalks me on NT at times and I’m sure she still tries to use things against me,

But I really tried to exhaust the option of couples counseling for the sake of raising our daughter together under one roof, heck I even said I’ll stay somewhere else while we take space and work through counseling. She didn’t even want to entertain the idea, and I have a feeling I know why 😅

Anyway though, this wasn’t the life I envisioned 9 months ago, but I am still SOOO incredibly thankful for my daughter and love every moment I get to spend with her. I am also still very furious with her mother for the choices she’s made the last few weeks, and it especially makes me mad when my baby is suffering because of it. Luckily she adjusts quick and I think the rest of the week should be smooth sailing…. That is until the next time it’s her first night back here after a week away :-/

Such is life though.
Stay strong fam. Have patience and do your best to be the bigger person for the sake of the kid. If u ever need to just vent hit my DMs. I'm on this site daily and I will try to get back to you as soon as possible.

I don't really talk about it much but my (now) wife (then BM) and I split about a year into having our son. Most of our differences were based on finances (hers) and just terrible communication/ expectations on my part. We were split for a year and a half. Hardest period of my life by far, especially because I felt like I had no real village to lean on when I needed help with my son (ironic considering I'm in my hometown, and at the time I lived 15 mins away from my mom). Long story short I learned a lot during that time but even more importantly, when I got off my bs, I realized I didn't want what my parents have, which is basically a one-way vendetta of my pops hating my mom for doing well after he left.

I'm taking a wild guess but I'm sure u don't want that or anything like it either. Looking back I can honestly say that seeing how bad my parents had it and how civil my girl and I were able to become while broken up is the only reason we were able to reconcile. Had she gotten spiteful (which some of her people told her to do), we would still be split to this day.

I will also say if she's a new mom give her some additional grace, women go through a lot after having a baby fam. I don't wanna say they go crazy but you really do have to give them some time to bounce back both mentally and physically, when u add lack of sleep into the equation it really is amazing to think that at one point women were having 8 + kids like it was nothing.
 
I just started sleep training my 9 month old (I know, late to the game) via the Ferber method. We’re on night 3 and so far it’s been okay. I’m sure starting this late isn’t helping, but how has everyone dealt with sleep training? I need to get my son to nap in his crib as well as he’s always being rocked to sleep. I’m hoping to hear some of your experience about this topic.
I'm the wrong person to take advice from on that topic

All 3 of my kids slept with us until they were at least 2yrs old :lol:
 
just got home from the movies. even with smuggling in some snacks, the total damage came out to around $100 for the 4 of us. they have tuesday deals here too so maybe we’ll try that next time 😂
 
Do you have theaters that play old movies before they can be streamed?

They are like 4 bucks to get in vs a million if you have them.
 
Do you have theaters that play old movies before they can be streamed?

They are like 4 bucks to get in vs a million if you have them.
we might still have a few like that on island but they’re kinda out of the way (or used to be). we mostly wanted to take the kids out for a fun time and my wife prefers the reserved seating with the recliners so it’s a little bit more. before we had my daughter, we’d go semi-often and i’d order **** like garlic chicken and truffle fries. now that we have two, i’m stuffing my wife’s bag with snacks, bringing in our own water, and sharing one popcorn 💸😂
 
Son turned 16 today. Also, M ml25 It'll get better. Also like sneakerprince said when my son moms had him she went through a period a month or so where she didnnt want to be bothered after my son turned like 6 months. He was with me 24/7 she didnt wanna be bothered. I looked back she was suffering from post partum.
IMG_20220711_164829_450.jpg
 
Stay strong fam. Have patience and do your best to be the bigger person for the sake of the kid. If u ever need to just vent hit my DMs. I'm on this site daily and I will try to get back to you as soon as possible.

I don't really talk about it much but my (now) wife (then BM) and I split about a year into having our son. Most of our differences were based on finances (hers) and just terrible communication/ expectations on my part. We were split for a year and a half. Hardest period of my life by far, especially because I felt like I had no real village to lean on when I needed help with my son (ironic considering I'm in my hometown, and at the time I lived 15 mins away from my mom). Long story short I learned a lot during that time but even more importantly, when I got off my bs, I realized I didn't want what my parents have, which is basically a one-way vendetta of my pops hating my mom for doing well after he left.

I'm taking a wild guess but I'm sure u don't want that or anything like it either. Looking back I can honestly say that seeing how bad my parents had it and how civil my girl and I were able to become while broken up is the only reason we were able to reconcile. Had she gotten spiteful (which some of her people told her to do), we would still be split to this day.

I will also say if she's a new mom give her some additional grace, women go through a lot after having a baby fam. I don't wanna say they go crazy but you really do have to give them some time to bounce back both mentally and physically, when u add lack of sleep into the equation it really is amazing to think that at one point women were having 8 + kids like it was nothing.

I super appreciate your response man. I’m sure I’ll take you up on that offer to DM you at some point. Trying to even respond some days feels like it takes so much mental energy that I struggle to find. Even in this particular thread.

Really thankful for everyone on NT who has been supportive in some way or another.
 
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Son turned 16 today. Also, M ml25 It'll get better. Also like sneakerprince said when my son moms had him she went through a period a month or so where she didnnt want to be bothered after my son turned like 6 months. He was with me 24/7 she didnt wanna be bothered. I looked back she was suffering from post partum.
IMG_20220711_164829_450.jpg
Pics are beautiful bro. You blessed man.
 
riverdale road riverdale road appreciate the words of encouragement. My wife definitely went though PPD after birth, and the recent lack of sleep seems to be bringing some of those signs out again so I’m really hoping he starts to sleep on his own. We are both fortunate enough to be on leave at the moment, so we can dedicate more time to sleep training. Really hoping by the end of this he makes a significant leap in sleep quality.
 
Brehs,

How do y’all handle custody of your kids if both you and your partner passed? My wife and I have had this discussion as we’re about to bring in our one and only. My goal is to avoid this if I can, but in case I can’t what’s the best way to ensure both grandparents get equal rights to the child?
 
i only have my mom left and she’s older and not the healthiest. my wife does not want her parents to take custody because they’re hardcore evangelical christians. we already discussed it and my brother would take custody….actually my sister in-law (his wife). she’s amazing with our kids.
 
I've never thought about who would take custody if both parents were to pass away unexpectedly

Grandparents usually are able to work out the logistics of making sure they get equal time with the grandkids
 
Anyone else's kids love Lego? Not gonna lie, I used to love them as a kid, now my 5 year old loves them and they are actually fun and relaxing to build.

Just picked this up for "him" to build :lol: ****s pretty expensive though
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I remember legos being expensive when I was a kid, they are def expensive now.
 
they are actually fun and relaxing to build
no they’re not 😂😖

but forreal my son loves lego. he gets star wars and harry potter sets.a few weeks back we were at target looking at lego and this sketchy dude comes down the aisle, pulls this big magnet thing out of his pocket, and unlocks the security strap on a big lego set. he’s struggling to put it in a large bag but he’s tweaking so hard that it’s making a big commotion so i walk my son to the next aisle. there’s a worker right there with a walkie talkie so i look at him with my eyes real big and he shrugs and says “we can’t do nothing…he was here 10 mins ago too”. we finish shopping and i see two big security dudes near the front so i say..”did you catch the lego dude?” and he says “wellllll maybe someone one did” and my wife starts laughing and says “what does that mean?” we go outside and the guy is long gone. when we get home i tell my wife imma get one of those magnets and give my son the best xmas ever. she’s like 🙄

anyway yeah. my kids love lego. it’s expensive af. sucks to step on the pieces. but they’re quiet when they’re building **** 🤷🏻‍♂️
 
An old friend of mine that had a bad drug problem used to be super into legos and would go to Wal Mart and steal ****. Kinda sad, but he knew what stuff to flip.
 
We bought our kids a few lego sets but they weren't into them that much

The lego pieces always ended up scattered all over the house or just thrown in the toy bin
 
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