Official NT dad thread: can the dads get love

stuntman mike said:
my in-laws have been here for 2 weeks, visiting from texas where they’ve lived for about a year. they already upset my wife by pressuring her to move us all up there. then i got covid and been in quarantine so they’ve been at the apartment more and my MIL finally said the wrong thing to piss my wife off. my wife was doing some work and said she thought she saw my in-laws praying with my son over some legos (harry potter) but she ignored it. after finishing she caught my MIL telling my son that he shouldn’t be reading “those books” harry potter and some other percy jackson something. my wife took her mom in another room and told her that she is not to shame my son for his reading choices in his own home. my MIL tried to argue back but my wife said it wasn’t up for discussion and she is to cut that **** immediately. then she called me and vented. thank goodness they go back tonight and now for sure there’s no ****ing way we will ever move up there with them, let alone stay there for a visit. they did good holding back their evangelical crackpot side but i guess seeing my son’s books, lego sets, wand, and gryffindor robe was too much :lol:
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Lmao… yo.. only reason I let my kids go with my MIL to church still is because they speak our native language, kids love seeing their cousins/fam, and gma takes them to casino buffet after so I don’t have to pay for Sunday dinner.
mr s j king said:
Is she still in high school?

I got my ears pierced in college so if she's in college I wouldn't trip because she's technically "grown"
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nah. I have 2 girls.. she graduated HS 2 yrs ago. I ain’t trippin off no piercings. She’s my eldest and probably the only female besides my mom I actually listen to
 
youngthundercat said:
4B664784-7CB2-4572-8577-69BCA55551A5.jpeg



Crazy my little crew growing so fast. The saying “don’t rush it” is so damn true. My daughter turned 6 last Saturday. I remember like it was yesterday my wife and I bringing her home from the hospital and me asking “what do we do now?”
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Daughter turning 6 soon. God bless. But i need to know where to get that sweater she got on. Fire
 
Always thought Harry Potter was a metaphor for Jesus 🤣 my mother in law stays with us sometimes she doesn’t push religion on my kid, they do pray sometimes which I don’t mind. We watched the conjuring movies recently my son is 12. He was shook 😂 my sister said he might end up leading the rosary prayers after watching those movies 🫠🫡
 
My son started 7th grade last week. I’m a little nervous for this year, rumor was last year two 7th graders were caught having sex in the bathroom. I don’t think it’s true but who knows these days 🤷🏻‍♂️
 
youngthundercat said:
Feels like you just brought them home from the hospital and now you about to explain the importance of sex. Life is crazy.
Click to expand...

Freudian slip? When my kids are old enough I'm probably going to gear the initial conversation more toward the importance of abstinence, but I think I know what you mean.
 
Blake P said:
Freudian slip? When my kids are old enough I'm probably going to gear the initial conversation more toward the importance of abstinence, but I think I know what you mean.
Click to expand...
Yea should’ve worded it better but the repercussions of sex and how it should be had by responsible adults. Having that talk with a 14 year old sounds crazy but you gotta have it bc a lot of these kids loose as a goose.
 
So... I am going to be losing my son(s) soon. Well, not really "losing" them exactly, but me and the BM haven't been getting along for the past month... to the point where I had been sleeping in a different bedroom because I just didn't want to be around her constantly negative ***, and honestly I am not even attracted to her anymore.

The issues I have are the fact that I am the breadwinner. She does help with the mortgage... I only charge her $750 a month, but I literally pay double what she does on average once you factor everything in. My damn power bill last month was $670! I saw it coming with the raising Ameren rates, so I already signed the contracts to have solar panels installed in October. $55k! Also got my roof replaced earlier this year... $22k, but luckily my insurance covered it all except for $4k for the deductible and skylights. I didn't ask her for ANYTHING other than the $750 she has been paying since we lived in Colorado. Anyway she was 3 weeks late with the money, which really pissed me off because that's not something you tell someone the day after rents do... after me asking her multiple times.

Luckily I'm always on point, I pay my mortgage and all other bills at least a month in advance, and I still have about $8k in my checking, but to put it in perspective, it was like $14k at the beginning of the year. Long story short this ***** is bleeding me and it is not sustainable at this rate. Part of the reason why the power bill is so damn high is the fact that she and my son are here all day, with the A/C on 72 all (we have vaulted ceiling and an open floor plan so heating and cooling this house has never been cheap, but not only has my power bill doubled compared to last year due to the rate increase on electricity, but the actual use of power is much higher because she stays at home all day with multiple TVs on most of the day... just using more power in general.

I honestly am not even that mad at her about that because it is what it is and I have already taken steps to control that utility (payments on my solar panels are only gonna be $180 a month so that will save me damn near $500 a month in the summer). What pisses me off is that she is literally here in the house all ******* day and will sit on her *** and do the least amount of work possible around the house. I shouldn't have to come home from work to a dirty house, toys everywhere, dishes in the sink (we have a ******* dish washer, come on). Then to top it all off, once I get home she acts like her shift is over and now I need to to everything and clean up their messes like I didn't just work a full *** day with a bunch of people I can't stand just so she can live comfortably in this big *** house that SHE wanted and did absolutely nothing to help me get.

So anyway I told her "we need to talK" for the past 3 weeks, and she had been ignoring it, probably because she thought I was gonna break up with her. I finally told her last week we are having the talk, and when I got off work I expressed my frustrations with her. She basically said that she doesn't feel like I help with Levi 505/50, so I explained to her that there is nothing 50/50 about this relationship, and if I want to relax for a bit when I get home from work then I am gonna do that, don't sit around putting off **** you could have been doing all day just because you feel like I need to be doing more. Had to remind her she doesn't take out the trash, do lawn work, help wash the dog or buy anything for him. She still wasn't trying to hear that, so I let her know if that's how she feel and if she doesn't appreciate me or enjoy living her then she can step.

So she gets mad and starts packing **** up in her car. She then tries to take Levi... and I told her she can't just take my son from his home, and that if she did I would issue an amber alert. In retaliation, she goes outside in her car... about 15 mins or so pass and 2 cops come knocking on my front door... I was upstairs in the loft at the time, so I go downstairs and open the door like can I help you? They say she told them she was trying to leave and I wasn't letting her get her stuff, which was a bold faced lie. I told them what was going on and they made me wait outside while she gathered her things. They told her 5 mins but she ignored them and took like 20, the entire time the pigs wouldn't even let me go into MY house. I made sure to let them know that they better not step foot in my house either as they have no warrant and no reason to enter my house, which they respected. They complimented my house, then started asking me questions like what I did for work, do I get paid commission, ect, etc, basically belittling me like I couldn't afford to live here or something. All the time I have 3 cop cars posted up in front of my house, neighbors taking their kids on walks that they never have before because they are ******* nosey.

I live in a good community and **** like this is not cool at all because I'm sure they thing I beat her *** or something. Whatever, I don't really care, but she did something like this before that resulted in my getting locked up and dealing with going back and forth to court in Colorado from IL. The case finally ended because she didn't show up for the trial because she knows she was a lying POS and that everything she was doing was mostly hurting her and Levi, but apparently this lesson didn't stick with her because she also go me in the same damn situation again.

Anyway, she finally finishes loading up her car, and then she tries to take Levi again. I told to the cops that he is my son, has my last name, my name on the birth certificate, so on and so forth. Even pointed out that fact that I bought the $250 car seat in her car, showed them receipts and everything, so at the very least they could have stopped her from taking him, but they refused to make her return MY property, and then she dipped out with my son for a day and a half and didn't tell me where she was.

Needless to say, I WAS PISSED! The next day I called the police back and made sure I was within my right to change the locks... don't need her coming here when I am off work and robbing me blind, I have too many valuable things in this house. Packed up more of her **** and left that **** outside and let her know that until she told me where Levi was her stuff would be sitting outside in the heat and rain.

Yesterday she finally hit me up and after a while told me where she was... in STL, at her aunt's, which is what I figured, either their of Vegas at her moms. She wants to come back now, but I told her that wasn't happening. Not after calling the police and lying on me AGAIN. Fool me once, shame on me... you know how that goes. It is killing me, but I think it's the right choice, as her *** will only really realize how easy she has it here when she gets to her moms and has to sleep on the couch and two babies, when she had a 3,600 sq ft house with bedrooms for both of our kids. I might let her back after she comes to realize all of this, but I feel like if I let her back now the same **** is just going to continue.

Do you guys think I am in the wrong? Sorry for the wall of text but I been going through it. I don't even want to fight for custody yet because I honestly can't afford to pay a lawyer thousands of dollars when now I am gonna be paying an extra $750 a month that she used to pay, though it won't be as bad once I get these solar panels up. I also know I cannot take care of kids by myself rn because of my work schedule. Once they are old enough to to go school then I am sure I will be able to manage something, but that's another few years that my sons wouldn't be living me with, and traveling to Vegas to see them won't be the easiest thing, but I don't want my kids to "forget" about me or look at me strange because they aren't around me enough. This is probably the hardest decision I have ever made, but I do think it is the right one, all things considered.
 
slaughterx slaughterx

You ain’t wrong man … sounds like your being unappreciated and you just reached your breaking point. I wouldn’t let her back in tho , this will most likely happen again.

Grab custody of your boy. Seems like your in a position to do so. I got custody of my son 7 years ago and his mom basically went to live her life after.

BM drama is so annoying because you want to make it work so keep trying but you gotta know when to cut that **** off …. Your son seeing y’all fight like that will be remembered. I also did 30 in the county behind a NCO violation , don’t get one of them 😂
 
Last edited:
slaughterx said:
So... I am going to be losing my son(s) soon. Well, not really "losing" them exactly, but me and the BM haven't been getting along for the past month... to the point where I had been sleeping in a different bedroom because I just didn't want to be around her constantly negative ***, and honestly I am not even attracted to her anymore.

The issues I have are the fact that I am the breadwinner. She does help with the mortgage... I only charge her $750 a month, but I literally pay double what she does on average once you factor everything in. My damn power bill last month was $670! I saw it coming with the raising Ameren rates, so I already signed the contracts to have solar panels installed in October. $55k! Also got my roof replaced earlier this year... $22k, but luckily my insurance covered it all except for $4k for the deductible and skylights. I didn't ask her for ANYTHING other than the $750 she has been paying since we lived in Colorado. Anyway she was 3 weeks late with the money, which really pissed me off because that's not something you tell someone the day after rents do... after me asking her multiple times.

Luckily I'm always on point, I pay my mortgage and all other bills at least a month in advance, and I still have about $8k in my checking, but to put it in perspective, it was like $14k at the beginning of the year. Long story short this ***** is bleeding me and it is not sustainable at this rate. Part of the reason why the power bill is so damn high is the fact that she and my son are here all day, with the A/C on 72 all (we have vaulted ceiling and an open floor plan so heating and cooling this house has never been cheap, but not only has my power bill doubled compared to last year due to the rate increase on electricity, but the actual use of power is much higher because she stays at home all day with multiple TVs on most of the day... just using more power in general.

I honestly am not even that mad at her about that because it is what it is and I have already taken steps to control that utility (payments on my solar panels are only gonna be $180 a month so that will save me damn near $500 a month in the summer). What pisses me off is that she is literally here in the house all ****ing day and will sit on her *** and do the least amount of work possible around the house. I shouldn't have to come home from work to a dirty house, toys everywhere, dishes in the sink (we have a ****ing dish washer, come on). Then to top it all off, once I get home she acts like her shift is over and now I need to to everything and clean up their messes like I didn't just work a full *** day with a bunch of people I can't stand just so she can live comfortably in this big *** house that SHE wanted and did absolutely nothing to help me get.

So anyway I told her "we need to talK" for the past 3 weeks, and she had been ignoring it, probably because she thought I was gonna break up with her. I finally told her last week we are having the talk, and when I got off work I expressed my frustrations with her. She basically said that she doesn't feel like I help with Levi 505/50, so I explained to her that there is nothing 50/50 about this relationship, and if I want to relax for a bit when I get home from work then I am gonna do that, don't sit around putting off **** you could have been doing all day just because you feel like I need to be doing more. Had to remind her she doesn't take out the trash, do lawn work, help wash the dog or buy anything for him. She still wasn't trying to hear that, so I let her know if that's how she feel and if she doesn't appreciate me or enjoy living her then she can step.

So she gets mad and starts packing **** up in her car. She then tries to take Levi... and I told her she can't just take my son from his home, and that if she did I would issue an amber alert. In retaliation, she goes outside in her car... about 15 mins or so pass and 2 cops come knocking on my front door... I was upstairs in the loft at the time, so I go downstairs and open the door like can I help you? They say she told them she was trying to leave and I wasn't letting her get her stuff, which was a bold faced lie. I told them what was going on and they made me wait outside while she gathered her things. They told her 5 mins but she ignored them and took like 20, the entire time the pigs wouldn't even let me go into MY house. I made sure to let them know that they better not step foot in my house either as they have no warrant and no reason to enter my house, which they respected. They complimented my house, then started asking me questions like what I did for work, do I get paid commission, ect, etc, basically belittling me like I couldn't afford to live here or something. All the time I have 3 cop cars posted up in front of my house, neighbors taking their kids on walks that they never have before because they are ****ing nosey.

I live in a good community and **** like this is not cool at all because I'm sure they thing I beat her *** or something. Whatever, I don't really care, but she did something like this before that resulted in my getting locked up and dealing with going back and forth to court in Colorado from IL. The case finally ended because she didn't show up for the trial because she knows she was a lying POS and that everything she was doing was mostly hurting her and Levi, but apparently this lesson didn't stick with her because she also go me in the same damn situation again.

Anyway, she finally finishes loading up her car, and then she tries to take Levi again. I told to the cops that he is my son, has my last name, my name on the birth certificate, so on and so forth. Even pointed out that fact that I bought the $250 car seat in her car, showed them receipts and everything, so at the very least they could have stopped her from taking him, but they refused to make her return MY property, and then she dipped out with my son for a day and a half and didn't tell me where she was.

Needless to say, I WAS PISSED! The next day I called the police back and made sure I was within my right to change the locks... don't need her coming here when I am off work and robbing me blind, I have too many valuable things in this house. Packed up more of her **** and left that **** outside and let her know that until she told me where Levi was her stuff would be sitting outside in the heat and rain.

Yesterday she finally hit me up and after a while told me where she was... in STL, at her aunt's, which is what I figured, either their of Vegas at her moms. She wants to come back now, but I told her that wasn't happening. Not after calling the police and lying on me AGAIN. Fool me once, shame on me... you know how that goes. It is killing me, but I think it's the right choice, as her *** will only really realize how easy she has it here when she gets to her moms and has to sleep on the couch and two babies, when she had a 3,600 sq ft house with bedrooms for both of our kids. I might let her back after she comes to realize all of this, but I feel like if I let her back now the same **** is just going to continue.

Do you guys think I am in the wrong? Sorry for the wall of text but I been going through it. I don't even want to fight for custody yet because I honestly can't afford to pay a lawye
Click to expand...
slaughterx said:
So... I am going to be losing my son(s) soon. Well, not really "losing" them exactly, but me and the BM haven't been getting along for the past month... to the point where I had been sleeping in a different bedroom because I just didn't want to be around her constantly negative ***, and honestly I am not even attracted to her anymore.

The issues I have are the fact that I am the breadwinner. She does help with the mortgage... I only charge her $750 a month, but I literally pay double what she does on average once you factor everything in. My damn power bill last month was $670! I saw it coming with the raising Ameren rates, so I already signed the contracts to have solar panels installed in October. $55k! Also got my roof replaced earlier this year... $22k, but luckily my insurance covered it all except for $4k for the deductible and skylights. I didn't ask her for ANYTHING other than the $750 she has been paying since we lived in Colorado. Anyway she was 3 weeks late with the money, which really pissed me off because that's not something you tell someone the day after rents do... after me asking her multiple times.

Luckily I'm always on point, I pay my mortgage and all other bills at least a month in advance, and I still have about $8k in my checking, but to put it in perspective, it was like $14k at the beginning of the year. Long story short this ***** is bleeding me and it is not sustainable at this rate. Part of the reason why the power bill is so damn high is the fact that she and my son are here all day, with the A/C on 72 all (we have vaulted ceiling and an open floor plan so heating and cooling this house has never been cheap, but not only has my power bill doubled compared to last year due to the rate increase on electricity, but the actual use of power is much higher because she stays at home all day with multiple TVs on most of the day... just using more power in general.

I honestly am not even that mad at her about that because it is what it is and I have already taken steps to control that utility (payments on my solar panels are only gonna be $180 a month so that will save me damn near $500 a month in the summer). What pisses me off is that she is literally here in the house all ****ing day and will sit on her *** and do the least amount of work possible around the house. I shouldn't have to come home from work to a dirty house, toys everywhere, dishes in the sink (we have a ****ing dish washer, come on). Then to top it all off, once I get home she acts like her shift is over and now I need to to everything and clean up their messes like I didn't just work a full *** day with a bunch of people I can't stand just so she can live comfortably in this big *** house that SHE wanted and did absolutely nothing to help me get.

So anyway I told her "we need to talK" for the past 3 weeks, and she had been ignoring it, probably because she thought I was gonna break up with her. I finally told her last week we are having the talk, and when I got off work I expressed my frustrations with her. She basically said that she doesn't feel like I help with Levi 505/50, so I explained to her that there is nothing 50/50 about this relationship, and if I want to relax for a bit when I get home from work then I am gonna do that, don't sit around putting off **** you could have been doing all day just because you feel like I need to be doing more. Had to remind her she doesn't take out the trash, do lawn work, help wash the dog or buy anything for him. She still wasn't trying to hear that, so I let her know if that's how she feel and if she doesn't appreciate me or enjoy living her then she can step.

So she gets mad and starts packing **** up in her car. She then tries to take Levi... and I told her she can't just take my son from his home, and that if she did I would issue an amber alert. In retaliation, she goes outside in her car... about 15 mins or so pass and 2 cops come knocking on my front door... I was upstairs in the loft at the time, so I go downstairs and open the door like can I help you? They say she told them she was trying to leave and I wasn't letting her get her stuff, which was a bold faced lie. I told them what was going on and they made me wait outside while she gathered her things. They told her 5 mins but she ignored them and took like 20, the entire time the pigs wouldn't even let me go into MY house. I made sure to let them know that they better not step foot in my house either as they have no warrant and no reason to enter my house, which they respected. They complimented my house, then started asking me questions like what I did for work, do I get paid commission, ect, etc, basically belittling me like I couldn't afford to live here or something. All the time I have 3 cop cars posted up in front of my house, neighbors taking their kids on walks that they never have before because they are ****ing nosey.

I live in a good community and **** like this is not cool at all because I'm sure they thing I beat her *** or something. Whatever, I don't really care, but she did something like this before that resulted in my getting locked up and dealing with going back and forth to court in Colorado from IL. The case finally ended because she didn't show up for the trial because she knows she was a lying POS and that everything she was doing was mostly hurting her and Levi, but apparently this lesson didn't stick with her because she also go me in the same damn situation again.

Anyway, she finally finishes loading up her car, and then she tries to take Levi again. I told to the cops that he is my son, has my last name, my name on the birth certificate, so on and so forth. Even pointed out that fact that I bought the $250 car seat in her car, showed them receipts and everything, so at the very least they could have stopped her from taking him, but they refused to make her return MY property, and then she dipped out with my son for a day and a half and didn't tell me where she was.

Needless to say, I WAS PISSED! The next day I called the police back and made sure I was within my right to change the locks... don't need her coming here when I am off work and robbing me blind, I have too many valuable things in this house. Packed up more of her **** and left that **** outside and let her know that until she told me where Levi was her stuff would be sitting outside in the heat and rain.

Yesterday she finally hit me up and after a while told me where she was... in STL, at her aunt's, which is what I figured, either their of Vegas at her moms. She wants to come back now, but I told her that wasn't happening. Not after calling the police and lying on me AGAIN. Fool me once, shame on me... you know how that goes. It is killing me, but I think it's the right choice, as her *** will only really realize how easy she has it here when she gets to her moms and has to sleep on the couch and two babies, when she had a 3,600 sq ft house with bedrooms for both of our kids. I might let her back after she comes to realize all of this, but I feel like if I let her back now the same **** is just going to continue.

Do you guys think I am in the wrong? Sorry for the wall of text but I been going through it. I don't even want to fight for custody yet because I honestly can't afford to pay a lawyer thousands of dollars when now I am gonna be paying an extra $750 a month that she used to pay, though it won't be as bad once I get these solar panels up. I also know I cannot take care of kids by myself rn because of my work schedule. Once they are old enough to to go school then I am sure I will be able to manage something, but that's another few years that my sons wouldn't be living me with, and traveling to Vegas to see them won't be the easiest thing, but I don't want my kids to "forget" about me or look at me strange because they aren't around me enough. This is probably the hardest decision I have ever made, but I do think it is the right one, all things considered.
Click to expand...
Well to he honest with you there is always two sides to one story, did you ever let her know while staying there that you aren’t attracted to her? Did you maybe think if she is pregnant (just assuming since you said son(s) did you put into consideration that she may be too tired to do housework or too sick on some days? Did you ever discuss a chore plan between you both that would essentially be fair for the both of you to avoid unnecessary altercation? because I hear a lot of men say on the internet that they have to work and they have a spouse that stays at home with the kids and expect most if not all of the house duties to be done such as taking care of the kids, keeping the house clean or even bringing/cooking meals most of the time because she stays home but never really consider that those jobs that they expect the mothers to do while they’re at home is also something that you should also consider doing yourself, did you ever think maybe she hadn’t gotten to it today because she’s possibly over stimulated? It sounds like you’ve had a problem with her for a while and you’ve just been tolerating her for the sake of your son which maybe she had a feeling that was happening and had been negative because of it? It sounds like there was a lot of miscommunication between you both which is resulting in arguments AND unnecessary police calls, maybe you both should have considered talking to each other more and actually trying to hear both sides and understanding each other more, it really seems like you’re both dealing with each other because of your kids which obviously isn’t healthy.
 
I don’t know anything about custody, but is she allowed to just take your son out of the area like that without an agreement in place? If you did that you’d likely get hit with kidnapping/endangerment charges.
 
Blake P said:
I don’t know anything about custody, but is she allowed to just take your son out of the area like that without an agreement in place? If you did that you’d likely get hit with kidnapping/endangerment charges.
Click to expand...

In Michigan, until a custody order is in place, the cops can’t do ish unfortunately.
 
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