jayt1202
,
MajinZuub
,
DeadsetAce
,
Master Zik
C
CP1708
, look, bro, I've now finished 5 of what? 9? 10? 73?
Dude this isn't a good franchise. I feel like you reading that is similar to when crackheads are crying in the arms of a family member who is telling them 'You've gotta let it go!' or a teenager going through a disappointing heartbreak while their parent tells them 'You're too young to be this tore up!' But they continue to hold on, because of desperation and familiarity, not because of a quality need being met.
I feel like that's where you're at with this franchise.
By your comments I've seen, it seems that you've been highly anticipating me coming through like "Oh yeah, these are absolutely amazing! I was so wrong! How did none of these films win an Oscar?!" That's not happening.
OK, let's dive in...
1st one: As my son put it and I totally agree, 'Grrrrr! Angry car guy race angry car guy! I'm mad!'
2nd one: We get Paul Walker on his own. I don't know, decent ish, but very forgettable.
3: We begin the movie with a 42-year-old playing a HS senior racing some fake redneck through a developing housing community, just CRASHING through homes like they're made of toothpicks.
P4: Letty dies and Dom is pissed.
Now we've got The Rock...
Ok, let's stop there. When THE ROCK is inserted into a franchise and the franchise THEN becomes a little more realistic, it wasn't at a good place to begin with. Have you seen San Andreas? Rampage? The newest Jumanji? Dude is COMPLETELY over the top. He's not a GOOD actor; he's a BIG actor, literally and figuratively. It's got to be just a matter of time until him and Michael Bay link up for the ultimate blockbuster.
For me, the best acting in the whole thing so far is Gal Gadot, and she only had small parts in 4 and a more major role in 5. I don't know her role moving forward, but I know she's damn near carrying the 'extras' (everyone outside Dom, Brian, and Mia).
So let me go back to The Rock, who steps out of an apparently custom made vehicle that is not only bullet proof but MISSILE PROOF, and what does he do when he steps out? Oh he just picks off I think I counted 7 consecutive guerillas on rooftops, people that have been committing murder for the boss man their whole adult lives, and he just steps out of his homemade missle-proof Hummer tank and pew, pew, pew. All gone. And he doesn't even take a bullet! It's AMAZING! Not one. And they all had automatic rifles with the shooting ability of our beloved Storm Troopers.
And then he JOINS Toretto in the next scene. Straight up, cut to the chase, the LEADING MAN for THEEEEEEEE tip-top government special ops 'manhunt' squad in the country... just... *poof*... teams up with him. The quarterback for one of the most elite, secret government teams in the country, and a fugitive. "I'm in." No pitch from Toretto. No working out the details of Toretto being a fugitive who was at the time wanted for the murders of some of Hobbs' boys back on the train at the beginning of this SUPER realistic movie. Nope, no dialogue other than 2 words: "I'm in."
Oh, and Toretto? What's he up to? When Hobbs said he was 'in', what is getting himself 'in'? Oh Toretto is with Brian pulling a BANK VAULT... from a POLICE STATION... with a couple DODGE CHARGERS.
And as they careen through downtown with the vault in tow... FROM A STEEL CABLE... just swinging through kiosks and fire hydrants and a WHOLE BANK like everything is everything, then what's next? OH LOOK, it's 2 of the 4 police cars they stole...
"... wait... back up, Ska. Stole? Police cars?"
Oh yeah. Super easy, too. Just snuck in there in the middle of the night, picked which ones they wanted like some game show contestants picking their final prize, and just casually raced them back to th...
"... Ska, raced them back? Don't you mean just drove them? Surely they weren't rac..."
... no, I said what I said. Racing. Stolen cop cars. They got some stolen pig wagons and they're playing "8 Seconds or Less" through a couple downtown stoplights.
Buuuuuuuut I should have expected this sort of surrealism from a movie that STARTED with 2 guys being catapulted off a cliff into the water down below... unscathed. No broken bones. No concussion. Nope, all good. Look, from a franchise that has already showed me that a car can LAUNCH OFF OF A PIER... onto a MOVING BOAT... and drifting down a mountainside is so easy you can talk to your new friend in the passenger side about your abusive boyfriend and your childhood, this is exactly what I should I expect.
And it's exactly what I do expect moving forward for 6 & 7, and I'll find 8 & 9 for cheap, and I'll watch 10 if there is one, and 11, and 54, whatever. But it's not because they're super good and I just can't get enough, my fellow Star Wars loving friend. It's because I had a feeling my 15-year-old son would like them and I like doing anything he likes. And I was right, he loves them (except 3, which he actually still enjoyed while I thought it was right behind Scott Pilgrim and Ace Ventura for GOAT comedy).
My son is eating these up... but he's 15.
And my point here isn't to try to dissuade you from liking F&F. Different strokes.
Now, you can think that I've only been watching these in order to trash them with the ability to say 'Oh, I've actually seen them. You can't say 'Don't knock it if you haven't seen it,' because now I have.' I wouldn't waste what has already been essentially 10 hours just to be able to say that. Or you could say that I didn't go in with it open mind but again, I wouldn't waste my time.
Thie is a superhero franchise where the superheros are cars and the plot lines are made up as they go. "Everything's made up and the points don't matter."
-foe