Please help me NT..Mother is a stroke victim for over 10 years now, with no help.

I am stationed in Korea. Im trying to get stationed back in the states so I can have her move in with me, but I wont be leaving here for at least 5 more months.
 
Sounds like she had a pretty bad stroke. My father has had 3 in his lifetime. We are lucky enough that he has access to good medical and while not 100% he can get around and drive and handle his work still.

But there will be a time when he won’t be able to do those things anymore and my wife and I are taking my parents in at that point.

Is there a way you can move back and be with her or bring her where you live?

Everyone I know tells me it’s good how much time I’m able to spend with my parents and to appreciate it. My grandfather died after a severe stroke. Spend time with loved ones, especially those that are family because life is fleeting and time runs out when you don’t expect it to.
 
So where is she now? I’m sorry for all this, I know at the moment it’s out of your control so that sucks and I feel for you
 
She lost her ID. Doesnt have a passport. So no she cant come out here, even if she did I would be paying out of pocket for her to live here.

She said shes been sleeping in a casino.
 
Your sister abd your father aare both scumbag.

You better be calling all homeless shelters ASAP here in MD. You should've never joined the military to begin with.
 
Google

"Emergency shelter Maryland" and you'll see a lot of options
 
Tell her to go to a Women's shelter. They have Social workers there that'll help get her ID, get her on disability and an affordable place to live.
 
How old is she? Have her apply for Medicaid if she doesn't have it already. She can get a home attendant by having her doctor fill out an M11Q form. They changed the program which makes it possible for a relative to take care of her and get paid for doing so, only restriction is the relative can't be living in the same home. Get a legal aid pro bono who can assist her with applying for SSI/SSD.
 
serotonins said:
She is 57 yrs old. I was young at the time the stroke happened, I didn't know much the medical effects about a stroke until I got older. Being young, I still don't have the money to support two people. Well now, I will be able to support her and I, but can you imagine being a 24 year old that has to take care of their own mother for the rest of her and my life? If she does live with me, I'll barely be able to save any money. Like I said before, I feel like I am obligated to since I am running into all these conflicts. If I was a millionaire this wouldn't be such an issue...

Nursing home, never even thought about that.
Click to expand...


Is your mother bro, you do what you must, she raised you and your sister as a single mother, You gotta be there for her now that she needs you, both you and your sister...having her in some fandoms basement while disabled all alone, reflects terribly on you.
 
serotonins said:
it is very sad, I wish I was making this up. I will move her in with me and take care of her as soon as I move to Japan. Screw it I have no other choice. She is depressed and anxious all the time. I hope she doesnt pass away before I can move her in man..
Click to expand...

I’ll share my story, since I can relate on some level to you, my moms fell into depression about 1.5 yeas ago, after being the strongest most independent person I’ve known, her body and mind gave out, in part due to me no longer being around as much as I could...she never remarried and I’m her only child...on top of that she was dealing with undiagnosed Parkinson’s for years that Doctors kept on confusing with her Myasthenia diagnosis...it wasn’t till she fell into depression that I grasp what a ****** don I had been, I allowed the person I owe my life to, to lose herself....she became violent at times, confused, wouldn’t move, she literally stopped being herself and I never felt more ashamed, in the end I placed her in a rehab center against her will, luckily she had Medicaid (she’s always been the type to have her things in order, so I lucked out with that) she ended up in a nursing home for about 2 months where they diagnosed her Parkinson’s and began treating it appropriately, little by little and most important with me by her side, I recovered her and she’s now home, she’ll
Never be 100% herself again, but at least she’s no longer depressed, I learned my lesson and now I don’t go a single day without calling her, I visit her every chance I get, I don’t miss a single appointment, she has her own place but if it came to it, I WOULD MOVE HER WITH ME...I don’t fully fault you fam, we can be selfish towards our parents, but when she’s no longer around, the way you treated her when she was alive will haunt you...I guarantee you what will help her most is to not feel abondoned, to not feel alone....depression and anxiety is far more incapacitating than her physical issues and that **** will kill her, trust me, I went through the ringer trying to pull mines from out of her depression.
 
Around the area. She said shes done helping, doesnt even want to talk or see her
 
serotonins said:
Around the area. She said shes done helping, doesnt even want to talk or see her
Click to expand...

Wow....dawg...I legit hope her own kids one day teach her a lesson....as far as you goes, being stationed away I understand the difficulty of the situation, there has to be some sort of assistance or counselor on base you can explain your situation to, take a month off to come back home and set your mom up, go back and finish your time but at least your mom won’t be half paralyzed sleeping in casinos, That **** is unacceptable and unforgivable, when you do come home, you need to give your sister a piece of your mind tho.
 
ksteezy said:
I’ll share my story, since I can relate on some level to you, my moms fell into depression about 1.5 yeas ago, after being the strongest most independent person I’ve known, her body and mind gave out, in part due to me no longer being around as much as I could...she never remarried and I’m her only child...on top of that she was dealing with undiagnosed Parkinson’s for years that Doctors kept on confusing with her Myasthenia diagnosis...it wasn’t till she fell into depression that I grasp what a ****** don I had been, I allowed the person I owe my life to, to lose herself....she became violent at times, confused, wouldn’t move, she literally stopped being herself and I never felt more ashamed, in the end I placed her in a rehab center against her will, luckily she had Medicaid (she’s always been the type to have her things in order, so I lucked out with that) she ended up in a nursing home for about 2 months where they diagnosed her Parkinson’s and began treating it appropriately, little by little and most important with me by her side, I recovered her and she’s now home, she’ll
Never be 100% herself again, but at least she’s no longer depressed, I learned my lesson and now I don’t go a single day without calling her, I visit her every chance I get, I don’t miss a single appointment, she has her own place but if it came to it, I WOULD MOVE HER WITH ME...I don’t fully fault you fam, we can be selfish towards our parents, but when she’s no longer around, the way you treated her when she was alive will haunt you...I guarantee you what will help her most is to not feel abondoned, to not feel alone....depression and anxiety is far more incapacitating than her physical issues and that **** will kill her, trust me, I went through the ringer trying to pull mines from out of her depression.
Click to expand...
repped
i damn near teared up
 
serotonins said:
Around the area. She said shes done helping, doesnt even want to talk or see her
Click to expand...
Yo, what the hell is wrong with your sister and father? Whatever issues they have with her, she’s still family and it’s heartless for them to not at least make sure she has a place to sleep.
 
Last edited:
So since i’ve last posted in here my question to you is what have YOU done to help your moms?

Besides state that other people besides yourself dont want to help her anymore.
 
Find your local council member, do this and that, there's a few options that we can brainstorm.... NOW... you won't be here for another 3 years??

No one here can help you unless they know the whole story, & public forum probably ain't the best spot for that.

But thats your moms, you GOTS to know that she BELIEVES that you have a plan.. give her a reason... also what language does she speak? Get her a home attendant that speaks her language and she can develop other relationships, and have her try therapy of any kind.You just said she don't speak English.. again we need more info.. but good luck pops.
 
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