Post real stories nobody will ever believe.

[stringer bell 32]

I usually rub my balls when I watch TV

 

[knightlovesqueen]

It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of my girls I know, Jessica. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to have sex. So be it.I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferraris have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my crotch. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my crotch. Booya.
Flash forward 10 minutes later.
My 30 inch crotch is going inside of her box, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm having sex with her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I finally finished. There had to have been about two pints of my men everywhere. People say I shoot like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.
I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.

Cue rock clapping gif

 

[bluedeniro]

21
in dallas
hotels
strip clubs
stripper steals drug dealer boyfriend mazi
picks us up
after a ******ed argrument we race a impala vs the quad
the quad wins
back to the hotel
sex orgy with big booty stripper ratchets
wake up

........ no one believes thats what we did last night.

YOLO

 

[Ofc.Phan]

So i was sitting there in my philosophy class trying to crack my back in my chair, and this hot girl saw me. I am talking really, really hot. I kind of had a thing for her for a couple of months, and we smiled at each other and stuff but she sat pretty far away so we didn't say much more than "hi".

Anyway she saw me doing that and it was before class actually started so we could move around and stuff, so she came up and offered to crack my back for me, and i thought it was kind of weird, but i accepted. So, I stand up and she crosses my arms in front of me and she stands right behind me and sort of picks me up onto her and bounces me (have you ever seen people crack backs this way? i have seen it, but it is weird to explain) anyway, it wasn't working, so she tried a huge bounce.

Something popped really loudly, but then when she set me down i couldn't feel my legs it was like they were totally asleep. So I collapsed in a heap on the ground, my legs going off in weird directions. then i heard a loud farting noise and proceeded to diarrhea in my pants, i was so embarrassed and i looked up at her face and she was just disgusted and everybody was like what the hell is going on.

So i tried to get up and run away, but my legs didn't work. I couldn't move, and over the next thirty seconds or so my colon emptied really loudly. My teacher was mad and thought i was just being a freak ****ting on the floor, but after a while they realized i wasn't kidding around and they called an ambulance so i went to the hospital, and it turns out when she cracked my back somehow my spinal cord got pinched in between my vertebrae and they straightened it out with some emergency surgery.

Now i'm completely fine so...i never went back to that school

 

[retro330h]

I dont have 1. But i witnessed my friend steal a car drunk at a party, leave for about 40 minutes come back and try to park it like nothing happened. Hit a parked mustang and the mustang crashed through a garage and ran a dude over. My friend got away with no trouble, worst part is he left his book bag with school papers with his name on them in the whip 

 

[mmg]

So i was sitting there in my philosophy class trying to crack my back in my chair, and this hot girl saw me. I am talking really, really hot. I kind of had a thing for her for a couple of months, and we smiled at each other and stuff but she sat pretty far away so we didn't say much more than "hi".
Anyway she saw me doing that and it was before class actually started so we could move around and stuff, so she came up and offered to crack my back for me, and i thought it was kind of weird, but i accepted. So, I stand up and she crosses my arms in front of me and she stands right behind me and sort of picks me up onto her and bounces me (have you ever seen people crack backs this way? i have seen it, but it is weird to explain) anyway, it wasn't working, so she tried a huge bounce.
Something popped really loudly, but then when she set me down i couldn't feel my legs it was like they were totally asleep. So I collapsed in a heap on the ground, my legs going off in weird directions. then i heard a loud farting noise and proceeded to diarrhea in my pants, i was so embarrassed and i looked up at her face and she was just disgusted and everybody was like what the hell is going on.
So i tried to get up and run away, but my legs didn't work. I couldn't move, and over the next thirty seconds or so my colon emptied really loudly. My teacher was mad and thought i was just being a freak ****ting on the floor, but after a while they realized i wasn't kidding around and they called an ambulance so i went to the hospital, and it turns out when she cracked my back somehow my spinal cord got pinched in between my vertebrae and they straightened it out with some emergency surgery.
Now i'm completely fine so...i never went back to that school

 

[born illa]

It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of my girls I know, Jessica. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to have sex. So be it.I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferraris have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my crotch. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my crotch. Booya.
Flash forward 10 minutes later.
My 30 inch crotch is going inside of her box, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm having sex with her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I finally finished. There had to have been about two pints of my men everywhere. People say I shoot like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.
I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.

Bravo

 

[nineteen92]

It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of my girls I know, Jessica. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to have sex. So be it.I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferraris have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my crotch. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my crotch. Booya.
Flash forward 10 minutes later.
My 30 inch crotch is going inside of her box, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm having sex with her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I finally finished. There had to have been about two pints of my men everywhere. People say I shoot like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.
I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.

 

[swooshallday]

-When I was little, I woke up from a bad dream and I swear on everything, a dragon came out of my sock drawer, spit fire and the flames lit the room up. I could see everything. I got up quicker than I ever remember moving and ran to my parents room I didn't even tell them what happened. I just went there and stayed.
- Saw a dookie in the toilet one time in high school. Joint looked like 6" wheat bread from Subway. Swear. **** was huge.

^First story: you're asian right? lol. "Lien" = chinese name. i guess only asians will believe you. it's a culture thing. if you tell other asians stories like that, majority of the time they believe it, but when it's a different race they just look at you all weird. right ATLien?

 

[taymane23]

One time I was getting ready for bed and I cut the light off and laid down. As I'm watching tv my light just flicks on out of nowhere. I didn't **** myself but I was having a wtf type moment. I think I just left the light on that night, and I still don't know what the hell was going on maybe I didn't cut the light off all the way.

 

[puglife]

Lol:x

it's late at night, but i am literally dying over here

 

[voidemperor]

i got to take a nap, no ones home. I can see myself sleeping and then i move into the hallway and just wait there until my mom comes in through the front door and starts walking towards my room. Thats when i wake up from my nap and ask my mom what she got from the store. **** was weird.

 

[teamjordan79]

please share your story about astral projection. I've been fascinated with this for years.

This one still gets me shook whenever I tell someone ,I rarely tell anyone becuz they always look at u like ur crazy,or say I was dreaming.but anyywayy since I was young and Alittle bit now that I'm older I suffered from sleep paralysis,which is when ur body is sleep but ur eyes are open,u can't talk or move,it usually last for about 5 min,but on this night after I was ,I was laying in bed dosed off and the sleep paralysis happens which I'm used to,so I said I'll just let it pass,but it wasnt passing,about 20 min went by and I'm stuck and start to panic,I'm trying desperately with all my strength to get up ,after a few more minutes I finally lift myself up,now I'm relieved but something isn't right everything is foggy and I feel dreary,can't really explain the feelin ,so I get up outta bed to get a drink cuz now,but it feels like I'm floating as I get to my door the put the light on,as in turning the handle something tells me to look back,so I look back and see my body still laying in bed,idk if it was the shock or what but I was immediately transferred back inside my body and then I pop up,i was super shook more scared then ever in my life ,my minds racing idk what to do,i wake up everybody and tell them what happened noone believes me ,I tell friends and a few others some believe some don't,but I looked it up online and it pretty much described what happened to me and said its not a dream and it doesn't happen To people .ive never experienced it again yet,but that was toooo crazy.And 1000% true.

It was a dream.

word sounds like unintentional astral projection

 

[waitwut]

See Nomad's thread for an example.

this

except that it aint real

please share your story about astral projection. I've been fascinated with this for years.

This one still gets me shook whenever I tell someone ,I rarely tell anyone becuz they always look at u like ur crazy,or say I was dreaming.but anyywayy since I was young and Alittle bit now that I'm older I suffered from sleep paralysis,which is when ur body is sleep but ur eyes are open,u can't talk or move,it usually last for about 5 min,but on this night after I was ,I was laying in bed dosed off and the sleep paralysis happens which I'm used to,so I said I'll just let it pass,but it wasnt passing,about 20 min went by and I'm stuck and start to panic,I'm trying desperately with all my strength to get up ,after a few more minutes I finally lift myself up,now I'm relieved but something isn't right everything is foggy and I feel dreary,can't really explain the feelin ,so I get up outta bed to get a drink cuz now,but it feels like I'm floating as I get to my door the put the light on,as in turning the handle something tells me to look back,so I look back and see my body still laying in bed,idk if it was the shock or what but I was immediately transferred back inside my body and then I pop up,i was super shook more scared then ever in my life ,my minds racing idk what to do,i wake up everybody and tell them what happened noone believes me ,I tell friends and a few others some believe some don't,but I looked it up online and it pretty much described what happened to me and said its not a dream and it doesn't happen To people .ive never experienced it again yet,but that was toooo crazy.And 1000% true.

It was a dream.

sounds like unintentional astral projection

astral projection is fake though

 

[atlien seeko]

2 weeks ago i was sitting on my couch...im the only one home and i put my car keys on the coffee table...i get on here for like 20 min, then get up and im ready to leave. I look for my keys cant find them (reminder i have not moved or touched them) walk out of the room come back and they are sitting on my couch somehow?

 

[atlien seeko]

^First story: you're asian right? lol. "Lien" = chinese name. i guess only asians will believe you. it's a culture thing. if you tell other asians stories like that, majority of the time they believe it, but when it's a different race they just look at you all weird. right ATLien?

I'm black

 

[teamjordan79]

2 weeks ago i was sitting on my couch...im the only one home and i put my car keys on the coffee table...i get on here for like 20 min, then get up and im ready to leave. I look for my keys cant find them (reminder i have not moved or touched them) walk out of the room come back and they are sitting on my couch somehow?

something similar....

im on the bus and so this one dude gets off at the stop. I pay no mind and keep staring out the window. Then we ride on, and after about 2 minutes, i see the same guy at the next stop on the corner. Keep in mind that he could not have outran the bus, hitched a ride (b/c no other cars passed us), its like he teleported from the previous stop and wound up ahead of the bus. im 98% sure it was the same guy and it felt so weird, matrix-like...i don't even....

 

[michigan]

This one still gets me shook whenever I tell someone ,I rarely tell anyone becuz they always look at u like ur crazy,or say I was dreaming.but anyywayy since I was young and Alittle bit now that I'm older I suffered from sleep paralysis,which is when ur body is sleep but ur eyes are open,u can't talk or move,it usually last for about 5 min,but on this night after I was

,I was laying in bed dosed off and the sleep paralysis happens which I'm used to,so I said I'll just let it pass,but it wasnt passing,about 20 min went by and I'm stuck and start to panic,I'm trying desperately with all my strength to get up ,after a few more minutes I finally lift myself up,now I'm relieved but something isn't right everything is foggy and I feel dreary,can't really explain the feelin ,so I get up outta bed to get a drink cuz now,but it feels like I'm floating as I get to my door the put the light on,as in turning the handle something tells me to look back,so I look back and see my body still laying in bed,idk if it was the shock or what but I was immediately transferred back inside my body and then I pop up,i was super shook more scared then ever in my life ,my minds racing idk what to do,i wake up everybody and tell them what happened noone believes me ,I tell friends and a few others some believe some don't,but I looked it up online and it pretty much described what happened to me and said its not a dream and it doesn't happen To people .ive never experienced it again yet,but that was toooo crazy.And 1000% true.

I suffer from sleep paralysis too.  Its scary as hell when it happens.   i believe you. Ive had some tripped out things happen when i have sleep paralysis.  One time i woke up stuck and I saw my homeboy i was staying with at the time and he had a weird look on his face and i was trying to yell for him to come and help me and when he came over and touched me i instantly snapped out of it but it was pitch dark in the room and he wasnt there.   It tripped me the F out I couldnt go back to sleep it was like 3 in the morning and i just stayed up and watched tv for the rest of the night.

 

[yeold360s]

-When I was little, I woke up from a bad dream and I swear on everything, a dragon came out of my sock drawer, spit fire and the flames lit the room up. I could see everything. I got up quicker than I ever remember moving and ran to my parents room

I didn't even tell them what happened. I just went there and stayed.

- Saw a dookie in the toilet one time in high school. Joint looked like 6" wheat bread from Subway. Swear. **** was huge.

^First story: you're asian right? lol. "Lien" = chinese name. i guess only asians will believe you. it's a culture thing. if you tell other asians stories like that, majority of the time they believe it, but when it's a different race they just look at you all weird. right ATLien?

 Dudes reply was funnier than the story

 

[BaltimoreLove]

I was driving late one night with a couple of my home boys.  It was about 2 in the morning and we were the only ones driving down the street.  All of a sudden a dog ran out in front of us and I thought I ran the dog over.  This is were it gets crazy.   There was no dog.  Yet All 3 of us saw a dog run out in front of us and I hit my brakes hard and right when my car hit the dog it was gone.   True story and we weren't drunk or high. LMAO   We talked about it to everyone we knew for a couple weeks but no one believed us.  Sounds crazy I know but it happened. 

lts clearly al1ens...

 

[jd214]

It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of my girls I know, Jessica. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to have sex. So be it.I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferraris have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my crotch. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my crotch. Booya.
Flash forward 10 minutes later.

My 30 inch crotch is going inside of her box, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm having sex with her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I finally finished. There had to have been about two pints of my men everywhere. People say I shoot like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.
I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.

Oh.

 

[norcalhussla]

-be drunk x high from bbq and picking up some krispy kreme
-on way home drive thru woody area where kkk use to hang blacks
- car in front of us slowly stops. No stop sign
- 3:10am cold November see white mist around other car
- see lower half of a shadow man walk behind other car
- shadow man disapeers. Other car dips. We quickly follow.
- driver says "did u see that?" Me:"._. Yep"
-mind=blown.

 

[qtnettles]

Driving home in the snow, car starts spinning out of control. I do two full 360's on the highway into the grass. Then i gain my composure and drive home calmly.

I'm at the grocery store with some friends plotting to steal some condoms. Some assistant manager superhero somehow hears us laughing and looking both ways and says that was suspicious. Begins following me around, with fore-mentioned condoms in my pocket i peeped him following me and threw them in the back of the paper towel rack. He then approaches me and says " you think I'm following you? It because I am following you" then walks off. I tell my mom, he has the police waiting for me and my friends at the exit. They search me find nothing, I take him to where i put them at, police start apologizing, looking back on it, I should have sued.

 

[dayman]

Driving home in the snow, car starts spinning out of control. I do two full 360's on the highway into the grass. Then i gain my composure and drive home calmly.

I'm at the grocery store with some friends plotting to steal some condoms. Some assistant manager superhero somehow hears us laughing and looking both ways and says that was suspicious. Begins following me around, with fore-mentioned condoms in my pocket i peeped him following me and threw them in the back of the paper towel rack. He then approaches me and says " you think I'm following you? It because I am following you" then walks off. I tell my mom, he has the police waiting for me and my friends at the exit. They search me find nothing, I take him to where i put them at, police start apologizing, looking back on it, I should have sued.

sue for what? even if u win, u will only win 25 cents.

 

[va757va]

i done shot dice with larry bird in barcelona..

surprisingly larry legends game of preference is cee lo..2 red one green...

hit him wit trips back to back, head cracked the thrid role...larry bird left.,..he was heated..

nd i was in barcelona with larrys money...

[jeezy voice] WIN....WIN WIN...WIN WIN..[jeezy voice]