Post your most embarrassing sexual encounters Vol. 2012

[soversotowel]

Originally Posted by DajonDondo

Keep the stories coming...

  

 

[41239]

Originally Posted by DajonDondo

Keep the stories coming...

lmao, clownin

 

[finnns2003]

Originally Posted by DajonDondo

Keep the stories coming...

 

[beast4ya]

Originally Posted by JayzOnMyToes

Originally Posted by bwood056

Originally Posted by KillTheHype

On new years I went to some guys house with my best friend and her cousin (the guy who's house he went to was god-cousin or something with my best friends cousin).

Well anyways, we got really drunk, he was ugly, I passed out, we had sex, in the morning he tried to wake me up for more and I said I was a lesbian thinking I didn't have sex with him already. I kept going at it and going at it until I saw the condom on the floor. I felt so stupid. I can't believe I did that. I hope the sex was at least good.

Oh yeah, and when I looked in the other direction, on the floor was my cousins best friend sleeping. He heard everything. Including my best friend who had sex with the other guy who lived with them in the living room. She was on her period -_________________-

this wasnt in tampa was it ?????

Tampa tho

 

[Peep Game]

Originally Posted by DIOR PAINT

Originally Posted by Af1 Jordan collecterz

I was vacationing in El Salvador last summer with my cousin & a couple of his hoodlum friends at a pent house, having a couple drinks.
So since my cousin knew the ropes around the joint he asks this thick dark haired broad how much she charged, she was like "I only do private dances".
Since it was my birthday my cousin offered to pay for the %!$$%% services & offered 2x the amount...
Anyways once me & her get into the room we start undressing & talking and she puts the glove on me & she start lubricating it.
So then she start giving me head & she want me to 69 with her I'm like NAAAAHH! at first so then she just decides to stand up on the bed & sits on my face giving me head, so then as her ****Y gets closer i smell a nasty sensation of fish Im like oh hell No!! But then again my cuzzo paid for her so i just proceed with the smashin of a stinky vagina. My face was

but luckily 30 minutes is how long i lasted & had shawty moaning the whole time as she is on top. Smelliest vagina I've ever smashed..

 

 

[xbiker47]

that power bomb story

 

[mrkittles20]

Ok, so when I was younger my best friends house was a haven for girls and drugs. Their mom started dating some dude and lived with him, so she only came through once every other week to drop off groceries. Anyway, the eldest brother had a best friend that was the county supplier for all things illegal, so there would be these crazy !@# parties there every night.
So I'm like 14 and had just recently started to get down and didn't really know much beyond what I had heard and what little I did.
So me and this town %%@%! go into a bedroom in the basement where the party is going on and I'm hitting it from the back.
She had a really nice bottom, so I had it palmed and pushed apart as I'm doing the young buck jack rabbit.
I'm going way too fast and my D comes out and she simultaneously queefs on me REALLY loud.
(*At this time I should side bar and say that I had always had a deep seeded fear of female bodily functions and thought that periods and farts/poops from a girl was about the most disgraceful thing God ever did).
So I make this terrified face and my whole body got stiff and, without realizing what I'm doing, proceed to do a super fast slap/jab to the back of her head. She wasn't ready for it, so she jumps forward and hits the wall with her head/neck at a weird angle and falls off the bed and her back/shoulder hit the edge of the nightstand and she starts making these weird gurgle/scream/groan noises and her eyes are sluggishly darting all over the place.
I'm just a drunk/high 14 year old that doesn't know a damn thing about a damn thing, so I think I paralyzed this girl. I look around assessing the situation and did the only thing I could think to do, which was run buck naked out the house and into the woods and I ran back to my house through the woods (It was like 1/8 of a mile shortcut through the woods of the neighborhood to my house).
I get home and sneak in through my window and get into the bathroom to take a shower and kind of just want to fall down and cry because I thought I was gonna be going to jail any minute. I look down and the condom in just kind of half dangling from my junk and I take it off and finish up.
I was so worried about going to jail that I got dressed, went back out of my window and slept in the back up my parents pick up truck that had a cap on the bed of it.
Woke up the next morning and went back to my friends house and they just laughed at me and told me that everyone there just laughed at me for a few minutes and then a bunch of grimey dudes went in the room and half the neighborhood ran a train on this girl.

 

[bwood056]

Originally Posted by Beast4ya

Originally Posted by JayzOnMyToes

Originally Posted by bwood056



this wasnt in tampa was it ?????

Tampa tho

im still waiting tho man ........






cause this same thing happened to me and my boy...


me with the peroid chick...


day before new years eve tho..

  

 

[lebronics]

This thread is too funny, cue chinese guy biting apple gif.

 

[sreggie101]

Originally Posted by Stay Lurkin

Originally Posted by Tero

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

Nktran001 wrote:

---

Ol' girl only allowed me to anal and never took her jeans off all the way.



So one night, I just pulled her jeans all the way down and snatch the panties off.. come to find out...........

wait....what? im thinking of something but im not sure im accurate in thinking what is being implied...

 

[ravagebx]

I got a pretty good story I don't think I ever told lol. Back in like 04-05 I was in Puerto Rico for Spring Break with about a half dozen of my homies from school. We were out there for a week wildin every day and night. Alcohol, beach and whatever women we could get our hands on. After a weeks worth of debauchery we were all pretty much yolo'd out. Saturday rolls around and we're just taking it easy trying to recover because we have a 630am flight back to the states Sunday morning. We in the neighborhood near our hotel in San Juan when we bump into this one BAD brownskin PR bitty that don't speak a lick of english. My spanish is pretty good but not fully conversational. Luckily we had another shorty with us we had met that was bi-lingual who could translate. The bad shorty was really feeling my homeboy. She thought he looked like Chris Tucker

So this chick is showing him mad love. We agree to meet her when she gets off work and hang out. We meet her later that day and she has her homegirl with her. This anorexic gargamel in the face looking girl

I'm talkin 5ft 9in, 60lbs of ugly. Obviously no cake or !#!+ to speak of. The friend was obviously trying to come up on one of us and it was just my luck that she chose me. I'm looking at my homie like

and he's lookin at me like you know what you gotta do

So we all decide we're gonna go to the club that night. We leave the chicks and meet up with them later so we can all go to the club together. We hop a taxi and head out to party in Old San Juan. Party is live af. The bad shorty is all over my boy. He comes over to me and tells me you she ain't got no draws on. I'm like how the hell you know? He turns around and pulls up her skirt from the back and I'm like well damn

He tells me that she wants to come back with him but she will only do so if her homegirl can come. This lifesize stick figure was trying to dubb on me all damn night but I'm a slim dude myself and lemme tell you it was like she was tryin to use me to light a fire word to... 

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I was totally and utterly not into this chick. And its not like I was desperate for play cause I had already came up on a right shorty the night before. But at this point my boy is pleading with me to not f this up for him so I know I'm gonna have to man up and play my role. All my other boys is laughing cause they know I'm bout to take an L. Whatever. We get back to the hotel at like 4 in the morning. Only dudes who had somethin to smash were me, my homie with the bad chick, and my homie who had been smashing the bi-lingual translator chick from earlier. Our non-smashing homies conveniently disappear and we split into adjoining rooms to get it in. I'm in the same room as my homie with the bad chick and my other homie in the adjoining room. Not even 5 minutes passes before we hear the headboard banging the wall from the other room

So my boy starts to do what he do. Two beds in the room. Bout 5 feet apart. So I get this chick in bed and I'm like damn maybe I should just smash but my penis hit me with a

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combo. I was so abhorred by her presence that I didn't even think to ask for head. To break the awkwardness of sitting there and doing nothing I start fingering her. That got played after bout 10 minutes. Meanwhile my boy over in the next bed is going full on Brian Pumper. The only thing muffling her screams was the soundtrack of repeated and thorough ar$e clapping against thigh

Ol' girl in bed with me looks over and looks back like damn is this _ gonna smash or what lol. Mind u she doesn't speak much english either. So this awkwardness continued for like 30 minutes. My penis would not have it. She tried to give me a handjob, no go. So she just made me spoon her and we kinda watched the show goin on under the blankets in the other bed lol. My homie finishes smashing and there's like 45 seconds of silence. At this point I'm thinking at least we can call it a night now. Then all of a sudden we hear more smashing and moaning. Shorty in bed with me says out loud "AGAIN!?" in clear English lol. I'm like

My dude is ravaging this girls insides (no pun intended) and it was like it would never come to an end. In total isht went on for at least an hour. I think we fell asleep by like 5 something but we had to be up by 530 so that we could catch a cab and get to the airport in time for our flight at 630am. I think my eyes closed for all of 10 minutes before I had to get up. So we get up, dismiss the chicks, gather my homies who slept on chairs by the pool, pack our bags and hop a taxi to the airport. No showers. My homie reeked of sex lol. We caught our flight and all have a good laugh before dudes pass out from exhaustion one by one. I felt sorry for whoever had to sit next to my homie who stunk of sex on the flight. I leaned back to catch some z's myself. Not too much before the flight was about to land I had leaned over to prop my head on my hand and that's when it hit me. I hadn't washed my hands since fingering that chick. My fingers smelled like raw sewage. Isht woke me right the hell up like 

  I couldn't even get up to go wash my hands cause the flight was descending. I didn't get to wash my hands until we were in the airport lol. Even I had to laugh at the series of events that took place that last day. Good times. 

 

[crunchyblack9]

Originally Posted by ar916

I met up with my ex we were fighting, I was just trying to smash and dip outta there, I kept trying to convince, for at least an hour finally i got her to but she didnt wanna I can tell but I was like w.e lol, we get to the bed I put it in took two strokes felt like I was coming I came in the condom and just laid on her she didnt know I came and she was like whats wrong, I said nah if your mad we shouldn't do this, lets talk about what happened, she was happy I was happy until she saw the condom lol

I had something similar happen. 
I was with this chick in my room. I just had ACL surgery a little over 3 weeks prior. She was chopping me up while I was laying on my back and then I said lets get on the floor b\c my bed was too squeaky. I told her to turn around, I want to hit it from the back. She did, but then turned her head and said, "You're not gonna put it in my butt are you?" I wanted to die laughing right then and there but I told her no. I stroked her like five time and then fired my warning shots. She asked me why did I stop, I told her that my knee was hurting to bad and that I couldnt continue. 

 

[dagrandesoda]

ME and a old friend was chillin and she brought her frien with her. Anyways fast forward, me and the friend exchange numberss and talk. A week later she comes over. We chill on the couch watch some MTV jams, then she talks talkin bout how good I look and of course i compliment her the same way. She then leans closer to me and we kiss. I'm touching her down there and things getting hot. So she takes her pants off and I lye down on my back and she sits on my face and begins to somther my face and i'm loving it. Hopping she would let one rip, she did just that(kinda like soraya carioca movies) and I was in heaven. She was so embrassed though and she got off my face. I' was super pissed and was trying to hold back that I was mad that she got off my face after she farted which I enjoyed. She sensed I enjoyed it and she was creeped out. She said sorry for farting and I was like its ok, then she was like did you actually enjoy that? I was like yeah, she was like What the hell is wrong with you. Called me a perv and she bounced.


I could have told me friend the story, but it would have mad both of us look weird....

 

[toliveanddieinnj]

Originally Posted by Dagrandesoda

ME and a old friend was chillin and she brought her frien with her. Anyways fast forward, me and the friend exchange numberss and talk. A week later she comes over. We chill on the couch watch some MTV jams, then she talks talkin bout how good I look and of course i compliment her the same way. She then leans closer to me and we kiss. I'm touching her down there and things getting hot. So she takes her pants off and I lye down on my back and she sits on my face and begins to somther my face and i'm loving it. Hopping she would let one rip, she did just that(kinda like soraya carioca movies) and I was in heaven. She was so embrassed though and she got off my face. I' was super pissed and was trying to hold back that I was mad that she got off my face after she farted which I enjoyed. She sensed I enjoyed it and she was creeped out. She said sorry for farting and I was like its ok, then she was like did you actually enjoy that? I was like yeah, she was like What the hell is wrong with you. Called me a perv and she bounced.


I could have told me friend the story, but it would have mad both of us look weird....

There's probably an app for that.

 

[dagrandesoda]

Originally Posted by ToLiveandDieinNJ

Originally Posted by Dagrandesoda

ME and a old friend was chillin and she brought her frien with her. Anyways fast forward, me and the friend exchange numberss and talk. A week later she comes over. We chill on the couch watch some MTV jams, then she talks talkin bout how good I look and of course i compliment her the same way. She then leans closer to me and we kiss. I'm touching her down there and things getting hot. So she takes her pants off and I lye down on my back and she sits on my face and begins to somther my face and i'm loving it. Hopping she would let one rip, she did just that(kinda like soraya carioca movies) and I was in heaven. She was so embrassed though and she got off my face. I' was super pissed and was trying to hold back that I was mad that she got off my face after she farted which I enjoyed. She sensed I enjoyed it and she was creeped out. She said sorry for farting and I was like its ok, then she was like did you actually enjoy that? I was like yeah, she was like What the hell is wrong with you. Called me a perv and she bounced.


I could have told me friend the story, but it would have mad both of us look weird....

There's probably an app for that.

You must have never tasted a woman's fart

 

[Shanegerous]

This thread is comedy.

 

[rolaholic]

Originally Posted by Dagrandesoda

ME and a old friend was chillin and she brought her frien with her. Anyways fast forward, me and the friend exchange numberss and talk. A week later she comes over. We chill on the couch watch some MTV jams, then she talks talkin bout how good I look and of course i compliment her the same way. She then leans closer to me and we kiss. I'm touching her down there and things getting hot. So she takes her pants off and I lye down on my back and she sits on my face and begins to somther my face and i'm loving it. Hopping she would let one rip, she did just that(kinda like soraya carioca movies) and I was in heaven. She was so embrassed though and she got off my face. I' was super pissed and was trying to hold back that I was mad that she got off my face after she farted which I enjoyed. She sensed I enjoyed it and she was creeped out. She said sorry for farting and I was like its ok, then she was like did you actually enjoy that? I was like yeah, she was like What the hell is wrong with you. Called me a perv and she bounced.


I could have told me friend the story, but it would have mad both of us look weird....

 

[nktran001]

Originally Posted by DajonDondo

Keep the stories coming...

REAL TEARS!

 

[khemikalali1]

Originally Posted by Rolaholic

Originally Posted by Dagrandesoda

ME and a old friend was chillin and she brought her frien with her. Anyways fast forward, me and the friend exchange numberss and talk. A week later she comes over. We chill on the couch watch some MTV jams, then she talks talkin bout how good I look and of course i compliment her the same way. She then leans closer to me and we kiss. I'm touching her down there and things getting hot. So she takes her pants off and I lye down on my back and she sits on my face and begins to somther my face and i'm loving it. Hopping she would let one rip, she did just that(kinda like soraya carioca movies) and I was in heaven. She was so embrassed though and she got off my face. I' was super pissed and was trying to hold back that I was mad that she got off my face after she farted which I enjoyed. She sensed I enjoyed it and she was creeped out. She said sorry for farting and I was like its ok, then she was like did you actually enjoy that? I was like yeah, she was like What the hell is wrong with you. Called me a perv and she bounced.


I could have told me friend the story, but it would have mad both of us look weird....

bahahahaha.. this cant be real life!!!!

 

[k3stacks]

Yall aint ordinary half these stories prolly ducktales. 1 time I got sum fire !%! head it was so good that I was shivering & my teeth were clattering. Ma thought I was playing I later told her that I wasnt & rlly cldnt help my body. It was Crazy

 

[dagrandesoda]

Originally Posted by k3stacks

Yall aint ordinary half these stories prolly ducktales. 1 time I got sum fire !%! head it was so good that I was shivering & my teeth were clattering. Ma thought I was playing I later told her that I wasnt & rlly cldnt help my body. It was Crazy

first time getting dome huh?

 

[checks mcgee]

Originally Posted by eashawty

Originally Posted by IllmaticBlueprint

I don't understand how my mans started eating butt before !*%%% though 

 word...

that chick prolly convinced him that it was the norm, like no wrong hole babe


I remember i went to visit my girl for a week or two over the summer, had some of the best sex in my life.  One night  we copped a couple bottles of malibu and put it in the big movie cups (went to see grown-ups, such a bad movie btw). 

Came back, drunk as +@$#, and got it on everywhere, the floor, couch, bed, for like 2 hours.  Mid session, I hear a pop and notice she starts crying

so obviously im like "are you ok?" she tells me to keep goin like a champ, but I keep hearing her wimper in pain.  So I figured I should just stop, still got some boning in while she was crying tho

so the next day she goes to the doctor and her hip got popped outta place or some +%%!. 


we had a crazy break-up, and you know how chicks wanna low blow you when they mad bout sex or your manhood?
"$$%%! i made you cry...DURING SEX"

 

[User 37837]

Originally Posted by khemikalali1

Originally Posted by Rolaholic

Originally Posted by Dagrandesoda

ME and a old friend was chillin and she brought her frien with her. Anyways fast forward, me and the friend exchange numberss and talk. A week later she comes over. We chill on the couch watch some MTV jams, then she talks talkin bout how good I look and of course i compliment her the same way. She then leans closer to me and we kiss. I'm touching her down there and things getting hot. So she takes her pants off and I lye down on my back and she sits on my face and begins to somther my face and i'm loving it. Hopping she would let one rip, she did just that(kinda like soraya carioca movies) and I was in heaven. She was so embrassed though and she got off my face. I' was super pissed and was trying to hold back that I was mad that she got off my face after she farted which I enjoyed. She sensed I enjoyed it and she was creeped out. She said sorry for farting and I was like its ok, then she was like did you actually enjoy that? I was like yeah, she was like What the hell is wrong with you. Called me a perv and she bounced.


I could have told me friend the story, but it would have mad both of us look weird....

bahahahaha.. this cant be real life!!!!

.........................

 

[41239]

Originally Posted by Dagrandesoda

ME and a old friend was chillin and she brought her frien with her. Anyways fast forward, me and the friend exchange numberss and talk. A week later she comes over. We chill on the couch watch some MTV jams, then she talks talkin bout how good I look and of course i compliment her the same way. She then leans closer to me and we kiss. I'm touching her down there and things getting hot. So she takes her pants off and I lye down on my back and she sits on my face and begins to somther my face and i'm loving it. Hopping she would let one rip, she did just that(kinda like soraya carioca movies) and I was in heaven. She was so embrassed though and she got off my face. I' was super pissed and was trying to hold back that I was mad that she got off my face after she farted which I enjoyed. She sensed I enjoyed it and she was creeped out. She said sorry for farting and I was like its ok, then she was like did you actually enjoy that? I was like yeah, she was like What the hell is wrong with you. Called me a perv and she bounced.


I could have told me friend the story, but it would have mad both of us look weird....

dude, that is super weird, but you shouldve played normal to continue like "omg did you just do that, can you please control your body? gosh. . . . now can you please sit on my face again?"

 

[lver of jordan]