Post your most embarrassing sexual encounters vol. 4

[so uptempo]

this thread is the greatest

 

[antbanks81]

http://msnbcmedia2.msn.co...E_Sigel_hmed.hmedium.jpgsrc="http://msnbcmedia2.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/041007/041007_BEANIE_Sigel_hmed.hmedium.jpg">


Look on her face, tombout "you nutted?"

I couldn't even say yes. Shorty shook her head at me and left the crib. Word to me, when she was coming back over the next time, I beat off liketwice before hand (no pun intended) and went to work on that @@$.

LMAO!!THAT $+%# IS SO +#$$*$$ FUNNY! The story funny but yall know what I tombout

 

[datruth92803]

I got yall so I was getting it in with my girl at the time and I was going in Raw i thought it was the thing to do at the time Smh @ myself so Im bout to Bustso i pulls out and aims for the Tiddays well I missed and shot in her eye and it was a lot too like what u see in those physical education videos on the netshe was crying and carrying on i had to walk out the room cause i was dying laughing she made me go to the walmart get eye wash. We carpooled so the nextmorning on our way to work she was giving me the silent treatment and I was telling her she got some dried up on her eye lid and her eye was still pink. Hergirlfriends noticed and told her but only after they roasted her so she went on lunch to the dr. He prescribed her a Eyepatch for 2 weeks. So for 2 weeks mychic was walking round looking like Jack sparrow..Needless to say i was cut off but the jokes was well worth it. When I was 19 I was smashing a chic who livedabout 8 blocks from me both her parents worked nights so i would sneak out my house at Midnight to go over there so one night we getting it popping I loosetrack of time and her dad comes home on his lunch break. Her dad was a security guard big buff ugly dude look like dude on everybody hates chris so im scarredso she tells me hide in the closet her pops falls asleep on the couch by the door. I was in the closet for 3 hours from 3am to 6am she fell asleep as well so ipop out the closet wake her up so she can let me out I get to the door and its Pouring Rain. I have no umbrella or jacket with a hike ahead of me its stilldark so shorty offers up her baby phat jacket so i figure its probably a 20 minute trip on foot i can be home before anyone sees me Get u to my house as i comein my mom is coming out I have on basket ball shorts a white t and Pink babyfat bomber on. My Mom gave me a look that would make medusa blush. She never askedme where i was coming from but she told my dad something cause two days later he came in my room talking about i want the pink jacket and any pink panties youmay own We dont play that in this house to this day i dont know if he was being serious... Last one this didnt happen to me but to my Homeboy.. He was gettingsome Top from his jumpoff in his whip so Chick tells him let her know when he bout to Shoot cause she aint taking it the mouth well he tried to get slick andnot tell her so he starts to Shoot she backs uo grabs his joint and tilts it towards him he shot in his own eyes and had it on his chin. He told us this storytoday and I coudnt help but post that.

 

[D Fly]

Some of yall really need to use the Enter key in this thread.

 

[iblink]

I know there are more of you out there who've taken L's in the sack.

 

[vickylove]

Originally Posted by Mr DragonFly Jones

I think I told this story in the last thread but I'll tell it again:


I had to be like 14-15 when this happened..I was messing around with this girl in my neighborhood one day and all was going well..then she wanted me to go down. i'm like sure why not, right?


Well after about 5 minutes, she let out the most foul, disgusting, vomit inducing fart I had ever experienced..and my face caught all of it.

I swear I was gonna punch her in the stomach. I told her to leave..I couldn't even continue after that.

Worst part is..the smell was like..wrapped around my head like a cloud of death for the rest of the day.

 

[xbiker47]

Originally Posted by So Uptempo

this thread is the greatest

it really is

anyone have a link to embarrassing sexual encounters vol 1??

 

[raptors29]

Originally Posted by Mr DragonFly Jones

I think I told this story in the last thread but I'll tell it again:


I had to be like 14-15 when this happened..I was messing around with this girl in my neighborhood one day and all was going well..then she wanted me to go down. i'm like sure why not, right?


Well after about 5 minutes, she let out the most foul, disgusting, vomit inducing fart I had ever experienced..and my face caught all of it.

I swear I was gonna punch her in the stomach. I told her to leave..I couldn't even continue after that.

Worst part is..the smell was like..wrapped around my head like a cloud of death for the rest of the day.

What that thang taste like?

 

[iblink]

Originally Posted by xbiker47

Originally Posted by So Uptempo

this thread is the greatest

it really is

anyone have a link to embarrassing sexual encounters vol 1??

Vol. 1 wasn't so great, but vol. 2 from early '08 was ******edly funny. It topped this one by a long shot. I had many sore ribs and teary eyes fromreading that one.

 

[xbiker47]

Originally Posted by iBlink

Originally Posted by xbiker47

Originally Posted by So Uptempo

this thread is the greatest

it really is

anyone have a link to embarrassing sexual encounters vol 1??

Vol. 1 wasn't so great, but vol. 2 from early '08 was ******edly funny. It topped this one by a long shot. I had many sore ribs and teary eyes from reading that one.

could you link me to vol 2? I think the only other one I could find was vol 3 and that was just

 

[iblink]

vol. 2 was still on ezboards I think. It's long gone.

 

[D Fly]

Originally Posted by raptors29

Originally Posted by Mr DragonFly Jones

I think I told this story in the last thread but I'll tell it again:


I had to be like 14-15 when this happened..I was messing around with this girl in my neighborhood one day and all was going well..then she wanted me to go down. i'm like sure why not, right?


Well after about 5 minutes, she let out the most foul, disgusting, vomit inducing fart I had ever experienced..and my face caught all of it.

I swear I was gonna punch her in the stomach. I told her to leave..I couldn't even continue after that.

Worst part is..the smell was like..wrapped around my head like a cloud of death for the rest of the day.

What that thang taste like?

You wrong for that.

 

[lifelessons]

Originally Posted by MILLION DOLLAR STACKS

---

Originally Posted by rck2sactown

I dunno if this exactly embarrassing, but the first time i had sex I had to go out and buy condoms for the first time...........
me being Asian and succumbing to stereotypes and being somewhat naive, just bought regular ole' Trojan cuz i thought I was packing small. No I never got the opportunity to check my schlong size with other dudes so I didn't know.

Anyways fast forward to the next day, shawty comes over; the moment comes for me to slip on the rubber and I'm having the hardest time ever putting it on. She even tries to help me, and finally she peeps up "this doesn't fit you, you're too big." i slight smirk came to my face. I was slightly embarrassed to tell her I was a virgin and had no idea what to buy... We finished up raw....The next day she brought over a box of magnums and its been a wrap since (no pun intended)

yeah ok buddy

dudes story had ducktales all on it

 

[jordanhead2]

Originally Posted by datruth92803

He was getting some Top from his jumpoff in his whip so Chick tells him let her know when he bout to Shoot cause she aint taking it the mouth well he tried to get slick and not tell her so he starts to Shoot she backs uo grabs his joint and tilts it towards him he shot in his own eyes and had it on his chin. He told us this story today and I coudnt help but post that.

Your friend is a fool. thats one of those things you keep to yourself.

 

[mr monday niight]

Originally Posted by JayADiCt92

Originally Posted by airmaxpenny1

When I got home I stripped naked and got on all 4's so my balls would just dangle. They hurt that bad.

AYO what the hell

 

[just reason]

this thread is hilarious...

 

[trueballer507]

Originally Posted by datruth92803

two days later he came in my room talking about i want the pink jacket and any pink panties you may own We dont play that in this house to this day i dont know if he was being serious...

 

[sneakerpimp2k8]

Originally Posted by Mr DragonFly Jones

I think I told this story in the last thread but I'll tell it again:


I had to be like 14-15 when this happened..I was messing around with this girl in my neighborhood one day and all was going well..then she wanted me to go down. i'm like sure why not, right?


Well after about 5 minutes, she let out the most foul, disgusting, vomit inducing fart I had ever experienced..and my face caught all of it.

I swear I was gonna punch her in the stomach. I told her to leave..I couldn't even continue after that.

Worst part is..the smell was like..wrapped around my head like a cloud of death for the rest of the day.

 

[datruth92803]

Originally Posted by JordanHead2

Originally Posted by datruth92803

He was getting some Top from his jumpoff in his whip so Chick tells him let her know when he bout to Shoot cause she aint taking it the mouth well he tried to get slick and not tell her so he starts to Shoot she backs uo grabs his joint and tilts it towards him he shot in his own eyes and had it on his chin. He told us this story today and I coudnt help but post that.

Your friend is a fool. thats one of those things you keep to yourself.

Son we Kicked that Ninja out his own car. 1 You dont tell ur boys stuff like that ever you just take the L laugh keep it to urself. 2. He said it like he wasproud of it like it was an accomplishment. He a lil bit off but I can honestly say you need people like this in ya circle to keep it interesting

 

[waystinthyme]

Originally Posted by JordanHead2

Originally Posted by datruth92803

He was getting some Top from his jumpoff in his whip so Chick tells him let her know when he bout to Shoot cause she aint taking it the mouth well he tried to get slick and not tell her so he starts to Shoot she backs uo grabs his joint and tilts it towards him he shot in his own eyes and had it on his chin. He told us this story today and I coudnt help but post that.

Your friend is a fool. thats one of those things you keep to yourself.

-waystinthyme

 

[onetwothreewick]

Originally Posted by datruth92803

I got yall so I was getting it in with my girl at the time and I was going in Raw i thought it was the thing to do at the time Smh @ myself so Im bout to Bust so i pulls out and aims for the Tiddays well I missed and shot in her eye and it was a lot too like what u see in those physical education videos on the net she was crying and carrying on i had to walk out the room cause i was dying laughing she made me go to the walmart get eye wash. We carpooled so the next morning on our way to work she was giving me the silent treatment and I was telling her she got some dried up on her eye lid and her eye was still pink. Her girlfriends noticed and told her but only after they roasted her so she went on lunch to the dr. He prescribed her a Eyepatch for 2 weeks. So for 2 weeks my chic was walking round looking like Jack sparrow..Needless to say i was cut off but the jokes was well worth it. When I was 19 I was smashing a chic who lived about 8 blocks from me both her parents worked nights so i would sneak out my house at Midnight to go over there so one night we getting it popping I loose track of time and her dad comes home on his lunch break. Her dad was a security guard big buff ugly dude look like dude on everybody hates chris so im scarred so she tells me hide in the closet her pops falls asleep on the couch by the door. I was in the closet for 3 hours from 3am to 6am she fell asleep as well so i pop out the closet wake her up so she can let me out I get to the door and its Pouring Rain. I have no umbrella or jacket with a hike ahead of me its still dark so shorty offers up her baby phat jacket so i figure its probably a 20 minute trip on foot i can be home before anyone sees me Get u to my house as i come in my mom is coming out I have on basket ball shorts a white t and Pink babyfat bomber on. My Mom gave me a look that would make medusa blush. She never asked me where i was coming from but she told my dad something cause two days later he came in my room talking about i want the pink jacket and any pink panties you may own We dont play that in this house to this day i dont know if he was being serious... Last one this didnt happen to me but to my Homeboy.. He was getting some Top from his jumpoff in his whip so Chick tells him let her know when he bout to Shoot cause she aint taking it the mouth well he tried to get slick and not tell her so he starts to Shoot she backs uo grabs his joint and tilts it towards him he shot in his own eyes and had it on his chin. He told us this story today and I coudnt help but post that.

 

[charmcitykid]

1st time i ever got some i was like 13 or 14. it was these 2 chicks me & my cousin met. he had 2 twin beds on opposite sides of his room.

so we got the 2 chicks in there and he's getting nowhere with his, but i'm getting play. lights are out. so me & shorty think they are sleep so westart gettin it in.

come to find out, the other chick really was sleep, but my cousin was faking. he was watching the whole time.

long story short, he says i was tounging shorty down for like an hour.

then he says i literally took 3 pumps and started to jizz.

then he swears i asked her if she was hungry and i made her a sandwich like i really put it down, which i conveniently don't remember and will NEVER admitto.

 

[henz0]

Last weekend I went to see Observe Report with this chick after I played ball (yea i showered), we walked in and there was only 4 people in the front so imlike

lets go to the back... Midway thru the movie shorty starts giving me dome, nowI'm getting all into it bout to release my !$* is like raised out the seat

. Now right when im releasing I caught a charlie horse type cramp in my stomach so im like

all in one, I almost yelled out loud but I didnt wanna embarassher... She just laughed

I'm not sure if thats the most embarassing but its the most recent.

 

[Pmighty]

Originally Posted by Lizaker4Lizife

I sprayed cherry flavored Chloraseptic on my wood thinking it would help me last longer

at my boy Matt who gave me that wonderful nugget of advice

SMH at myself thinkin it would taste like cherry and help me last for hours

young dumb full of %*#%

 

[aznjmacan]

I was like 18 and I had a hott rich girl that would call me latenight.

Her house was huge and had a full security system, so to get in was a mission. I had to park blocks away and she would break off the sensors and re-attach themwhen I came in- and do the same when I was leaving, we thought everything was cool.

I am walking out from the back door like 5am one morning and shortys mom pops through the front - she lets loose a shriek like a wounded wild animal - runs inthe house sets the alarm. The entire enclave is going off like a nuclear plant is about to explode, I jump the fence and run to the whip, ride off and asecurity cruiser stops me. I call homegirl like come sort this out, she had to come out on the road with her mom in their nightgowns to get me off - the wholetime the mom is grilling me like - I hope you had a good time ...