Relationship question. Vol. 1st one I ever did. Mature answers please

[sharpiepoint]

So heres the problem NT, my girl and I have been going out for almost 8months now and there is something that bothers me about her so called 'friends'. It is regarding excessive flirting from her guy friends. I actually know these guys and they are all pretty cool but they seem to insist on flirting with mygirl even though they know me and her are together (in front of my face). And let me explain this flirting is in the form of sexual innuendos (almost always)but never anything blunt such as, hey you look good come over and lets get busy. An example of the flirting though would be such as the following, "heynice ****" or "hey your boobs are awesome" . But sexual innuendos it is, and they bother me quite much. I feel as if there should be a mutualrespect between us men and that if I would not do that to your girl (as in this case flirt heavily) you should not do that to mine. I feel as if this is justa simple form of respect for one another regardless if we are best buds or not. My girl acts as if I am overreacting saying I am sensitive and defends thembecause they are her so called 'friends' and they are just 'words' being said. But like I mentioned I am cool with these individuals I justdont respect how they dont respect my girl, myself, and our relationship. It comes to the point as mentioned, I would NEVER flirt in anyway excessively withmy friend's gf's. I am not Confucious nor Jesus in anyway preaching the golden rule but I feel as though it's just fair to be respectful of otherpeople's women, may it be there GF, mother, or sister.

I know some of my friends might read this lol but its all good and I just want to let this be known and would like some input from NTers as well. So whatshould I do?

P.S. I already mentioned all of this reasoning to the lady already.

 

[951guero]

they aint respecting you

 

[soltheman]

MAN-LAW!

 

[zeen1ne]

talk to them dudes...thats o.d disrespectful...

 

[gumbottombandit]

respect is the key word. they don't show/have it for you, your girl, or y'alls relationship. the funny thing is she doesn't seem to mind, so youmight run into difficulties there.

 

[g raider]

Originally Posted by 951guero

they aint respecting you

QFT. they must not like YOU very much.

 

[dunks87]

i thought only females committed such trifeness.
guess this would be an example of you needing to "MAN UP"

 

[stoneyjax]

Originally Posted by SharpiePoint

So heres the problem NT, my girl and I have been going out for almost 8months now and there is something that bothers me about her so called 'friends'. It is regarding excessive flirting from her guy friends. I actually know these guys and they are all pretty cool but they seem to insist on flirting with my girl even though they know me and her are together (in front of my face). And let me explain this flirting is in the form of sexual innuendos (almost always) but never anything blunt such as, hey you look good come over and lets get busy. An example of the flirting though would be such as the following, [color= rgb(255, 0, 0)]"hey nice ****" or "hey your boobs are awesome" .[/color] But sexual innuendos it is, and they bother me quite much. I feel as if there should be a mutual respect between us men and that if I would not do that to your girl (as in this case flirt heavily) you should not do that to mine. I feel as if this is just a simple form of respect for one another regardless if we are best buds or not. My girl acts as if I am overreacting saying I am sensitive and defends them because they are her so called 'friends' and they are just 'words' being said. But like I mentioned I am cool with these individuals I just dont respect how they dont respect my girl, myself, and our relationship. It comes to the point as mentioned, I would NEVER flirt in anyway excessively with my friend's gf's. I am not Confucious nor Jesus in anyway preaching the golden rule but I feel as though it's just fair to be respectful of other people's women, may it be there GF, mother, or sister.

I know some of my friends might read this lol but its all good and I just want to let this be known and would like some input from NTers as well. So what should I do?

P.S. I already mentioned all of this reasoning to the lady already.

MMMMmm i would consider that rather blunt

 

[slamcity]

Just pull them aside and tell them how you see it,
and if they keep acting out of line, just man up

 

[kaycurrency]

They say that infront of your face???????????????? lolllllllllllll

Thats OD disrespectful...lol

 

[daonenonlyj]

..Man-Up and voice that its foul to talk about your girl like that, friends or not.. Plain and simple

 

[sharpiepoint]

well the thing is before we started dated they used to 'joke' around with her like that and she was fine with it. Maybe you guys are right, next time Ihear one of these guys mention one of these things around me I will not hesitate to talk to them about this. And actually they don't hate me cause we usedto hang out a year previously almost every other day and they never indicated that they hate me nor suggest it. And never have I wronged them nor their gfs inany way.

 

[8tothe24]

Originally Posted by Daonenonlyj

..Man-Up and voice that its foul to talk about your girl like that, friends or not.. Plain and simple

Word. You need to lay down on this or let the broad go. No offense but sounds like they treat her like a jump-off.

 

[milestailsprowe]

Originally Posted by SlamCity

Just pull them aside and tell them how you see it,
and if they keep acting out of line, just man up

 

[sharpiepoint]

Originally Posted by 8tothe24

Originally Posted by Daonenonlyj

..Man-Up and voice that its foul to talk about your girl like that, friends or not.. Plain and simple

Word. You need to lay down on this or let the broad go. No offense but sounds like they treat her like a jump-off.

Well I'm actually her first, and first bf as well. And I always felt that way and I mentioned it to her before and she brushes it off becuasethey are 'jokes' and they are her friends.. And the reason why she lets this slide is b/c she is a very easy going girl and can tolerate a lotincluding this bs (jokes to her but bs to me

)

 

[coolnificent]

You need whip it out, the .40 cal that is

 

[ipitomi]

hey, its not really the guys faults.........you really need to tell your girl straightforward that if you are together with her that she really should speak upand tell any other guy that flirts with her that way that it bothers you and shouldn't be happening. If she really does care for you she will listen toyour requests. You aren't askin' her to do something overboard, she can just tell the guy or guys that she wants to be treated with respect anddoesn't like it and that will stop. Because you can't be with her all the time, so how don't you know that its not happening at work. An easy,"hey, i have a boyfriend and don't like you talking that way to me" .....its that simple

 

[sharpiepoint]

Originally Posted by ipitomi

hey, its not really the guys faults.........you really need to tell your girl straightforward that if you are together with her that she really should speak up and tell any other guy that flirts with her that way that it bothers you and shouldn't be happening. If she really does care for you she will listen to your requests. You aren't askin' her to do something overboard, she can just tell the guy or guys that she wants to be treated with respect and doesn't like it and that will stop. Because you can't be with her all the time, so how don't you know that its not happening at work. An easy, "hey, i have a boyfriend and don't like you talking that way to me" .....its that simple

Yeah I feel you bro and I actually just told her this a few hours ago and she got mad

. I've actually told her this a handful of times andshe says she does not feel disrespected and that she will continue to hang out with these individuals though she mentioned she has avoided them because of me(I never said she can't hang with them)... and she actually told this one idiot to stop b/c i wrote a reply to this one guy's fb comment on her fbstatus (gave them a taste of their own medicine)

 

[ouch my feet]

Its about the respect from your girl. You need to let her know how you feel and that its making you uncomfortable. You dont enjoy her letting others talking toher like that while shes in a relationship. I mean she can do whatever she wants when shes single, but at the moment shes not. If she doesnt take what you havesaid into consideration she obviously has no respect for how you feel and loves the attention.

 

[sharpiepoint]

Originally Posted by Ouch my feet

Its about the respect from your girl. You need to let her know how you feel and that its making you uncomfortable. You dont enjoy her letting others talking to her like that while shes in a relationship. I mean she can do whatever she wants when shes single, but at the moment shes not. If she doesnt take what you have said into consideration she obviously has no respect for how you feel and loves the attention.

I hear what you are saying but she doesn't see how things should be for a healthy relationship. Like I mentioned this is her first relationship and fromwhat I see, I think she still wants it to be the way it used to be as in everyone is her friend still therefore, I don't think it's about her wantingattention. Because, these guys think its funny and she is not aggressive enough when telling them off (the 2-3 times it was mentioned to maybe one or twoindividuals).

 

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

Here's what you do, get rid of her. And don't talk to her about how her friends act, bring this up to them bums but all of this is moot tell her totake a hike because she doesn't look like she wants a "healthy" relationship.

 

[keepzdasneakz]

I'm sure most of NT will agree with me when I say this is really disrespectful. I've never thought about doing that type of stuff to girls I know thathave boyfriends that I am also fond of. Man-law, you best find out if they gay or not, because if not...

 

[therav4]

Originally Posted by GrimlocK

Here's what you do, get rid of her. And don't talk to her about how her friends act, bring this up to them bums but all of this is moot tell her to take a hike because she doesn't look like she wants a "healthy" relationship.

I actually agree with this. Not worth it. Find a real one.

 

[ipitomi]

maybe you should do the same to her and maybe it will show her that it isn't a cool matter............so get some of your girls that youknow.................and lets say you and your girl decide to go to see a movie.............tell your girls that are friends to show up at a certaintime.........so when you and your girl show up they're waitin' in line or in the area to see you and let them come up to you and say whats up and startto flirt with you the same way her guy friends flirt with her........and then see what her reaction is......and if she wants you to stop then you can be like......why do i have to stop if you don't?? or somethin like that .....you get the picture

 

[sharpiepoint]

Originally Posted by ipitomi

maybe you should do the same to her and maybe it will show her that it isn't a cool matter............so get some of your girls that you know.................and lets say you and your girl decide to go to see a movie.............tell your girls that are friends to show up at a certain time.........so when you and your girl show up they're waitin' in line or in the area to see you and let them come up to you and say whats up and start to flirt with you the same way her guy friends flirt with her........and then see what her reaction is......and if she wants you to stop then you can be like ......why do i have to stop if you don't?? or somethin like that .....you get the picture

Wow, yet again a solution that doesn't work no offense to you

She actually INSISTS on me hanging out with more girls and finding moregirl friends since I mainly only hang with my close buddies who are guys. But do you guys think I should avoid these guys at all costs and not instigate byinsisting hanging out with her when they call her to hang out??