So my girls kid called me Da-Da...older NT'ers...serious topic

[allen3xis]

I'm puttin the car seat belt in the other night and as I close the door to leave she says "bye dada"

Thankfully my girl never heard or she'd flip. She's been protective of that for a while, in case it didnt work with us, she doesn't want her kidexposed to many, if any guys.

She's 3 and we've been together 2 so it was gona get to this point of me being a father figure but problem is if somethin went wrong..

Then 2 days later, I wake up and start packin my bag to leave and she asks my why I'm leavin

I'm attached pretty much

Question is for anyone that ever experienced, I'm in a pickle..

- I want to be a father figure and all that. thing is when she said it, it felt incredible, like I know I'm doing somethin good, because I am there forthem

- The attachment part if things didn't work...

Advice? I know it's somethin I got to talk about with my gf, but it's not the easiest thing to spark a conversation about

 

[king lincey]

I'm really not old enough to give you any advice, but a couple things come to mind:

1.) I understand where your girl is coming from about the exposing her child to men thing, but she had to have forseen this. With the way you take care ofthem, this kind of thing was inevitable. People get attached, and the girl sees you all the time, so it was bound to happen.

2.) No matter how you approach it, this is going to be a difficult and emotional conversation. Tell her how YOU feel. You obviously love the little girl, sotell your girl. This might change how she feels about her little one being exposed to you. Who knows, it might strengthen you guys' relationship.

And another thing. I commend you for being there for that little girl, because many guys wouldn't care one way or another.

 

[jpap348]

I commend you for being there for that little girl, because many guys wouldn't care one way or another.


real talk

 

[militaryiv]

Originally Posted by King Lincey

And another thing. I commend you for being there for that little girl, because many guys wouldn't care one way or another.

co-sign

 

[blackmagnus514]

I commend you for being there for that little girl, because many guys wouldn't care one way or another.
guilty.

 

[mplsdunk]

is her dad involved?

 

[freshproduct]

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

I commend you for being there for that little girl, because many guys wouldn't care one way or another.

guilty.

 

[soleaddict34]

Originally Posted by allen3xis

I'm puttin the car seat belt in the other night and as I close the door to leave she says "bye dada"

Thankfully my girl never heard or she'd flip. She's been protective of that for a while, in case it didnt work with us, she doesn't want her kid exposed to many, if any guys.

She's 3 and we've been together 2 so it was gona get to this point of me being a father figure but problem is if somethin went wrong..

Then 2 days later, I wake up and start packin my bag to leave and she asks my why I'm leavin

I'm attached pretty much

Question is for anyone that ever experienced, I'm in a pickle..

- I want to be a father figure and all that. thing is when she said it, it felt incredible, like I know I'm doing somethin good, because I am there for them

- The attachment part if things didn't work...

Advice? I know it's somethin I got to talk about with my gf, but it's not the easiest thing to spark a conversation about

when you date women with children that are under 4 yrs old it is inevitable that the child will form a bond with you. The question is do you want to bewith this girl because the kid isn't going anywhere. You have to decide if you want to be a part of their lives, if not don't play games, for thechild's sake at least.

 

[allen3xis]

is her dad involved?
No. Not all. Which honestly, with the way he is, is only a good thing. For everyone involved.

You have to decide if you want to be a part of their lives, if not don't play games, for the child's sake at least.
The answer is yes, no question.


just difficult right now to actually bring the topic up and honestly, a little fear of having this role.

then 'man' up

Not a problem on my side. Problem is of my gf being so protective, and rightfully so. I guess I'm still in the process of gaining that trust

I don't envy your position my dude....
Yeah it's really just the actually part of playin this role full time, and everyone involved being comfortable with that

Me before, wouldn't have either..but at this point. The relationship on both ends is enjoyable.

 

[ThaxbyChamblis]

Dman allen....Thats a very sticky situation...

Cause you know at the end of the day...The mother has to do what's best for the child in the long run....

I think you should bring it up to her before the little girl says it in front of her....Something y'all need to discuss...

I see how you can get attached to the young one...esp if you and the kids mother are especially close...

I don't envy your position my dude....

 

[Deleted member 38182]

I know pretty much how you feel...my friend just had a girl with one of my best friends.....and then he bounced off to San Lous Obispo for school...
But i've always been pretty close to the girl(the mom) and i'm always around the kid. I've watched her grow up the last 3-4 months, from pickingher up just a few hours old to crawling and@++* its crazy.

 

[okiedoqui]

 

[gunna get it]

Okie

but seriously, start saving up for that Engagement ring fam.

Me & my daughter's mom are in two seperate places, figuratively and literrally. but its cool.

if my daughter grew up callin someone else dad, I'd be kinda

, If you been around that child for 2 yrs, U already love her like she's your own. Its inevitable, thats just human nature and how kidsgrow on ur heart

 

[blackmagnus514]

honestly....

depends on how mature you are. i KNOW i wouldnt wanna be in your shoes, and i like kids.

if you're scared, just talk about it to your girl. if worse comes to worse, you sounds like you'd be willing to accept if she does put the child overyou, and i would expect her to.

just dont take on that mantle if you aint ready for it mentally and emotionally....

 

[send one]

If the real father aint involved and plan on being serious with the girl....whats the prob?

 

[ThaxbyChamblis]

Originally Posted by SEND ONE

If the real father aint involved and plan on being serious with the girl....whats the prob?

Its not his kid.....And his girl is worried about her kid getting attached to someone that she may not be with forever....

Emotional Scarring to a young child....
But, Y'all gotta talk it out and see how serious y'all are about eachother....for the sake of the littleone...

and

at the deadbeat (If he has any control of the situation)

 

[allen3xis]

you sounds like you'd be willing to accept if she does put the child over you, and i would expect her to.
Absolutely, that child is numero uno. Always has been, always be will. If it wasn't I probably wouldn't see her as good a person.

but seriously, start saving up for that Engagement ring fam.

..it'll probably happen

whats the prob?
There's not really a problem. Just I wasn't ever sure it woulda got to here. I'm not upset that it is, I just gota learn the ropes now

 

[ThaxbyChamblis]

Allen...my dude....I hope you are prepared for this:

 

[yngseancombs12]

I commend you for being there for that little girl, because many guys wouldn't care one way or another.

I think you should bring it up to her before the little girl says it in front of her....Something y'all need to discuss...
Tru!

 

[allen3xis]

 

[blackmagnus514]

 

[ThaxbyChamblis]

YOU JUST MAD CAUSE YOU AIN'T MY DADDY!!!

 

[diceloveme]

damn allen very sticky situation. If you love the kid and the girl, just stick it out my dude.

 

[starbucks gtd]

props

 

[nawth21]

You're just going to have to sit down and tell your girl what happened. You've been together for 2 yrs, and the kid is only 3. She has to be naive tothink that this wouldn't happen. I understand her wanting to protect her kid, but it's not like she's in the dating stage of her life. You 2 are ina committed relationship, it kind of changes things.

It gets way more complicated when both parents are involved but not together anymore.