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Today's diatribe of vaguely insightful ******** is on the widespread theory that "******* ain't ****". Although it is true that most females are indeed unworthy of a kinder evaluation, some are...this letter is to both parties. Enjoy, or something.
*fittedwearer's note: Even though I severely doubt it, I'm willing to accept the possibility that this is just a statistical anomaly involving a random glut of really shot out chicks living within the Philadelphia city limits...but other than that, I mean the living hell out of everything I'm about to type.I know I spend a lot of time ragging on the females of my generation...it's not my fault, many are some of the most ****** up persons ever to touch 2 feet to the surface of the Earth. I mean, females have always been crazy (yes, all of you...and the likable ones just contain a form of craziness compatible with whoever likes them), but that's old-school crazy. We've dealt with that as men for thousands of years, and loved them anyway.
No, this is a new breed of ***** entirely...self-centered, entitled, profligate, irresponsible, unstable, lacking any kind of goals or direction, totally undomesticated (I mean that in both the homemaker sense and the sense that they can't be brought inside a place where other people are without a regrettable incident), attention whoring and ***** whoring, all served with a side of Beyonce-flavored superwoman (or Bizarro *****, in this case) attitude that is almost inexplicable when paired with the other attributes that many of them possess.In short, those ******* ain't ****. You hear no shortage of men willing to attest to this....and why not, it's true! In fact, I'd hazard a guess that well over 75% of the female population of an average city (or just this one) holds absolutely no merit other than what you can see. However, every so almost never, one encounters a female with her head pointing at the correct angle.
She, with her caring ways, sensible nature, functioning moral compass, talents, independent attitude AND capabilities, and...all the other stuff that's the opposite of those bad things I wrote before...should be honored and celebrated. In fact, she's exempt from the "******* ain't ****" theory at large...she's not a ***** at all, she's a real woman! Many don't take the time to make that distinction...I will.Dear real women,**** you, you dippy, fraudulent broad. (Sorry, had to scare off all the chicks who don't deserve to read this letter but just spent the last 2 paragraphs going "oh, that's me!" Stop reading this. Kill yourself. You're part of why a lot of us have trouble with this distinction now.)Okay, now that the riff-raff is gone, I can say what I have to say. I wanted to let y'all know that somebody out here appreciates what you're doing. Seriously, you stand out from the crowd like the rest of the world is black-and-white and you're in HD. If you deserve to read this letter, you're beautiful. You may or may not be physically attractive, but let me tell you your beauty is beyond question.
It can't be easy to live in a ****** up world and remain an un****** person, but I'm asking you to try. I know there's not a lot of reasons for you to be the way you are nowadays, with everyone around you acting a damn fool and seemingly being rewarded for it...but it's very refreshing to still have slivers of faith in femalekind, and it's all because of ladies like you.My mommy told me you existed. She told me what to look for in a woman...unfortunately, the only benefit many of your peers have is the only one my mommy would likely never tell me to look for (and if she did, that would have made a very awkward conversation). Not you. You're different. You have merit as a person. You can hold a conversation, speak in sentences with more than 4 words...hell, I'm even interested in you when your nipples aren't showing.
You may be a college student trying to make it, trying to start a career, attempting to raise a reasonably well-adjusted child, or otherwise trying to take over the world...whatever it is, I respect it. You know why? Because it's not "nothing". There's nothing sexy about a lack of ambition, and yours looks good on you.
I know a lot of guys can't or won't see it. They'll go right for the smoking-hot but otherwise worthless ***** and pass right over your ideal self, then when she flakes off we say "******* ain't ****" and wish we had a good woman...meanwhile the luckiest of us could have had you all along.
Of course, by the time we figure out happiness is greater than hotness, we're usually all a little older and you've found someone who can appreciate all your gifts, leaving us **** out of luck. It's the same thing I (rightfully) accuse females of doing with "nice guys"....but trust me, anyone who can't appreciate your gifts and presence shouldn't be someone whose party you're interested in, anyway. I refuse to be that guy, and that's why I'm writing this.
Really, I just want you to know how valuable you can be. You are the rarest of finds nowadays. Gold prices skyrocket in uncertain times...when our new-age currency loses worth, people find security in it. A similar effect happens in the romantic world...when our new-age currency of temporary affection and serial orgasms loses worth, people find security in the love of a good partner. When global shortages like this one go down, the worth of a decent woman is astronomical. Realize that you're premium goods and that you deserve better than sale rack shoppers...most of the guys who complain that "******* ain't ****" ain't **** themselves. I beg the few who were qualified to read this, don't change. Most of the men you run across won't deserve it at all, but eventually one might and you can't risk shortchanging a guy like that. A pretty girl or a fine ***** is a good look on your arm at a cookout, at a fancy restaurant, or taking a kinetic nap in between your thighs. A beautiful woman is a good look in your life.
I recognize the difference, and believe it or not, a few other guys do too. Once a good girl goes bad, she IS gone forever...I'm just asking you not to go. Like I said, it's certainly true that ******* ain't ****...but then again, you're not one at all (the majority of the time), are you? If you can, try and keep it that way...a lucky guy will thank you one day.Love, AJ
...anyway, how's everybody's day going? Even though I barely keep track of the days, Monday manages to somehow retain its' characteristic suckiness.
I gotta wait until I get home to read and process that
