There are NO benefits for men to get married.

[DCAllAfrican]

Well said.

However, I don't believe (for the most part) that the love a man has for a woman is going to be unconditional. And vice versa. I believe SOMETHING can make that love disappear.

The closest thing to unconditional love would be the love a parent has for a kid or vice versa. And I still don't even think that is 100% unconditional, so that makes it conditional. I don't believe in the concept of unconditional love.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Well said.

However, I don't believe (for the most part) that the love a man has for a woman is going to be unconditional. And vice versa. I believe SOMETHING can make that love disappear.

The closest thing to unconditional love would be the love a parent has for a kid or vice versa. And I still don't even think that is 100% unconditional, so that makes it conditional. I don't believe in the concept of unconditional love.

 

[dathbgboy]

I love how dudes who never had a girlfriend or who aren't married have every opinion about marriage. Keep up the good job fellas.

 

[dathbgboy]

I love how dudes who never had a girlfriend or who aren't married have every opinion about marriage. Keep up the good job fellas.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by Dathbgboy

I love how dudes who never had a girlfriend or who aren't married have every opinion about marriage. Keep up the good job fellas.

Who do think in here have never had a girlfriend.

And why does someone not being married disqualify their opinion on the topic? Have you read LDJ's comments on it or do you not have anything solid to contribute. He is making some strong points. Just read them.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by Dathbgboy

I love how dudes who never had a girlfriend or who aren't married have every opinion about marriage. Keep up the good job fellas.

Who do think in here have never had a girlfriend.

And why does someone not being married disqualify their opinion on the topic? Have you read LDJ's comments on it or do you not have anything solid to contribute. He is making some strong points. Just read them.

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Well said.

However, I don't believe (for the most part) that the love a man has for a woman is going to be unconditional. And vice versa. I believe SOMETHING can make that love disappear.

The closest thing to unconditional love would be the love a parent has for a kid or vice versa. And I still don't even think that is 100% unconditional, so that makes it conditional. I don't believe in the concept of unconditional love.

Very true which even makes this whole concept of marriage even more suspect. Also why is there more love for the child you two create then love for the ppl who created the child? Had it not been for either of the two then the said child/children cease to not exist. And whereas true unconditional love may/may not exist, there clearly a disparingly difference/leeway a kid has over a mate. Its ppl that if there mate lie/cheat/decieve one time and its i dont love you anymore its over get out of my life. Yet your kid has/can and will lie/cheat/decieve several times in your life.

Its ppl who say oh he/she lied to me i dont trust you, you dont love me anymore im out. Why is it that a sig other lies etc.. equate no longer love, yet a childs doesnt? A lie/cheat/deception is just that. It doesnt change the fact just because of who you are in the family structure. If your wife lies to you about stealing money out of you account and using it on drugs/etc (just an example) How is it any different if your 25 y/o son/daughter does the same thing? Why would one stop loving/committing to the other, and be there stand by the side of the other? Is not wrong=wrong?

See like I said before love is unconditional, and a marriage is conditional, thus the reason there is a pact/contract etc.. And thus is a clause aka seperation/divorce. Thats the reason there isnt a so called marriage/documented commitment for being a parent cause society assumes that ppl in most part will love/care commit to be in there kids life, so long as they live. And society also knows that most ppl wont do the same in a mate, reason for seperation/divorce and a pact contract.

Its like any other aspect of life. Cars/phones/houses etc.. They dont believe/think you are committed to paying etc.. So they put you on a contract thus obligating you to do so. If they truly believed in you and had faith in you there would be no need for a contract/pact. And them just truly knowing you etc and your word would sufice. But since they dont aka marriage they have you at " oh i believe you, but i really dont so just to be on the safe side, sign and initial here"

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Well said.

However, I don't believe (for the most part) that the love a man has for a woman is going to be unconditional. And vice versa. I believe SOMETHING can make that love disappear.

The closest thing to unconditional love would be the love a parent has for a kid or vice versa. And I still don't even think that is 100% unconditional, so that makes it conditional. I don't believe in the concept of unconditional love.

Very true which even makes this whole concept of marriage even more suspect. Also why is there more love for the child you two create then love for the ppl who created the child? Had it not been for either of the two then the said child/children cease to not exist. And whereas true unconditional love may/may not exist, there clearly a disparingly difference/leeway a kid has over a mate. Its ppl that if there mate lie/cheat/decieve one time and its i dont love you anymore its over get out of my life. Yet your kid has/can and will lie/cheat/decieve several times in your life.

Its ppl who say oh he/she lied to me i dont trust you, you dont love me anymore im out. Why is it that a sig other lies etc.. equate no longer love, yet a childs doesnt? A lie/cheat/deception is just that. It doesnt change the fact just because of who you are in the family structure. If your wife lies to you about stealing money out of you account and using it on drugs/etc (just an example) How is it any different if your 25 y/o son/daughter does the same thing? Why would one stop loving/committing to the other, and be there stand by the side of the other? Is not wrong=wrong?

See like I said before love is unconditional, and a marriage is conditional, thus the reason there is a pact/contract etc.. And thus is a clause aka seperation/divorce. Thats the reason there isnt a so called marriage/documented commitment for being a parent cause society assumes that ppl in most part will love/care commit to be in there kids life, so long as they live. And society also knows that most ppl wont do the same in a mate, reason for seperation/divorce and a pact contract.

Its like any other aspect of life. Cars/phones/houses etc.. They dont believe/think you are committed to paying etc.. So they put you on a contract thus obligating you to do so. If they truly believed in you and had faith in you there would be no need for a contract/pact. And them just truly knowing you etc and your word would sufice. But since they dont aka marriage they have you at " oh i believe you, but i really dont so just to be on the safe side, sign and initial here"

 

[truthgetsbusy]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Dathbgboy

I love how dudes who never had a girlfriend or who aren't married have every opinion about marriage. Keep up the good job fellas.

Who do think in here have never had a girlfriend.

And why does someone not being married disqualify their opinion on the topic? Have you read LDJ's comments on it or do you not have anything solid to contribute. He is making some strong points. Just read them.

  As far as this guy LDJ goes...remember there are 2 sides to every story.  What he's saying sounds good but who really knows.  There is a reason why people don't do it that way and don't give me that "giving in to social norms and rituals" stuff.  If you don't believe a marriage or even a wedding is more than a title and a party then I feel sorry for you guys. 

Everybody has the right to believe in whatever they want but it sounds silly to argue this one.  Why the hell would you have kids with a woman, live under the same roof, and never get married?  Sounds like dude wants a easy way out incase stuff hits the fan.  It's almost disrespectful to the woman at this point.  Here's some things to think about....


- What do you guys call each other when speaking/introducing to others...do you say "Hi this is my woman"...sounds classy.  I mean you can get sneaky and say "this is the love of my life" and people might assume you are married but that would go against what you believe in right?

- You don't have wedding rings.  Those rings aren't just a symbol of love for the couple but to show the world you are taken also.  That ring can prevent alot of unwanted convo sometimes.

- While you can have a verbal pact with your partner it's not the same as a marriage. That final step shows ultimate trust and "unconditional love".

- A wedding is a celebration of your love.  It's a day to show everyone who you might not see you on a daily basis how much you guys love one another.  It's a day for the 2 families to become 1.  I'm not even big on weddings but I understand what they are for.

- Are you raising your children to believe the same?  Or you don't really care how they go about it.  Would you feel comfortable with your daughter just living with some dude for years?


I would love to hear LDJ's woman on this topic and how she feels about it.  Not saying he's lying but he is making a complicated situation sound to easy.

 

[truthgetsbusy]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Dathbgboy

I love how dudes who never had a girlfriend or who aren't married have every opinion about marriage. Keep up the good job fellas.

Who do think in here have never had a girlfriend.

And why does someone not being married disqualify their opinion on the topic? Have you read LDJ's comments on it or do you not have anything solid to contribute. He is making some strong points. Just read them.

  As far as this guy LDJ goes...remember there are 2 sides to every story.  What he's saying sounds good but who really knows.  There is a reason why people don't do it that way and don't give me that "giving in to social norms and rituals" stuff.  If you don't believe a marriage or even a wedding is more than a title and a party then I feel sorry for you guys. 

Everybody has the right to believe in whatever they want but it sounds silly to argue this one.  Why the hell would you have kids with a woman, live under the same roof, and never get married?  Sounds like dude wants a easy way out incase stuff hits the fan.  It's almost disrespectful to the woman at this point.  Here's some things to think about....


- What do you guys call each other when speaking/introducing to others...do you say "Hi this is my woman"...sounds classy.  I mean you can get sneaky and say "this is the love of my life" and people might assume you are married but that would go against what you believe in right?

- You don't have wedding rings.  Those rings aren't just a symbol of love for the couple but to show the world you are taken also.  That ring can prevent alot of unwanted convo sometimes.

- While you can have a verbal pact with your partner it's not the same as a marriage. That final step shows ultimate trust and "unconditional love".

- A wedding is a celebration of your love.  It's a day to show everyone who you might not see you on a daily basis how much you guys love one another.  It's a day for the 2 families to become 1.  I'm not even big on weddings but I understand what they are for.

- Are you raising your children to believe the same?  Or you don't really care how they go about it.  Would you feel comfortable with your daughter just living with some dude for years?


I would love to hear LDJ's woman on this topic and how she feels about it.  Not saying he's lying but he is making a complicated situation sound to easy.

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Dathbgboy

I love how dudes who never had a girlfriend or who aren't married have every opinion about marriage. Keep up the good job fellas.

Who do think in here have never had a girlfriend.

And why does someone not being married disqualify their opinion on the topic? Have you read LDJ's comments on it or do you not have anything solid to contribute. He is making some strong points. Just read them.

Not to check you or anything but what i am stating are facts. There isnt a ceremony/pact/ etc for the commitment ppl have to love/care for there kids. Why is there one for the person you make kids with? If it isnt for social norms/validation then what is it for then? To the ppl who say the ceremony/pact/contract/ring=commitment then why doesnt this idea follow suite for love/commitment to being a parent? Why isnt this idea practiced in all aspects of commitment?

And to the guy who said marriage shows kids how things suppose to be. According to who? Like I said society norms, and what ppl who arent even in the unification. So again that just proves its done for status qou. If anything the only thing that truly bonds two ppl together is having kids. There is no seperation/divorce of being a mother/father. Until the day you die whether you married/single never be with the other person you will always have that bond of parents. even if its just from a biological standpoint you still are bonded regardless. Marriages/relationships arent forever. But if two ppl have a child that will always be there child. And they will always be parents, and will have that bond/connection due to the fact they have a child.

If i left my old lady or she left me, and we dated saw other ppl we will still have a bond etc due to us having kids. Am i not right? marriage isnt a commitment/pact/bond. Its merely a piece of paper that states that it is. Cause there is chance circumstances that makes this untrue. There is no chance circumstances in which you have a kid you arent the mother/father? Whether you a deadbeat mom/dad you still are bonded for life as a parent. Whether that bond is strong is another thing but that bond can never be erased.
 
  

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Dathbgboy

I love how dudes who never had a girlfriend or who aren't married have every opinion about marriage. Keep up the good job fellas.

Who do think in here have never had a girlfriend.

And why does someone not being married disqualify their opinion on the topic? Have you read LDJ's comments on it or do you not have anything solid to contribute. He is making some strong points. Just read them.

Not to check you or anything but what i am stating are facts. There isnt a ceremony/pact/ etc for the commitment ppl have to love/care for there kids. Why is there one for the person you make kids with? If it isnt for social norms/validation then what is it for then? To the ppl who say the ceremony/pact/contract/ring=commitment then why doesnt this idea follow suite for love/commitment to being a parent? Why isnt this idea practiced in all aspects of commitment?

And to the guy who said marriage shows kids how things suppose to be. According to who? Like I said society norms, and what ppl who arent even in the unification. So again that just proves its done for status qou. If anything the only thing that truly bonds two ppl together is having kids. There is no seperation/divorce of being a mother/father. Until the day you die whether you married/single never be with the other person you will always have that bond of parents. even if its just from a biological standpoint you still are bonded regardless. Marriages/relationships arent forever. But if two ppl have a child that will always be there child. And they will always be parents, and will have that bond/connection due to the fact they have a child.

If i left my old lady or she left me, and we dated saw other ppl we will still have a bond etc due to us having kids. Am i not right? marriage isnt a commitment/pact/bond. Its merely a piece of paper that states that it is. Cause there is chance circumstances that makes this untrue. There is no chance circumstances in which you have a kid you arent the mother/father? Whether you a deadbeat mom/dad you still are bonded for life as a parent. Whether that bond is strong is another thing but that bond can never be erased.
 
  

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

 There is a reason why people don't do it that way and don't give me that "giving in to social norms and rituals" stuff.  If you don't believe a marriage or even a wedding is more than a title and a party then I feel sorry for you guys. 

Ok in your mind, what agenda does a wedding promote?

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

 There is a reason why people don't do it that way and don't give me that "giving in to social norms and rituals" stuff.  If you don't believe a marriage or even a wedding is more than a title and a party then I feel sorry for you guys. 

Ok in your mind, what agenda does a wedding promote?

 

[dathbgboy]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Dathbgboy

I love how dudes who never had a girlfriend or who aren't married have every opinion about marriage. Keep up the good job fellas.

Who do think in here have never had a girlfriend.

And why does someone not being married disqualify their opinion on the topic? Have you read LDJ's comments on it or do you not have anything solid to contribute. He is making some strong points. Just read them.

Why would someone who has never experienced marriage from a first person or even a close 3rd person e.g. parents bein married be qualified to tell ppl why they shouldn't. That's like sayin an album is trash but they never heard it before. I'll def go and read LDJ's comments, I'd just have to make a day out of it

. 
I feel that society has taken the sanctity out of marriage w/ prenups and everyone havin an "All about me attitude" Contracts give ppl a sense of "security" in a sense so there's no way around that in a sense. Ppl get married to build a strong family foundation w/ the person they feel they want to spend the rest of their lives with and to display their love for the other person in front of family and friends and whichever higher power they believe in. 

Many marriages end because of greed, selfishness, deceit, and because they married for the wrong reasons (she/he looks good and the sex is great) When u build something on an unstable foundation, it's not going to stand. If you build a house on unsettled soil, what happens to it? 

I hope a made sense. I'm getting ready for church so I'm in a rush to respond w/ some meat to the topic.

P.S. Today is my wife and I's 1yr wedding anniversary, 10yrs total

 

 

[dathbgboy]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Dathbgboy

I love how dudes who never had a girlfriend or who aren't married have every opinion about marriage. Keep up the good job fellas.

Who do think in here have never had a girlfriend.

And why does someone not being married disqualify their opinion on the topic? Have you read LDJ's comments on it or do you not have anything solid to contribute. He is making some strong points. Just read them.

Why would someone who has never experienced marriage from a first person or even a close 3rd person e.g. parents bein married be qualified to tell ppl why they shouldn't. That's like sayin an album is trash but they never heard it before. I'll def go and read LDJ's comments, I'd just have to make a day out of it

. 
I feel that society has taken the sanctity out of marriage w/ prenups and everyone havin an "All about me attitude" Contracts give ppl a sense of "security" in a sense so there's no way around that in a sense. Ppl get married to build a strong family foundation w/ the person they feel they want to spend the rest of their lives with and to display their love for the other person in front of family and friends and whichever higher power they believe in. 

Many marriages end because of greed, selfishness, deceit, and because they married for the wrong reasons (she/he looks good and the sex is great) When u build something on an unstable foundation, it's not going to stand. If you build a house on unsettled soil, what happens to it? 

I hope a made sense. I'm getting ready for church so I'm in a rush to respond w/ some meat to the topic.

P.S. Today is my wife and I's 1yr wedding anniversary, 10yrs total

 

 

[carver]

Originally Posted by Patrick Bateman

Originally Posted by Da R Entertainment

Originally Posted by ksteezy

perhaps the ideal of building a family with a strong foundation and setting an example for your future kids....

90% of dudes are blinded by the sexual/physical end of it all to be able to see what lies beneath....you wont stay young and fly forever kiddos...eventually you'll want a companion to grow old with.

 

[veryanalytical85]

See, I still don't get how so many people here advocate marriage as if it's a guarantee that everything is gonna be alright when it happens for you. More people than ever come from single parent (or divorced) backgrounds. They don't ask to be in that position... admittedly some do it for selfish gain, while others do it to get out of an abusive (or loveless) relationship. Also consider in American society, it doesn't seem a lot of people in our generation value the sanctity of marriage like they used to it. After reading this thread and many other relationship threads with the constant theme of "instant gratification" replaying over and over again.
So again... I ask all you NT'ers who are fortunate to find "the one" and etc. when it comes to getting married. How can I believe in something so sacred like marriage if I'll never be 100% certain, whether or not the woman I would like to marry would be on the same page as I do about marriage? I feel it's more of a gamble on the male end than the female (considering the lack of input from them).

Also to throw it in there, I've had girlfriends before and a few times things could have gotten serious. But with bad timing, immaturity and bunch of other extraneous variables things didn't work out. That doesn't mean I don't know what I want. Or, that I prefer to be forever stallone'd.

Ideally, I would like to settle down someday. But as I get older and more of my peers get "hitched or permanently attached without formality." I find myself having a tough time finding good quality prospect partners lately, due to the lack of maturity and direction a lot of females I've encountered thus far.

 

[veryanalytical85]

See, I still don't get how so many people here advocate marriage as if it's a guarantee that everything is gonna be alright when it happens for you. More people than ever come from single parent (or divorced) backgrounds. They don't ask to be in that position... admittedly some do it for selfish gain, while others do it to get out of an abusive (or loveless) relationship. Also consider in American society, it doesn't seem a lot of people in our generation value the sanctity of marriage like they used to it. After reading this thread and many other relationship threads with the constant theme of "instant gratification" replaying over and over again.
So again... I ask all you NT'ers who are fortunate to find "the one" and etc. when it comes to getting married. How can I believe in something so sacred like marriage if I'll never be 100% certain, whether or not the woman I would like to marry would be on the same page as I do about marriage? I feel it's more of a gamble on the male end than the female (considering the lack of input from them).

Also to throw it in there, I've had girlfriends before and a few times things could have gotten serious. But with bad timing, immaturity and bunch of other extraneous variables things didn't work out. That doesn't mean I don't know what I want. Or, that I prefer to be forever stallone'd.

Ideally, I would like to settle down someday. But as I get older and more of my peers get "hitched or permanently attached without formality." I find myself having a tough time finding good quality prospect partners lately, due to the lack of maturity and direction a lot of females I've encountered thus far.

 

[carver]

Originally Posted by Patrick Bateman

Originally Posted by Da R Entertainment

Originally Posted by ksteezy

perhaps the ideal of building a family with a strong foundation and setting an example for your future kids....

90% of dudes are blinded by the sexual/physical end of it all to be able to see what lies beneath....you wont stay young and fly forever kiddos...eventually you'll want a companion to grow old with.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

- What do you guys call each other when speaking/introducing to others...do you say "Hi this is my woman"...sounds classy.  I mean you can get sneaky and say "this is the love of my life" and people might assume you are married but that would go against what you believe in right?

- You don't have wedding rings.  Those rings aren't just a symbol of love for the couple but to show the world you are taken also.  That ring can prevent alot of unwanted convo sometimes.

- While you can have a verbal pact with your partner it's not the same as a marriage. That final step shows ultimate trust and "unconditional love".

- A wedding is a celebration of your love.  It's a day to show everyone who you might not see you on a daily basis how much you guys love one another.  It's a day for the 2 families to become 1.  I'm not even big on weddings but I understand what they are for.

- Are you raising your children to believe the same?  Or you don't really care how they go about it.  Would you feel comfortable with your daughter just living with some dude for years?


I would love to hear LDJ's woman on this topic and how she feels about it.  Not saying he's lying but he is making a complicated situation sound to easy.

1. This is _____ (Insert name). The same thing I would do for any other person I introduce. I never introduce anyone as, "My woman, GF, etc." I just say this is ____ insert name).

2.  I can simply say, "I am married." Only 3 words. Doesn't take much effort honestly man. I am not the cheating type dude, a ring really does nothing for me. I don't need a piece of jewlery to show the world that I am taken. If the conversation comes up, I would have no problem with letting someone know I am not interested. Not have the ring doesn't change anything.

3. Again, I don't believe in unconditional love. A marriage/wedding doesn't alter one's feelings towards another person. Not in my eyes it doesn't.

4. I am a very very very private person. I don't care about the fan fare of a wedding. So what if I never get a chance to show people I rarely see how much I love that woman. I don't look forward to it and I don't need it to validate anything about my life. But I am the same dude that wasn't going to even go to my college graduation because I didn't feel like sitting through it. But I did it for the folks that came and supported me. If it were up to me, I wouldn't have gone. Ceremonies don't matter to me man. It doesn't add to or take away from the journey. I UNDERSTAND what they are for, but they still don't matter TO ME.

5. I wouldn't raise my kids to think the same way, but they will know my thoughts on it when the time comes. If my daughter is with a man that is treating her right and not hitting, cheating, etc I don't care if he doesn't have a ceremony. I don't care if he doesn't marry her. Things like that don't matter to me as I said before.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

- What do you guys call each other when speaking/introducing to others...do you say "Hi this is my woman"...sounds classy.  I mean you can get sneaky and say "this is the love of my life" and people might assume you are married but that would go against what you believe in right?

- You don't have wedding rings.  Those rings aren't just a symbol of love for the couple but to show the world you are taken also.  That ring can prevent alot of unwanted convo sometimes.

- While you can have a verbal pact with your partner it's not the same as a marriage. That final step shows ultimate trust and "unconditional love".

- A wedding is a celebration of your love.  It's a day to show everyone who you might not see you on a daily basis how much you guys love one another.  It's a day for the 2 families to become 1.  I'm not even big on weddings but I understand what they are for.

- Are you raising your children to believe the same?  Or you don't really care how they go about it.  Would you feel comfortable with your daughter just living with some dude for years?


I would love to hear LDJ's woman on this topic and how she feels about it.  Not saying he's lying but he is making a complicated situation sound to easy.

1. This is _____ (Insert name). The same thing I would do for any other person I introduce. I never introduce anyone as, "My woman, GF, etc." I just say this is ____ insert name).

2.  I can simply say, "I am married." Only 3 words. Doesn't take much effort honestly man. I am not the cheating type dude, a ring really does nothing for me. I don't need a piece of jewlery to show the world that I am taken. If the conversation comes up, I would have no problem with letting someone know I am not interested. Not have the ring doesn't change anything.

3. Again, I don't believe in unconditional love. A marriage/wedding doesn't alter one's feelings towards another person. Not in my eyes it doesn't.

4. I am a very very very private person. I don't care about the fan fare of a wedding. So what if I never get a chance to show people I rarely see how much I love that woman. I don't look forward to it and I don't need it to validate anything about my life. But I am the same dude that wasn't going to even go to my college graduation because I didn't feel like sitting through it. But I did it for the folks that came and supported me. If it were up to me, I wouldn't have gone. Ceremonies don't matter to me man. It doesn't add to or take away from the journey. I UNDERSTAND what they are for, but they still don't matter TO ME.

5. I wouldn't raise my kids to think the same way, but they will know my thoughts on it when the time comes. If my daughter is with a man that is treating her right and not hitting, cheating, etc I don't care if he doesn't have a ceremony. I don't care if he doesn't marry her. Things like that don't matter to me as I said before.

 

[truthgetsbusy]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

 There is a reason why people don't do it that way and don't give me that "giving in to social norms and rituals" stuff.  If you don't believe a marriage or even a wedding is more than a title and a party then I feel sorry for you guys. 

Ok in your mind, what agenda does a wedding promote?

Don't let the mainstream media fool you homie.  A wedding and marriage is not all about the woman.  Any man that is with a "Bridezilla" is a damb fool anyways because I'm checking that non-sense at the door.   No matter how big or small the ceremony the point is to show your partner you are 100% in love and show the world you are commited to one another.  A bigger wedding also serves the purpose of bringing the families together because lets face it you probably wont get those people in the same room very often.  Don't you think its a good look for the people who raised you and love you to learn about your partner and their family also?  Also the whole ring thing is a symbol to the world and if you are 100% in love why would you have a problem wearing one?  Calling her your "Old Lady" has to get old at some point.

  

1. This is _____ (Insert name). The same thing I would do for any other person I introduce. I never introduce anyone as, "My woman, GF, etc." I just say this is ____ insert name).

2.  I can simply say, "I am married." Only 3 words. Doesn't take much effort honestly man. I am not the cheating type dude, a ring really does nothing for me. I don't need a piece of jewlery to show the world that I am taken. If the conversation comes up, I would have no problem with letting someone know I am not interested. Not have the ring doesn't change anything.

3. Again, I don't believe in unconditional love. A marriage/wedding doesn't alter one's feelings towards another person. Not in my eyes it doesn't.

4. I am a very very very private person. I don't care about the fan fare of a wedding. So what if I never get a chance to show people I rarely see how much I love that woman. I don't look forward to it and I don't need it to validate anything about my life. But I am the same dude that wasn't going to even go to my college graduation because I didn't feel like sitting through it. But I did it for the folks that came and supported me. If it were up to me, I wouldn't have gone. Ceremonies don't matter to me man. It doesn't add to or take away from the journey. I UNDERSTAND what they are for, but they still don't matter TO ME.

5. I wouldn't raise my kids to think the same way, but they will know my thoughts on it when the time comes. If my daughter is with a man that is treating her right and not hitting, cheating, etc I don't care if he doesn't have a ceremony. I don't care if he doesn't marry her. Things like that don't matter to me as I said before.



1. So if you introduce your female counterpart to a co-worker you will say "this is Lisa" and that's it? 

 What kind of respect do you have for her?  Doesn't she mean more to you that than? I'm not sure what world you live in but people are given names and titles when you introduce them.  ex.  "hi this is my brother Jason" or "hi this is Pete we went to college together".  Now how are you gonna spin this one with your girl of 15 years? 

2.  I was speaking to LDJ about his not married thing.  So I'm not even gonna argue the ring thing just a waste of time.

3. Whatever floats your boat

4. I can agree with you and have had similar thoughts but I never act upon and always have a great time when i go through with the experience.  Life is bigger than us and we aren't always right.  Believe it or not "walking across the stage" matters.  We have to get out our own bubble to realize that sometimes. 

5.  Whatever floats your boat.

 

[truthgetsbusy]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

 There is a reason why people don't do it that way and don't give me that "giving in to social norms and rituals" stuff.  If you don't believe a marriage or even a wedding is more than a title and a party then I feel sorry for you guys. 

Ok in your mind, what agenda does a wedding promote?

Don't let the mainstream media fool you homie.  A wedding and marriage is not all about the woman.  Any man that is with a "Bridezilla" is a damb fool anyways because I'm checking that non-sense at the door.   No matter how big or small the ceremony the point is to show your partner you are 100% in love and show the world you are commited to one another.  A bigger wedding also serves the purpose of bringing the families together because lets face it you probably wont get those people in the same room very often.  Don't you think its a good look for the people who raised you and love you to learn about your partner and their family also?  Also the whole ring thing is a symbol to the world and if you are 100% in love why would you have a problem wearing one?  Calling her your "Old Lady" has to get old at some point.

  

1. This is _____ (Insert name). The same thing I would do for any other person I introduce. I never introduce anyone as, "My woman, GF, etc." I just say this is ____ insert name).

2.  I can simply say, "I am married." Only 3 words. Doesn't take much effort honestly man. I am not the cheating type dude, a ring really does nothing for me. I don't need a piece of jewlery to show the world that I am taken. If the conversation comes up, I would have no problem with letting someone know I am not interested. Not have the ring doesn't change anything.

3. Again, I don't believe in unconditional love. A marriage/wedding doesn't alter one's feelings towards another person. Not in my eyes it doesn't.

4. I am a very very very private person. I don't care about the fan fare of a wedding. So what if I never get a chance to show people I rarely see how much I love that woman. I don't look forward to it and I don't need it to validate anything about my life. But I am the same dude that wasn't going to even go to my college graduation because I didn't feel like sitting through it. But I did it for the folks that came and supported me. If it were up to me, I wouldn't have gone. Ceremonies don't matter to me man. It doesn't add to or take away from the journey. I UNDERSTAND what they are for, but they still don't matter TO ME.

5. I wouldn't raise my kids to think the same way, but they will know my thoughts on it when the time comes. If my daughter is with a man that is treating her right and not hitting, cheating, etc I don't care if he doesn't have a ceremony. I don't care if he doesn't marry her. Things like that don't matter to me as I said before.



1. So if you introduce your female counterpart to a co-worker you will say "this is Lisa" and that's it? 

 What kind of respect do you have for her?  Doesn't she mean more to you that than? I'm not sure what world you live in but people are given names and titles when you introduce them.  ex.  "hi this is my brother Jason" or "hi this is Pete we went to college together".  Now how are you gonna spin this one with your girl of 15 years? 

2.  I was speaking to LDJ about his not married thing.  So I'm not even gonna argue the ring thing just a waste of time.

3. Whatever floats your boat

4. I can agree with you and have had similar thoughts but I never act upon and always have a great time when i go through with the experience.  Life is bigger than us and we aren't always right.  Believe it or not "walking across the stage" matters.  We have to get out our own bubble to realize that sometimes. 

5.  Whatever floats your boat.

 

[dathbgboy]

Originally Posted by VeryAnalytical85

See, I still don't get how so many people here advocate marriage as if it's a guarantee that everything is gonna be alright when it happens for you. More people than ever come from single parent (or divorced) backgrounds. They don't ask to be in that position... admittedly some do it for selfish gain, while others do it to get out of an abusive (or loveless) relationship. Also consider in American society, it doesn't seem a lot of people in our generation value the sanctity of marriage like they used to it. After reading this thread and many other relationship threads with the constant theme of "instant gratification" replaying over and over again.
So again... I ask all you NT'ers who are fortunate to find "the one" and etc. when it comes to getting married. How can I believe in something so sacred like marriage if I'll never be 100% certain, whether or not the woman I would like to marry would be on the same page as I do about marriage? I feel it's more of a gamble on the male end than the female (considering the lack of input from them).

Also to throw it in there, I've had girlfriends before and a few times things could have gotten serious. But with bad timing, immaturity and bunch of other extraneous variables things didn't work out. That doesn't mean I don't know what I want. Or, that I prefer to be forever stallone'd.

Ideally, I would like to settle down someday. But as I get older and more of my peers get "hitched or permanently attached without formality." I find myself having a tough time finding good quality prospect partners lately, due to the lack of maturity and direction a lot of females I've encountered thus far.

Dog you will never be 100% sure of anything in life. NEVER. That's like sayin something is perfect, which we all know can never be.
My philosophy to having a strong stable relationship is becoming friends first. Once sex is involved, it complicates things so that's why ppl never stay together long because after the sex gets repetitive, there's nothing keepin the relationship stable.