Whats a good Facebook Status Update?

[mitchellicious]

No turkey, unless it's a club sandwich.

 

[verdykt]

Originally Posted by atl2miasofly


Since a lot of these have been jacked from lamebook, let me bless yall with some originals: Self-proclaimed king of facebook...i been had statuses

...ohhhhhh...so the "double down" is a new sandwich @ KFC. I thought it might just be slang for a DP.

..have you ever almost fallen through a door when you attempted to push while the person on the other side pulled??? Happened for the first time in my life today. With as many doors as I have traveled through in my day, you would think this would happen more often.

...how come black people are always able to recognize and agree upon exactly what it means to "smell like outside." Does a black person's "outside" always smell the same???

...because of Arthur, I will never forget how to spell the word "aardvark." Unfortunately this status is probably the first time I have been able to showcase my skill. Well worth the wait.

instead of reading for my next class, I decided to watch the Chinese Basketball Association Slam Dunk Contest... I will never get those 9min and 32sec back. Got to question my decision making process with that one.
.
.. was I the only one who mistook Justin Bieber for Keisha Cole the first time his song came on the radio???

...if I hear one more n!99@ rapping about McDonald's breakfast...

...ALERT...if you are reading this and have ever used KGB to answer any of your questions, please remove me from your friends list. Theres this new fangled invention called the internet that can answer all your questions for FREE!!![h3][/h3]

Those suck

 

[c o ivi p l e x]

Originally Posted by Verdykt

Originally Posted by atl2miasofly


Since a lot of these have been jacked from lamebook, let me bless yall with some originals: Self-proclaimed king of facebook...i been had statuses

...ohhhhhh...so the "double down" is a new sandwich @ KFC. I thought it might just be slang for a DP.

..have you ever almost fallen through a door when you attempted to push while the person on the other side pulled??? Happened for the first time in my life today. With as many doors as I have traveled through in my day, you would think this would happen more often.

...how come black people are always able to recognize and agree upon exactly what it means to "smell like outside." Does a black person's "outside" always smell the same???

...because of Arthur, I will never forget how to spell the word "aardvark." Unfortunately this status is probably the first time I have been able to showcase my skill. Well worth the wait.

instead of reading for my next class, I decided to watch the Chinese Basketball Association Slam Dunk Contest... I will never get those 9min and 32sec back. Got to question my decision making process with that one.
.
.. was I the only one who mistook Justin Bieber for Keisha Cole the first time his song came on the radio???

...if I hear one more n!99@ rapping about McDonald's breakfast...

...ALERT...if you are reading this and have ever used KGB to answer any of your questions, please remove me from your friends list. Theres this new fangled invention called the internet that can answer all your questions for FREE!!![h3][/h3]

Those suck

i'm saying.

 

[aaf703]

Originally Posted by I Live In Texas

That Barnes&Noble one is hilarious. Lol


"I wanted to feed the ducks at the pond today, but the only bread I had was in my wallet."

idk why this one made me

 ima use it

     

 

[ill w1lliam]

-You know why they call it a crap? Because the guy that started selling toilets was named Thomas Crapper
-Just installed Norton Internet Security it found 20 cookies just 4 shy of two dozen if only they were edible
-I need a staycation you know when you go on a vacation but never come back
-Will C is taking a shizzle washington posting from the toilet shouts out to padded toilet seats!

 

[dunks87]

...is dropping the kids off at the pool.

saw that on some random status. Too gross but guys can get away with saying these things.

 

[rook]

Originally Posted by raptors29

I used the "Titanic syncing" one. Folks started calling me lame

Ditto man

 

[rook]

Can someone explain to me whats an "Waka Flaka"?

Will get you 10 comments instantly lmao

 

[cbello03]

Whats the difference between partly cloudy and mostly sunny

 

[cbello03]

"what is the freakiest thing you have had done to you?" - this got me 70+ comments

"A fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says *%%......."

 

[verdykt]

Originally Posted by C o IVI p L e X

Originally Posted by Verdykt

Originally Posted by atl2miasofly


Since a lot of these have been jacked from lamebook, let me bless yall with some originals: Self-proclaimed king of facebook...i been had statuses

...ohhhhhh...so the "double down" is a new sandwich @ KFC. I thought it might just be slang for a DP.

..have you ever almost fallen through a door when you attempted to push while the person on the other side pulled??? Happened for the first time in my life today. With as many doors as I have traveled through in my day, you would think this would happen more often.

...how come black people are always able to recognize and agree upon exactly what it means to "smell like outside." Does a black person's "outside" always smell the same???

...because of Arthur, I will never forget how to spell the word "aardvark." Unfortunately this status is probably the first time I have been able to showcase my skill. Well worth the wait.

instead of reading for my next class, I decided to watch the Chinese Basketball Association Slam Dunk Contest... I will never get those 9min and 32sec back. Got to question my decision making process with that one.
.
.. was I the only one who mistook Justin Bieber for Keisha Cole the first time his song came on the radio???

...if I hear one more n!99@ rapping about McDonald's breakfast...

...ALERT...if you are reading this and have ever used KGB to answer any of your questions, please remove me from your friends list. Theres this new fangled invention called the internet that can answer all your questions for FREE!!![h3][/h3]

Those suck

i'm saying.

Dude probably "liked" each and every one of his own statuses too.

 

[flaming hot cheetos]

you guys are lammmmmmme.  fishing for attention/comments FTL

 

[mr fizzy womack]

I thought this looked familiar:

 

[da r entertainment]

Originally Posted by Flaming Hot Cheetos

you guys are lammmmmmme.  fishing for attention/comments FTL

It's called having fun which seems to be a lost art this days.  Now that's

 

[young street86]

Originally Posted by atl2miasofly


Since a lot of these have been jacked from lamebook, let me bless yall with some originals: Self-proclaimed king of facebook...i been had statuses

...ohhhhhh...so the "double down" is a new sandwich @ KFC. I thought it might just be slang for a DP.

..have you ever almost fallen through a door when you attempted to push while the person on the other side pulled??? Happened for the first time in my life today. With as many doors as I have traveled through in my day, you would think this would happen more often.

...how come black people are always able to recognize and agree upon exactly what it means to "smell like outside." Does a black person's "outside" always smell the same???

...because of Arthur, I will never forget how to spell the word "aardvark." Unfortunately this status is probably the first time I have been able to showcase my skill. Well worth the wait.

instead of reading for my next class, I decided to watch the Chinese Basketball Association Slam Dunk Contest... I will never get those 9min and 32sec back. Got to question my decision making process with that one.
.
.. was I the only one who mistook Justin Bieber for Keisha Cole the first time his song came on the radio???

...if I hear one more n!99@ rapping about McDonald's breakfast...

...ALERT...if you are reading this and have ever used KGB to answer any of your questions, please remove me from your friends list. Theres this new fangled invention called the internet that can answer all your questions for FREE!!![h3][/h3]

edit: i suck at embeding, 

 

[starzinoureyes]

"just found a penny in my bed. so what are the chances of me getting lucky?"

i was pretty proud of myself for that one

 

[atl2miasofly]

Ouch... the nike talk virgins out there can be vicious.  To each their own I guess... no retort...i actually have better things to do...like women.

 

[seventh letter]

Originally Posted by atl2miasofly

Ouch... the nike talk virgins out there can be vicious.  To each their own I guess... no retort...i actually have better things to do...like women.

Don't be mad 'cus you came in here feeling yourself super hard with those wack #@* updates. You even have a corny comeback. Just stop while you're already behind, bro.

 

[calypso chanta]

couple peeps lol'd at the titanic one.

 

[nevik21]

-just donated blood and needs to check if he can still hold an erection.

-if i could die and come back as any animal, i would be myself....in bed.

-just found out that someone hacked his profile and deleted all the hot chicks :-(

-A recent survey shows that 9 out of 10 men prefer big boobs. The 10th man just prefers the other 9 men.

-women should only know 70 things in this life; how to cook and 69.

-Can you imagine a world without men?  No crimes and lots of happy fat women.

-good morning, I see the assassins have failed.

Just a few ive used over the past couple of months.  all has gotten great response.

 

[geoffroretro]

forget studying 2012 is around the corner

 

[raptors29]

Originally Posted by Nevik21


-just donated blood and needs to check if he can still hold an erection.

-if i could die and come back as any animal, i would be myself....in bed.

-just found out that someone hacked his profile and deleted all the hot chicks :-(

-A recent survey shows that 9 out of 10 men prefer big boobs. The 10th man just prefers the other 9 men.

-women should only know 70 things in this life; how to cook and 69.

-Can you imagine a world without men?  No crimes and lots of happy fat women.

-good morning, I see the assassins have failed.

Just a few ive used over the past couple of months.  all has gotten great response.

 

[dusty jordans]

Originally Posted by Nevik21


-just donated blood and needs to check if he can still hold an erection.

-if i could die and come back as any animal, i would be myself....in bed.

ima give these two a try one day

 

[jretro23]

def. gonna use the animal one

 

[smoothrick007]