Your Girl wants to have a baby... But you don't... What next??? (UPDATE PG 5)

[DCAllAfrican]

Don't give her a baby. You might hate that child man. Real talk family.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Don't give her a baby. You might hate that child man. Real talk family.

 

[manglor]

Originally Posted by throwback1718

well therapy is definitely something that she isn't interested in at all. She states,
"why should we go pay someone to tell me something that wont change my mind anyway? Its a waste of money"

I tried to convince her by saying "If you really want this relationship to work, then you would to couples therapy"

Her response was " I would only go to therapy with someone that I am married to. And why would I go to therapy with someone that was willing to let me walk away from the relationship instead, of just having a baby now?"

I flipped out because that sounded so ridiculous and selfish in my opinion.

I tried ya'll

Bah.

Give it up bro.

You tried pretty hard. You didn't want to leave her but she wants EVERYTHING her way and doesn't care what you think/need/feel/want. It almost sounds like she doesn't care about you at this point. You are just her sperm donor and bankroll for rasing her replacement kid. I would bet a therapist would say something along the lines of her resenting you for not wanting a kid in the first place before the tragic stuff happened. Don't take this the wrong way cause it's not in anyway the same level of pain or even comparable that way but it's like when your pet dies and instead of getting thru the loss you just go to the pound and grab another one. It's not healthy. The reason so is so against the idea of counseling is because she KNOWS damn well what she is doing is wrong and any professional would tell her that. The biggest concern would be is something unthinkable happened again and she lost another child after having never properly dealt with the loss of the first. She'd lose it, all the grief all at once could be too much.

Just be real with her and say something along the lines of if she is not willing to try and work through things and if YOU aren't enough to make her happy for even just a couple years before having a kid then why do something that would make you stay together for a lifetime.

  

 

[manglor]

Originally Posted by throwback1718

well therapy is definitely something that she isn't interested in at all. She states,
"why should we go pay someone to tell me something that wont change my mind anyway? Its a waste of money"

I tried to convince her by saying "If you really want this relationship to work, then you would to couples therapy"

Her response was " I would only go to therapy with someone that I am married to. And why would I go to therapy with someone that was willing to let me walk away from the relationship instead, of just having a baby now?"

I flipped out because that sounded so ridiculous and selfish in my opinion.

I tried ya'll

Bah.

Give it up bro.

You tried pretty hard. You didn't want to leave her but she wants EVERYTHING her way and doesn't care what you think/need/feel/want. It almost sounds like she doesn't care about you at this point. You are just her sperm donor and bankroll for rasing her replacement kid. I would bet a therapist would say something along the lines of her resenting you for not wanting a kid in the first place before the tragic stuff happened. Don't take this the wrong way cause it's not in anyway the same level of pain or even comparable that way but it's like when your pet dies and instead of getting thru the loss you just go to the pound and grab another one. It's not healthy. The reason so is so against the idea of counseling is because she KNOWS damn well what she is doing is wrong and any professional would tell her that. The biggest concern would be is something unthinkable happened again and she lost another child after having never properly dealt with the loss of the first. She'd lose it, all the grief all at once could be too much.

Just be real with her and say something along the lines of if she is not willing to try and work through things and if YOU aren't enough to make her happy for even just a couple years before having a kid then why do something that would make you stay together for a lifetime.

  

 

[dirtylicious]

I would only go to therapy with someone that I am married to.

pretty silly... I think a lot of couples should go to counseling BEFORE they are married... it would save many marriages from divorces.

sorry OP.. I feel for your situation.

seems like the only thing you can do is go to counseling by yourself.
perhaps with you going to therapy by yourself, she may realize how serious the situation is. Not likely, but worst case scenario...the therapist may provide with a better approach to her situation and her demands.

 

[dirtylicious]

I would only go to therapy with someone that I am married to.

pretty silly... I think a lot of couples should go to counseling BEFORE they are married... it would save many marriages from divorces.

sorry OP.. I feel for your situation.

seems like the only thing you can do is go to counseling by yourself.
perhaps with you going to therapy by yourself, she may realize how serious the situation is. Not likely, but worst case scenario...the therapist may provide with a better approach to her situation and her demands.

 

[gottabdashoes]

In the catholic church and in the Marines, people are strongly encouraged to go to counseling before wedding. Sometimes it helps mend broken bridges that you thought were non-existent.

Sounds to me like your girl is very selfish. Look on the bright side, you don't have any strings holding you down. You're free to come and go as you please. Easier said than done though when you still have feelings for her. I wish you the best my dude.

 

[gottabdashoes]

In the catholic church and in the Marines, people are strongly encouraged to go to counseling before wedding. Sometimes it helps mend broken bridges that you thought were non-existent.

Sounds to me like your girl is very selfish. Look on the bright side, you don't have any strings holding you down. You're free to come and go as you please. Easier said than done though when you still have feelings for her. I wish you the best my dude.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Update? Hope you are ok OP

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Update? Hope you are ok OP

 

[club29]

Originally Posted by throwback1718

well therapy is definitely something that she isn't interested in at all. She states,
"why should we go pay someone to tell me something that wont change my mind anyway? Its a waste of money"

I tried to convince her by saying "If you really want this relationship to work, then you would to couples therapy"

Her response was " I would only go to therapy with someone that I am married to. And why would I go to therapy with someone that was willing to let me walk away from the relationship instead, of just having a baby now?"

I flipped out because that sounded so ridiculous and selfish in my opinion.

I tried ya'll

awful man....


You dont deserve this nonsense.

Sometimes the right choices are the most difficult.

You KNOW what you have to do at this point...

  

 

[club29]

Originally Posted by throwback1718

well therapy is definitely something that she isn't interested in at all. She states,
"why should we go pay someone to tell me something that wont change my mind anyway? Its a waste of money"

I tried to convince her by saying "If you really want this relationship to work, then you would to couples therapy"

Her response was " I would only go to therapy with someone that I am married to. And why would I go to therapy with someone that was willing to let me walk away from the relationship instead, of just having a baby now?"

I flipped out because that sounded so ridiculous and selfish in my opinion.

I tried ya'll

awful man....


You dont deserve this nonsense.

Sometimes the right choices are the most difficult.

You KNOW what you have to do at this point...

  

 

[chinelasone]

Just bounce.

 

[chinelasone]

Just bounce.

 

[T0INE]

Originally Posted by Club29

Originally Posted by throwback1718

well therapy is definitely something that she isn't interested in at all. She states,
"why should we go pay someone to tell me something that wont change my mind anyway? Its a waste of money"

I tried to convince her by saying "If you really want this relationship to work, then you would to couples therapy"

Her response was " I would only go to therapy with someone that I am married to. And why would I go to therapy with someone that was willing to let me walk away from the relationship instead, of just having a baby now?"

I flipped out because that sounded so ridiculous and selfish in my opinion.

I tried ya'll

awful man....


You dont deserve this nonsense.

Sometimes the right choices are the most difficult.

You KNOW what you have to do at this point...

  

This.
  

 

[T0INE]

Originally Posted by Club29

Originally Posted by throwback1718

well therapy is definitely something that she isn't interested in at all. She states,
"why should we go pay someone to tell me something that wont change my mind anyway? Its a waste of money"

I tried to convince her by saying "If you really want this relationship to work, then you would to couples therapy"

Her response was " I would only go to therapy with someone that I am married to. And why would I go to therapy with someone that was willing to let me walk away from the relationship instead, of just having a baby now?"

I flipped out because that sounded so ridiculous and selfish in my opinion.

I tried ya'll

awful man....


You dont deserve this nonsense.

Sometimes the right choices are the most difficult.

You KNOW what you have to do at this point...

  

This.
  

 

[itsgettinhot]

Originally Posted by throwback1718

well therapy is definitely something that she isn't interested in at all. She states,
"why should we go pay someone to tell me something that wont change my mind anyway? Its a waste of money"

I tried to convince her by saying "If you really want this relationship to work, then you would to couples therapy"

Her response was " I would only go to therapy with someone that I am married to. And why would I go to therapy with someone that was willing to let me walk away from the relationship instead, of just having a baby now?"

I flipped out because that sounded so ridiculous and selfish in my opinion.

I tried ya'll

It sounds like she's in a very fragile emotional state.

Or she's a

idiot.

You gotta figure out which one, cuz that's 2 very different solutions.

 

[itsgettinhot]

Originally Posted by throwback1718

well therapy is definitely something that she isn't interested in at all. She states,
"why should we go pay someone to tell me something that wont change my mind anyway? Its a waste of money"

I tried to convince her by saying "If you really want this relationship to work, then you would to couples therapy"

Her response was " I would only go to therapy with someone that I am married to. And why would I go to therapy with someone that was willing to let me walk away from the relationship instead, of just having a baby now?"

I flipped out because that sounded so ridiculous and selfish in my opinion.

I tried ya'll

It sounds like she's in a very fragile emotional state.

Or she's a

idiot.

You gotta figure out which one, cuz that's 2 very different solutions.