Originally Posted by throwback1718
A brief little background on this...
I made a post on here in mid to late May of this year about my son passing on. Some may remember.
Since then, she has been feeling to have another baby.
In the first place, when she was first prego I didn't wanna have a kid... I'm more or less thinking about being done with my degree and having a steady job in order before I try to have a kid. Anyhow she got prego. long story short, we lost lil Nas.
And I took it as a sign from a higher power that this wasnt the time. MAYBE I should actually WAIT till I was actually ready to have a kid to go out and make one. I was thinking between 2 and 5 years I would possibly be where I want to be (financially and mentally) when I have my next kid.
She wants one 6 months from now to a year and a half. This is putting a TERRIBLE strain on the relationship and this has come up several times before and even a couple minutes ago. There will NEVER be peace because she is NOT gonna be okay with things going "my way" and not hers.
How would you dudes handle this? Keep in mind, shorty IS the type of chick you wanna have a kid with sometime and you've been with her for 3 years, many ups and downs...
Do you move on to the next one? Try to compromise? Does a deep relationship REALLY have to end due to perceptions of when to have a kid?
Input please
Originally Posted by throwback1718
A brief little background on this...
I made a post on here in mid to late May of this year about my son passing on. Some may remember.
Since then, she has been feeling to have another baby.
In the first place, when she was first prego I didn't wanna have a kid... I'm more or less thinking about being done with my degree and having a steady job in order before I try to have a kid. Anyhow she got prego. long story short, we lost lil Nas.
And I took it as a sign from a higher power that this wasnt the time. MAYBE I should actually WAIT till I was actually ready to have a kid to go out and make one. I was thinking between 2 and 5 years I would possibly be where I want to be (financially and mentally) when I have my next kid.
She wants one 6 months from now to a year and a half. This is putting a TERRIBLE strain on the relationship and this has come up several times before and even a couple minutes ago. There will NEVER be peace because she is NOT gonna be okay with things going "my way" and not hers.
How would you dudes handle this? Keep in mind, shorty IS the type of chick you wanna have a kid with sometime and you've been with her for 3 years, many ups and downs...
Do you move on to the next one? Try to compromise? Does a deep relationship REALLY have to end due to perceptions of when to have a kid?
Input please
gotta knows what hes talking aboutOriginally Posted by GottaBdaShoes
Originally Posted by throwback1718
A brief little background on this...
I made a post on here in mid to late May of this year about my son passing on. Some may remember.
Since then, she has been feeling to have another baby.
In the first place, when she was first prego I didn't wanna have a kid... I'm more or less thinking about being done with my degree and having a steady job in order before I try to have a kid. Anyhow she got prego. long story short, we lost lil Nas.
And I took it as a sign from a higher power that this wasnt the time. MAYBE I should actually WAIT till I was actually ready to have a kid to go out and make one. I was thinking between 2 and 5 years I would possibly be where I want to be (financially and mentally) when I have my next kid.
She wants one 6 months from now to a year and a half. This is putting a TERRIBLE strain on the relationship and this has come up several times before and even a couple minutes ago. There will NEVER be peace because she is NOT gonna be okay with things going "my way" and not hers.
How would you dudes handle this? Keep in mind, shorty IS the type of chick you wanna have a kid with sometime and you've been with her for 3 years, many ups and downs...
Do you move on to the next one? Try to compromise? Does a deep relationship REALLY have to end due to perceptions of when to have a kid?
Input please
First off, my condolences for your loss.
A lot of the replies in here say things like "dump her" and "do you" and that type of BS. It's easy to say that when you're on the outside and don't have consequences to face. Grow up people. Put yourself in his shoes. It's not that hard to imagine.
My dude, you seem to have a grown man attitude which I can truly respect because most dudes don't think this way. They just look for a selfish way out. Obviously you care about the woman. My opinion on the matter would be for you to talk to her face to face IN DETAIL in order for there not to be any confusion about what each of you wants right now. Without screaming or arguing. In this case, I think it's important that you treat the matter more logically than emotional. Don't completely leave emotions out though. Lay out the plan that you have and let it make perfect sense to her. Tell her it's not just your way but the way that would benefit the both of you in the long run. Reassure her that you will not leave her. Let her know that you need to get your ducks in order before starting something as serious as a family again. Plus, if you're not ready emotionally because of your loss, you shouldn't dare start anything.
It really sounds to me like your girl is doing one of two things. She might be trying to keep you since you might be a good dude in her eyes and she fears losing you. She doesn't want to be "alone". Second, she might be trying to cope with the fact that she lost her son by replacing him with another child. This is a very serious matter and you should persuade her to see a therapist. Maybe even make her feel comfortable by going together. No joke. This type of thing can lead to serious issues like depression. It can even affect health. She might still be in a stage of shock.
To sum it all up..
Do not let someone pressure you to do something that you don't want to do. No matter how much they say they care about you. If they truly care about you, they will respect and see the reasonability in your choices. You get one shot at this life. It's your life, not anyone else's. That's my word homie.
gotta knows what hes talking aboutOriginally Posted by GottaBdaShoes
Originally Posted by throwback1718
A brief little background on this...
I made a post on here in mid to late May of this year about my son passing on. Some may remember.
Since then, she has been feeling to have another baby.
In the first place, when she was first prego I didn't wanna have a kid... I'm more or less thinking about being done with my degree and having a steady job in order before I try to have a kid. Anyhow she got prego. long story short, we lost lil Nas.
And I took it as a sign from a higher power that this wasnt the time. MAYBE I should actually WAIT till I was actually ready to have a kid to go out and make one. I was thinking between 2 and 5 years I would possibly be where I want to be (financially and mentally) when I have my next kid.
She wants one 6 months from now to a year and a half. This is putting a TERRIBLE strain on the relationship and this has come up several times before and even a couple minutes ago. There will NEVER be peace because she is NOT gonna be okay with things going "my way" and not hers.
How would you dudes handle this? Keep in mind, shorty IS the type of chick you wanna have a kid with sometime and you've been with her for 3 years, many ups and downs...
Do you move on to the next one? Try to compromise? Does a deep relationship REALLY have to end due to perceptions of when to have a kid?
Input please
First off, my condolences for your loss.
A lot of the replies in here say things like "dump her" and "do you" and that type of BS. It's easy to say that when you're on the outside and don't have consequences to face. Grow up people. Put yourself in his shoes. It's not that hard to imagine.
My dude, you seem to have a grown man attitude which I can truly respect because most dudes don't think this way. They just look for a selfish way out. Obviously you care about the woman. My opinion on the matter would be for you to talk to her face to face IN DETAIL in order for there not to be any confusion about what each of you wants right now. Without screaming or arguing. In this case, I think it's important that you treat the matter more logically than emotional. Don't completely leave emotions out though. Lay out the plan that you have and let it make perfect sense to her. Tell her it's not just your way but the way that would benefit the both of you in the long run. Reassure her that you will not leave her. Let her know that you need to get your ducks in order before starting something as serious as a family again. Plus, if you're not ready emotionally because of your loss, you shouldn't dare start anything.
It really sounds to me like your girl is doing one of two things. She might be trying to keep you since you might be a good dude in her eyes and she fears losing you. She doesn't want to be "alone". Second, she might be trying to cope with the fact that she lost her son by replacing him with another child. This is a very serious matter and you should persuade her to see a therapist. Maybe even make her feel comfortable by going together. No joke. This type of thing can lead to serious issues like depression. It can even affect health. She might still be in a stage of shock.
To sum it all up..
Do not let someone pressure you to do something that you don't want to do. No matter how much they say they care about you. If they truly care about you, they will respect and see the reasonability in your choices. You get one shot at this life. It's your life, not anyone else's. That's my word homie.
Originally Posted by Mr Jordan04
Originally Posted by Mr Jordan04
