Your Girl wants to have a baby... But you don't... What next??? (UPDATE PG 5)

[dunks87]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

tell her she needs to go to counseling.
having another baby won't fill the void

Sounds logical but she will take offense and might make things worse. Because (to her) you are calling her crazy.

maybe you all could do couple counseling. I'm sure there are a lot of pent up emotions and grief that you guys are not tapping into. y'all need time to heal.

 

[dunks87]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

tell her she needs to go to counseling.
having another baby won't fill the void

Sounds logical but she will take offense and might make things worse. Because (to her) you are calling her crazy.

maybe you all could do couple counseling. I'm sure there are a lot of pent up emotions and grief that you guys are not tapping into. y'all need time to heal.

 

[dirtylicious]

..suggesting counseling is not telling someone they are crazy.

 

[dirtylicious]

..suggesting counseling is not telling someone they are crazy.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

tell her she needs to go to counseling.
having another baby won't fill the void

Sounds logical but she will take offense and might make things worse. Because (to her) you are calling her crazy.

Man, if you don't want a baby, don't buss in her. Condom on or not. Point blank and throw away your own condoms. She might pull a fast one.

Never said he IS calling her crazy, I said To her, he might be telling her that she is crazy and/or has a problem. (Interpretation). Which she PROBABLY will take offense. How many people in this world are able to take a comment like that for what it actually is? Not many.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

tell her she needs to go to counseling.
having another baby won't fill the void

Sounds logical but she will take offense and might make things worse. Because (to her) you are calling her crazy.

Man, if you don't want a baby, don't buss in her. Condom on or not. Point blank and throw away your own condoms. She might pull a fast one.

Never said he IS calling her crazy, I said To her, he might be telling her that she is crazy and/or has a problem. (Interpretation). Which she PROBABLY will take offense. How many people in this world are able to take a comment like that for what it actually is? Not many.

 

[crumbs]

she waits or you move on.

 

[crumbs]

she waits or you move on.

 

[ndizzle23]

listen to the people of NT

If YOU cannot have a baby, DO NOT have that baby.
KEY WORDS: DO NOT

 

[ndizzle23]

listen to the people of NT

If YOU cannot have a baby, DO NOT have that baby.
KEY WORDS: DO NOT

 

[nothin4ever]

 

[nothin4ever]

 

[wraith aka invincible]

you need to talk to her.  first ask why she feels the way she does, then gradually tell her how you feel

 

[wraith aka invincible]

you need to talk to her.  first ask why she feels the way she does, then gradually tell her how you feel

 

[Mark Antony]

I'm on the wait till you're established and ready boat. But speaking with pops, he told me this is the best time to do it. And thinking about it, most successful established older folk i know had their kids before they got to this point. Maybe there's an extra element in having kids before you get to where you want to be, extra motivation to claim your piece of this earth, not just for you anymore.

 

[Mark Antony]

I'm on the wait till you're established and ready boat. But speaking with pops, he told me this is the best time to do it. And thinking about it, most successful established older folk i know had their kids before they got to this point. Maybe there's an extra element in having kids before you get to where you want to be, extra motivation to claim your piece of this earth, not just for you anymore.

 

[throwback1718]

this is the thing... Ive gone about this many ways and tried many different angles that you dudes are presenting. Remember Ive said that we have talked about this several times before.

In any case if it were to go TOTALLY my way, I would Have a baby in 4 or 5 years. But since she wants one way sooner, i even suggested that we have one in 2 years minimum. I feel that i am trying to meet her half way but she wont bend.

Her losing the first one definitely had an impact. Obviously Ive asked her and she said no. WHich I dont believe.
Ive even suggested that we go counseling for help. She doesnt feel SHE needs it, whether its relationship wise or dealing with the loss of the baby and that I can go if I want. But she didnt flip out or anything like that.

no she didnt say that GOD told her. But with her its like a "WE will cross that bridge when we get to it" Type of outlook
I dont feel any comfort with that

Ive tried almost every angle I can think of to approach this with. Ive been dealing with this for a couple months now. Thats why I posted on here.

 

[throwback1718]

this is the thing... Ive gone about this many ways and tried many different angles that you dudes are presenting. Remember Ive said that we have talked about this several times before.

In any case if it were to go TOTALLY my way, I would Have a baby in 4 or 5 years. But since she wants one way sooner, i even suggested that we have one in 2 years minimum. I feel that i am trying to meet her half way but she wont bend.

Her losing the first one definitely had an impact. Obviously Ive asked her and she said no. WHich I dont believe.
Ive even suggested that we go counseling for help. She doesnt feel SHE needs it, whether its relationship wise or dealing with the loss of the baby and that I can go if I want. But she didnt flip out or anything like that.

no she didnt say that GOD told her. But with her its like a "WE will cross that bridge when we get to it" Type of outlook
I dont feel any comfort with that

Ive tried almost every angle I can think of to approach this with. Ive been dealing with this for a couple months now. Thats why I posted on here.

 

[optimusprimeaphia]

Theres enough posts in here to basically say...




...your chick is wildin.

 

[optimusprimeaphia]

Theres enough posts in here to basically say...




...your chick is wildin.

 

[fl0eticnostalgia]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

tell her she needs to go to counseling.
having another baby won't fill the void

This. It's exactly what she's trying to do. Counseling is the only solution.

 

[fl0eticnostalgia]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

tell her she needs to go to counseling.
having another baby won't fill the void

This. It's exactly what she's trying to do. Counseling is the only solution.

 

[popcornplaya]

Originally Posted by throwback1718

In any case if it were to go TOTALLY my way, I would Have a baby in 4 or 5 years. But since she wants one way sooner, i even suggested that we have one in 2 years minimum. I feel that i am trying to meet her half way but she wont bend.

Her losing the first one definitely had an impact. Obviously Ive asked her and she said no. WHich I dont believe.
Ive even suggested that we go counseling for help. She doesnt feel SHE needs it, whether its relationship wise or dealing with the loss of the baby and that I can go if I want. But she didnt flip out or anything like that.

Then place it on you. Say that if you're going to have a baby so soon after the tragedy that y'all had to endure, you want to go to counseling to get all of your emotions out. And tell her that you want her to fully participate too, because if you're still feeling grief over it, she has to be as well.

Make yourself the focus. Say something like if she's unwilling to attend counseling with you, then how can you expect her to parent with you as well. Women love that if you're not with me, you're against me type logic.

 

[popcornplaya]

Originally Posted by throwback1718

In any case if it were to go TOTALLY my way, I would Have a baby in 4 or 5 years. But since she wants one way sooner, i even suggested that we have one in 2 years minimum. I feel that i am trying to meet her half way but she wont bend.

Her losing the first one definitely had an impact. Obviously Ive asked her and she said no. WHich I dont believe.
Ive even suggested that we go counseling for help. She doesnt feel SHE needs it, whether its relationship wise or dealing with the loss of the baby and that I can go if I want. But she didnt flip out or anything like that.

Then place it on you. Say that if you're going to have a baby so soon after the tragedy that y'all had to endure, you want to go to counseling to get all of your emotions out. And tell her that you want her to fully participate too, because if you're still feeling grief over it, she has to be as well.

Make yourself the focus. Say something like if she's unwilling to attend counseling with you, then how can you expect her to parent with you as well. Women love that if you're not with me, you're against me type logic.

 

[throwback1718]

Ill try it again. But I am not sure how much it would work. Since I tried it before.

I also forgot to mention that SHE wants to end the relationship because of this.
She claims she wont be satisfied OR happy knowing that we are in a relationship together. She believes there is no compromise on this one. Its either BABY or not. There is no in between. If we wait, things will be my way... She feels that its my way its going