Advice needed Vol Blood is thicker then water? in a pickle

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

I would take that plane ride down there ASAP and handle that in person. On your way back to MD you would know which direction things are heading. It's your mom, so $$$ for a plane ticket on what could be a major decision in your life is nothing.


You could force her to sell the house to you and sign it over so YOU are in charge of the mortgage/payments or just bounce.


Blood is thicker than water until things hit the fan, then it's every man(woman) for themselves. Unfortunately loyalty seems to be a rare quality these days.

 

[jhawk826]

That whole "but it's your mother" **** is overrated.

Worry about you and your sis cause she clearly isn't.

stop you guys
How was the relationship with your mother the last couple months??
I feel your hesitation. If she cared about you in the past why would she even consider doing this.
Maybe she got into some trouble (with her new husband). Try and talk to her first. Face to face none of that bul****.

There are a lot of mothers who throw their kids out on the streets to fend for themselves after they turn 18 after caring for them in the past. Just because she's your mom doesn't mean that she's immune from being a delinquent. I understand that some of you on NT were raised by single mothers, but this type of thinking that they can do no wrong has to stop.

62K/year is just ok money?

 

[joepac12]

op i stay in towson..come round here...honestly if that was me i might pay off the 9000 and get the house put in my name...renting is cool but if your making decent money i would attempt to salvage the house for future generations instead of dipping...your mom is in the wrong but sometimes we all have to pick up slack for family...

 

[kspar]

i'm willing to bet money that her new husband is to blame for this.

this this this!

 

[milestailsprowe]

I say solo dolo this. she has not been paying the bills and more for 9 months. Just don't make this any harder. You did what you could.

That blood thicker than water line is BS. Bloo will hurt you more then your friends

 

[iblink]

How'd "keeping it short" work out for you

But as some have probably already said, the fact that your mother isn't answering the phone or calling you back to try to work something out speaks volumes to her character. It's not even what you should do as her son, but what you should do as a person who was frauded. Leave the house, leave your mom, and don't turn back. You have to live your own life. One day you can start your own family instead of being burdened by the one you already have.

 

[gatzbygordon]

do your own thing, you dont owe your mom anything now..dont apologize either it was her house she should've been paying for it, not her kid that did her the favor so she can figure out her own thing, obviously she was selfish man...its time to leave the nest, dont lose touch with your mom but also dont let her treat you like wee bays lady did to naymond..lol, if she is gonna hate you forever cuz of that then just call her and tell her you love her everynow and then to see if shes ok.

 

[jayhood23]

Thanks for the advice guys. Makes me feel like i am actually making the right decision. In my head i keep saying "But its your mom....how can you do that to your mom". But that's just a cop out.

Last month she needed money for the mortgage. I asked what happened to the money i sent you. She said she had a doctors issue and had to use it for that. So i asked what she needed. The mortgage was due that day. I sent her $700. Direct transfer to her account. She texted me the next day saying "Thank you I got the payment in we are good"

I understand you might feel like you're doing your mom wrong but she is taking $ from you and on top of that she blatantly lied about it. You have to think what if you didn't get that notice and went about still sending her $ and one day out the blue they come and evict you and your sister. She put you and your sister in a potentially homeless situation and still hasn't mentioned anything about it.

Just confront her about it and tell her you plan, best way to deal with it is to inform her so she knows that you're on to her.

Its a long shot but maybe she'll try and repay you for the $ she took

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

"Money is thicker than blood player." Big Pun



Sad but true......business is never personal. Business and family don't mix.

I don't sell cars, rent houses, make loans to family.

Anything I "give" them I don't expect to see returned or repaid.

 

[that dude173]

It's a cold world when your own mother is the one doing you dirty like that. Good luck op

 

[squatchnt]

Stay in the house, stack papers, let them foreclose and buy it out then. If you decide to stay and pay the back money, get the name of the mortgage lender and account number and pay the bank directly. The bank doesn't care who gives them the money, as long as they get it. If momdukes told you otherwise, then this ish was premeditated. Moms lost the right to handle finances going forward. If she's always been straight up and down with you, find out whats going on. If it's par the course with her, cut ya losses.  

 

[703 hwy]

I'd leave the crib without even telling her. Just let it go to the bank, it's not in your name and she obviously doesn't give a...... Roll out fam

 

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

OP your situation is horrible man. You've been a good son, you kept your end up and your mom took advantage. I mean don't think of it more as your cutting contact with your moms by doing this.

I mean I've had heated battles with my mom and I thought I'd never talk to her again....but when you have a good mom it means that the next day she'll give you a hug and **** is all gravy again.

Your mom did you wrong man, 8K? what mom does that kinda thing? Leaves such a burden on a just-adult guy...

Right now look out for yourself and your sis....that's the priority right now. **** the house, you'll get another one.

 

[mojodmonky1]

Stay in the house, stack papers, let them foreclose and buy it out then. If you decide to stay and pay the back money, get the name of the mortgage lender and account number and pay the bank directly. The bank doesn't care who gives them the money, as long as they get it. If momdukes told you otherwise, then this ish was premeditated. Moms lost the right to handle finances going forward. If she's always been straight up and down with you, find out whats going on. If it's par the course with her, cut ya losses.  

this is what i would probably do.

what a tough stituation though. i mean everyone got a different relationship with their moms so its hard to say whats best for you. if my mom called me up tomorrow and said she was in a pinch and needed $8K, I wouldnt think twice bout walking right to the bank and wiring her the funds. but then again, in your situation its not the money, its the principle. you sound like you would do the same thing if your mother was straight up wit you and let you know whats going on. its the fact that she deceived you that hurts more than the money itself. wish you the best of luck man.

 

[kiiing]

If you move wouldn't you guys lose the house? How much of the mortgage is left over-all? If the house is lost .. potential inheritance will be too.

 

[Kev93]

Damn Op 8k though? your moms is cold bruh, but hopefully things will work for the better.

 

[crcballer55]

"Money is thicker than blood player." Big Pun



Sad but true......business is never personal. Business and family don't mix.

I don't sell cars, rent houses, make loans to family.

Anything I "give" them I don't expect to see returned or repaid.

QFT.

Although your mom is a thief in this whole matter, you have several options. In MD, the eviction process can take a LONG time so there's no need to rush with the 45 day notice. Have all of your non-essentials ready to pack though because things may have changed within the last 2 years but I doubt it though.

Here are your options if you really want to stay there:

Option 1. Have her deed the house to you

Option 2. Get the account # for the loan servicer & pay them directly. (MD may even be a redemption state so you can pay the bank the $8K and catch up)

 

[jking0821]

After talking to some friends they gave a lot of the same advice. I just called her got the voice mail. Friday is my deadline then I'm going to see if I can some how get the mortgage in my name. If it is too pricey or my mom try's to fight it some how then I will let it foreclose and try to either buy it then or walk away.

It's hard to explain but my mom has always been financially irresponsible. I've had to give my work savings to her when I was 15-16 to pay the electric bill ($500). I never thought anything of it because I lived in the house and I should be helping with the bills.

But whenever bills or money is brought up my mom mentally shuts down. Like something clicks in her head and rationality goes out the window. So I sat her down when she left got all the log ins for online payment for all the bills. And showed her how the mortgage payments would work and all.

But I don't want to lose the house it's in a good area and it's a good investment IMO. So I will personally try to save it. But money isn't everything to me and I am loyal to a fault. When you have very few people in your life you tend to trust them too much. Especially the one that drove you to soccer practice 4 times a week and worked 3 jobs to keep a roof over your head.

Thanks fam.

 

[crcballer55]

You're right, you're loyal to a fault. You made several mistakes that hopefully you can learn from. The primary one is that she has always been financially irresponsible so you should have had no reason to believe that the money would go to where she was saying it should.

If you have any intention of buying the house, it will need to be through an arms length transaction. I saw several people try to buy theirs or their family member's home back in foreclosure and the bank wouldn't allow it since the home had lost so much value and the the bank figured they purposefully defaulted so they could get a cheaper payment.

 

[ace]

I say cut your losses, get out there and do your own thing.

Family is family no doubt but you gotta live YOUR life.

I'd rather establish something on my own independently than raise my family in the same house I was banging girls in when I was younger. It's a pride thing.

 

[squatchnt]

Not to be a ****, but if you had the log in info to pay the mortgage AND she always been finacially irresponsible, then you have no one to blame but yourself. Like I said in my previous post, if this was something new and it were my moms I'd find out whats going on. As it's par the course, not much you can be mad at HER about. You can't control what other people do only how you react. Your mom was there for you in other ways all your life so you can be there for her in other ways if she needs you. If she needs you financially just handle the biz yourself. Theres a forum called loansafe.org, I think, that you can prolly get good advice or saving the house if that's your goal. Good luck and stay up..

 

[curbsideprophet]

I know she's dodging your calls but you need to do everything to TALK TO HER FIRST.....

There's a story behind this somewhere. 

Mama > everything. LOVE YOU MOMMY!!!

 

[puglife]

anyway you can buy the house from her without actually paying her for it? it'd be a loss if you guys just lost the house after paying the mortgage for X amount of time.

 

[jking0821]

anyway you can buy the house from her without actually paying her for it? it'd be a loss if you guys just lost the house after paying the mortgage for X amount of time.

Not too sure i am going to look into it.

There is equity in the house so i know it would be dumb to walk away from. I've been crazy busy with work but hopefully by tomorrow i can find some time to call Wells Fargo and some other places and see what my options are for obtaining the mortgage or the house some how.