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Being a Loner/Introvert Unappreciation Thread Vol. But my Mom Says I'm Cool...
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yea im a virgo as well lol, maybe that explains why nas is my favorite rapper.
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hmm I'm somewhat of a loner nowadays. Don't get txt as much as b4, actually I don't get txt at all! Haaha. I'm not much of a club person sothat's not a option for me to go when I'm bored. I guess my personality is too laid back to as opposed to being that guy that is hollering at everychick and what not. Oh well, as long as I'm in school and work I'm all good! Who needs friends anyways when I have NTR' friend's to rely onLOL. Hah
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Oh... I forgot about this awesome thing I have about introverts. It's been in my myspace blog for a couple of years! lol It pretty much wins at life.
http://www.learningplaceonline.com/relationships/friends/caring-introvert.htm
Caring for Your Introvert
By JonathanRauch, The Atlantic Online,
o you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelingsor ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties andthen needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to benice?
If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble yourefforts to draw him out?
If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands-and that you aren't caring for himproperly. Science has learned a good deal in recent years about the habits and requirements of introverts. It has even learned, by means of brain scans, thatintroverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up). If you are behind the curve on this important matter, be reassured thatyou are not alone. Introverts may be common, but they are also among the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world.
I know. My name is Jonathan, and I am an introvert.
Oh, for years I denied it. After all, I have good social skills. I am not morose or misanthropic. Usually. I am far from shy. I love longconversations that explore intimate thoughts or passionate interests. But at last I have self-identified and come out to my friends and colleagues. In doingso, I have found myself liberated from any number of damaging misconceptions and stereotypes. Now I am here to tell you what you need to know in order torespond sensitively and supportively to your own introverted family members, friends, and colleagues. Remember, someone you know, respect, and interact withevery day is an introvert, and you are probably driving this person nuts. It pays to learn the warning signs.
What is introversion?
In its modern sense, the concept goes back to the 1920s and the psychologist Carl Jung. Today it is a mainstay of personality tests,including the widely used Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Introverts are not necessarily shy. Shy people are anxious or frightened or self-excoriating in socialsettings; introverts generally are not. Introverts are also not misanthropic, though some of us do go along with Sartre as far as to say "Hell is otherpeople at breakfast." Rather, introverts are people who find other people tiring.
Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression.Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially "on," weintroverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn't antisocial. It isn't asign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Ourmotto: "I'm okay, you're okay-in small doses."
How many people are introverts?
I performed exhaustive research on this question, in the form of a quick Google search. The answer: About 25 percent. Or: Just under half.Or-my favorite-"a minority in the regular population but a majority in the gifted population."
Are introverts misunderstood?
Wildly. That, it appears, is our lot in life. "It is very difficult for an extrovert to understand an introvert," write theeducation experts Jill D. Burruss and Lisa Kaenzig. (They are also the source of the quotation in the previous paragraph.) Extroverts are easy for introvertsto understand, because extroverts spend so much of their time working out who they are in voluble, and frequently inescapable, interaction with other people.They are as inscrutable as puppy dogs. But the street does not run both ways. Extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion. They assume that company,especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often asI have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. They listen for a moment and then go back to barkingand yipping.
Are introverts oppressed?
I would have to say so. For one thing, extroverts are overrepresented in politics, a profession in which only the garrulous are reallycomfortable. Look at George W. Bush. Look at Bill Clinton. They seem to come fully to life only around other people. To think of the few introverts who didrise to the top in politics-Calvin Coolidge, Richard Nixon-is merely to drive home the point. With the possible exception of Ronald Reagan, whose fabledaloofness and privateness were probably signs of a deep introverted streak (many actors, I've read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing,feel like actors), introverts are not considered "naturals" in politics.
Extroverts therefore dominate public life. This is a pity. If we introverts ran the world, it would no doubt be a calmer, saner, morepeaceful sort of place. As Coolidge is supposed to have said, "Don't you know that four fifths of all our troubles in this life would disappear if wewould just sit down and keep still?" (He is also supposed to have said, "If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeatit." The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself.)
With their endless appetite for talk and attention, extroverts also dominate social life, so they tend to set expectations. In ourextrovertist society, being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of happiness, confidence, leadership. Extroverts are seen asbighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. "People person" is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like "guarded,""loner," "reserved," "taciturn," "self-contained," "private"-narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggestemotional parsimony and smallness of personality. Female introverts, I suspect, must suffer especially. In certain circles, particularly in the Midwest, a mancan still sometimes get away with being what they used to call a strong and silent type; introverted women, lacking that alternative, are even more likely thanmen to be perceived as timid, withdrawn, haughty.
Are introverts arrogant?
Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, morelevel-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts. Also, it is probably due to our lack of small talk, a lack that extroverts often mistake fordisdain. We tend to think before talking, whereas extroverts tend to think by talking, which is why their meetings never last less than six hours."Introverts," writes a perceptive fellow named Thomas P. Crouser, in an online review of a recent book called Why Should Extroverts Make All theMoney? (I'm not making that up, either), "are driven to distraction by the semi-internal dialogue extroverts tend to conduct. Introverts don'toutwardly complain, instead roll their eyes and silently curse the darkness." Just so.
The worst of it is that extroverts have no idea of the torment they put us through. Sometimes, as we gasp for air amid the fog of their98-percent-content-free talk, we wonder if extroverts even bother to listen to themselves. Still, we endure stoically, because the etiquette books-written, nodoubt, by extroverts-regard declining to banter as rude and gaps in conversation as awkward. We can only dream that someday, when our condition is more widelyunderstood, when perhaps an Introverts' Rights movement has blossomed and borne fruit, it will not be impolite to say "I'm an introvert. You are awonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."
How can I let the introvert in my life know that I support him and respect his choice?
First, recognize that it's not a choice. It's not a lifestyle. It's an orientation.
Second, when you see an introvert lost in thought, don't say "What's the matter?" or"Are you all right?"
Third, don't say anything else, either.
http://www.learningplaceonline.com/relationships/friends/caring-introvert.htm
Caring for Your Introvert
By JonathanRauch, The Atlantic Online,
o you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelingsor ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties andthen needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to benice?
If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble yourefforts to draw him out?
If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands-and that you aren't caring for himproperly. Science has learned a good deal in recent years about the habits and requirements of introverts. It has even learned, by means of brain scans, thatintroverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up). If you are behind the curve on this important matter, be reassured thatyou are not alone. Introverts may be common, but they are also among the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world.
I know. My name is Jonathan, and I am an introvert.
Oh, for years I denied it. After all, I have good social skills. I am not morose or misanthropic. Usually. I am far from shy. I love longconversations that explore intimate thoughts or passionate interests. But at last I have self-identified and come out to my friends and colleagues. In doingso, I have found myself liberated from any number of damaging misconceptions and stereotypes. Now I am here to tell you what you need to know in order torespond sensitively and supportively to your own introverted family members, friends, and colleagues. Remember, someone you know, respect, and interact withevery day is an introvert, and you are probably driving this person nuts. It pays to learn the warning signs.
What is introversion?
In its modern sense, the concept goes back to the 1920s and the psychologist Carl Jung. Today it is a mainstay of personality tests,including the widely used Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Introverts are not necessarily shy. Shy people are anxious or frightened or self-excoriating in socialsettings; introverts generally are not. Introverts are also not misanthropic, though some of us do go along with Sartre as far as to say "Hell is otherpeople at breakfast." Rather, introverts are people who find other people tiring.
Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression.Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially "on," weintroverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn't antisocial. It isn't asign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Ourmotto: "I'm okay, you're okay-in small doses."
How many people are introverts?
I performed exhaustive research on this question, in the form of a quick Google search. The answer: About 25 percent. Or: Just under half.Or-my favorite-"a minority in the regular population but a majority in the gifted population."
Are introverts misunderstood?
Wildly. That, it appears, is our lot in life. "It is very difficult for an extrovert to understand an introvert," write theeducation experts Jill D. Burruss and Lisa Kaenzig. (They are also the source of the quotation in the previous paragraph.) Extroverts are easy for introvertsto understand, because extroverts spend so much of their time working out who they are in voluble, and frequently inescapable, interaction with other people.They are as inscrutable as puppy dogs. But the street does not run both ways. Extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion. They assume that company,especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often asI have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. They listen for a moment and then go back to barkingand yipping.
Are introverts oppressed?
I would have to say so. For one thing, extroverts are overrepresented in politics, a profession in which only the garrulous are reallycomfortable. Look at George W. Bush. Look at Bill Clinton. They seem to come fully to life only around other people. To think of the few introverts who didrise to the top in politics-Calvin Coolidge, Richard Nixon-is merely to drive home the point. With the possible exception of Ronald Reagan, whose fabledaloofness and privateness were probably signs of a deep introverted streak (many actors, I've read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing,feel like actors), introverts are not considered "naturals" in politics.
Extroverts therefore dominate public life. This is a pity. If we introverts ran the world, it would no doubt be a calmer, saner, morepeaceful sort of place. As Coolidge is supposed to have said, "Don't you know that four fifths of all our troubles in this life would disappear if wewould just sit down and keep still?" (He is also supposed to have said, "If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeatit." The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself.)
With their endless appetite for talk and attention, extroverts also dominate social life, so they tend to set expectations. In ourextrovertist society, being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of happiness, confidence, leadership. Extroverts are seen asbighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. "People person" is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like "guarded,""loner," "reserved," "taciturn," "self-contained," "private"-narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggestemotional parsimony and smallness of personality. Female introverts, I suspect, must suffer especially. In certain circles, particularly in the Midwest, a mancan still sometimes get away with being what they used to call a strong and silent type; introverted women, lacking that alternative, are even more likely thanmen to be perceived as timid, withdrawn, haughty.
Are introverts arrogant?
Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, morelevel-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts. Also, it is probably due to our lack of small talk, a lack that extroverts often mistake fordisdain. We tend to think before talking, whereas extroverts tend to think by talking, which is why their meetings never last less than six hours."Introverts," writes a perceptive fellow named Thomas P. Crouser, in an online review of a recent book called Why Should Extroverts Make All theMoney? (I'm not making that up, either), "are driven to distraction by the semi-internal dialogue extroverts tend to conduct. Introverts don'toutwardly complain, instead roll their eyes and silently curse the darkness." Just so.
The worst of it is that extroverts have no idea of the torment they put us through. Sometimes, as we gasp for air amid the fog of their98-percent-content-free talk, we wonder if extroverts even bother to listen to themselves. Still, we endure stoically, because the etiquette books-written, nodoubt, by extroverts-regard declining to banter as rude and gaps in conversation as awkward. We can only dream that someday, when our condition is more widelyunderstood, when perhaps an Introverts' Rights movement has blossomed and borne fruit, it will not be impolite to say "I'm an introvert. You are awonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."
How can I let the introvert in my life know that I support him and respect his choice?
First, recognize that it's not a choice. It's not a lifestyle. It's an orientation.
Second, when you see an introvert lost in thought, don't say "What's the matter?" or"Are you all right?"
Third, don't say anything else, either.
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holy *#%#, can you be a mix of both an introvert and an extrovert?
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bingo. that article hit it, especially the last bolded parts.
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I took an introvert/extrovert test (lol), and this is what I got:
Your result for The Introvert/Extrovert Test ...
Introvert Extrovert
Congratulations! You scored ###!
You're a quiet person, but not too quiet. You like your own company at times, but don't mind the company of others. Ideally, a few people is betterthan a lot in most situations. You'd be well suited to living in a small town and can easily handle living on your own. You know how to have a good time,but also know how to enjoy a good book. While a night on the town can be enjoyed, you don't like to go out all the time. One can get too much of a goodthing. You can be irritated by extroverts sometimes. Especially if they talk a lot about non-consequential things or other people. You can sometimes bemisunderstood for being grumpy and some extroverts find you a little aloof. You're probably relatively happy in who you are although something can alwaysbe improved upon.
I would say this is pretty damn close.
Your result for The Introvert/Extrovert Test ...
Introvert Extrovert
Congratulations! You scored ###!
You're a quiet person, but not too quiet. You like your own company at times, but don't mind the company of others. Ideally, a few people is betterthan a lot in most situations. You'd be well suited to living in a small town and can easily handle living on your own. You know how to have a good time,but also know how to enjoy a good book. While a night on the town can be enjoyed, you don't like to go out all the time. One can get too much of a goodthing. You can be irritated by extroverts sometimes. Especially if they talk a lot about non-consequential things or other people. You can sometimes bemisunderstood for being grumpy and some extroverts find you a little aloof. You're probably relatively happy in who you are although something can alwaysbe improved upon.
I would say this is pretty damn close.
T0INE
formerly toine2983
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- Dec 21, 2005
Good read Dylishis.
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- Jul 24, 2007
It has probably already been said but there's a huge difference between being a loner and an introvert.
I'm an introvert and not ashamed at all. That's just how I am. There are times (a lot of times
) where I just don't want to deal or be in thecompany with other humans. Be it my family, gf, or my friends. Not because I dislike them or feel above them but because I just rather be alone.
The biggest drawback is that most new people that you meet think that you're either ignoring them or acting as if you're above them. My gf used to getmad early on in the relationship when she thought I was ignoring her when in reality sometimes I'm happier keeping quite then talking. I have no problemlistening to her complaining and not talking back.
There have been plenty of people who've said that I need to change or open up more, but why? I've found introverts to be much more genuine ,trustworthy, and loyal people.
I feel bad for people who constantly need others' attention or company.
I'm an introvert and not ashamed at all. That's just how I am. There are times (a lot of times
The biggest drawback is that most new people that you meet think that you're either ignoring them or acting as if you're above them. My gf used to getmad early on in the relationship when she thought I was ignoring her when in reality sometimes I'm happier keeping quite then talking. I have no problemlistening to her complaining and not talking back.
There have been plenty of people who've said that I need to change or open up more, but why? I've found introverts to be much more genuine ,trustworthy, and loyal people.
I feel bad for people who constantly need others' attention or company.
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Yup. That's why I bolded 'em.
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- Aug 22, 2009
Meh,
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- Nov 22, 2006
Originally Posted by wawaweewa
It has probably already been said but there's a huge difference between being a loner and an introvert.
I'm an introvert and not ashamed at all. That's just how I am. There are times (a lot of times) where I just don't want to deal with other humans. Be it my family, gf, or my friends.
The biggest drawback is that most new people that you meet think that you're either ignoring them or acting as if you're above them. My gf used to get mad early on in the relationship when she thought I was ignoring her when in reality sometimes I'm happier keeping quite then talking.
There have been plenty of people who've said that I need to change or open up more, but why? I've found introverts to be much more genuine , trustworthy, and loyal people.
I feel bad for people who constantly need others' attention or company.
That said... I need to practice some introversion. Need to decompress sober up after aLabor day festivities... I don't even know how I'm sitting up and being coherent right now.
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Originally Posted by DR813
yeah I know the feeling. It sucks big time.
i hate it i am sometimes in a big group of people that are laughin n stuff n ill be like just sittin there laughin i never put in input.. always the side guy
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Agreed 100%
jt air jt
Banned
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"few introverts who did rise to the top in politics-Calvin Coolidge, Richard Nixon-is merely to drive home the point. With the possible exceptionof Ronald Reagan, whose fabled aloofness and privateness were probably signs of a deep introverted streak (many actors, I've read, are introverts, and manyintroverts, when socializing, feel like actors), introverts are not considered "naturals" in politics.
The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself.)"
This is on point...
I would consider myself more of an introverted person though I do enjoy the company of close friends and family. I love meeting new people too. Though we allknow how people get sometimes...
On a lighter note, has anyone ever gone to the theatre to watch a movie solo?
The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself.)"
This is on point...
I would consider myself more of an introverted person though I do enjoy the company of close friends and family. I love meeting new people too. Though we allknow how people get sometimes...
On a lighter note, has anyone ever gone to the theatre to watch a movie solo?
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I constantly go solo.Originally Posted by JT AIR JT
"few introverts who did rise to the top in politics-Calvin Coolidge, Richard Nixon-is merely to drive home the point. With the possible exception of Ronald Reagan, whose fabled aloofness and privateness were probably signs of a deep introverted streak (many actors, I've read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors), introverts are not considered "naturals" in politics.
The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself.)"
This is on point...
I would consider myself more of an introverted person though I do enjoy the company of close friends and family. I love meeting new people too. Though we all know how people get sometimes...
On a lighter note, has anyone ever gone to the theatre to watch a movie solo?
I still like to go with others on occasion but not as much as I like going solo and just relaxing.
Something I've been doing for a long time now.
T0INE
formerly toine2983
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- Joined
- Dec 21, 2005
Originally Posted by wawaweewa
I constantly go solo.Originally Posted by JT AIR JT
"few introverts who did rise to the top in politics-Calvin Coolidge, Richard Nixon-is merely to drive home the point. With the possible exception of Ronald Reagan, whose fabled aloofness and privateness were probably signs of a deep introverted streak (many actors, I've read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors), introverts are not considered "naturals" in politics.
The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself.)"
This is on point...
I would consider myself more of an introverted person though I do enjoy the company of close friends and family. I love meeting new people too. Though we all know how people get sometimes...
On a lighter note, has anyone ever gone to the theatre to watch a movie solo?
Especially if it's a movie that I really think I'm going to enjoy.
I still like to go with others on occasion but not as much as I like going solo and just relaxing.
Something I've been doing for a long time now.
That sums me up to a T.
saltinewarrior
Banned
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I do this a lot. When no one wants to go, I'm not letting them stop me from going out to enjoy myself at the theatre.Originally Posted by JT AIR JT
On a lighter note, has anyone ever gone to the theatre to watch a movie solo?
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me too mainly because I don't have anybody else to go with.Originally Posted by wawaweewa
I constantly go solo.Originally Posted by JT AIR JT
"few introverts who did rise to the top in politics-Calvin Coolidge, Richard Nixon-is merely to drive home the point. With the possible exception of Ronald Reagan, whose fabled aloofness and privateness were probably signs of a deep introverted streak (many actors, I've read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors), introverts are not considered "naturals" in politics.
The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself.)"
This is on point...
I would consider myself more of an introverted person though I do enjoy the company of close friends and family. I love meeting new people too. Though we all know how people get sometimes...
On a lighter note, has anyone ever gone to the theatre to watch a movie solo?
Especially if it's a movie that I really think I'm going to enjoy.
I still like to go with others on occasion but not as much as I like going solo and just relaxing.
Something I've been doing for a long time now.
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JT AIR JT wrote:
On a lighter note, has anyone ever gone to the theatre to watch a movie solo?
I've done it plenty of times.
red flag
Banned
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Ahhh, good response
hits home, i'm a selective introvert, moodswings constantly
+ I think introverts are more prone to be on a message board
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Not only that, but if its a strong movie that really moves you, its sorta weird for me to be with other people. I dont feel comfortable in thatsorta situation. When Im alone I feel like I can focus and connect to the movie without worrying about the person next to me.Originally Posted by DR813
me too mainly because I don't have anybody else to go with.Originally Posted by wawaweewa
I constantly go solo.Originally Posted by JT AIR JT
"few introverts who did rise to the top in politics-Calvin Coolidge, Richard Nixon-is merely to drive home the point. With the possible exception of Ronald Reagan, whose fabled aloofness and privateness were probably signs of a deep introverted streak (many actors, I've read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors), introverts are not considered "naturals" in politics.
The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself.)"
This is on point...
I would consider myself more of an introverted person though I do enjoy the company of close friends and family. I love meeting new people too. Though we all know how people get sometimes...
On a lighter note, has anyone ever gone to the theatre to watch a movie solo?
Especially if it's a movie that I really think I'm going to enjoy.
I still like to go with others on occasion but not as much as I like going solo and just relaxing.
Something I've been doing for a long time now.
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- May 19, 2005
that article is interesting. being introvert and also a pisces ftw
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Virgo here. Co-sign everything in this thread.
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