-I'm about to be 22 and never had a serious girlfriend. The last time I even "dated" anyone was for like a month back in 2006. I took this one girl out to dinner twice last summer but nothing ever materialized.
-I used to be preoccupied with having a girlfriend/significant other but now I don't even think I'd have time for one. I'm usually working in studio about 18 hours a day if you average it out, sometimes more. Sometimes I don't go home for a couple days at a time except to take a shower or quick nap; a good night of sleep is about 4 hours. I don't see how a relationship would fit into that and I don't even really care to be honest; I'm finding fulfillment in my work (even though I know it's not good to make work your life, I've kinda slipped into that and gave up trying to fight it) and most of the time when I'm not working I just want to go home and relax rather than go out and socialize and meet people.
-Even though I feel like my work defines me, I'm rarely ever satisfied with it and almost always hate it. I've had scores of people compliment me on a project and I still think it sucks.
-That girl I took out last summer was the only girl I've ever been seriously interested in. She dated somebody else for 2 1/2 years and I always told myself if she ever broke up with him I would jump at the chance no questions asked. When she broke up with him (May) I took her out when I found out a couple months later but I was too much of a !@@!% to do anything. Especially because I knew I had about a two week window to make something happen because I was going to study in Europe that semester so I wouldn't see her for a few months and she would start dating somebody else (which she did). Now she's single again but I don't even care nor have any motivation to try b/c of the reasons above.
-I would say that 95% of girls I find myself interested in already have boyfriends (I always find this out later). I rarely maintain friendships with girls if they're taken. I mean I spend most of my time in studio so I might go and eat dinner with a girl in my studio but I hardly ever do anything outside of those confines, and the people I spend time with change from year to year depending upon who's in my studio that year. My relationships are always temporal because I never bother to assert myself to establish anything beyond that. Most of my friends are people that bug me constantly to spend time with them with not very much effort on my end. It's not because I'm an a-hole or a bad friend; I've always been really uncomfortable with asking/inviting people to do anything. I feel like there's something inherently wrong with me in that regard.
-In a conversation I'm not comfortable if people aren't laughing or the conversation isn't about architecture or sports
I'm really bad at having normal everyday conversation, mostly because I don't give a $!%% about it. I'll ask the "how was your weekend" type questions only because I feel like I have to, not because I actually want to or care. It's not that I'm self-absorbed, I don't really know what it is; I guess I just feel like if something interesting happened they will tell me about it. Conversely, I rarely say anything about myself unless somebody else asks
Kinda backwards.
-I joke a lot and I feel like very few people take me seriously or realize how deep/emotional of a person I am because I don't reveal that side.
-I would say I'm not even capable of relating to a lot of girls. If you're all about getting trashed every weekend or going to your sorority events I'm not giving you the time of day.
-I feel like a lot of people in my life can't relate to my ambitions and I don't want to come off as a jerk/arrogant but I can't relate to what they're about anymore. Like, I'm working all the time trying to make something of myself and you wanna sit on the couch and play xbox all day and then complain because you have to write a 2 page paper? We're not in HS anymore...
-If a girl is interested in me but I'm not interested in her I'm terrible at letting her down. Instead of just coming out and saying it I either avoid her completely or turn into an ***##@$. I always feel really bad about it yet nothing changes. Back in HS this girl practically asked me out and this is what I did:
Her: (Looking through my wallet) What's this Pizza Hut Card?
Me: I got it for Christmas, it's got like 25 bucks on it that works like cash.
Her: So do you only spend it on yourself? Or would you maybe use it to take pretty girls on dates?
Me: Uh it depends...but probably just for personal use.
Her: Would you use it to take me on a date?
Me: But you said
pretty girls...
-Though I feel like the way my life has played out so far will lead to me being single my whole life, I really do want to get married and have kids. My biggest fear is being 40 years old and living by myself.
