Confessions

Been dropping hints at this girl I've been talking to recently that she should exercise and work out more. I mean, I dig her personality and she has a cute face, but I just can't move on with a girl that isn't active/fit. She doesn't seem to get the clues, so when the topic came up I told her I can't commit to anything with her. 
The sad thing is if she tells her friends that they will make you out to be some sort of monster. I HATE that with a passion man. Don't settle. Don't drop hints, speak up about it. Invite her to work out. Leave up your laptop with workout sites on the screen so she can know how serious you are.
 
The older I get the more ridiculous the world is. Ill never survive working for someone else. I don't think ill survive being with someone else. I fear a life alone, but feel that I'd be happier and more at peace. This entire life is a game, a joke. We construct these ideas, and then break them. Everyone is selfish. Life is a joke, and at 25 I'm already tired and looking forward to the sweet rest of death. Life is no longer important, peace is the only thing i desire. But peace only comes in death. Cowards kill themselves, and I need to accomplish something before I go, but honestly...I just don't see what's so great about existence

Your highs are never as good as you hope, your lows will never be as bad as you think...so love, smile, live...but never take anything to serious, because its ultimetely a march to the edge of existence, when I get there I'm diving off with joy.
 
There really is no purpose to life, other than to enjoy it. You live for a while, then you die, and maybe if you're lucky you leave some sort of impact on somebody else's life. But there is no goal to life. I suppose you could set one for yourself, but there is no predetermined thing that you're supposed to accomplish by the time you die. Minecraft is kind of amazing to me because of this because I've had several people tell me that they don't get the game. They don't understand what the point of it is. And I try to explain, "see I can make tools and build a house and fight monsters and go mining and do whatever I want really!" But they always say the same thing... "ya, but what's the point? I don't get it." And after a while, I realised that minecraft is exactly like life. You can do anything imaginable, and you should, but there is no point. You build a house, you find some diamonds, you lose them in a pit of lava, you rinse and repeat until you get tired of it and stop playing, never having truly accomplished anything. But if you did it right, you enjoyed every last second of it.
 
@C Money 88 05

Don't be so hard on yourself, my guy. Honestly, from reading your post in its entirety, I harkened back to a few years ago where I was in the same exact situation. Literally everything you described, I did..I thought, nah..I just KNEW she was the one lol, let it slip away (froze like Bron against the Mavs smh), simped, all that...couldn't accept (or, more importantly, counteract) her leaving at the time because I was so green in female situations. Enough about me tho...pretty sure you didn't write a letter to your chick while playing Take Care && then go deliver it personally, so trust && believe you could've done worse :lol...IMO you've still got a decent chance.

But...what you gotta ask yourself is...do you REALLY want to be back with her, or is it a case of wanting what you don't have at the moment? I get the vibe that it's more of the former, so, the next question would be...are you willing to sacrifice your 'friendship' (I use that term VERY lightly in this case, because females are great in terms of articulating BS rhetoric) in an attempt to do so? Because it's possible that you'll have to do just that. Right now, your best bet is to cease any && all contact for at least a month (delete contact info && text history if you have to).....she'll likely hit you up within a few weeks, which is what you want. But you initiating the convo at this point isn't gonna help, you'll just be pushing && she'll be trying to pull away even more. Dive into a hobby, go out with friends, etc, && let her come to you, breh...that way, you'll be already progressing towards moving on for good && finding someone better if, in fact, y'all don't get back together.

Keep me posted man, here to help if need be. Either way, good luck my dude.
 
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I don't really know what to feel right now. I fell in love with her, I didn't know how to work it out though with us after everything we had been through. I wanted her, loved her, she was there to be mine too & I let it fall out of my hands & now it's out of my hands...I wish I had one more chance to prove myself but it's crazy she doesn't want me anymore. She told me she was still here for me & she loves me, we still talk kinda the same, but she doesn't wanna go down that path anymore.

I understand it but I just can't accept it. I think I need to move on to another person but I don't know how, I was kinda trying that when it started feeling like things weren't working(before we got to this point there was A LOT of back & forth discussion issues which is why we were never together before, we never really found a way to clear up everything) but nobody's really quite there like she is that also wanted to be with me.

I'm physically sick right now, hurt, upset, man I tried talking to her last night & she officially said she didn't want to be with me & I gave it everything I had too...it kinda felt like I was begging & being super pathetic to be honest, but love has no limits to how it can pick you up...and I guess to how it can break you down when you're truly chasing something special.

Not to act like I don't care about her but I'll get over this(I think), I really want to because this pain is unreal, I'm losing this woman & she was a goddess in my eyes & I tried to tell her all the time, I was every bit of what I can imagine a simp would be in my mind, but being with her & having the one I wanted made it seem ok...problem is I never knew how to show it to her so she never saw it & now she's gone...and still not gone because we can still be best of friends & I have no problem with that because I would take her friendship & our bond over not having her(I think) but man I seriously want to cry right now even though I have no reason to cry over us not coming eye-to-eye on things when we had the chance & letting things get to this point.

I ****** up NT...I ****** up.
Damn bro all that and a bag of chips. 
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Going through the same exact thing, to bad your not in the area. If so the beers on me.
 
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Damn bro all that and a bag of chips. :{


Going through the same exact thing, to bad your not in the area. If so the beers on me.

bros, I'm literally going through the exact same thing. Just trying to turn this around. I'd still take her at any point if she wanted to, but in case she doesn't, I want to make sure she regrets it.
 
College will help you step all the way into that role that you see yourself becoming
But going home, and interacting with all of those people will be even more difficult than it is now.
It's tough bc, if someone hasn't been to college maybe they're more closed-minded.
I;m not talking about intelligence.
But seriously, if you haven't seen the outside of your city limits, how big is your world view? How many types of people did you come across that are completely different from you and how tolerant are you about things outside of your world view??
College gets a lot of hate these days (and for good reasons, debt and unemployment are no ******* joke)
But I promise you you will grow into this man that you are beginning to see
College will be so great for you man, I can feel it.
It will open you up, and you seem to yearn for that- bro you are going to have the time of your life.

also, I have to ask:
"Sometimes i feel like I have no personality that people would like come around."
--what did you mean by this?

You're a smart kid, hUGHEY-- answering a lot of your own questions; it's not just based on interaction w women, it's def life in general
Confidence is confidence is confidence. It's knowing what you are, knowing what you're not, and because of that you carry yourself with power and certainty.
Whether it's tryna bag a rando's digits, public speaking, or talking about yourself in an interview.
It's my belief that in order to be confident, it's imperative that you find something you excel in.
In school, that's easy as hell bc of sports, and all the things that come with that, but once you graduate, you need a foundation thats going to hold you down.
For me it's theatre, random social interactions, and the gym-- bc I sure as hell know my job doesn't make me feel better about myself :lol
But I noticed that when I was "retired" (:lol) from organized sports I lost a lot of the confidencE i was known for in the past
And, I'm talking about outside of the aesthetics of how swaggy i felt about my physique from football/rugby
I was always good at sports, but when those were over... I wasn't doing anything that I was good at... therefore, nothing was reminding me how good I really am... yaknow? yeah. Ha i think I nailed that, I hope it makes sense

There's a lot of subconscious little goodies that are reaffirming and solidifying our confidence when we have these activities-- like if ur a hooper and you're a good player
I kinda lost my train of thought, but talk to me kid, air it out
Damn man, forgot I even post.that. but man dawg I really felt what youre saying through that post dawg. Probably need to find something to build that all around confidence up . I meant by like people who gravitate tiwards someone with that " he sounds fun, I wanna hang out with him ," - type vibe. Sometimes I get randos trynaa just off me just kickin with the boys just bein me not even trippin on gettin a female tip. Youre diffrent right on and hit the nail on the head with your advice. Truly appreciate it man
 
Been dropping hints at this girl I've been talking to recently that she should exercise and work out more. I mean, I dig her personality and she has a cute face, but I just can't move on with a girl that isn't active/fit. She doesn't seem to get the clues, so when the topic came up I told her I can't commit to anything with her. 

Yo homie, I was in the same boat for both of my ex's. One I dated for 8 years and she never worked out, I mean I bought her gym membership, invited her, was very nice and motivating, but she never did anything about it. When we met, she was a ZERO and when we broke up she was like an EIGHT OR BIGGER. I put up with it for eight years and just couldn't do it anymore. It was a bad feeling. She was a good woman but I just could not look past the fact that we were on two different levels when it comes to being healthy and fit.

My recent ex was of two years and she gained some weight too, I even told her from the jump, please work out with me. Let's make this a lifestyle for US. I bought her a gym membership, and all bought her workout clothes, and the works. She tried for like 2 months and just gave up slowly. Again, same boat, became unattracted to her and now I'm single again. Kinda. I'm chasing this one chick that I know is not good for me, but yet I'm still doing it. I need a hug yall lol
 
I don't really know what to feel right now. I fell in love with her, I didn't know how to work it out though with us after everything we had been through. I wanted her, loved her, she was there to be mine too & I let it fall out of my hands & now it's out of my hands...I wish I had one more chance to prove myself but it's crazy she doesn't want me anymore. She told me she was still here for me & she loves me, we still talk kinda the same, but she doesn't wanna go down that path anymore.

I understand it but I just can't accept it. I think I need to move on to another person but I don't know how, I was kinda trying that when it started feeling like things weren't working(before we got to this point there was A LOT of back & forth discussion issues which is why we were never together before, we never really found a way to clear up everything) but nobody's really quite there like she is that also wanted to be with me.

I'm physically sick right now, hurt, upset, man I tried talking to her last night & she officially said she didn't want to be with me & I gave it everything I had too...it kinda felt like I was begging & being super pathetic to be honest, but love has no limits to how it can pick you up...and I guess to how it can break you down when you're truly chasing something special.

Not to act like I don't care about her but I'll get over this(I think), I really want to because this pain is unreal, I'm losing this woman & she was a goddess in my eyes & I tried to tell her all the time, I was every bit of what I can imagine a simp would be in my mind, but being with her & having the one I wanted made it seem ok...problem is I never knew how to show it to her so she never saw it & now she's gone...and still not gone because we can still be best of friends & I have no problem with that because I would take her friendship & our bond over not having her(I think) but man I seriously want to cry right now even though I have no reason to cry over us not coming eye-to-eye on things when we had the chance & letting things get to this point.

I ****** up NT...I ****** up.

You can't be friends with someone that you used to be in love with, imo. You need to stop feeding her ego my dude. She may not show it to you, but she's loving your pain right now. If she wasn't, she would have been straight up and told you that you need to stop trying because it's not happening. She has plans for you, but not the kind that you want. You'll either be her security blanket or her new bff that she can tell all her problems to while another man is sliding up in it. You ever see those videos of a woman on the phone with a simp while her back is being blown out? You wanna be that guy?

Let it go. That pain will leave you at some point. If you keep begging your pride and your self esteem are going to vanish and you'll be one teir above ****olding. **** that bs. Tell her you met someone and let that be the ladt time y'all talk.
 
I don't really know what to feel right now. I fell in love with her, I didn't know how to work it out though with us after everything we had been through. I wanted her, loved her, she was there to be mine too & I let it fall out of my hands & now it's out of my hands...I wish I had one more chance to prove myself but it's crazy she doesn't want me anymore. She told me she was still here for me & she loves me, we still talk kinda the same, but she doesn't wanna go down that path anymore.

I understand it but I just can't accept it. I think I need to move on to another person but I don't know how, I was kinda trying that when it started feeling like things weren't working(before we got to this point there was A LOT of back & forth discussion issues which is why we were never together before, we never really found a way to clear up everything) but nobody's really quite there like she is that also wanted to be with me.

I'm physically sick right now, hurt, upset, man I tried talking to her last night & she officially said she didn't want to be with me & I gave it everything I had too...it kinda felt like I was begging & being super pathetic to be honest, but love has no limits to how it can pick you up...and I guess to how it can break you down when you're truly chasing something special.

Not to act like I don't care about her but I'll get over this(I think), I really want to because this pain is unreal, I'm losing this woman & she was a goddess in my eyes & I tried to tell her all the time, I was every bit of what I can imagine a simp would be in my mind, but being with her & having the one I wanted made it seem ok...problem is I never knew how to show it to her so she never saw it & now she's gone...and still not gone because we can still be best of friends & I have no problem with that because I would take her friendship & our bond over not having her(I think) but man I seriously want to cry right now even though I have no reason to cry over us not coming eye-to-eye on things when we had the chance & letting things get to this point.

I ****** up NT...I ****** up.

You can't be friends with someone that you used to be in love with, imo. You need to stop feeding her ego my dude. She may not show it to you, but she's loving your pain right now. If she wasn't, she would have been straight up and told you that you need to stop trying because it's not happening. She has plans for you, but not the kind that you want. You'll either be her security blanket or her new bff that she can tell all her problems to while another man is sliding up in it. You ever see those videos of a woman on the phone with a simp while her back is being blown out? You wanna be that guy?

Let it go. That pain will leave you at some point. If you keep begging your pride and your self esteem are going to vanish and you'll be one teir above ****olding. **** that bs. Tell her you met someone and let that be the ladt time y'all talk.

I remember my ex posted this in her google chat profile when I stupidly still had it "love sometimes hurts, but it always heals". She helped me without knowing it. It's a strong feeling, but love is fleeting, your dignity is for life. Just break all ties and contact, tell her you need that if she keeps hitting you up. You'll never drop a habit if you keep going for a little taste. It'll make sense a year later, right now I know it doesn't.
 
Anything you want to share with us man? We're here for you bro...

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i feel like im in an endless cycle in my life...

Graduate from school... not really sure what to do, find a job in my field, but its not enough. Not sure what to do, go back to school and study to be a teacher, graduate, can't find a job, go overseas to teach... will be going home this year where teaching jobs are extremely rare and jobs are being cut, not sure what to do... at least I have a fall back to go back to my previous field but I need something that pays well and I can make a career out of it... pressure is on. gf has been waiting for years to get going on the next stage of life. All the time she's invested in me and all the faith/belief/love she has put in for me, I feel like sometimes I cant live up to it (actually tearing up right now as I type this...) ...fear of letting her down even more...all my friends are getting marries, getting promoted, etc and I haven't even started. I don't want to go back to school anymore. I'm almost 30. F. I feel like I've accomplished nothing in life. I have nothing to show for anything... kind of bummed right now. I got 6 weeks before I return home and get my stuff together... I have an ultimate tournament tomorrow... maybe this will help me play better or maybe worse. I'm leave it all on the field tomorrow. sometimes I wonder if I can just take the easy way out and end it, but thats an even more depressing thought all in itself. Wish I could go back to high school or first year of college.
 
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Everyone told me to leave the chick alone, even y'all NT, but I didn't want to listen. Now I just caught the chick cheating this morning. Time to move on though. 
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Appreciate NT fam. Can't even go to anyone about it cause this is so embarrassing. I'm gonna go to uptown tonight and drink heavy! Whoever in Dallas, come see me! Drinks on me! LOL 
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If only I was in the D. There is a good amount of NTets that live in Dallas. I'm sure you will have a story for us in the morning.
 
i feel like im in an endless cycle in my life...

Graduate from school... not really sure what to do, find a job in my field, but its not enough. Not sure what to do, go back to school and study to be a teacher, graduate, can't find a job, go overseas to teach... will be going home this year where teaching jobs are extremely rare and jobs are being cut, not sure what to do... at least I have a fall back to go back to my previous field but I need something that pays well and I can make a career out of it... pressure is on. gf has been waiting for years to get going on the next stage of life. All the time she's invested in me and all the faith/belief/love she has put in for me, I feel like sometimes I cant live up to it (actually tearing up right now as I type this...) ...fear of letting her down even more...all my friends are getting marries, getting promoted, etc and I haven't even started. I don't want to go back to school anymore. I'm almost 30. F. I feel like I've accomplished nothing in life. I have nothing to show for anything... kind of bummed right now. I got 6 weeks before I return home and get my stuff together... I have an ultimate tournament tomorrow... maybe this will help me play better or maybe worse. I'm leave it all on the field tomorrow. sometimes I wonder if I can just take the easy way out and end it, but thats an even more depressing thought all in itself. Wish I could go back to high school or first year of college.

Fam, don't pay attentio to what everybody else is doing. That doesn't matter to you. The race is only with yourself. Just do what makes you happy and count your blessings. Just never forget, there's always tomorrow.

I can kind of relate to you in the same way that I'm doing different things from everybody my age. Just stay up fam, we'll prosper together. :hat

Everyone told me to leave the chick alone, even y'all NT, but I didn't want to listen. Now I just caught the chick cheating this morning. Time to move on though. |I

damn b. at least you're done with that part of your life. On to the next? :hat
 
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