Confessions

most family waits for the grandparent to die so they can get the money.....and if one kid swayed them to give them way more than the other then its going to cause division 9 times outta 10 :lol

Yupp.. When my wife's grandparents go... It's gana be hell.

I'm sure she's gana get some money cause she's always been really close with them... But her aunts are all bat **** crazy.. So I know it's not gana go well
 
This happenend to my family. :{ Just like the movie Soul Food.

Used to have parties every weekend, holidays were a blast, get togethers at the park, huge picnics... ect.

Once my Grandma passed away (RIP) everyone seperated. I always tried to get everyone back together and host a party/graduationi/celebration.

But the chemistry, the "love" in the atmosphere is not there anymore.

It will probably never be the same. I wish I can go back in time just to experience it again...

I find myself staring at old photos and 30 second videos of the past and end up crying. :(

Man i wish I could go back in time and appreciate some of those old get togethers more. I always wished that I had a more tight knit family, but everyone is so busy and getting older I spend a lot of time to myself.
 
Friday night I was having a late night text message conversation with a female friend. The conversation took a dark tone really quickly and she asked if I would be surprised if she killed herself. She was drunk and I brushed it off as her being down and intoxicated. I tried to turn the convo back to being light hearted and let her know that she meant a lot to me and others. She hinted at ODing on pills but never came out and said she was taking/took them. I tried to get a hold of her via phone relentlessly but she wouldn't pick up the phone and stopped responding to my texts. She didn't say "goodbye" and she didn't leave a note. I figured she was drunk, tired and just went to sleep. I tried to reach out to some mutual friends to check on her and ultimately decided against calling 911.

Came to find out she did take the pills and legitimately tried to kill herself. She ended up getting really sick but had the outlook of "I wish it would have worked". I hate myself for not taking action. I totally ****** up. I've been broken up about it since the initial conversation. I can't sleep or eat.

I finally got to speak to her again today and we're getting her help but I hate myself for making the wrong decision that could have costed her life. I'm pretty ****** up mentally right now and will need to talk to a professional about it tomorrow.

Don't ever take even the hint of suicide lightly NT fam. It's really better to be safe than sorry with someone who is depressed.
 
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Yo, so in my life I have only met my grandpa on my mom's side a number of times. I can literally count it on one had. My mother basically cut him off after moving out because of so many bad memories with him. My grandma who I love is one of the most negative people. Literally talks crap about everyone and is never happy. Anyways, she has always talked bad about him.

Now here's what I don't understand. My oldest aunt (who is worth lots of money and doesn't need grandpa's inheritance) still takes care of him, helps him, visits him etc. It seems the oldest people don't have too many grudges against him (still have some) but the youngest (my mom and uncle) completely hate him. I was basically brought up seeing the man as the devil.

Is it bad that I have no connection to him? My other cousins visit him ocassionally and say he's never been bad to any of the grandkids or great grandkids, they can't speak for the generation above us. I've been thinking about him a lot and wondering if I should reach out. The guy is incredibly old and super strong. Still rides his bike even. Thinking I should maybe make an effort to meet him and learn more about him.
 
Don't ever take even the hint of suicide lightly NT fam. It's really better to be safe than sorry with someone who is depressed.
During my freshman year in HS, there was a girl that I had class with that committed suicide. I had sex ed. class with her and sat next to her in that class. Remember that Friday pretty vividly. She was usually decently talkative, but a little weird. It was the last class of the day before the weekend and she seemed a little down compared to normal, but nothing that stood out like a sore thumb. Friday ends, and during the weekend, I hear that she killed herself. I didn't believe it until I went to school and everyone was talking about it. Our teacher addressed it and told us it was true. Dude was literally in tears telling us. I talked to the dude that sat next to her on the other side and was like "did you notice anything?" He said he did notice that she was a little down or maybe tired, and I told him I kind of noticed it too. Turns out that her uncle has been sexually assaulting and molesting her for years and she couldn't take it anymore. She wrote a letter about it, so it all came out and the uncle is now in prison.

Really bums me out sometimes thinking back that she was right next to me on the day of, and I didn't even do anything.
 
Don't ever take even the hint of suicide lightly NT fam. It's really better to be safe than sorry with someone who is depressed.

During my freshman year in HS, there was a girl that I had class with that committed suicide. I had sex ed. class with her and sat next to her in that class. Remember that Friday pretty vividly. She was usually decently talkative, but a little weird. It was the last class of the day before the weekend and she seemed a little down compared to normal, but nothing that stood out like a sore thumb. Friday ends, and during the weekend, I hear that she killed herself. I didn't believe it until I went to school and everyone was talking about it. Our teacher addressed it and told us it was true. Dude was literally in tears telling us. I talked to the dude that sat next to her on the other side and was like "did you notice anything?" He said he did notice that she was a little down or maybe tired, and I told him I kind of noticed it too. Turns out that her uncle has been sexually assaulting and molesting her for years and she couldn't take it anymore. She wrote a letter about it, so it all came out and the uncle is now in prison.

Really bums me out sometimes thinking back that she was right next to me on the day of, and I didn't even do anything.

famb there was nothing you could do. I know you wish there was but there wasn't anything. She didn't even make it noticeable in the slightest way. Many of us would have done and felt the same.

Wish I had a couple minutes with her uncle though.
 
After this break up I really don't know where to go from here. 

Like I know what I want to do but wtf do I do until then?
 
Sometimes when I'm waiting for the train I wonder what would happen if I jump in the tracks, is that suicidal? I always convince myself that it's not because I don't want to jump to kill myself I'm just intrigued by the whole scenario

Idk..
 
Sometimes when I'm waiting for the train I wonder what would happen if I jump in the tracks, is that suicidal? I always convince myself that it's not because I don't want to jump to kill myself I'm just intrigued by the whole scenario

Idk..
Trolling? Seems Like an odd thing to think about.
 
After this break up I really don't know where to go from here. 

Like I know what I want to do but wtf do I do until then?

^ I know that feel bro, trust when I say, your not alone. My pops always said "there's no hurt that can last a hundred years"
- I keep wanting to confess about my ex, but at this moment in my life, I just say what's the point. Things weren't gonna work out between us anyways.
- I took a nap earlier and now I can't sleep. It's gonna be a long night
 
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^ I know that feel bro, trust when I say, your not alone. My pops always said "there's no hurt that can last a hundred years"
- I keep wanting to confess about my ex, but at this moment in my life, I just say what's the point. Things weren't gonna work out between us anyways.
It just seems unreal to be with someone for so long and for them to just drop it like its nothing. I saw the signs so I knew it was coming. All  the stuff she said was just BS I guess. Just can't understand why girls just string dudes along. 
 
Been dropping hints at this girl I've been talking to recently that she should exercise and work out more. I mean, I dig her personality and she has a cute face, but I just can't move on with a girl that isn't active/fit. She doesn't seem to get the clues, so when the topic came up I told her I can't commit to anything with her. 
 
Been dropping hints at this girl I've been talking to recently that she should exercise and work out more. I mean, I dig her personality and she has a cute face, but I just can't move on with a girl that isn't active/fit. She doesn't seem to get the clues, so when the topic came up I told her I can't commit to anything with her. 

What's wrong with you? Would you want someone dropping hints that you're too fat or not muscular enough to date?

If she's not fit enough for you, find someone that is. It's not that complicated.
 
Meh i don't even really post on NT anymore, but what the hell.

-turn 25 next month... i really have moments where i feel like i haven't accomplished anything. Yeah i have a decent job, new car, own place, and im not anywhere near living check to check, but i feel like its still not enough. and idk why. Like who had a quarter life crisis lol

-I wish i had more female friends to chill with.... but having a gf i shy away from that. Im not eem thinkin about smashing any others, i just like hanging around girls. i have maybe like six but 4 arent that close and 2 have boyfriends. i'd probably be better off without more female friends because i'd probably get myself in trouble. actually i wish i had more friends to hang with in general. and the female friends they have are all fat, ugly, and annoying so i hate being around them for the most part

-i really have to fight the urge to smoke weed on a regular basis. I smoked everyday for about 4 years then had to stop to get this job i have now. basically didnt smoke for a year then smoked over the holidays and it was so damn great. i get the itch to do it but i have to resist so much because my job gives random drug test :{

-trying to think of a way/occasion/special time to propose to my girl. she says it doesnt have to be extravagant whenever i do it, but i know she would love it if i did just like any regular girl. Im definitely gonna do it within the next year, just have to figure out how.

-i really don't care about any of my family except my mom and sister. maybe my cousin and uncle but thats about it. It doesnt bother me that i dont care, but it bothers me that it doesnt bother me if that makes sense :lol. Its kinda my parents' fault i never had a really good relationship with all my family growing up and now that im older i don't really care to make that effort now.

feels a little better to get some stuff out :lol might be back
 
What's wrong with you? Would you want someone dropping hints that you're too fat or not muscular enough to date?

If she's not fit enough for you, find someone that is. It's not that complicated.
Exactly so, our lifestyles don't match which is why I told her I can't commit. I felt terrible about the situation and this is a confession post. Moving on. 
 
Meh i don't even really post on NT anymore, but what the hell.

-turn 25 next month... i really have moments where i feel like i haven't accomplished anything. Yeah i have a decent job, new car, own place, and im not anywhere near living check to check, but i feel like its still not enough. and idk why. Like who had a quarter life crisis lol

-I wish i had more female friends to chill with.... but having a gf i shy away from that. Im not eem thinkin about smashing any others, i just like hanging around girls. i have maybe like six but 4 arent that close and 2 have boyfriends. i'd probably be better off without more female friends because i'd probably get myself in trouble. actually i wish i had more friends to hang with in general. and the female friends they have are all fat, ugly, and annoying so i hate being around them for the most part

-i really have to fight the urge to smoke weed on a regular basis. I smoked everyday for about 4 years then had to stop to get this job i have now. basically didnt smoke for a year then smoked over the holidays and it was so damn great. i get the itch to do it but i have to resist so much because my job gives random drug test
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-trying to think of a way/occasion/special time to propose to my girl. she says it doesnt have to be extravagant whenever i do it, but i know she would love it if i did just like any regular girl. Im definitely gonna do it within the next year, just have to figure out how.

-i really don't care about any of my family except my mom and sister. maybe my cousin and uncle but thats about it. It doesnt bother me that i dont care, but it bothers me that it doesnt bother me if that makes sense
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. Its kinda my parents' fault i never had a really good relationship with all my family growing up and now that im older i don't really care to make that effort now.

feels a little better to get some stuff out
laugh.gif
might be back
I think you got a lot going for you man, definitely have a lot to appreciate. I think it's really important to sometimes look back at what great things life has given you instead of what more you want from life. As people we just naturally aren't content and are always striving for more. It can sometimes be heaven and at other times hell. Doesn't sound like your settling for anything at all. I think you're good and honestly, it's pretty crazy that you're getting married soon. Tons of happy times waiting ahead.
 
Exactly so, our lifestyles don't match which is why I told her I can't commit. I felt terrible about the situation and this is a confession post. Moving on. 

My fault, I jumped to conclusions about how you felt about the situation. Sorry about that.
 
 
Exactly so, our lifestyles don't match which is why I told her I can't commit. I felt terrible about the situation and this is a confession post. Moving on. 
It's definitely good to want others to strive for an active and healthy lifestyle, so I understand where you're coming from. It does seem to come off as a little selfish though because you basically want her to do it for your liking instead of for her own benefit. Don't put yourself down to much about it though, you're only human. She isn't what you want, and there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes there just isn't anything better to do than to move on because that's what's fair for everyone. Don't feel to bad because you're not goona learn if you don't make mistakes. I can already see that you understand the situation wholeheartedly and that you recognize why you feel bad. It's good that you see past it, learn, and move forward.
 
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Yo, so in my life I have only met my grandpa on my mom's side a number of times. I can literally count it on one had. My mother basically cut him off after moving out because of so many bad memories with him. My grandma who I love is one of the most negative people. Literally talks crap about everyone and is never happy. Anyways, she has always talked bad about him.

Now here's what I don't understand. My oldest aunt (who is worth lots of money and doesn't need grandpa's inheritance) still takes care of him, helps him, visits him etc. It seems the oldest people don't have too many grudges against him (still have some) but the youngest (my mom and uncle) completely hate him. I was basically brought up seeing the man as the devil.

Is it bad that I have no connection to him? My other cousins visit him ocassionally and say he's never been bad to any of the grandkids or great grandkids, they can't speak for the generation above us. I've been thinking about him a lot and wondering if I should reach out. The guy is incredibly old and super strong. Still rides his bike even. Thinking I should maybe make an effort to meet him and learn more about him.

This honestly reminds me of myself. I'm not close at all with my grandfather on my mother's side. Like, you just reminded me how long it's been since I talked to dude. Only one of my aunts really maintains communication with him really. Graduated college three weeks ago and I just realized he never gave me a call. Kind of weird that it's always my father who encourages me to reach out and keep in touch rather than my mother who still harbors some ill feelings towards him. As far as feeling bad, I couldn't care less lol. Kind of feels bad saying that, and now that I'm older I feel like I should take initiative to reach out. The man my grandmother married after has been more of a grandfather to me over the course of my life.
 
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Just for giggles I went to search for my friends old mugshot only to find him in the. LA county corrections database. It's eerie to me that I randomly thought of hanging out with him only to find that out.

Makes me sad we both grew up pretty much the same he just stayed in the gang life. I don't even know what to do, if i should visit or put money on his books. The booking report says he's in for a felony. So I'm probably not going to see him for a few years :{
 
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I don't really know what to feel right now. I fell in love with her, I didn't know how to work it out though with us after everything we had been through. I wanted her, loved her, she was there to be mine too & I let it fall out of my hands & now it's out of my hands...I wish I had one more chance to prove myself but it's crazy she doesn't want me anymore. She told me she was still here for me & she loves me, we still talk kinda the same, but she doesn't wanna go down that path anymore.

I understand it but I just can't accept it. I think I need to move on to another person but I don't know how, I was kinda trying that when it started feeling like things weren't working(before we got to this point there was A LOT of back & forth discussion issues which is why we were never together before, we never really found a way to clear up everything) but nobody's really quite there like she is that also wanted to be with me.

I'm physically sick right now, hurt, upset, man I tried talking to her last night & she officially said she didn't want to be with me & I gave it everything I had too...it kinda felt like I was begging & being super pathetic to be honest, but love has no limits to how it can pick you up...and I guess to how it can break you down when you're truly chasing something special.

Not to act like I don't care about her but I'll get over this(I think), I really want to because this pain is unreal, I'm losing this woman & she was a goddess in my eyes & I tried to tell her all the time, I was every bit of what I can imagine a simp would be in my mind, but being with her & having the one I wanted made it seem ok...problem is I never knew how to show it to her so she never saw it & now she's gone...and still not gone because we can still be best of friends & I have no problem with that because I would take her friendship & our bond over not having her(I think) but man I seriously want to cry right now even though I have no reason to cry over us not coming eye-to-eye on things when we had the chance & letting things get to this point.

I ****** up NT...I ****** up.
 
Been dropping hints at this girl I've been talking to recently that she should exercise and work out more. I mean, I dig her personality and she has a cute face, but I just can't move on with a girl that isn't active/fit. She doesn't seem to get the clues, so when the topic came up I told her I can't commit to anything with her. 

dude i take working out so serious that my standards are very high so it sucks because most girls i feel arent on that same level just from that alone

i need to move to a diff area
 
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