Confessions

I dont believe in god but somehow I am maf at him for being a terrible god. I keep getting the short end of the stick but I should thank him for not being worse? If a muderer stabbed and paralyzed me should i thank him for not murdering me. >:

The way I see it I was born with sickle cell anemia, look half my age, and ugly. He is in no position to demand praise or that I ask for forgiveness for my sins. If anything he should be begging for my forgiveness.

Which I would not give him.

Seriously man...get the hell off NT and get PROFESSIONAL HELP.

I ain't saying this to be mean, I'm saying it for your own good. Because if even half of your posts are truly how you feel about yourself and life in general you're suffering from severe depression and nothing will get better until you talk to somebody about it and you're able to improve your self esteem.

Don't put it off or not go because of what your parents/friends/family might think of you. It isn't their life it's your.
 
^Really?
Last I recalled you and two dudes flamed me for 8 pages straight in a thread I made that had nothing to do with what you were flaming me for :{
 
^Really?
Last I recalled you and two dudes flamed me for 8 pages straight in a thread I made that had nothing to do with what you were flaming me for :{

Because you probably said something illogical or stupid that doesn't negate the fact that you clearly need real help.

But DO YOU tho, if you rather ignore what I'm saying and are cool with how your life is and posting depressing *** posts on NT then ight.
 
That feel when you finally talk to an asian girl that's not white washed and likes brothas, get her to the crib and she stops to tell you she has a boyfriend/ex boyfriend situation
Not about that life
Tell her to get at me when she figures things out but I know this is a dead end
 
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That feel when you finally talk to an asian girl that's not white washed and likes brothas, get her to the crib and she stops to tell you she has a boyfriend/ex boyfriend situation
Not about that life
Tell her to get at me when she figures things out but I know this is a dead end

I know that feel, bro. Burned me bad, too.

This is one of those situations where you're better off killing any hope that she'll holla back one day. Easier said than done, though.
 
I know that feel, bro. Burned me bad, too.

This is one of those situations where you're better off killing any hope that she'll holla back one day. Easier said than done, though.
She texted me before work today(gave me a little pep in my step)
And we face timed during lunch
Was blunt with her that I could possibly be feeling her and would like to take her out Saturday, she is down but I have been rebound guy.... So we will see
Like you said it's easier said then done
 
Gotta job offer earlier to work overnight at a place I've worked temp for numerous times
But never worked overnight before and the fact its only gon be for 2 months is kinda making me not wanna do it...
 
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Talked to the girl I have been simpin for today. I think I'll invite her to see The Great Gatsby soon. :hat



Wish me luck, Old Sport.

I'm being 100% serious... taking a girl to see that will make her miss her old man.

Debatable. :lol

Finished reading the book for the second time today. Never gets old. I told her I'm interested in going and she seems excited, when the release date gets a little closer I'll ask her.

She's like......., another me :hat
 
She texted me before work today(gave me a little pep in my step)
And we face timed during lunch
Was blunt with her that I could possibly be feeling her and would like to take her out Saturday, she is down but I have been rebound guy.... So we will see
Like you said it's easier said then done

Yeah man. Feelings mess everything up.

From where I'm standing it seems like she's got the better hand right now - sounds like things aren't totally resolved with her bf / ex (and even if they are, things can always change in an instant). And you've definitely shown interest, so either way she's covered. As long as you're aware of all of that and of what could happen - both the good and the bad - then just do you. It gets tougher the farther into it you get, when you start to hope and think that the two of you have a shot and she's put everything in the past, but you gotta risk it to get the biscuit.

Good luck fam.
 
i dunno............


i think i prefer bein single...........i think about it a lot lately an i just dont think marriage will be for me
No marriage in my future.

I want girls to love me. I need to get a good job to make sure it happens and stays that way
 
Talked to the girl I have been simpin for today. I think I'll invite her to see The Great Gatsby soon. :hat



Wish me luck, Old Sport.

I'm being 100% serious... taking a girl to see that will make her miss her old man.

Debatable. :lol

Finished reading the book for the second time today. Never gets old. I told her I'm interested in going and she seems excited, when the release date gets a little closer I'll ask her.

She's like......., another me :hat

Agreed, book is awesome.

What I meant is that the soundtrack of that movie is, in the simplest of terms, heartbreaking.

Hearing Lana Del Rey and Florence and the Machine's songs for Gatsby had me missing the girls I walked by on my way to class today. :lol
 
Started off this semester messing around, and now I need to do almost flawless on my finals to C or low B out.

First semester was just terrible.

Honestly considering just taking a break from college.. Feels like I spent a whole year ******g up and its destroying my subconscious.

Freshman.
 
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Yeah man. Feelings mess everything up.

From where I'm standing it seems like she's got the better hand right now - sounds like things aren't totally resolved with her bf / ex (and even if they are, things can always change in an instant). And you've definitely shown interest, so either way she's covered. As long as you're aware of all of that and of what could happen - both the good and the bad - then just do you. It gets tougher the farther into it you get, when you start to hope and think that the two of you have a shot and she's put everything in the past, but you gotta risk it to get the biscuit.

Good luck fam.
Thanks man
I knew I was in trouble because she's 5'2
An accountant
Mixed with filipino/white/Chinese
Got a little phatty
And when I met her she was wearing a stussy tshirt, tights and roshe runs( total beast mode)
Brethren if you just looking to talk to girls I swear trader joes, sprouts, whole foods on a Friday/Saturday night it's no joke lol
Trying to keep it playa but after we stopped fooling around adventure time was on and she cuddled up to me and said she loves this cartoon(got damn weakness)
She got me but after my ex I know the flags to look for but it's been so long and to finally like a chick again...smh
Can't let her do it to me...ICE COLD(shout to andre3k) lol
 
Tell him that. We love that, in fact, I'm willing to bet he'd almost jump through the phone to get it :lol.
That CB tho....terrible :{
i was kinda shy because i didn't wanna seem like a slizz :{ :lol but it was a success. :lol :evil

also:
- the damage caused from my last relationship is making me self-conscious about this new guy. he's a gentleman but i'm scared of ******* things up between him & i. thus, i'm super cautious of the things i say and do. i know i should just be myself, but what if he doesn't like the real me? what if he thinks that i'm an obsessed freak if i show him some genuine concern, try to take care of him, or text him first? :{ :{ :{ :x
 
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Tell him that. We love that, in fact, I'm willing to bet he'd almost jump through the phone to get it :lol.
That CB tho....terrible :{
i was kinda shy because i didn't wanna seem like a slizz :{ :lol but it was a success. :lol :evil

also:
- the damage caused from my last relationship is making me self-conscious about this new guy. he's a gentleman but i'm scared of ******* things up between him & i. thus, i'm super cautious of the things i say and do. i know i should just be myself, but what if he doesn't like the real me? what if he thinks that i'm an obsessed freak if i show him some genuine concern, try to take care of him, or text him first?

The worst thing you can do is to not be yourself. Eventually that side of you will come out because you are going to get tired of pretending to be what you are not. Doing this only delays the inevitable if it's not meant to be, so why waste your time? Text him, but don't go nuts. Being in a relationship where you have to constantly guess what to do/say next is not a relationship. It's a waste of time. If he doesn't like you for who you are, then on to the next.
 
Just talked to my moms about the job offer and it seems like she aint want me to take it since its overnight and it'll her leave alone at that time (something shes NEVER been comfortable with) so i doubt I'm gonna take it. I would just prefer to just work at my old position during the 2nd shift especially since they need ppl. Cheap *** company needs to just hire me lol

Wanna buy a new car but really dont have enough money to, sucks because I know my old 92 Camry can only last so long. Love that car tho, when I get a new one I might cry or something :lol :(

If I ever get rich I might ball out on ****** and **** and just straight start smacking ppl across the face with hundreds lmao.

I need to take all my bitterness and turn it into a chip on my shoulder so I can actually accomplish something noteworthy but idk how to apply myselt and to what :{
I know I gotta be talented at SOMETHING

The ex I hungout with today really has a way of pissing me off and getting me to act like an a** hole like no one else. I honestly can careless if I ever see or talk to her again, she just disgusts me now

Also sunshineblotters your post about being mad at God reminds me of this song...

 
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C'est la vie has been my saying lately, along with the two in my sig. I've been spending my days building myself up in multiple ways. During the entire day I work on eating healthy. Not dieting, for that would kill my already malnourished body, but making sure that when I'm gaining weight back, it's the right kind. My mental state has been getting its share of love as well. I spend my time thinking, in a healthy manner. Giving myself cognitive and psychoanalytical therapy, which is odd when you diagnose yourself. I guess it would be patient centered therapy if I'm talking to myself. Either way, I'm inching towards a better mental state as every day passes by. Lastly, my physical state. Seeing I am malnourished from when I was in my worst phase, I need to regain A LOT of muscle mass, I have shrunk quite a bit. I've been working out for an hour when I wake up, and before I sleep. I've noticed a change and I am set on continuing.

I wrote a 3 page paper to myself about my new theories on why the body functions. In simple terms, motivation and it's effect on life. I don't agree with Maslow. That's for another conversation. I'm losing touch with myself. I was once against drugs, but I didn't give a damn about legalization or anything. I was just not a drug user. Now, if there is some weed, I'm down. I tell myself no, and most of the time I can still walk away, but it's not as well as I want it. I need to kick it, as we speak I am kicking it. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.

I have a lot of dreams and aspirations, but I fail to follow through with them. I can only blame myself, but I don't want to. So I spend my time doing relaxing, time wasting activities. Like golf, running, trail walking, and NT. Though I shouldn't be running, my chest tightens up whenever I go, and I lack the ability to draw breath. I hate having a bad heart, so I disregard these feelings as a cramp and keep running until it is stopping me from advancing. When I can't move anymore, I have the biggest feeling of hatred for myself on earth. I feel weak and unfit.

My age is odd. I am young, but I don't think like the rest. Whatever "the rest" is. I think with morals and more times like the average 45 year old, than the average 18 year old. I don't talk to people in my age group unless its a female, or they are on my level of thinking. I mostly walk around with headphones on my head and avoid everyone. I talk with the older people I know. Whom are usually 40-91 years old.


Rant is getting long. Must end here.

/rant.
 
Just trying to keep my sanity at my current job.

I've been going off on some people lately co-workers and customers..putting them in check when they're rude.

Not letting that **** slide anymore. IDC though, you have to kill somebody to get fired from there.

liquor
 
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Trying to grow up so fast in highschool. I'm only a sophomore so it's not the end of the world I just wish I didn't rush things. I'm also trying to change my reputation.
 
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