Confessions

it wasnt you man, it sounds like she was seeing someone else on the side. A change of heart like that is never sudden.

I hear ya fam.. It took me sometime to see that it wasn't me tho.. Love had me blind for real.. I've learned from my mistakes so Im good now.. But man she did mind F me lol
 
I'm stuck in a life that I don't like living, I'm not successful, my grades aren't nice enough to go away to college, and the only girl I like is off with some dude. I'm relatively healthy though so I guess it ain't that bad
 
I look at myself every day (especially after working out) and ask when will I be bigger? The only reason I dont dope is because it makes your balls small. I am not competing so I dont care about that.
 
I look at myself every day (especially after working out) and ask when will I be bigger? The only reason I dont dope is because it makes your balls small. I am not competing so I dont care about that.


There's a big guy out there working hard to be that small.
 
There's a big guy out there working hard to be that small.
Depending on how big I would rather be big. Ask any girl. Fat > skinny. The worst part is I am somehow getting smaller. All my boxers are now far too big. I check the scale and I weigh more. Muscle weighs more than fat but I had no fat to befin with.
 
Depending on how big I would rather be big. Ask any girl. Fat > skinny. The worst part is I am somehow getting smaller. All my boxers are now far too big. I check the scale and I weigh more. Muscle weighs more than fat but I had no fat to befin with.

Have you looked into bulking? Eating more and throwing heavy weight can make serious transformation if done right.
 
I do weight lifting. Stronglift 5 x 5 to be exact (youtube it). Seems to be working wonders for a friend. Cuz he can afford a lot more meat foods than I can since his mom pays his way through life until he starts his job.
 
I do weight lifting. Stronglift 5 x 5 to be exact (youtube it). Seems to be working wonders for a friend. Cuz he can afford a lot more meat foods than I can since his mom pays his way through life until he starts his job.

There's a lot of other stuff you can get besides meats to provide bulk i.e. eggs, nuts, oils, pastas, sweet potatoes, rice.
 
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Depending on how big I would rather be big. Ask any girl. Fat > skinny. The worst part is I am somehow getting smaller. All my boxers are now far too big. I check the scale and I weigh more. Muscle weighs more than fat but I had no fat to befin with.

A pound is a pound whether its fat or muscle.
 
Go to a bmi calculator and find out how many calories you are suppose to eat. Then to gain weight eat 500 more calories than your suppose too. If you want to lose weight eat 500 less. #school
 
In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out...But the worst thing I ever done -- I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa -- and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

Riveting tale chap.

Goonies or Stand By Me. I can't remember which.
 
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I ponder about my ex of 3 years and how she's doing sometimes. When I replay that scene in my head when I got that "We need to talk" text, I was like...... ****. Then again, it was ALL my fault.


Stupid pride.
I know that feel.
Going to try this long distance relationship thing and see what happens
Its not gonna work. Sorry bub
 
I ponder about my ex of 3 years and how she's doing sometimes. When I replay that scene in my head when I got that "We need to talk" text, I was like...... ****. Then again, it was ALL my fault.



Stupid pride.
I know that feel.
Going to try this long distance relationship thing and see what happens
Its not gonna work. Sorry bub


It works if it's real love on both ends and not just a fling. Proper communication and an agreed end date to the long distance thing is key.
 
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So I researched the New Black Panther Party a bit. It turns out they are independent from the original Black Panther Party. The BPP straight denounced them. That's one less member
 

Sure. Memory is very fuzzy since it nearly almost 2 years ago.

I don't remember what caused the fight, but I know I was TICKED off. Bad timing maybe? Whatever the case, I gave her the SUPER COLD shoulder for a week. Everyday she would text/call me but I'd let it go straight to voicemail or not reply at all. ONE WHOLE WEEK! Who does that? I guess I liked the feeling of being liked/chased around? Idk but my reasons were extremely stupid now that I look at it. It's taken so much time for me to realize the type person I am and what I lost. She was definitely a keeper.

Since then, I've had one gf for 10 months which was based on superficial features (she cheated in my opinion). Yea, she was pretty but I couldn't talk to her about ANYTHING. She also brought up the worst in me. With ex of three years, even when our relationship turned dull she wanted to keep on trying. She had her head on her shoulders and is now going to USC. She was always passionate about helping others, something I admired in her. I ******g loved how we were opposites but we still worked. Ying Yang type of ish.

DAY OF BREAK UP THO... I got that "we need to talk text". My heart kinda sunk because I knew what was coming and It was all my fault. I was going to call her that day, telling her that I was getting a new car (I had sold my first car). I kinda wanted to surprise her with it but then again, she was never materialistic AND was opposed of me buying brand new. So I call her. Because I didnt have a car, I couldn't go to her. And she didn't really drive much then. Mind, we were like..... 19 at the time (met at 15, got together when we were like 16). She prepared a written speech and read it to me, crying her words out. At this point, I'm speechless. My dumbass ruined the relationship. The last time we talked was on 9/12/2011. She called me saying thank you for supporting her, and she got into USC (She was very upset she was at a community college). The worst part is, It was all through phone......

that was the end of us..

Overall, she will always be a beautiful person with a BIG heart in my book...................................................

Based on what you just wrote, I would do my very best to win her back.
 
My ex started following me on Twitter all of a sudden. I really dont use it only to find out the latest Nike drops so there's really nothing to find out from me. To a point I don't want her to follow me but then again i really don't care. I seen her Twitter was opened and told her about it, she made sure to lock it up. Kind of took offense to it but who cares. I'm on the fence about her. Part of me wants her back. Part of me hates her to the core. It was a big age difference as well. Started getting all fancy when she got a gov't job, when it was me driving her to interviews and whatnot. Not gonna front I was getting insecure as well, because she was hanging with guy co workers. And I had to find out through facebook she was on a friend date with them. Im getting angry writting this now. She wrote on her Twitter headline "20 something professional trying to make it in the world". Then writes on her ig "I date black guys. That's all you need to know." Wtf? Where's the professionalism in that. She sounds like a jckazz.
 

Sure. Memory is very fuzzy since it nearly almost 2 years ago.

I don't remember what caused the fight, but I know I was TICKED off. Bad timing maybe? Whatever the case, I gave her the SUPER COLD shoulder for a week. Everyday she would text/call me but I'd let it go straight to voicemail or not reply at all. ONE WHOLE WEEK! Who does that? I guess I liked the feeling of being liked/chased around? Idk but my reasons were extremely stupid now that I look at it. It's taken so much time for me to realize the type person I am and what I lost. She was definitely a keeper.

Since then, I've had one gf for 10 months which was based on superficial features (she cheated in my opinion). Yea, she was pretty but I couldn't talk to her about ANYTHING. She also brought up the worst in me. With ex of three years, even when our relationship turned dull she wanted to keep on trying. She had her head on her shoulders and is now going to USC. She was always passionate about helping others, something I admired in her. I ******g loved how we were opposites but we still worked. Ying Yang type of ish.

DAY OF BREAK UP THO... I got that "we need to talk text". My heart kinda sunk because I knew what was coming and It was all my fault. I was going to call her that day, telling her that I was getting a new car (I had sold my first car). I kinda wanted to surprise her with it but then again, she was never materialistic AND was opposed of me buying brand new. So I call her. Because I didnt have a car, I couldn't go to her. And she didn't really drive much then. Mind, we were like..... 19 at the time (met at 15, got together when we were like 16). She prepared a written speech and read it to me, crying her words out. At this point, I'm speechless. My dumbass ruined the relationship. The last time we talked was on 9/12/2011. She called me saying thank you for supporting her, and she got into USC (She was very upset she was at a community college). The worst part is, It was all through phone......

that was the end of us..

Overall, she will always be a beautiful person with a BIG heart in my book...................................................

Based on what you just wrote, I would do my very best to win her back.
Too late now amigo.
 
some women are deemed for failure no matter what type of family they come from. I posted about this girl in another thread but was down with her for 2 years met all her family still cool with all her fam to this day. She had some ratchet friends and you know how that go. Long story short came back home and half my stuff was gone along with her didnt sweat it since i had insurance got police report done . Now she has a baby due may 29th 
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( not mine ) no job , has been stripping and back paging to make ends meat, jumping from couch to couch and telling what ever lies she can to her family to get by. it makes me pissed that if this was me i would be under the jail and disowned but at the same time i just feel sorry for her honestly because she has ruined her life and possibly the kids as well. her parents know how big of a hood rat she is now i just wish i could ask her why and was it worth it ?
 
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