Hinge Takeover >>> Tinder, Bumble Pof

[willypete]

Quick backstory, had an event wear I had to throw on the tux. I have an older coworker, I look more at like an older sister. She asked me for a pic from the event in my tux, sent her the pic. She shared it with her homegirl who put on the full court press. Last night we were texting back and forth and she hit me with "you not playing fair."

I was like, hey that's my line. Shorty talking about she really wants to get to know me, shortly after telling me how wet she getting on the phone. Uh huh.

See even the women hip to the line.

We just wanna know how soon till you smash?

 

[willypete]

Been there, early in my sexcapades took care of a chick, soaking the sheets level. Come up to close the deal and she hit me with the I'm tired lets go to sleep. I was HOT. Saw her on LinkedIn, instantly got my Arthur on.

I realize that I think the ones I been dealing with are just lazy when it comes to neck. I smashed 3 women within the last month and the average time for neck was about a good 2 mins until they ready to smash. Yambs were nice but sometimes I wanna just sit back and get taken care of instead of doing all the work all the time.

 

[ahat]

Last night we were texting back and forth and she hit me with "you not playing fair."

 

[Based Jesus]

I realize that I think the ones I been dealing with are just lazy when it comes to neck. I smashed 3 women within the last month and the average time for neck was about a good 2 mins until they ready to smash. Yambs were nice but sometimes I wanna just sit back and get taken care of instead of doing all the work all the time.

Every woman has experienced their pleasure being disregarded so I don't know how some of them don't feel bad about doing the same. How can it be that if I don't spend the time to make you cum I'm bad but you don't see it the same for you?

Thankfully I've mostly been with women who do try but I've also been with some unenthusiastic reciprocators and that just kills the mood. The orgasm gap is not my personal fault, so don't take it out on me like I don't do my job

 

[titang545]

See even the women hip to the line.

We just wanna know how soon till you smash?

Say less bruv. We all suppose to meet up Friday for lunch to formally make the introductions outside of sending pics back and forth.

I would like to think no and just we using it to much. However I think we might have a traitor in our midst.

 

[paulwest1985]

Yall still talking about fumbled yambs? Cause I got a follow up story from a story I posted last year.

 

[moonman818]

I realize that I think the ones I been dealing with are just lazy when it comes to neck. I smashed 3 women within the last month and the average time for neck was about a good 2 mins until they ready to smash. Yambs were nice but sometimes I wanna just sit back and get taken care of instead of doing all the work all the time.

Wait til you get married

 

[paulwest1985]

.

 

[paulwest1985]

Speaking of fumbled yambs, this is a follow up to this story from last year

Bumble came in clutch for me this weekend. I matched up with a 37 year old women ( i'm 35 btw). And after about a week of sending messages back and forth she asked me to meetup for cocktails on Saturday. I'm like great, lets do it. So we link up at this bar that used to be a church. I get there at 1:00pm and walk in and see her. We sit and talk about a whole bunch of stuff ( some kind of way we ended up spending about 45 minutes talking about Issa and Lawrence's relationship from Insecure). As the evening went on and after 4 cocktails I looked at my watch and it was almost 6:30. I looked at her and asked her if she's good and she said that she doesn't want this conversation to end. I'm like.....

So she suggested to we go to her house and either listen to some music or watch tv. I said absolutely. Then she jokingly said "I'm not having sex with you........I might kiss you, but no sex".
So she sends me her address and we depart the bar. I put her address in the gps and I'm thinking to myself "this is the hood" (the woman is white). So I arrive at her house and it IS in the hood. Like, smack dab in the hood! I'm not gonna lie, I got out my car super nervous

So walk i her house and immediately I'm greeted by 2 small barking dogs. I sit on the couch and she makes me an Old Fashioned. We sit there talking for a while. Then started listening to some of her records. At some point she made me a bagel with cream cheese ( I can't front, that bagel was lightly toasted and good!) . So then we started watching netflix. She suggested we watch a stand up special. I picked Chris Rock's Tambourine Man. While we watching it in between laughing she and I would shoot each other the look.......

So I'm thinking to myself, it's only a matter of time. And before the special is even over we both fell asleep! I was like

and she was like

So i wake up around 1:30 and head out. Imma try to see her again this weekend and see how it goes from there.

So about 2 days pass. I send her a text on Tuesday saying " i was thinking about you" and how I had fun hanging out with her that Saturday. She responded immediately saying that I made her "cheesy smile"

. So I'm thinking I still got a chance with her. For context this was Inauguration week for President Biden. So we were talking about how we were going to watch it. She took the day off work and was going to have some friends over to watch it with her. I watched it with my fellow NTer's in the political thread. So I ask her to meet me at this burger restaurant the following Saturday. She agrees.

So Saturday arrives. I had on a printed button down shirt, my favorite pair of jeans, and my Jordan 5 international flight. I'm feeling good about this night.

I arrive to the restaurant early. While I'm standing in front of the restaurant A random parade rolls down the street (this in New Orleans. Random s*** like this happens all the time). She shows up 20 minutes later. We get our seat and order our food. We sat in the restaurant for about an hour and half just talking and feeling each other out. I pride myself on being a good listener and conversationalist, so I was looking for topics to zero in on. Touched on some deep subjects and parts of her past (was able to figure out that she has some abandonment issues and has an anxious attachment style).

But we finished there and started walking towards bourbon street. At some point while were walking she grabbed my hand and held it. At that point I was on cloud 9. Just had a good meal, had some good alcohol, and I'm strolling the streets with this woman that was into me.

An hour passes and I'm walking her back to her car. We get there and she starts fumbling around with her keys and hair and leaned against the door of her car. Internally I'm trying to figure out what she's doing. And then it hits me...............KISS HER!!!!!!! So I plant one on her and she started reeling from it

She says " you want to come over and watch a movie?". I said HELL YEA!!

I get to her house and those same 2 dogs greet me by barking at me again. When in walk in I notice that she has this huge grin on her face. I take my coat off and sit Indian style on the floor. She literally sat right in front of me and we started making out. A couple minutes later and she asked me if I wanted to watch Promising Young Woman. I'm like sure, lets do it. Watched the whole thing ( good movie, but I didn't like the ending). Now, it's about 11:45pm. She asked me if I wanted to sleep over? I'm like.........

She even gave me a pair of pajama pants to wear. So, I change into the pants and head to her bedroom. She has this giant white California king size bed. I get in and she joins me a minute later (she had to set the alarm and put her dogs to sleep). I'm laying on my stomach waiting for her. She gets in, turns off the lights, and puts her arm on my chest. I'm grinning because I know what's about to happen.

About a minute passed I and start to caress her arm. But I didn't get any feedback. I look and she feel asleep!

After accepting my L I turned my head and went to sleep myself.

The next morning we ended up laying in bed for a couple of hours talking. Eventually ended up grabbing some pizza and ended the day sitting at the lake for another couple of hours. Needless to say, I only saw her one more time and eventually she hit me with a text saying she wasn't feeling a connection and that I'm a great guy........ blah blah blah.

 

[WASHED KING]

Speaking of fumbled yambs, this is a follow up to this story from last year



So about 2 days pass. I send her a text on Tuesday saying " i was thinking about you" and how I had fun hanging out with her that Saturday. She responded immediately saying that I made her "cheesy smile"

. So I'm thinking I still got a chance with her. For context this was Inauguration week for President Biden. So we were talking about how we were going to watch it. She took the day off work and was going to have some friends over to watch it with her. I watched it with my fellow NTer's in the political thread. So I ask her to meet me at this burger restaurant the following Saturday. She agrees.

So Saturday arrives. I had on a printed button down shirt, my favorite pair of jeans, and my Jordan 5 international flight. I'm feeling good about this night.

I arrive to the restaurant early. While I'm standing in front of the restaurant A random parade rolls down the street (this in New Orleans. Random s*** like this happens all the time). She shows up 20 minutes later. We get our seat and order our food. We sat in the restaurant for about an hour and half just talking and feeling each other out. I pride myself on being a good listener and conversationalist, so I was looking for topics to zero in on. Touched on some deep subjects and parts of her past (was able to figure out that she has some abandonment issues and has an anxious attachment style).

But we finished there and started walking towards bourbon street. At some point while were walking she grabbed my hand and held it. At that point I was on cloud 9. Just had a good meal, had some good alcohol, and I'm strolling the streets with this woman that was into me.

An hour passes and I'm walking her back to her car. We get there and she starts fumbling around with her keys and hair and leaned against the door of her car. Internally I'm trying to figure out what she's doing. And then it hits me...............KISS HER!!!!!!! So I plant one on her and she started reeling from it

She says " you want to come over and watch a movie?". I said HELL YEA!!

I get to her house and those same 2 dogs greet me by barking at me again. When in walk in I notice that she has this huge grin on her face. I take my coat off and sit Indian style on the floor. She literally sat right in front of me and we started making out. A couple minutes later and she asked me if I wanted to watch Promising Young Woman. I'm like sure, lets do it. Watched the whole thing ( good movie, but I didn't like the ending). Now, it's about 11:45pm. She asked me if I wanted to sleep over? I'm like.........

She even gave me a pair of pajama pants to wear. So, I change into the pants and head to her bedroom. She has this giant white California king size bed. I get in and she joins me a minute later (she had to set the alarm and put her dogs to sleep). I'm laying on my stomach waiting for her. She gets in, turns off the lights, and puts her arm on my chest. I'm grinning because I know what's about to happen.

About a minute passed I and start to caress her arm. But I didn't get any feedback. I look and she feel asleep!

After accepting my L I turned my head and went to sleep myself.

The next morning we ended up laying in bed for a couple of hours talking. Eventually ended up grabbing some pizza and ended the day sitting at the lake for another couple of hours. Needless to say, I only saw her one more time and eventually she hit me with a text saying she wasn't feeling a connection and that I'm a great guy........ blah blah blah.

I wouldn't even consider this a fumble tbh.

I don't see anything you did wrong.

 

[paulwest1985]

I wouldn't even consider this a fumble tbh.

I don't see anything you did wrong.

I waited too long brah

 

[WASHED KING]

I waited too long

Ohhh got you. I was under the impression this all happened quickly.

 

[TURBO UNO]

paulwest1985 yeah you could’ve put more into it so that she got the message. I get it though, don’t want to come on too strong and scare her off. It’s a balancing act we’ve all done.

 

[paulwest1985]

paulwest1985 yeah you could’ve put more into it so that she got the message. I get it though, don’t want to come on too strong and scare her off. It’s a balancing act we’ve all done.

Exactly. One of the biggest struggles of dating as a male. It's a thin line between passive and aggressive

 

[willypete]

Exactly. One of the biggest struggles of dating as a male. It's a thin line between passive and aggressive

I definitely agree but once y’all started making out on the floor, I hope you were at least grabbing a titty or the mass. Or even when y’all got in the bed, you should’ve been trying to give her a massage or something.

I understand a woman can say no at any moment regardless what’s going on but from your situation, all signs said go.

 

[willypete]

Every woman has experienced their pleasure being disregarded so I don't know how some of them don't feel bad about doing the same. How can it be that if I don't spend the time to make you cum I'm bad but you don't see it the same for you?

Thankfully I've mostly been with women who do try but I've also been with some unenthusiastic reciprocators and that just kills the mood. The orgasm gap is not my personal fault, so don't take it out on me like I don't do my job

I think some of mine became lazy when they realized they can’t get me off from head because the ones that did always try to gobble me up (mostly the thicks and bbws).

Reading y’all stories and things makes me think the yambs I’ve been getting must be weak. My experiences been trash compared to y’all’s (except old boy who can’t close).

 

[titang545]

Man since we speaking on fumbling, was with shorty from my job about 3 weeks ago. We making out at her place but nothing serious because we going out for drinks.

We were going through some things and weren’t getting it in on the regular. She mentions she is horny on the way to get drinks. Cool. Say less bruv. I got you after this.

We hit up Jack Rose bar in DC, we taking some bourbon shots and eating food. I’m alternating with water to keep the alcohol at bay. Well I must have miscalculated because I remember getting in the Uber and getting back to her spot.

After getting to her spot I remember spotty events. I remember my head in the cat and her yelling no not like that. I thought you said we were getting a quickie. I stop and come up and go to sleep.

Next morning I try and pick up where I left off and she wasn’t having it. Got resistance when I tried to roll her over. Dipped out. Called her later that day to find out if she remembered any thing. She said she came out the shower I was in the bed sleep. She like damn I ain’t getting any tonight. I woke up started feeling on the mass and was like naw I’m good. She gets in the bed. We making out and I go down, but half way down I fell asleep on her stomach. She went to sleep. I then woke up and slide in and fell asleep in the P.

We linked up for dinner she took me out for my birthday but she got mad about some other stuff and we ain’t link up since. Texted her today but ain’t get a response back. SMH.

Might have fumbled that one away, but luckily got something new lined up with other chick my friend hit me with the layup.

 

[usabasketball08]

Kinda unrelated but you have chicks out here not even wanting to take their husband’s last name..what is this? Merging last names? Maybe I’m old school but I can’t believe dude agreed to this

 

[executive76]

Not wanting to take their husbands name isn't new...that's why they do hyphenated names thing. Some don't change anything. Others use their married name personally but not professionally. First I've heard of making up a last name for marriage but it makes sense if you can make up first names etc.

A new last name is splitting the difference. I mean it would be better than having a super common name like Smith. Starting your own legacy I guess.

 

[thenewjs23]

Kinda unrelated but you have chicks out here not even wanting to take their husband’s last name..what is this? Merging last names? Maybe I’m old school but I can’t believe dude agreed to this

My wife didn’t take my last name, not as big a deal to me. I remember what my pops went through just to go from Jr. to the 2nd.

I’ve heard of folks merging last names for their kids.

 

[usabasketball08]

My wife didn’t take my last name, not as big a deal to me. I remember what my pops went through just to go from Jr. to the 2nd.

I’ve heard of folks merging last names for their kids.

Yeah I feel that, the merging names thing is weird to me is what I was getting at. Haven’t heard of that much to be honest.

 

[fluid hips]

Wait til you get married

I heard marriage sex be trash so I'm not rushing to get married

 

[fluid hips]

Speaking of fumbled yambs, this is a follow up to this story from last year



So about 2 days pass. I send her a text on Tuesday saying " i was thinking about you" and how I had fun hanging out with her that Saturday. She responded immediately saying that I made her "cheesy smile"

. So I'm thinking I still got a chance with her. For context this was Inauguration week for President Biden. So we were talking about how we were going to watch it. She took the day off work and was going to have some friends over to watch it with her. I watched it with my fellow NTer's in the political thread. So I ask her to meet me at this burger restaurant the following Saturday. She agrees.

So Saturday arrives. I had on a printed button down shirt, my favorite pair of jeans, and my Jordan 5 international flight. I'm feeling good about this night.

I arrive to the restaurant early. While I'm standing in front of the restaurant A random parade rolls down the street (this in New Orleans. Random s*** like this happens all the time). She shows up 20 minutes later. We get our seat and order our food. We sat in the restaurant for about an hour and half just talking and feeling each other out. I pride myself on being a good listener and conversationalist, so I was looking for topics to zero in on. Touched on some deep subjects and parts of her past (was able to figure out that she has some abandonment issues and has an anxious attachment style).

But we finished there and started walking towards bourbon street. At some point while were walking she grabbed my hand and held it. At that point I was on cloud 9. Just had a good meal, had some good alcohol, and I'm strolling the streets with this woman that was into me.

An hour passes and I'm walking her back to her car. We get there and she starts fumbling around with her keys and hair and leaned against the door of her car. Internally I'm trying to figure out what she's doing. And then it hits me...............KISS HER!!!!!!! So I plant one on her and she started reeling from it

She says " you want to come over and watch a movie?". I said HELL YEA!!

I get to her house and those same 2 dogs greet me by barking at me again. When in walk in I notice that she has this huge grin on her face. I take my coat off and sit Indian style on the floor. She literally sat right in front of me and we started making out. A couple minutes later and she asked me if I wanted to watch Promising Young Woman. I'm like sure, lets do it. Watched the whole thing ( good movie, but I didn't like the ending). Now, it's about 11:45pm. She asked me if I wanted to sleep over? I'm like.........

She even gave me a pair of pajama pants to wear. So, I change into the pants and head to her bedroom. She has this giant white California king size bed. I get in and she joins me a minute later (she had to set the alarm and put her dogs to sleep). I'm laying on my stomach waiting for her. She gets in, turns off the lights, and puts her arm on my chest. I'm grinning because I know what's about to happen.

About a minute passed I and start to caress her arm. But I didn't get any feedback. I look and she feel asleep!

After accepting my L I turned my head and went to sleep myself.

The next morning we ended up laying in bed for a couple of hours talking. Eventually ended up grabbing some pizza and ended the day sitting at the lake for another couple of hours. Needless to say, I only saw her one more time and eventually she hit me with a text saying she wasn't feeling a connection and that I'm a great guy........ blah blah blah.

Bro you gotta escalate. You gotta lead. Women like that ish

That's the one quality women always bring up to. They point blank say "I like how you lead unlike most men".

Even when you're smashing you gotta be the one that initiates the change of position. Not her

Romcoms got the game messed up and dudes end up in the nice guy category with these women

 

[titang545]

A new last name is splitting the difference. I mean it would be better than having a super common name like Smith. Starting your own legacy I guess.

That sounds wild they just make up a whole new last name, hope the kid at least gets one of the constant names.

Regarding other dudes story have to say yeah man take charge a little sooner, you were in the bag. However she couldn't hold out any longer. You might of had a shot in the morning, couldn't hurt since you guys were laying in bed. Come at her hard after breakfast or something. Like you I learned from my fumble. Can't have two fumbles the same way.

 

[willypete]

That sounds wild they just make up a whole new last name, hope the kid at least gets one of the constant names.

Regarding other dudes story have to say yeah man take charge a little sooner, you were in the bag. However she couldn't hold out any longer. You might of had a shot in the morning, couldn't hurt since you guys were laying in bed. Come at her hard after breakfast or something. Like you I learned from my fumble. Can't have two fumbles the same way.

Like after the make out session in the crib, I think that’s honestly the best situation to just wio. Especially when they were in bed.