How did you and your significant other meet? What are your keys to a successful relationship?

[atlsfinest]

I see a lot of threads about smashing and hooking up but I don't see many threads about successful relationships.

How we met: My wife and I got married in this past December after 4 years of dating (got engaged in August 2019. We met when we were kids, I was 11 and she was 9. We both attended a church camp in the North Georgia mountains.

We went to different schools so I only saw her at summer camp, we were friends but nothing romantic. We both went to that camp until we graduated high school. After that we lost contact for about a decade.

We didn't reconnect until 2015. I was in the Navy at the time and I was stationed in Bremerton Washington and she had accepted a job in Seattle. I didn't even know she lived near me until I saw her RSVP to an event on Facebook. I sent her a message and we agreed to meet up at a bar and the rest is history.

Keys to success: I think having a solid spiritual foundation to stand on is helpful as well as having good communication. I think it's easy for people to bury their heads in the sand and avoid problems, in the hopes that they fix themselves but they usually don't. Just tell your significant other, it'll make things easier in the end.

 

[stay lurkin]

I appreciate the positive topic on such a gloomy day.

But it does seem like have a strong foundation is the only thing that works in relationships.

what is that bible verse something like “the man built his house on a rock. And the seas shook and the storms came and it stayed. And the other built his on sand, and the seas shook and the storms came and it was no more”

paraphrased horribly but yeah

 

[gentrification]

Everyone meets at work.

 

[atlsfinest]

Everyone meets at work.

I thought everybody met on the apps

 

[tay1]

Compromise and understanding during hard times is key.

 

[spizike231]

Me and my wife met in HS, but ended up working at the same grocery store after and that’s where we really talked and got together


The biggest thing that helped us and ultimately lead to an 8 year relationship of mostly good times is..

Communicating well.
When you argue, listen to why she’s upset and don’t just listen to respond and be right. Listen to truly find a resolution rather than getting lost in your anger. Took us a while.. but we hardly argue anymore unless it’s really worth it. We really just talk **** out and understand the other side and come to agree we’ll both try to be better or find a middle ground.

 

[da hen]

Respect, communication, and compromise

 

[aepps20]

Avoid liberal conjecture and innuendo at all costs.

 

[northoaklandfc]

Was thinking about this other day, literally every girlfriend I've had post high school I met by approaching in a club.

None of them let me hit that night or even on the first date.

Was talking with some friends about it and I guess that's pretty unusual.

It's also unusually rare for me to date or hook up within my extended circle. Most girls I've been with had zero relation to my social circle when we met.

 

[stuntman mike]

i told this story before but here it is: i was on a local message board that would let you get points that you could use for all kinda stuff, even temp banning other members. anyway, i got a buncha points and one xmas eve, i changed a buncha people’s avys and put santa hats on em. idea stolen straight outta the NT playbook. anyway, this girl messaged me telling me how funny that was etc. we messaged for a long time, then texted back and forth for a long time, and eventually met up. we lived together for some years and eventually got married. we have a 6 year old son and an 8 month old daughter.

the key to our success is that my wife is the only woman i’ve been with that didn’t eventually make me wish there was a mute button on her mouth. in our relationship, i do my best to let my actions show her how much she means to me.

 

[jape]

Met at a party. Had no idea she was feeling me. All my boys were roasting me for not getting her number. Was really drunk. Very fortunate to run in to her again two weeks later at a some rooftop bar. Didn’t miss my opportunity the 2nd time.

One thing that really helped me was learning that it’s ok to have ups and downs you have to step back and look at the big picture. Realize you’re building something together and the little things don’t matter

communication is everything
I’m not great at it but I’ve come a long way

 

[atlsfinest]

Met at a party. Had no idea she was feeling me. All my boys were roasting me for not getting her number. Was really drunk. Very fortunate to run in to her again two weeks later at a some rooftop bar. Didn’t miss my opportunity the 2nd time.

One thing that really helped me was learning that it’s ok to have ups and downs you have to step back and look at the big picture. Realize you’re building something together and the little things don’t matter

communication is everything
I’m not great at it but I’ve come a long way

You make a very good point about it being okay to have ups and downs. I think in this social media era where are we see is idealized versions of people and their relationships, it's very easy for couples to feel like they are the only ones going through issues and everyone else has it easy. The couples showing you that they're having a great time have ups and downs and their relationship. No relationship is perfect.

I also think that dating apps make people a lot less willing to put in the work in relationships. They know they can just hop on their phone and find somebody new.

I've said it before but I think something that really helps with me and my wife is that both of our parents have been married for over 30 years. We both understand that relationships have ups and downs and know what it takes to make relationships work.

 

[danikerhino]

Met her on a chatroom as a joke trying to prove to my friend that meeting people online doesn't happen. We went on some dates and we clicked instantaneously. The best advice I can give is be honest, empathetic, transparent, and patient. Also communication is key and support them even though they say they don't need it.

 

[Peep Game]

Twitter. Found out we stayed nowhere from each other after hopping in mentions and DMing. FF years later and we have a 4 year old that’ll be starting school in the fall.

 

[aepps20]

Met her at the local fast food restaurant call Chez Honk. Me and whywesteppin just finished another 26 hour shift in the mines when this gorgeous woman with golden locks looked my way. This was after Obama's 202 win so the mood was pretty low. She came up to me and asked if I liked Liberals and I told her that they weren't even human. The rest is history. Pic of Bae for the beasts.

Spoiler

 

[wayniac211]

Everyone meets at work.

I thought everybody met on the apps

Their on the apps at work

 

[whywesteppin]

Met her at the local fast food restaurant call Chez Honk. Me and whywesteppin just finished another 26 hour shift in the mines when this gorgeous woman with golden locks looked my way. This was after Obama's 202 win so the mood was pretty low. She came up to me and asked if I liked Liberals and I told her that they weren't even human. The rest is history. Pic of Bae for the beasts.

Spoiler

Oh, what a night, Late October back in 2012....

I remember I told you, "that's the one, that's the one!" And you squinted before pulling out your hanky to wipe the coal dust off your glasses, and I'll never forget what you said next: "What a dapper lady, she has that sugar mama appeal."

 

[aepps20]

Oh, what a night, Late October back in 2012....

I remember I told you, "that's the one, that's the one!" And you squinted before pulling out your hanky to wipe the coal dust off your glasses, and I'll never forget what you said next: "What a dapper lady, she has that sugar mama appeal."

That's why we're best friends forever famb. She thought we were in Coal Face but our economic anxiety made us hit RustyShackleford with the Xbox fade.

 

[af1 1982]

Met my girl through a coworker. She was his wife’s bridesmaid. We been talking for about 7 months and dating for 5.

Although it hasn’t been that along very well. A large part of that is me getting older and emotionally mature.

1) Swallow your pride. Admit when you’re wrong but also stand your ground if you think you’re right

2) Communicate clearly, effectively, and often

3) Live as if you don’t “need” the other person and you can walk away from the relationship at any time. Don’t expect them to fix your problems. Fix your problems so that you can be the best for them

4) Always be mindful of their feelings, wants, and needs

 

[Coromanti]

Ran into this video on the innanetz and it seemed topical:

 

[...]

3) Live as if you don’t “need” the other person and you can walk away from the relationship at any time.

Not so sure about this one. I'd done this my whole life, up until my present relationship with my fiance, and I think that sort of mindset prevented me from committing 100%.

 

[adobecs4]

Met her at work (was working retail, ironically I had put in a department transfer and she was hired to be my replacement). Biggest things I have learned are communication is absolutely key. Venting and not holding things in has been a life changer. Not letting pride or ego determine an action is something I've learned from her. To be completely honest, she is the first one I can just be 100% me around. She loves my music tastes, video game taste, passion for sports, art, etc. She's there with me for those events almost all the time. And of course she gets that in return from me. She's put me onto a lot of dope things, and some really important views on life. During the most ugliest times (and by ugly I mean we were not under the same roof for a bit when it was Rocky) we just couldn't end it. Something brought us back together, and it's been life changing. We're 5+ years in. Plan on proposing this year. A favorite song of mine to refer to when I try and describe my view of our relationship:

 

[nawghtyhare]

We met at southland mall in Hayward in 2008
I was eating a Cinnabon
And we bumped into each other
As we were walking passed each other
And I dropped it
Told her to buy me another and give me her number
That night we went to the club
She picked me up at my house
We drove to the spot
We danced all night
It was this club in SF called “the room”
Off mission st
Had our first kiss as buy u a drink was playin
After the club we went to emeryville to try and catch Denny’s
But it was closed
We went to union city to Ihop
Since it was 24hrs
Then back in the car on the way home
Tpain “ I can’t believe it” was on repeat
I started touching her thigh
Rubbing it the gradually going under her dress
Then fingering her as she was driving on the freeway
She was moaning and kissing me
She was wet as hell
We get in front of my spot
I said **** it
Started eating her out on the car
Then maybe 20 min later
We both said **** it
And went to the motel 6 off heganburger
By the jack in the box by Oakland airport
Had to wait like an hour for check in
So we in the car still got I can’t believe it on repeat.
Got the condoms and the energy drinks from the gas station
She singing Trina and killer mike “look back at me” word for word
I’m impressed and ready
Finally able to get in the room
I wear that p out
She suck the d like I never had it sucked
And man we been together ever since
Proposed at Disneyland in front of the castle during the fire works in 2015
And married in 2017




Also the keys to a successful relationship are to sometimes just let stuff go
U don’t have to win EVERY argument
Even if ur in the right
Some stuff is more important that YOUR ego
Communication IS key
But that also means realizing when u should just shut the **** up

 

[stay lurkin]

We met at southland mall in Hayward in 2008
I was eating a Cinnabon
And we bumped into each other
As we were walking passed each other
And I dropped it
Told her to buy me another and give me her number
That night we went to the club
She picked me up at my house
We drove to the spot
We danced all night
It was this club in SF called “the room”
Off mission st
Had our first kiss as buy u a drink was playin
After the club we went to emeryville to try and catch Denny’s
But it was closed
We went to union city to Ihop
Since it was 24hrs
Then back in the car on the way home
Tpain “ I can’t believe it” was on repeat
I started touching her thigh
Rubbing it the gradually going under her dress
Then fingering her as she was driving on the freeway
She was moaning and kissing me
She was wet as hell
We get in front of my spot
I said **** it
Started eating her out on the car
Then maybe 20 min later
We both said **** it
And went to the motel 6 off heganburger
By the jack in the box by Oakland airport
Had to wait like an hour for check in
So we in the car still got I can’t believe it on repeat.
Got the condoms and the energy drinks from the gas station
She singing Trina and killer mike “look back at me” word for word
I’m impressed and ready
Finally able to get in the room
I wear that p out
She suck the d like I never had it sucked
And man we been together ever since
Proposed at Disneyland in front of the castle during the fire works in 2015
And married in 2017




Also the keys to a successful relationship are to sometimes just let stuff go
U don’t have to win EVERY argument
Even if ur in the right
Some stuff is more important that YOUR ego
Communication IS key
But that also means realizing when u should just shut the **** up

my man

 

[atlsfinest]

Also the keys to a successful relationship are to sometimes just let stuff go
U don’t have to win EVERY argument
Even if ur in the right
Some stuff is more important that YOUR ego
Communication IS key
But that also means realizing when u should just shut the **** up

Some of the best advice I got from a co-worker regarding arguments is this:

A lot of people fight to win the argument when you should be fighting to save your relationship. what's the point of winning an argument if your relationship is worse off afterwards? What exactly did you win? This was a particularly hard one for me because I can be very stubborn. I just had to learn to just let stuff go