dblplay1212
I get what you're saying. I remember when I was a kid, at least where I'm from, calling someone f_____ wasn't necessarily meant to imply he was gay, but it was used a lot to describe someone who was being annoying, stupid, obnoxious, etc. as hell. I mean, as a kid, I knew the homophobic meaning of the word too, but that's not how it was generally used in my circle. We knew kids who were most likely gay but we never abused them or referred to them with that word.
When I got older and actually met more openly gay people though, I remember thinking "Nah even though my intent isn't to be homophobic, the people around me would get hurt regardless" and stopped using the word immediately. It's not even hard to do, which is why it's bizarre to see people argue for hours about why they deserve to be able to use certain offensive words.
It's kind of like a more hurtful/extreme version of how many of us used to refer to women as "b____" back in the day even if we had no negative feelings towards them. "That b____ is
" You wouldn't catch me referring to my woman or any woman I respect as a b_____ today though. I'm not perfect, I still refer to male or female as that if they attack me in some way, but I avoid throwing it around lightly.