Losing friendships with people after they have kids unappreciation

[Brownstone]

Understandable, the relationship changes and I am ok with that. Kids are a different ball game. It's why I have decided not to have any yet. I can already tell it's going to be a divider for me and my lady, she was ready yesterday while I am just now entering the stage of THINKING about it. I was raised as an only child so my friends are literally my siblings to an extent. Even I understand that when I decide to have kids the game changes.

I just laugh when my friends all make the comment of "I am not dying, I am just having kids, I'll still go out man!" Yeah right, I know why they say it, but they can't live up to the hype, its about commitment, and to have a meaningful relationship with your lady you have to make the kid a priority.

 

[Fozz]

Majority of my close friends all have kids and completely understand that priorities change for some.

The friends who have yet to have kids understand that.

We all still have a group chat and communicate that way.

it's a part of life and growing up. I learned who the real ones were and who weren't.

 

[Xennial]

I feel like this happens to dudes more than girls, most of the females i know still have more vibrant social lives than the dudes even in their 30s

 

[a blinkin]

I’ve experienced this over the past few years. Lost a majority of my friends from college because they began their adult lives (marriage, kids, etc) and I didn’t necessarily fit in with what they had on their horizon. I don’t harbor resentment or anything, just accepted that life panned out differently for us. It helps to remember the good times, but I continue on with life as it comes.

 

[vood99]

I feel like this happens to dudes more than girls, most of the females i know still have more vibrant social lives than the dudes even in their 30s

With married women who have kids, they organize birthday parties, kid outings, etc... so it might be somewhat easier to stay connected. However I know some single women who don't really connect with some of their friends who have kids.

You just have to accept it as a part of life and make new relationships.

 

[hipstermike]

my wife is god parents to her friends kids but we see them maybe once every couple years lol

 

[getback]

I’ve experienced this over the past few years. Lost a majority of my friends from college because they began their adult lives (marriage, kids, etc) and I didn’t necessarily fit in with what they had on their horizon. I don’t harbor resentment or anything, just accepted that life planned out differently for us. It helps to remember the good times, but I continue on with life as it comes.

Same. And I share your exact sentiment. I just hit the strip club dolo now

If my friends are fulfilled and happy living that family/dad life, I'm happy for them. I do find that a little bit of their frustration comes out when they do get a chance to get out and the liquor starts flowing

 

[a blinkin]

Same. And I share your exact sentiment. I just hit the strip club dolo now

If my friends are fulfilled and happy living that family/dad life, I'm happy for them. I do find that a little bit of their frustration comes out when they do get a chance to get out and the liquor starts flowing

Exactly. At least 3 of my close friends have expressed how much the envy the fact that I’m still “outchea and not tied down.”

That life seems appealing every now and then. But between the horror stories I’ve heard about marriages going down the drain, witnessing friends having to deal with an angry mother/father of the kid they share post breakup, and them flat out telling me I shouldn’t get married, something always presents itself that makes me say “nah... I’m cool.”