Lost my fiance right after Thanksgiving. What was the hardest death you've dealt with?

gymjones

gymjones

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I still find myself randomly crying. We were together for 8 years and I was the last person she spoke to before dying. She had complications with her surgery and I had to bring her back in to the hospital. She never made it out. I had to tell her kids (my step kids) that now they have 2 dead parents. What was the worst death you had to deal with?
 
It's always gonna hurt. Just try to fill your days with things that bring you happiness. You are young (I assume) and will find a new partner eventually. Love never dies.
 
I am so sorry for your loss. NT was there for me when my mother passed back in 21 and truthfully it still hurts. I want to be there for you and will PM you separately. Methodical Management Methodical Management made one of the kindest comments anyone in my life made about loss and how our loved ones still live through us and the people we touch. I wish I had the right words to say to make things better but just know that we are all here for you.
 
I can’t even imagine what that feels like bro, my sincere condolences for your loss. 🤲
 
gymjones said:
I still find myself randomly crying. We were together for 8 years and I was the last person she spoke to before dying. She had complications with her surgery and I had to bring her back in to the hospital. She never made it out. I had to tell her kids (my step kids) that now they have 2 dead parents. What was the worst death you had to deal with?
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Sorry to hear that news man.

What will happen with the kids moving forward?

Sad situation.
 
My condolences OP. Dad's passing was probably the hardest I've dealt

I hope you can some peace in due time
 
My condolences. I cannot even imagine and wish you the best while getting through this.

I’ve been fortunate enough not to have had anyone close to me die in my adult life. My dad died when I was 6, I was certainly too young to comprehend it at the time. But the pain has never full gone away (once I was old enough to recognize the emotions) the sad feelings get fewer and far between but there are times I definitely still wonder.

I truly wish you the best OP, I cannot begin to imagine what you’re going through.
 
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gymjones said:
I still find myself randomly crying. We were together for 8 years and I was the last person she spoke to before dying. She had complications with her surgery and I had to bring her back in to the hospital. She never made it out. I had to tell her kids (my step kids) that now they have 2 dead parents. What was the worst death you had to deal with?
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Nothing that I've gone through even comes close to what you've experience. I'm sorry that you've lost your Significant Other OP. Just make sure to talk to someone when you feel that you have to. Family, close friends, professional therapists, etc.
 
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Sorry to hear this man I've never experienced anything like this, but I do know talking to a therapist has helped me alot in big situations in my life
 
I couldn't imagine the pain you're experiencing right now. Everyone finds their own idea of "peace" with time. As a person that has issues with opening up myself and realizing the how helpful it is to talk with people going through similar situation, please considering using NT as your outlet to vent or talk through it if you feel like you need an outlet outside of personal close friends/family.


The hardest lost was my grandmother when I was around 12.
 
Based Jesus said:
I don't think this advice is helpful in any way. If my SO just died this is the last thing I'd want to hear.

My condolences OP. My uncle's death was the hardest. If I could have 15 minutes with anyone, it would be him.
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Love isn't infinite?

Over the holidays I caught up with 2 men who lost their wives in recent years, both to cancer. We're talking 20-30 year relationships. They both have new partners and seem happy. The pain is never going to go away but living is better than ruminating.
 
eracism said:
Love isn't infinite?

Over the holidays I caught up with 2 men who lost their wives in recent years, both to cancer. We're talking 20-30 year relationships. They both have new partners and seem happy. The pain is never going to go away but living is better than ruminating.
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I don't think anyone is saying you are WRONG but the timing is just off.
 
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Thank you for the condolences.

I've experienced one grandmother passing when I was about 5 and then another about two years ago.

This loss understandably hit harder because we lived together and literally have not been apart since we met 8 years ago this time around Christmas. we moved to the west coast from the east coast so the kids have went back to be closer with the remaining family. Although it leaves me alone in our house it would be selfish for me to keep them here when they have more support there.

I'm 39 and although I'm sure I could meet someone else my mind/heart are not even in that direction. This was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

For now I have just tried to stay in the gym and talking to God and friends and family. My plan for now is just to work on bettering myself mentally and physically.

The process after losing someone you love keeps you busy and you find out things you never knew. Her daughter found a life to-do list that she kept in her bag that last entries were to have a kid with me and get a new house together. That really got me.

I have just found peace in knowing I lost her to God and not someone else.

If you have someone you love even if you are not on the best terms let them know you love them. Nothing is promised in this life.
 
I couldn’t imagine. I hope you find the path you need to heal and strength to carry forward.

Best wishes.
 
gymjones said:
I still find myself randomly crying. We were together for 8 years and I was the last person she spoke to before dying. She had complications with her surgery and I had to bring her back in to the hospital. She never made it out. I had to tell her kids (my step kids) that now they have 2 dead parents. What was the worst death you had to deal with?
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Man I’m so sorry for you. I’m praying for strength and love bro.
 
Hang in there OP, I’m struggling from a family loss as well.

Quote from one of my favorite movies.

If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them.

Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.
 
I'm so so sorry man...I know this time of year can feel like torture when you're dealing with a loss

When I lost my parents, I was so afraid that I would forget things about them as time passed so I started writing down my thoughts and memories about them

Everyone is different, but for me it was extremely helpful to get that stuff written down instead of having it swimming around in my head all the time

If you feel like talking about it on a more personal level please feel free to PM me
 
I hope you are surrounded by a lot of love and tranquility at this time.

Ive learned that keeping yourself too busy and not letting yourself mourn the loss, can result in very ugly and depressive behavior.

I think about loss. All the time. Sometimes too much. Almost to prepare me for the worst. But i doubt it will be what i think it is. We will never be prepared for the sadness it brings. Only wish we have ppl around us who can just be present.
 
My condolences bro

If you ever need to speak to someone feel free to dm me any time -
praying for you and your late fiancés family ❤️
 
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