Niketalk, have any confessions? Vol. Damn, I Don't Know How To Swim

[jason23richardson]

%@* like half of yall come out the woodworks committing to that nasty fart thing.. is that what's good in the streets?

 

[conductzero]

Originally Posted by CIDMAN911

Oh, Wow...I almost forgot about this one.

I already shared this one, but this was way back in like 2003.

When I was 7 or 8 I was a really picky eater. Like super picky. But I had one of those super strict moms that didn't play and would beat my butt red if I didn't eat the food she made. So then, I dunno how I got the idea, I started crapping my pants on purpose to avoid foods I didn't like. So like if she made rice with the vegetables I was like "The vegetables I ate hurt my stomach" but she'd be like "Yea right" so then I'd crap in my pants on purpose while I was fakin the stomach aches. They took me to the doctor to find out what was wrong, but he just told my parents to avoid feeding me foods that made me crap myself. I had to go to extreme measure to manipulate my parents, but uff it....it worked.

 

[rlak824]

Im currently trying to smash this girl I meet saturday at starbucks but she has a boyfriend Im thinking about actually going through with it. One side of mybrain is saying don't and the other is saying hell $%*# her brains out.

 

[kl9]

- I didn't learn subtraction till fourth grade
- Had to learn it through a video from the library
- Lied to my dad for three years

...I learned multiplication in first grade though

 

[cidman911]

Ya'll gotta come through with some real confessions.

 

[hella handsome]

i 21 and cant swim either

 

[Deleted member 38307]

I had a wake-up call this weekend, and realized I need to stop drinking.

 

[nicefro]

Originally Posted by MOEree5e

when i was in 5th grade, i used to fart on the edge of my bed while i was playing video games or watching tv.............



then get up and smell the exact same spot where i passed gas.......and enjoy it


like..........*FART*...........*SNIFF*.........*

*.....*

*


i have no idea what used to make me do this?!?

 

[new wu]

Originally Posted by KL9

- I didn't learn subtraction till fourth grade
- Had to learn it through a video from the library
- Lied to my dad for three years

...I learned multiplication in first grade though

OP, PLEEEEEAAAAAAAAASE stop. Your killin me here.

.

 

[youneedthese]

Originally Posted by CIDMAN911

I've shot down dome from at least 5 different co-workers when I worked at Footlocker. I just couldn't do it....Stuff like that just comes back to haunt you later. One girl constantly flashed me and this puerto rican dude I worked with. He was gonna quit but since she was doming him up in the bathroom or in his car after work almost everyday, he stayed.

Lmao. whats good with all these freak FL stories. They be hiring J.O like that?

 

[kl9]

Originally Posted by New Wu

Originally Posted by KL9

- I didn't learn subtraction till fourth grade
- Had to learn it through a video from the library
- Lied to my dad for three years

...I learned multiplication in first grade though

OP, PLEEEEEAAAAAAAAASE stop. Your killin me here.

.

I wish I was kidding too.

Add onto the list of math failures:

- I've taken EVERY math class twice (made up) since 8th grade,

.

 

[new wu]

Originally Posted by KL9

Originally Posted by New Wu

Originally Posted by KL9

- I didn't learn subtraction till fourth grade
- Had to learn it through a video from the library
- Lied to my dad for three years

...I learned multiplication in first grade though

OP, PLEEEEEAAAAAAAAASE stop. Your killin me here.

.

I wish I was kidding too.

Add onto the list of math failures:

- I've taken EVERY math class twice (made up) since 8th grade,

.

.

*DEAD*

 

[ebpo]

I can't ride a skateboard either.
I still find it very hard to tell time with "clock hands" but yet I asked for a watch this Christmas

I always get stuck in the "friend zone"

Edit: And it seems like I'm really good at killing thread!

 

[mr jordan04]

Originally Posted by KL9

I can't swim

.

 

[longrange3ball]

Originally Posted by KL9

Originally Posted by LongRange3Ball

^ its all good OP, i didnt know how to swim until like 5th grade, and even then i don't swim very well. and I didn't learn how to ride a bike til 3rd grade.

I can't skateboard... at all.

You serious?

I'm 21 and can't swim, didn't learn to ride a bike to 6th grade, and skateboarding? I can't even stand on top of one without falling.

well, seemed like every kid but me knew how to do all those by 1st grade. I felt like a bum.

and being on a college campus where like 50% of people board to class... makes me say "damn I wish I could do that"

EDIT: How bout this one OP. I'm 22 and I have never had a job. Not even mcdonalds... working at blockbuster, or one of those side gigs to earn some cash.

 

[milestailsprowe]

The Manga Nana To Kaoru has me WANTING SOOOOOOOO BADLY to the BDMS lifestlye.

I learned EVERYTHING I know about women, sex and how to work the stick from the manga Futari Ecchi. That %@+@ is a modern day kamastura

 

[danzinreallife]

Damn, I'm suprised a lot of ya'll can't swim... Learnt when I was three

This guy I've been half seeing drunkenly text me that he luvd me (yes spelt that way, not as serious I know) and even though I know he was drunk, it stillhas me running a mile away.

 

[the coolness]

Originally Posted by solematic j21

Originally Posted by OctobersFinest

Originally Posted by KL9

Originally Posted by OctobersFinest

Hyperhidrosis, google it, it sucks.

Sweating a little too much, can't be that bad...Right?

It's just annoying when you're the only person with a shiny forehead and it aint even that hot. I'd rather not know how to swim.

Your head be steaming in the winter?

YES!

Is that what that is? We were playing ball outside over thanksgiving break up in Michigan, near Flint. I was working up a sweat when suddenly my cousin stopsand tells me that there's steam radiating from my head...thank you NT

 

[35kd]

Originally Posted by KL9

Originally Posted by New Wu

Originally Posted by KL9

- I didn't learn subtraction till fourth grade
- Had to learn it through a video from the library
- Lied to my dad for three years

...I learned multiplication in first grade though

OP, PLEEEEEAAAAAAAAASE stop. Your killin me here.

.

I wish I was kidding too.

Add onto the list of math failures:

- I've taken EVERY math class twice (made up) since 8th grade,

.

Aren't you asian as well?

 

[marlsj]

Originally Posted by CIDMAN911

There's no real confessions in this thread.

Lemme see...

My mom caught me fapping when I was like 13. I guess the pron was a little too loud, but I thought I was home alone. When I heard my door creak open I tried to run into my bedsheets with my pants down, butt cheeks exposed and all (SMH) to hide and she yelled out "Ay Maria Santisima!!" and shut the door. To this day she denies that she ever caught me wackin the weasel and when I bring it up she tells me to shut up, sometimes she even gets pissed and smacks me upside the head.

This one time I was mad tired, like od super passed out tired, and my girl woke me up for some quick sex. So I got up, hit it from the back for a little and nutted inside (she wasn't of birth control), I guess I completely woke up a little after that and I was like "Babe, Did I nut inside you? Fuuuuuuuuuuu" Then she was like "Are you kidding me....you know you PIITB right?" I was like "I did?" Then she said "Woooow, that is so messed up. You couldn't tell the difference between the two holes?" I said "I was pretty much asleep the whole time, I dunno even know what the hell happened.....We had sex right?" You can pretty much assume how pissed a girl might be with you after something like that happens.

Let me think of more...

 

[Johnny_Cakes]

- I can't swim.
- My classes for next semester are busier than I'd like them to be.
- I'm praying that my crappy, non-transferable grade in math won't matter to the UC (I'm an English major).
- If I'm able to pull it off and transfer this coming year, I'll be stuck deciding between UCLA and California.
- Money has gotten tight recently, everything is too expensive.
- This girl I'm talking to has a dude, but she's flirty as hell. I should know better, but we'll see

 

[iluvjordanxi]

I am more interested in romance then sexual conduct.
my room smells bad
i have 5 essays due in 8 hrs and I only finished 1 so I'm pulling an all nighter but I'm procrastinating badly, just 5 minutes ago I was playing nba2k10

 

[KingParappa]

Originally Posted by the coolness

Originally Posted by solematic j21

Originally Posted by OctobersFinest

Originally Posted by KL9

Originally Posted by OctobersFinest

Hyperhidrosis, google it, it sucks.

Sweating a little too much, can't be that bad...Right?

It's just annoying when you're the only person with a shiny forehead and it aint even that hot. I'd rather not know how to swim.

Your head be steaming in the winter?

YES!

Is that what that is? We were playing ball outside over thanksgiving break up in Michigan, near Flint. I was working up a sweat when suddenly my cousin stops and tells me that there's steam radiating from my head...thank you NT

That happens to me too. And I'm a big dude so the steam comes from my whole body. It looks like I escaped from Hell

 

[cidman911]

This one is wild...

When I was like 10 my parents rented out the basement to a few people they knew. One day for no reason I went into his room to snoop around and underneath thisone guys mattress was a ton of money and buncha little bags of what probably were coke (or heroin...I dunno the difference). I took like $100. I think likeevery week for a month I went in there to steal a $100 but one day he caught me. I tried to be slick about it and hide but he came home and stayed in his roomso eventually I knew I had to get out or my parents would be looking for me. I crawled out from underneath the bed and as I crawled out dude got up and waslike "

....What are you doing in here?" Then he said "It wasyou thats been stealing my money right?" Then he punched me in the face. A man punch at that. But I remember I took it like a G got up and probably causeI watched so much NY Undercover as a kid I had the balls to tell this dude I was gonna tell my pops he had mad drugs if he told on me. He let me out his room,smacked me like twice upside the head before he let me out. I think I tried to punch back cant remember. He never told my parent tho. Dude moved out a littleafter that and we never saw him again.

Extortion at age 10....I was like a real life hispanic version of Fresh.

 

[cidman911]

This one only me and my boy know about....

When I was around 13 me and my best friend were some pretty damn bad kids. We used to shoplift A LOT!!! We got caught stealing in like 4 stores in the mall butthey always let us go and I guess word spread that we stole a lot cause the security guards used to follow us when they recognized us. One day we were tryingto get stuff out the mall but since we were being followed so much we couldn't do nothing so we left. When we were riding bikes home my boy was like"I just wanna steal SOMETHING" so I was like..."I know, come on, let's go to the supermarket". We ended up stealing 2 of thoserotisserie chickens they sell by the deli counter and we kept stealing them for like a year whenever we got bored. The funny thing is we HATED security guards.But when we grew up guess what jobs we got? Security guard jobs.