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whats spoiler[+]???
nt tell me a joke........make it funny tho
- Thread in 'General' Thread starter Started by rufusmac23,
- Start date
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Took me a sec but damn.Originally Posted by sportinjordans916
Funny story... I was driving home from work last week and got a text message and looked down for a second and traffic stopped and I rear ended the car infront of meI hear the guy in the car that I hit yell out "F*#k!!" and I am thinking oh crap this sucks
All of a sudden his door swings open and a ****** jumped out of the car and I startedHe walks right up to my car window pounds on the window and I apologize and his reply was "I AM NOT HAPPY!" To which I replied "oh, well which one are you then?"
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two sausages are in a pan one says to the other boy is it hot in here
the other says holy $#!+ a talking sausage
the other says holy $#!+ a talking sausage
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An American, a Chinese, and a Mexican were on a plane. They hit some turbulence and the pilot says "We need to get rid of some cargo or we're going tocrash!" The Chinese man throws out all his chopsticks that he planned to sell and says "I have plenty back in China, it's fine." The Mexicanthrows out all his ponchos and says "There are plenty in Mexico, it's okay." The American looks at his luggage and pushes the Mexican off theplane and says "There's are plenty of those in my country, it's all good."
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How can you tell an NTer is dumb?
Spoiler [+]
Spoiler [+]
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OMG! Im racist!
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Basterd
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So a person posts a topic on how he gets dome for a minute and posts a picture of a text with the number in it...lulz after
http://niketalk.com/topic/203948
http://niketalk.com/topic/203948
TheGodFresco
formerly gsdoubleu
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just a heads up, last time there was a joke thread, lots of people got banned for racist jokes
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Caught!Originally Posted by doosta45
i thought my mouse was tripping
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How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
It's not hard.
It's not hard.
10eazye
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There are a lot of funny jokes in here. Haha @ the blind man joke.
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sportinjordans916
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What's the first thing a woman does when she leaves a battered womens shelter?
the dishes if she knows what's good for her.
the dishes if she knows what's good for her.
dendanskesimon
Banned
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Why did the lil girl cross the road?
I stapled her to the chicken.
I stapled her to the chicken.
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so two guys were doing it for two hours and one of the guys had to use the bathroom. he told the other guy "ay dont nut on anything while im gone"
when the guy comes back from the bathroom he sees nut everywhere... on the walls, lamp, door and dresser, he goes "i thought i told you not to nut onanything while i was gone!"
the second guy goes "i didnt, i farted."
when the guy comes back from the bathroom he sees nut everywhere... on the walls, lamp, door and dresser, he goes "i thought i told you not to nut onanything while i was gone!"
the second guy goes "i didnt, i farted."
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How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes keep piling up...
The sex is the same but the dishes keep piling up...
kdawg
Staff member
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What's blue and doesn't fit?
A dead epileptic.
A man is driving down a country road and his car breaks down near a monastery.
He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"
The Monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, show him to a room, and even fixes his car.
As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound, a sound not like anything he's ever heard before.
The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure outwhat could possibly be making such a seductive sound. The next morning, he asks the Monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you.You're not a Monk."
Distraught, the man is forced to leave. Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answeragain.
The Monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a Monk."
The man says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a Monk, then please, make me a Monk."
The Monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find theanswer to these questions, you will have become a Monk."
The man sets about his task. After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A Monk answers. He is takenbefore a gathering of all the Monks.
"In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I traveled the earth and have found what you asked for: By design, the world is in a state ofperpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away selfdeception."
The Monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a Monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound." !
The Monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says,
"The sound is beyond that door."
The Monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the key to the stone door and heopens it, only to find a door made of ruby. And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond. Finally, they come to a door made ofsolid gold. The sound has now become very clear and definite.
The Monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."
The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind that door!
With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the knob, and slowly pushes the door open. Falling to his knees, he is utterly amazed to discover the sourceof that haunting and seductive sound.....
A dead epileptic.
A man is driving down a country road and his car breaks down near a monastery.
He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"
The Monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, show him to a room, and even fixes his car.
As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound, a sound not like anything he's ever heard before.
The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure outwhat could possibly be making such a seductive sound. The next morning, he asks the Monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you.You're not a Monk."
Distraught, the man is forced to leave. Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answeragain.
The Monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a Monk."
The man says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a Monk, then please, make me a Monk."
The Monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find theanswer to these questions, you will have become a Monk."
The man sets about his task. After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A Monk answers. He is takenbefore a gathering of all the Monks.
"In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I traveled the earth and have found what you asked for: By design, the world is in a state ofperpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away selfdeception."
The Monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a Monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound." !
The Monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says,
"The sound is beyond that door."
The Monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the key to the stone door and heopens it, only to find a door made of ruby. And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond. Finally, they come to a door made ofsolid gold. The sound has now become very clear and definite.
The Monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."
The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind that door!
With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the knob, and slowly pushes the door open. Falling to his knees, he is utterly amazed to discover the sourceof that haunting and seductive sound.....
Spoiler [+]
But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a Monk.
10eazye
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- May 20, 2009
That's dirty hahaha.
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K-Dawg, not cool, man.
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10eazye
Banned
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Originally Posted by FromThaTown
K-Dawg, not cool, man.
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this thread had me in tears
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