NT: True Life- Meeting my "Long Lost" 18 Year old sister for the first time. Thoughts ?

[mecks]

Sup NT , I have a slightly personal story I would like to share, only because I can't even organize my thoughts and I feel very uncomfortable talking about this with any of my close family. That being said,

When I was younger my father told me that I had a sister in Arizona, I was about 6 years old when he "broke the news". But telling me at that age I was just like oh well that's cool. As I grew older people would always ask me how many siblings do you have ? "Just one in Arizona, I've never met her though." People would always ask me , we'll why not ? Then I'd have to dive into the story if how when my parents were Seperated my father moved to an army base in Arizona and had another kid, almost always portraying my father as a villain when I only intended to state facts. Many , many years went by and I never dwelled on the chance of meeting her. My father and her mother had a very hostile relationship to the point where whenever my father tried to look for her/them she would move/change numbers etc, and the child support would be sent to a P.O. Box. After a decade, I felt like my father ultimately gave up, she had full custody and a restraining order against him so he legally had no right at all to see her, and to me it was not such a big deal.

About 6 months ago my father (we don't have the best relationship either) texts me saying "I found your sister" and I was surprised, but also didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to feel exactly, to be honest. I then asked where ? He found her on Facebook. My guess is that every week or so he'd google her name hoping to find some shred of her existence. He got lucky. After this I messaged her literally saying "hey... I'm your brother" what was I supposed to say ? I felt so awkward , what do you say in that situation "Guess what! I'm the brother you never knew about! "

I slowly built up our relationship and made it known that whatever actions I took with her (such as going to meet her , sending her money etc. ) were strictly my actions and had no connection with our father unless I stated so. Come to find out it was a very good decision to do this as I think she was some sort of (understandable) resentment towards our father.

Anyways. Next week is my spring break. Instead of going out partying im driving 7 hours from Los Angeles to Phoenix. She's having a baby due around may, and I thought if take this opportunity to finally see her, and I guess get to know her. In all honesty I'm nervous. I don't know how I'm supposed to act or... Even why I'm doing all of this. To me it just seems like the right thing to do, I've told people also and none of them are surprised at al and my mother is actually being very supportive. I'm actially afraid of how her mother will act, I just hope she doesn't think my father is "forcing me " to do this or just using me as a way to get to her. This is what I decided to do... And I paid for everything myself.

Has anyone had this type of situation ? I just needed to get that off my chest. Really nervous as hell and don't want to start crying or something corny like that when I see her for the first time


-Mecks

Spoiler

see a resemblance ?

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Update 1:
My mind has been all over the place literally forgot about this thread lol.... I left LA yesterday at 2:30 AM got to Phoenix around 7:40 (apparently that's really good time?)

I was trying to see her yesterday but she said her mom wouldn't let her leave because they are getting the baby's room ready. I was a tad :/ but I had been up for 36 hours so I really did not mind, I took a shower then fell asleep around 2pm Long much needed nap until 8pm. Went out for dinner with my girl and decided to just hit my sister up the next day.

Today I tried calling various times and I felt like she was dodging me, then I thought I was just being Paranoid, which proved true because just 30 minutes ago she texted me and told me to come by her house. Now I'm just sitting in my hotel getting the baby's presents/gifts ready and leaving for the 20 minutes drive to her house. I'm nervous as hell but also am feeling really happy . Ill update you guys with pics.

And keep telling jokes man you guys are crazy


Final Update (The Revelation)

I was texting her the whole day trying to see her. She hit me with , I'm at my grandmas party don't know when I'll be home. And I was like well I can come get you or pass by there. This was around 7pm and she started ignoring me. I tried calling once and hour until 9:30m by which time I realized she had blocked me on Facebook/twitter/Instagram. At this point I started to get upset. Not even about the brother/sister thing some might think. I was pest she had lead me on to come way the **** out here to meet her and spend time with her when all she intended to do was diss me and ignore me. I called Adrianna , and talked things over with her, and she convinced me to just show up to her door At 10pm. At this point I was so angry, I said **** it. Put on my cargo shorts my white cement 3's hopped on the freeway and started driving to her house. On the way I just felt sick. Like I literally felt like throwing up. I just could not believe all this **** I had went through to get out here n she's trying to ignore me.

I pull up to her house. I go to ring the door bell. It doesn't work. I knock on the door, her mom comes tot he door
"Hello?"
"Hi I'm David, I'm looking for ______ or _______ I'm _______ brother"
"Uh. Okay."
*closes the door*
At this point I'm standing there like.... Is she coming back or wtf ?
She comes back
"She's asleep. Did she tell you to come by now?"
"No, but I'm leaving tomorrow in the morning.you think you can wake her up"
"Um hold on"
I waited 20 minutes , literally. My sister comes to the door. "Oh hi"

I gave Her a hug, then confronted her about the way she was acting. And she had nothing to say. Didn't admit to blocking me on Facebook... And I was just like alright.... Well here are the gifts for the baby.... Spent the next hour and a half awkwardly talking about nothing with her mom. My sister didn't want to talk to me.



So. To wrap up everything. I was angry about how she led me on, I'm glad I had the balls to show unto her house. I have that out of my system that bring said this is not a relationship I wish to peruse anymore. Maybe as she gets old and matures she'll change and I guess want me around. But as of right now I don't see that happening. I'm just glad now ill never wonder "what if" or "how come...."

Now I know.

 

[joepac12]

My brother recently found his birth parents in Korea. Sort of similar

 

[gaseousfashion]

One of those feel good stories.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[crazy ebw]

The face in the pic is perfect for the story.

Never experienced something like this, but good luck on everything. Hopefully you guys can build some type of relationship and she is as willing to do so as you are.

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

My man....this is very similar to a portion of my life.


I was raised by my Mother.....never met my Father until I was 17 when I ran into my cousin that I hadn't seen since I was 5 or 6 years old. (this is back in 2002 before all the facebook and social media hype). I meet my father and come to find out, I have a half sister who is pretty young at the time (10 or so).

Everyone else in my family wanted nothing to do with my half-sister, but I held no grudges or ill-will directed at her. She was just the product/result of my Father's poor decisions and morals, but she shouldn't be held accountable and blamed for his poor judgement.

I met her and was excited to possibly play some role in her life and such. It became apparent though that she actually had a different perspective on the events of our family and we never really had the chance to discuss those in detail with her living in NY and me in the DC area. I've only seen her two or three times in my life, but I recently made an IG/FB and she reconnected with me on there.

I hope to head up to NY shortly and visit and keep in touch. She is 21/22 now and time has flown by. I always extended the invitation to her and have tried to be there since meeting her, but you can't force relationships upon people that don't want them. Hopefully time changes things.

 

[vladimir dinero]

good luck OP. my dad told me a couple of years ago that i have a half brother, but i have no desire to meet or build a relationship with him

 

[andretti]

Man go for it op

I gota lil story or sumthn also

Deadbeat dad
I finnaly met him when I was 13
He doesent look anything like meso I didn't belive that was him
Till he showed me a picture of my little brother I never met
And when I say he was a light skin version of me I'm dead *** serious
I also have a big bro I never met but we are in the same city
Now I don't know if I can meet him because he might get life or the death penalty (another story)
Since that happend I want to go meet my lil brother since my pops tossed him to the side
He really only cares about my sister I met one time


But yea good luck op

 

[elpablo21]

Dont think showing your emotions is corny

Hope it goes well

and she...looks....nice.

 

[nawghtyhare]

dont be nervous and im glad to see u found ur sister i hope yall can build and have a good relationship

 

[verdykt]

Awesome story man. thanks for sharing. I have a half sister that I met for the first time maybe 8 years ago. My mother had her before she was married to my dad. Her adoptive parents eventually ended up here in Utah and she had been hoping to find my mom after all these years. my mom told me this when I was like 14 so it wasnt a big shock when she found her. Its pretty cool to meet up. She was here just yesterday actually. good luck with your meeting. I hope you guys can build a relationship with one another. Hope her birth goes well. Being an uncle is awesome.

 

[airthompson]

Congrats OP on soon being an uncle, hope you have a safe trip, and her a safe pregnancy.

 

[spiceman80]

you guys have the same nose, cant see any other similiarites. As for her mom, unless you sister still lives at home there isn't much her mom can do or say to you. Just be respectful and let her know it's about you and sis building a relationship. You guys aren't responsible for the **** your parents do. Good luck to you and I hope things work out for you guys.

 

[lobotomybeats]

About 6 months ago my father (we don't have the best relationship either) texts me saying "I found your sister" and I was surprised, but also didn't know what to say.

Who drops this on their kid via text?


Good luck, man. I don't blame you for being nervous. I'd be nervous.

 

[furiousstylez23]

Im gonna knock your sis down homie.lol jk.

 

[djyoung08]

crazy stuff

 

[xinvasian661x]

hey man, good luck!

Of course it is as nerve racking experience but it's always good to try to develop a relationship with a family member than regretting it later in life.

 

[beezylocks]

bang her

 

[water]

One of those feel good stories.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[firmeporvida]

bang her

Do you bang your siblings?

 

[41239]

Im gonna knock your sis down homie.lol jk.

i

call

seconds????

thirds????

can she do that if shes prego?

 

[lexlieno]

Haha, my triflin' old man threw 14 year old kid in my car while in a Burger King parking lot...."This is your brother" *walks away*...

 

[asianplayer]

Never been in a situation similar to this, but you're doing everything right. You had nothing to do with what happened in the past, so there should be no animosity towards you. Even if her mom has a problem with it, your sister is old enough to make decisions for herself.

 

[iluvjordanxi]

I don't see the resemblance. Probably need more pics. Its hard to ask Nter for help when the most of us never went through this rare situation.

 

[tony montana]

Give her a big hug, smile,[cry a little if you want] be cool and act like yourself.. [cry a little if you want]

I always knew I had an older brother and older sister in spain.. One time they hit me up in facebook and we met up. it was pretty cool. & im an uncle

 

[guzzy]

My bad bruh,but

. You look stoned.

Went through the same thing with my pops. Never seen him my whole life, it was odd meeting him a couple months ago.

So many differences, not enough similarities, besides facial features.

I wasnt really nervous, didnt even have to meet him, just wanted to. Only thing I hoped for was that he wasnt a lame

(cheap, judgemental).

He turned out cool.

Dont be nervous,just be yourself, if she wants a relationship, you'll know.