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damn bro at least it not as bad as my first time meeting family in my city
felt we connected till my aunt told me they hated me
felt we connected till my aunt told me they hated me
NT: True Life- Meeting my "Long Lost" 18 Year old sister for the first time. Thoughts ?
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Last update.
I was texting her the whole day trying to see her. She hit me with , I'm at my grandmas party don't know when I'll be home. And I was like well I can come get you or pass by there. This was around 7pm and she started ignoring me. I tried calling once and hour until 9:30m by which time I realized she had blocked me on Facebook/twitter/Instagram. At this point I started to get upset. Not even about the brother/sister thing some might think. I was pest she had lead me on to come way the **** out here to meet her and spend time with her when all she intended to do was diss me and ignore me. I called Adrianna , and talked things over with her, and she convinced me to just show up to her door At 10pm. At this point I was so angry, I said **** it. Put on my cargo shorts my white cement 3's hopped on the freeway and started driving to her house. On the way I just felt sick. Like I literally felt like throwing up. I just could not believe all this **** I had went through to get out here n she's trying to ignore me.
I pull up to her house. I go to ring the door bell. It doesn't work. I knock on the door, her mom comes tot he door
"Hello?"
"Hi I'm David, I'm looking for ______ or _______ I'm _______ brother"
"Uh. Okay."
*closes the door*
At this point I'm standing there like.... Is she coming back or wtf ?
She comes back
"She's asleep. Did she tell you to come by now?"
"No, but I'm leaving tomorrow in the morning.you think you can wake her up"
"Um hold on"
I waited 20 minutes , literally. My sister comes to the door. "Oh hi"
I gave Her a hug, then confronted her about the way she was acting. And she had nothing to say. Didn't admit to blocking me on Facebook... And I was just like alright.... Well here are the gifts for the baby.... Spent the next hour and a half awkwardly talking about nothing with her mom. My sister didn't want to talk to me.
So. To wrap up everything. I was angry about how she led me on, I'm glad I had the balls to show unto her house. I have that out of my system that bring said this is not a relationship I wish to peruse anymore. Maybe as she gets old and matures she'll change and I guess want me around. But as of right now I don't see that happening. I'm just glad now ill never wonder "what if" or "how come...."
Now I know.
I was texting her the whole day trying to see her. She hit me with , I'm at my grandmas party don't know when I'll be home. And I was like well I can come get you or pass by there. This was around 7pm and she started ignoring me. I tried calling once and hour until 9:30m by which time I realized she had blocked me on Facebook/twitter/Instagram. At this point I started to get upset. Not even about the brother/sister thing some might think. I was pest she had lead me on to come way the **** out here to meet her and spend time with her when all she intended to do was diss me and ignore me. I called Adrianna , and talked things over with her, and she convinced me to just show up to her door At 10pm. At this point I was so angry, I said **** it. Put on my cargo shorts my white cement 3's hopped on the freeway and started driving to her house. On the way I just felt sick. Like I literally felt like throwing up. I just could not believe all this **** I had went through to get out here n she's trying to ignore me.
I pull up to her house. I go to ring the door bell. It doesn't work. I knock on the door, her mom comes tot he door
"Hello?"
"Hi I'm David, I'm looking for ______ or _______ I'm _______ brother"
"Uh. Okay."
*closes the door*
At this point I'm standing there like.... Is she coming back or wtf ?
She comes back
"She's asleep. Did she tell you to come by now?"
"No, but I'm leaving tomorrow in the morning.you think you can wake her up"
"Um hold on"
I waited 20 minutes , literally. My sister comes to the door. "Oh hi"
I gave Her a hug, then confronted her about the way she was acting. And she had nothing to say. Didn't admit to blocking me on Facebook... And I was just like alright.... Well here are the gifts for the baby.... Spent the next hour and a half awkwardly talking about nothing with her mom. My sister didn't want to talk to me.
So. To wrap up everything. I was angry about how she led me on, I'm glad I had the balls to show unto her house. I have that out of my system that bring said this is not a relationship I wish to peruse anymore. Maybe as she gets old and matures she'll change and I guess want me around. But as of right now I don't see that happening. I'm just glad now ill never wonder "what if" or "how come...."
Now I know.
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Grimey
At least you tried OP.
At least you tried OP.
shoeking2101
Banned
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My dad (who I haven't seen in person since I was 17. I'm 21 now) hasn't even told me he has another daughter. He doesn't even know that I know. |I
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SMH that's messed up. You tried man, that's all anyone can ask....
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I would be mad too if I drove to see someone, even it's one minute away, because that's me taking time out of my day to see you. The least she could've done was entertain your conversation and just leave it at that. She should've just said not to see her in the first place, so you didn't waste time or money...
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|I
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Shorty wrong for that , at least you got that trip out the way tho...i got a brother i met like twice, wouldnt even know it was him if we passed in the street
, at least you got that trip out the way tho...i got a brother i met like twice, wouldnt even know it was him if we passed in the street
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damn dog sucks how that turned out. Well, at least you tried.
sucks how that turned out. Well, at least you tried.
D
Deleted member 38307
Guest
She sounds really immature.
Sounds like you tried to do the right and mature thing, props to you sir
You seem like a good guy, it's her loss.
Sounds like you tried to do the right and mature thing, props to you sir
You seem like a good guy, it's her loss.
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She's an emotional wreck right now, at least her child has a cool uncle to get kicks for him.
lobotomybeats
Supporter
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my heart breaks for you, dude. I'm sorry it didn't go the way you hoped. As emotional as it was for you, I imagine it was equally emotional for her. Plus, you also have to take into consideration that you don't know what her mom has fed her. I'd venture to say that it didn't go down the way she wanted either.
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18 and with a baby on the way? She gets it from her Momma...
Sorry bro.
Sorry bro.
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props to you for taking the trip and putting in the effort...
keep on trying...thats your blood...shes having a baby at 18 while living at home with her mom so she could obviously need a little guidance..especially some male guidance..
good luck OP!
keep on trying...thats your blood...shes having a baby at 18 while living at home with her mom so she could obviously need a little guidance..especially some male guidance..
good luck OP!
sonoftony
Supporter
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damn, i came back to this thread hoping to hear good news 
sorry to hear that OP, hold your head and know that you at least tried. Keep us updated if anything happens.
sorry to hear that OP, hold your head and know that you at least tried. Keep us updated if anything happens.
elpablo21
Supporter
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Sorry to hear that fam.
Like others have said at least you put yourself out there to make this happen..Thats all you can do..the other half of this is on her
Like others have said at least you put yourself out there to make this happen..Thats all you can do..the other half of this is on her
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Hey man, you will always be glad you took the initiative and were the "bigger person". I'm sorry it didn't go how you (and we) had hoped.
Moheezy
formerly mizzoe33
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I'm sorry to hear that op.
I don't think I would give up that easily. She is in a fragile state at the moment. And knowing that her dad is not around and that the father of her child is not with her (I think?) it seems like she has trust issues with guys. All the more reason for you to be there for her, even just for emotional support.
Plus the way she acted, to me, it might be because of a few reasons:
-She was just as nervous as you. Maybe that was her defensive mechanism because she was scared to let another man in her life.
-Her mother might be putting thoughts in her head. Thoughts that are not necessarily in your favor. This actually happens pretty often.
-She is just immature like you are all saying.
I would probably send her one more message something in the lines of you being there for her and her new born, but put the ball in her court. You've done what you needed to do. Now it's up to her to smarten up.
I don't think I would give up that easily. She is in a fragile state at the moment. And knowing that her dad is not around and that the father of her child is not with her (I think?) it seems like she has trust issues with guys. All the more reason for you to be there for her, even just for emotional support.
Plus the way she acted, to me, it might be because of a few reasons:
-She was just as nervous as you. Maybe that was her defensive mechanism because she was scared to let another man in her life.
-Her mother might be putting thoughts in her head. Thoughts that are not necessarily in your favor. This actually happens pretty often.
-She is just immature like you are all saying.
I would probably send her one more message something in the lines of you being there for her and her new born, but put the ball in her court. You've done what you needed to do. Now it's up to her to smarten up.
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This sounds eerily similar how my younger half sister acted when I first met her about 8 years ago. I came to that same conclusion and she just reached out to me again last month trying to get me to come up to NY. Her words don't hold much weight though....when I make an offer or say I'll be there, I follow through. I'll put the onus on her to make more of an effort this time.
A successful relationship takes two people putting an equal time, effort, and energy.
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Your a good guy OP. keep on trying to build a relationship since ur blood. dont force anything and just take it slow if she uneasy about it. shes young, she will understand when she gets older.
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OP you're a really good dude.
Be proud of yourself for handling this entire situation like the biggest man humanly possible.
-You made an effort from the heart to do what you thought was right.
-You went above and beyond, making the drive, buying presents, and trying to work through her nervousness/hesitance.
-You stayed classy about the whole thing til the end.
Family is an interesting thing, and obviously it can throw you in a lot of situations that you didn't create. Who knows what has been going through your sister's head for all her life, and although you were able to fight through your nerves, she might not have been able to. In her shoes, the situation is definitely a little more of a "step out" due to the fact that she has no ties to that side of her family. The potential of meeting you probably sent her mind in quite a whirl. She shouldn't have handled it the way she did, but it sounds like you've even been willing to empathize with her and show understanding.
Like you said, now you know, but really this could re-open at a later time. All you know is that you handled this in a way you can be proud of, and I'm sure both of your parents are proud of your maturity as well.
Stay well fam,
1
Be proud of yourself for handling this entire situation like the biggest man humanly possible.
-You made an effort from the heart to do what you thought was right.
-You went above and beyond, making the drive, buying presents, and trying to work through her nervousness/hesitance.
-You stayed classy about the whole thing til the end.
Family is an interesting thing, and obviously it can throw you in a lot of situations that you didn't create. Who knows what has been going through your sister's head for all her life, and although you were able to fight through your nerves, she might not have been able to. In her shoes, the situation is definitely a little more of a "step out" due to the fact that she has no ties to that side of her family. The potential of meeting you probably sent her mind in quite a whirl. She shouldn't have handled it the way she did, but it sounds like you've even been willing to empathize with her and show understanding.
Like you said, now you know, but really this could re-open at a later time. All you know is that you handled this in a way you can be proud of, and I'm sure both of your parents are proud of your maturity as well.
Stay well fam,
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My Facebook Bio epitomize your actions in handling your situation, fam:
-First and foremost: Family.
-Let bygones be bygones.
-Keep it real.
When it comes to family, you're willing to do anything for them. But at the same time, you gotta be realistic about the situation and know when to let things go. Hence, letting bygones be bygones and living life with a happy, pure, hate-free heart. You reached out to family, outside of your comfort zone, and at your own expense, and got the favor returned by being ignored and unwelcomed. You kept it cool the whole time, being the bigger person. I commend you for it.
Stay up, bro.
-First and foremost: Family.
-Let bygones be bygones.
-Keep it real.
When it comes to family, you're willing to do anything for them. But at the same time, you gotta be realistic about the situation and know when to let things go. Hence, letting bygones be bygones and living life with a happy, pure, hate-free heart. You reached out to family, outside of your comfort zone, and at your own expense, and got the favor returned by being ignored and unwelcomed. You kept it cool the whole time, being the bigger person. I commend you for it.
Stay up, bro.
Moheezy
formerly mizzoe33
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^ 
Yeah I mean things didn't turn out the way I expected but I'm honestly not hurt as more annoyed and angry she tried to do me super dirty.
Well see how things turn out
And thanks for all the kind words #NT a lot of good advice and comments in here. Y'all are family to me
Yeah I mean things didn't turn out the way I expected but I'm honestly not hurt as more annoyed and angry she tried to do me super dirty.
Well see how things turn out
And thanks for all the kind words #NT a lot of good advice and comments in here. Y'all are family to me
