Official NT dad thread: can the dads get love

[stuntman mike]

my mom told me that one of the best things you can learn is the reply "because i said so".
"pick up your toys"
"why?"
"because i said so"

that was probably the worst piece of parenting advice my mom ever gave me we have spent/spend so much damn time explaining stuff to my kid, reasoning, dialogue, even from a very young age, but it seems to work out really well. we want our son to develop internal motivators for positive behaviors rather than live under the threat of external pressures to act right. i still yell at him on the rare occasion but so far, we have never gotten physical with him. yet. that being said, i have no qualms with parents who hit their kids. zero judgement. everyone does what works for them. there are tons of times where i wanted to slap the crap outta my son and i understand why some hit their kids.

on a side note: one of the biggest challenges i've been going through as a parent right now is the process of enrolling him in kindergarten. we've tested him for 5 or 6 private schools here. i think we've done a good job of not putting unrealistic expectations and pressures on him. i truly believe that finding a school that fits our kid is way more important than the prestige of getting him into the school with the best name but i'm also afraid that i'll feel like a failure if he doesn't get accepted to a good one and i'll also feel like a failure if he does get accepted and i'll have to struggle coming up with the tuition money that i can't really afford

 

[Grine]

.

on a side note: one of the biggest challenges i've been going through as a parent right now is the process of enrolling him in kindergarten. we've tested him for 5 or 6 private schools here. i think we've done a good job of not putting unrealistic expectations and pressures on him. i truly believe that finding a school that fits our kid is way more important than the prestige of getting him into the school with the best name but i'm also afraid that i'll feel like a failure if he doesn't get accepted to a good one and i'll also feel like a failure if he does get accepted and i'll have to struggle coming up with the tuition money that i can't really afford

Now this is where I am facing my challenges,also. My daughter expressed to me that she feels she's under a lot or pressure being in a top private school and as a parent, I am demanding of excellence. Being that I'm paying almost college tuition for the school, the least I can expect are A's.

However, at times she gets lazy and starts to slack off with B's. I've expressed to her that she will have to start tutoring. Of course, she felt it was not necessary.

I've tried to reason with her on understanding the importance of excelling but I had to approach it a different way. "Princess, you're brilliant. However, sometimes you feel that you don't need to study and/or that you know the material. Sometimes you may need help and just doesn't recognize it. You can't allow stubbornness to overshadow the bigger picture. As your father, I am going to always encourage you to excel and I have to do everything I can to help you reach your full potential. Even at my age, a little encouragement and help is needed."

So now, I've hired a tutor to perhaps give her a different direction in her course work. So far, it been working and I've been seeing a huge improvement in her self-esteem and grades. She's back to making A's in her math course. The tutor took the time to teach her how to study. However, I think I'm going to keep her on-board for as long as I can.

Sometimes, as parents we have to find a different avenue to get our point across. Instead of beating them up about academics, help them understand that if WE (parents and child) have given everything we can to help the grades, then that's all you can ask for.

 

[stuntman mike]

my niece went to one of the top private schools here from kindergarten. my father and her dad (my brother) graduated from that school along with some cousins so it’s a family tradition. in the 8th grade she started having all kinds of stress-related problems and she complained that the school was too demanding. a bunch of us just basically told her she was being a lazy baby and to suck it up. eventually she transferred to another school that was smaller but still good. she’s thriving now and in her senior year. she’s been accepted into some great colleges and had really good SAT scores. after seeing that, i better understand the concept of matching the kid to the school with the learning style that best suits them.

 

[javyLSU]

Still trying to comprehend the entire concept of "testing" a child for acceptance into Kindergarten...

 

[stuntman mike]

Still trying to comprehend the entire concept of "testing" a child for acceptance into Kindergarten...

dude.....it's fricken insane. competition is so fierce here for the top schools and there are tutoring/prep centers here that specialize in getting your kid ready - they get intel on each school's testing process and structure curriculum to help kids score high. problems is that the more kids that go to these prep sessions, the higher the bar keeps getting raised. my son was going to one for a little while but we eventually had him stop going even though he was doing well. they wanted him to be able to count by 3s, 5s, 7s, and 10s. they had him doing some pretty complex word problems. their practice tests were pretty crazy especially for a 4 year old. my boy can read super good, can write ok and is learning to spell, can add pretty good and behaves really good for the most part. that's plenty enough for me. he still has to have time to be a kid. i want my boy being curious, play with his cars, go outside and get dirty, play barefoot in the river catching crayfish, ride bike etc. that's more important that memorizing stuff.

 

[food4thgt]

Grine I definitely agree with It all , sounds like a very practical and free flowing way to raise a kid. I was raised very close to these principles and I intend to do the same with my son.

 

[a55a5in11]

I can't imagine forcing a 3 and 4 year old to give up being a kid so they can study for kindergarten admissions.
I feel like most parents do it for selfish reasons anyways.

 

[stuntman mike]

I feel like most parents do it for selfish reasons anyways.

there was a time when i would have disagreed and said that all parents do that stuff just to help their kids be successful. after having our own kid and being around many more parents, i agree that there are some that only want bragging rights

 

[a55a5in11]

there was a time when i would have disagreed and said that all parents do that stuff just to help their kids be successful. after having our own kid and being around many more parents, i agree that there are some that only want bragging rights

Yup. After I had my daughter I noticed a lot of times people ask how she is, it's just so they can tell me how their kid is better in a slick way

 

[crumps brother]

My wife scheduled her induction at her appointment this morning

Friday be t hopefully this kid comes earlier

 

[lpheat22]

Shaved my beard today. Have a job interview Thursday. First time I’ve seen my bare face in about 7 years. I get this and this definitely improves my fiancé and daughter’s life.

 

[crumps brother]

Finally, today is the day

We’re not there yet

Though late the silver lining is its happening after a paid holiday so that’s just an extra day off I have on top of my parental time off

 

[crumps brother]

Sullivan Kenneth Brown

Born 7:04 ET

Weighing 8 lb 13.6 oz

Cats In The Craddle started playing on the radio when I started creating this post

 

[souljaman22]

Congratulations!

 

[Grine]

Congrats!

 

[grimeyy]

crumps brother Congrats

 

[dakid23]

Congrats bro!

 

[NCtwin]

Congrats homie!!

 

[pip777]

Congrats

 

[lpheat22]

Congrats brotha.

I’m jealous of the new parents now, you guys get more time off with your kids. I only used the 3 weeks of my 6 weeks when my daughter was born. I was gonna use the final 3 for Christmas and New Years but got a new job and couldn’t use them. Now you guys get more pay when you’re off. Not bad at all.

 

[ii flash ii]

Working 2 days a week(full time), get the other days with my daughter... Can’t beat that

 

[Los Angeles]

Damn im hoping our union approves us for 3 on 4 off

 

[lpheat22]

With this new gig I’d be working 13 days a month

 

[jumpmanpro97]

Yup. After I had my daughter I noticed a lot of times people ask how she is, it's just so they can tell me how their kid is better in a slick way

One my good friends from h.s. I asked her husband how their son was doing in school and he busted out with yea their doing advanced stuff at his school he’s reading at a 6th grade level (the kid was in 1st grade at the time) they pay for some fancy/pricy private school. I told me wife this and she was like there’s no way he’s at that grade level in reading he couldn’t even read certain words in a comic book our son was showing him! She’s was irritated by it

Any kumon parents in here?

My son is about to finish 2nd grade this spring and he’s reading at a 4th grade level right now (not bragging) my former boss was a kumon kid and she told me if they start the math program by 3rd grade they’ll be ahead of their class when it comes to math.

 

[jumpmanpro97]

Congrats fellas, no sleep gang is real.

It’s crazy looking back at pics on my phone. My daughter has grown like crazy in just 20 months. Time really does fly.

Anyone deal with their kid barley eating all day but at bed time being really hungry?

Lol #teamnosleep for 2 years can’t believe how my wife and I lived that zombie life back then I don’t miss it at all I do miss that baby smell now my kid has that sweaty been playing in the school yard smell time flies he turns 8 in 1 month!