Official NT dad thread: can the dads get love

[dontsteponmyshoes]

I have no advice for you bruh I wish I knew. After 17 years I'm JUST now stepping back out there, and only because my daughter told me I needed to get a life.

It was bad because I didn't have balance whatsoever. I avoided relationships, friendships, hobbies, personal material wants ECT ECT all because I had this idea that I didn't want any of that to affect my time or bond with my daughter. In all actuality I was just really sad and had a hard time coping with not being the prototypical "full time dad" image that I had in my mind of what a father was supposed to be because I never had one and I wanted to make sure she knew I was there.

Schedule wise or whatever it didn't feel like I was there enough (in my mind)but I didn't want to fight. Regardless of how often I kept her though she was my entire life. Every event, award ceremony, gymnastics, soccer, T-ball, father daughter events, every single day a phone call what ever it was/is I'm there ALWAYS.

Then I just started using it as an excuse because I got comfortable being alone and or just not doing any of the the stuff I considered fun or part of my life before I became a parent. Now 17 years later all my dudes are married and moved away and I'm like Encino man dusting off all my early 2000s gear and stepping back into the outside world trying to find my old *** washed self

 

[DCAllAfrican]

A father doing his job.

Thread

 

[darthska]

I have no advice for you bruh I wish I knew. After 17 years I'm JUST now stepping back out there, and only because my daughter told me I needed to get a life.

It was bad because I didn't have balance whatsoever. I avoided relationships, friendships, hobbies, personal material wants ECT ECT all because I had this idea that I didn't want any of that to affect my time or bond with my daughter. In all actuality I was just really sad and had a hard time coping with not being the prototypical "full time dad" image that I had in my mind of what a father was supposed to be because I never had one and I wanted to make sure she knew I was there.

Schedule wise or whatever it didn't feel like I was there enough (in my mind)but I didn't want to fight. Regardless of how often I kept her though she was my entire life. Every event, award ceremony, gymnastics, soccer, T-ball, father daughter events, every single day a phone call what ever it was/is I'm there ALWAYS.

Then I just started using it as an excuse because I got comfortable being alone and or just not doing any of the the stuff I considered fun or part of my life before I became a parent. Now 17 years later all my dudes are married and moved away and I'm like Encino man dusting off all my early 2000s gear and stepping back into the outside world trying to find my old *** washed self

And I'm sure people have told you along the way, "Dude, you're a good dad, but you're allowed to do things for yourself."
Good on you for making that bond with your girl the most important thing you've got... or even the only thing at times.
One father to another, I appreciate you.
Setting that foundation makes it so that she won't be in her 30s feeling clueless & alone, lashing out at people because she's bitter from having no support.
Never that, not with the Dad she's got.
#lovetoseeit

 

[dontsteponmyshoes]

And I'm sure people have told you along the way, "Dude, you're a good dad, but you're allowed to do things for yourself."
Good on you for making that bond with your girl the most important thing you've got... or even the only thing at times.
One father to another, I appreciate you.
Setting that foundation makes it so that she won't be in her 30s feeling clueless & alone, lashing out at people because she's bitter from having no support.
Never that, not with the Dad she's got.
#lovetoseeit

Thanks bruh that means a lot

 

[mplsdunk]

I gotta tell myself it’s fine to do my own thing too sometimes.

Like right now she’s got a friend over I could be running errands and getting that out of the way, fishing or whatever because she’s perfectly fine kicking it with her friend and taking selfies with the cat.

 

[datznasty]

Yes.
I've been on both sides of those calls (meaning that I've made them on extremely disturbing details from kiddo clients I've had, and I've also had to cooperate with CPS/DCFS).
I can assure you: if you have nothing to worry about, you have nothing to worry about.

yep. they get on your case and be overbearing for a while, then realize they are wasting time and barking up the wrong tree and it's kids out there who are actually being abused or whatever they should tend to rather than trying to nitpick over interviewing a toddler or things out of place in the home.

Our's started because my bm#2 and scheduling for the pediatrician, 2 hardheaded *** black women, kind of had beef and she literally told us, "ok, fail to reschedule an appointment again, it's gonna be something," basically, and to her defense she is right bm#2 kept rescheduling routine appointments, but the scheduler told CPS that m daughter was literally dying and would die in days so all of a suddens they sent an agent out to the house then made her follow us to the appointment, the agent told the DR about how baby#2 was about to die if not for the CPS/DHS intervention, DR was like wtf no she isn't. And for the most part that was that, they made us register in some parenting classes (both have prior kids btw) which were virtual and sign up for some services which we pretty much ****ed off and they disappeared

 

[jkballer5]

Late, but hope all the Dads here had a great Father's Day! I was blessed to have my very first one as my little one was born in April. Dad life has had its extremely challenging moments already, but extremely rewarding!