Official NT dad thread: can the dads get love

[wayniac211]

I'm wondering how you all feel about the quality of education in your child(ren)s schools and surrounding areas? Do you feel that there needs to be improvement in the education system in this country as a whole or just changes within your current location?

They need to implement a money management course early in the school system. I teach my kiddos to save and all that but it's hard going against the media. It was nice to see my eldest learn about different religions including Buddhism, Islam..etc for her history/social sci flash cards. They def did not teach that back in my days smh

 

[dathbgboy]

Quality of education is definitely going downhill and there are a lot of different factors as to why. Standardized testing seems to be at the base. With schools receiving funding based on test performance, it hinders the schools that need the funding. That and a complete mismanagement of finances in the districts don't help either.

wayniac211 to be honest, I think it's designed to keep the masses ignorant financially and those who want the knowledge or want to instill it into their children to seek it out. I find it extremely baffling that w/ money and technology at the forefront of our society, it's not being taught in school in a more in depth manner. We're a capitalistic society and majority of us don't know how money works, where it comes from, etc.

 

[solewoman]

Just dropping by to say that I love this thread.

 

[stuntman mike]

there's so much to say on this subject but i'll try and keep my rants/fears brief.

my son is almost 3 and he's been in daycare/school since 3 months old. from 3 months old to a few weeks ago, the center he was in cost us about 20k/year. that's the going rate for the good private schools here also. with what i make, it's doable but it puts a strain on us when you factor in our mortgage and other bills. plus my wife stepped down to part-time work to focus on school and getting into a good masters program. the sheer expense of the education is daunting. the thought of paying 20k+/year for k-12 is a tough pill to swallow let alone the price of college (which we are already saving for).

public schools in my district are horrible. i refuse to send him to a public school here. i'd rather my wife quit working and home school. more likely we'd move to an area with better public schools. making that move would cost plenty of money though and we'd have to drive in some horrible traffic each day.

public vs private schools isn't the biggest issue though. out of all my family and cousins, the only 3 that got perfect SAT scores went to public school and all the rest of us went to private schools while i want my son to do well academically, i moreso want him to be well-adjusted, kind, moral and know that he's loved. he's a really smart kid already though and speaks in long sentences and understands humorous concepts really well. i just want to help him reach his potential and be happy in life.

 

[Sir San Diego]

I'll keep it short.

1. The school system is successful in doing what it was designed to do: create obedient workers/consumers that move when a bell rings, don't question only memorize/test/forget/repeat and fit into stereotypes carved out for them before they step foot on the yard. If they choose the non-conformist's path, theres a slim chance of making it and good odds that they'll end up in the other school (for criminals) the penal system.

2. They don't want thinkers, organizers or entrepreneurs to come out of schools. They want workers. Kids that don't fit the stereotypes are ostracized.

3. There are SOME decent public schools out there, but they're in neighborhoods where your tax dollars aren't (directly) being spent. There's plenty of studies on this. Oprah dedicated a whole show to it years ago.

 

[Case]

My 7 yr old Cooper at Wright State University's Trick or Treat night in the basketball arena..

Notice how the Concords match the Ninja suit perfectly..

View media item 1766405

 

[dathbgboy]

there's so much to say on this subject but i'll try and keep my rants/fears brief.

my son is almost 3 and he's been in daycare/school since 3 months old. from 3 months old to a few weeks ago, the center he was in cost us about 20k/year. that's the going rate for the good private schools here also. with what i make, it's doable but it puts a strain on us when you factor in our mortgage and other bills. plus my wife stepped down to part-time work to focus on school and getting into a good masters program. the sheer expense of the education is daunting. the thought of paying 20k+/year for k-12 is a tough pill to swallow let alone the price of college (which we are already saving for).

public schools in my district are horrible. i refuse to send him to a public school here. i'd rather my wife quit working and home school. more likely we'd move to an area with better public schools. making that move would cost plenty of money though and we'd have to drive in some horrible traffic each day.

public vs private schools isn't the biggest issue though. out of all my family and cousins, the only 3 that got perfect SAT scores went to public school and all the rest of us went to private schools while i want my son to do well academically, i moreso want him to be well-adjusted, kind, moral and know that he's loved. he's a really smart kid already though and speaks in long sentences and understands humorous concepts really well. i just want to help him reach his potential and be happy in life.

The fact that you have to consider paying for a quality education for your child in a K-12 setting is upsetting considering the country we live in. I've been considering it myself but it would eat into financial aid for college

We supplement what her school doesn't teach her so that she can learn more and not get used to being mediocre

I'll keep it short.

1. The school system is successful in doing what it was designed to do: create obedient workers/consumers that move when a bell rings, don't question only memorize/test/forget/repeat and fit into stereotypes carved out for them before they step foot on the yard. If they choose the non-conformist's path, theres a slim chance of making it and good odds that they'll end up in the other school (for criminals) the penal system.

2. They don't want thinkers, organizers or entrepreneurs to come out of schools. They want workers. Kids that don't fit the stereotypes are ostracized.

3. There are SOME decent public schools out there, but they're in neighborhoods where your tax dollars aren't (directly) being spent. There's plenty of studies on this. Oprah dedicated a whole show to it years ago.

BINGO, and it's discouraging when only a small group of notice that and u can't tell people anything because they think you're crazy.

 

[datznasty]

Any of you paying child support, even with custody? My baby mom's, even though she and baby will be living with me, not working, and I pay for everything, wants to put me on Child Support because she says it means they will give baby free health insurance and day care (which I think is true, and would be a HUGE financial burden off me), but doesn't that also give her ALL the power with regards to decisions made where hypothetically she could say just up and move to Timbuktu and I can't say anything? I know she's going to put me on the B.C, that's not an issue. But what do we, and most importantly, I, need to do to establish joint custody or whatever unwed but living together doing it "together" is considered as.

By the way, she is due anyday now. Nov 16 was the official due date but if she isn't out by the 6th, they are going to go in and get her.

 

[Sir San Diego]

Any of you paying child support, even with custody? My baby mom's, even though she and baby will be living with me, not working, and I pay for everything, wants to put me on Child Support because she says it means they will give baby free health insurance and day care (which I think is true, and would be a HUGE financial burden off me), but doesn't that also give her ALL the power with regards to decisions made where hypothetically she could say just up and move to Timbuktu and I can't say anything? I know she's going to put me on the B.C, that's not an issue. But what do we, and most importantly, I, need to do to establish joint custody or whatever unwed but living together doing it "together" is considered as.

By the way, she is due anyday now. Nov 16 was the official due date but if she isn't out by the 6th, they are going to go in and get her.

Sounds like the okie doke pleighboi...

So she wants to get on welfare basically, get you on paper and then live under your roof to freeload?

Bruh...

 

[Case]

Any of you paying child support, even with custody? My baby mom's, even though she and baby will be living with me, not working, and I pay for everything, wants to put me on Child Support because she says it means they will give baby free health insurance and day care (which I think is true, and would be a HUGE financial burden off me), but doesn't that also give her ALL the power with regards to decisions made where hypothetically she could say just up and move to Timbuktu and I can't say anything? I know she's going to put me on the B.C, that's not an issue. But what do we, and most importantly, I, need to do to establish joint custody or whatever unwed but living together doing it "together" is considered as.

By the way, she is due anyday now. Nov 16 was the official due date but if she isn't out by the 6th, they are going to go in and get her.

She can get welfare whether she's living with you or not based on you guys' income..But go ahead and let her put your name on the BC and let her file for child support..But you also need to go to a lawyer and have a custody agreement drawn up that way your rights as a father are protected..If she's going to try and get welfare then she'll have to put where she lives..And if she puts that she lives with you then it'll be based of your income whether she'll get help and have nothing to do with paying child support..But don't let her file child support on you and also lie to welfare about whether she lives with you cause if y'all get caught cause she's trying to pull some b.s. then you'll be hatin' life..

 

[datznasty]

She's getting WIC and food stamps already (think her food stamps are going to run out soon too, they cut her down to $30 a month) and some sort of unemployment now although that should run out now and it's not a livable amount of money anyways, was like 6k over the last 12 months pretax. She'll just continue put her mom's address on everything, don't think her mom makes much more than 30k if that, but I assume they'll just look at her own tax returns and see she hasn't made any money in the last few yrs so she is going to be well below every threshhold line for assistance as long as it's just figuring her income and not us together because even as household I'd put us well over.

I mean, she tells me, "I'll just give it right back to you," again stressing it's about the insurance/day care for baby being free, but I need to verify the rest of how everything works around that. Her account stays overdrafted so if they direct deposit it to her, whatever it takes to bring it to $0 would be automatically gone anyways, then I end up I can't pay my/our bills because my checks are direct deposit and withdrawal for the bills but the money obviously be tied up in CSUP

Oh, is that like welfare fraud? And would get both of us in trouble? Well **** that. I got a "Government job" (not directly but kind of), can't afford anything that would affect my clearance status

 

[GTA 809]

Why don't you marry her?

 

[datznasty]

 

[Sir San Diego]

Dawg...

You're tripping hard homie!

Do not sign up for that life. And you have a government job? Catch that fraud case and you can kiss that goodbye.

 

[Case]

My wife used to work in the welfare office for our county working in the call center and I can tell you just from her stories that you don't want to take a chance on anything being sketchy about your case..She's told me some stories about how they go after people accused of welfare fraud and once they start they don't stop until you're either busted or they're 1000% convinced you're on the up and up..That's one rabbit hole you don't wanna go down..

Like I said, don't let her pull that crap on you..Get a lawyer and file for joint physical custody and for child support ASAP..Cause you definitely don't want to be giving her cash or let her talk you into the old "we live together so don't worry about it" cause as soon as y'all break up, she'll be going straight to child support and telling them how you ain't never given her nothing and how she's struggling..You won't have no proof of payment and then they got your ***..You'll owe her all that back support and they can take your license, take your income tax return, make you pay court costs, and possibly put you in jail..

 

[andretti]

Why don't you marry her?

 

[dathbgboy]

I'll reply in the morning when I'm more coherent I like to give sound advice in situations like that

 

[a55a5in11]

Get a paternity test homie and talk to a lawyer

 

[$tacy]

I'm not gonna sit here and tell u it won't work because I have many relatives and people I know doing it. When I first got my girl pregnant she had just turned 19 and was working at KFC. Didn't have **** to her name and was sharing a apartment with her sister (who didn't pay her half of anything). They had a real rough life and she always wanted to do better but she just needed a support system (mom's kinda like your girls mom and pops doing life). Got that eviction notice and was pregnant so she came and stayed with me and my pops. When my son was first born I didn't sign his birth certificate cuz I knew she was gonna need all this assistance and I wasn't getting my little checks at the time raped. She still put she stayed with her mom and everything and it was cool. 2015 my whole fam backs her and she took on our attitude and I'm proud cuz girl came along way. No type of welfare I'm the last 3 years. Hopefully yo girl wanna do better, I remember u in the pof thread saying u found the one b.

 

[dathbgboy]

Any of you paying child support, even with custody? My baby mom's, even though she and baby will be living with me, not working, and I pay for everything, wants to put me on Child Support because she says it means they will give baby free health insurance and day care (which I think is true, and would be a HUGE financial burden off me), but doesn't that also give her ALL the power with regards to decisions made where hypothetically she could say just up and move to Timbuktu and I can't say anything? I know she's going to put me on the B.C, that's not an issue. But what do we, and most importantly, I, need to do to establish joint custody or whatever unwed but living together doing it "together" is considered as.

By the way, she is due anyday now. Nov 16 was the official due date but if she isn't out by the 6th, they are going to go in and get her.

DO NOT willingly allow yourself to put on child support, that's asking for a world of stress because as u said it, it gives her all of the power. Now as far as the health insurance and daycare, she could get CCIS by stating that she is in between homes, etc etc. Putting your name on the birth certificate binds you to your child (which isn't necessarily a bad thing) and when it comes to things like cash assistance, if she takes it, they'll come after you. Now w/ her already figuring out ways to scheme and game the system, I'd be weary of what situation you put yourself it.

Now I don't know you or your child's mother (baby moms, bm, etc. sounds so ignorant and stereotypical) and I'm not saying that she could be a good or bad person, however, I would not tap dance on a slippery slope in order to avoid paying daycare and healthcare. There are things like CHIP for healthcare for the child and as I mentioned earlier CCIS for childcare.

 

[Fozz]

My cousin and my brother-in-law have to pay child support. It's pretty ridiculous to see what he and their baby mamas have to fight for.

My cousin's baby mama hasn't had a job in over five years, leached off my aunt and uncle, then decided to bounce with their kid to Vegas to live with her brother with no warning.

Terrible.

 

[squatchnt]

Child support would be great if the court system could differentiate between a deadbeat dad and a dad. Once you're in the system you're treated as a deadbeat no matter , even if the mom is trife. The day I got off child support the judge sneered at me and asked, "why do you think you shouldn't have to pay child support?" When I answered "because they live with me." He just looked down at his desk and started shuffling papers....

 

[wayniac211]

My bro in law has a mediation coming up with his soon to be ex. She asking for full custody of the 3 and full child support. He's a good dude but made some bad decisions (just served 7 yrs in susanville). The kids love & miss him dearly but that woman is trifling and ignorant. Because he has an F on his record, do u think he has any chance of overturning this case??

 

[Fozz]

Did any of you guys feel anxious when your partner hit 37 weeks? I'm starting to feel that way, knowing that the labor process can begin at any moment

 

[dathbgboy]

My bro in law has a mediation coming up with his soon to be ex. She asking for full custody of the 3 and full child support. He's a good dude but made some bad decisions (just served 7 yrs in susanville). The kids love & miss him dearly but that woman is trifling and ignorant. Because he has an F on his record, do u think he has any chance of overturning this case??

Not unless he has a good lawyer or good paying job and even then it's going to be tough, especially when u consider what the felony was for.