PYJ (Post Your Jokes)

Originally Posted by DaCitySlanga

Originally Posted by Stay Lurkin

Originally Posted by gHeTtOnOyPi

Originally Posted by GSDOUBLEU

knock knock

Spoiler [+]
Click to expand...
This one got me,
laugh.gif
Click to expand...


roll.gif
Click to expand...

Mannnnn this one took me forever, I was thinking my laptop mousepad was broken
roll.gif
roll.gif








Two Dyslexics sitting in a tree












K-S-I-S-N-I-G
Click to expand...
roll.gif
roll.gif
 
So I go to the doctor and she tells me I need to stop jacking off.
I ask her "why?"
She says "because I'm standing right in front of you".
 
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common?






Spoiler [+]
They both come on small white crackers.
 
Originally Posted by ChiefWiggum

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common?






Spoiler [+]
They both come on small white crackers.
Click to expand...

laugh.gif
 
(Works only when told out loud) - Go to work tomorrow and tell someone, "Hey I have to leave right around lunch time because I have a dentist appointment".... when they say "what time is your dentist appointment?", look at them, point at your mouth and say, "tooth hurty"....
 
I was watching "The Roast of Joan Rivers" hours ago...some quotables from Eonline:


The evening's emcee Kathy Griffin provided one of many jokes about Rivers sharing the same dermatologist with Michael Jackson. "Unfortunately," Griffin said to Rivers, who sat in a chair in the center of the stage, "he only killed your face."

Comedian Greg Giraldo quipped about Rivers going under the knife, "You used to look your age, but now you don't even look like your species."
sick.gif
laugh.gif


Former Everybody Loves Raymond star Brad Garrett added, "Your face has been lifted more times than Bristol Palin's prom dress."
laugh.gif


Tom Arnold cracked on Rivers' late husband, who took his own life 22 years ago. "Joan can be a bit of a perfectionist," Arnold said. "When she read her husband's suicide note, she sent it back for a rewrite."

He continued, "Say what you want about Joan Rivers, but she's an icon and a real diva, which by the way is what they call a c--t when she's still sitting in the room."

Even buttoned-up Donald Trump got in on the raunchy. In a videotaped message, the Apprentice boss said he was happy to announce his most ambitious project: "The Joan Rivers Facial and Body Renovation."

"I promise you that no expense will be spared in your reconstruction," The Donald said. "We'll tent you, fumigate you and, if necessary, send in a Hazmat team to remove all the hazardous material in that toxic pool you call...a vagina!"
roll.gif



And get this—Rivers' own daughter, Melissa, took some shots at her. The younger Rivers recalled asking her mother about sex: "I remember so clearly that when I asked her what's a blowjob that she said without hesitation, '50 bucks, two dinners and a watch.' "

Don't worry, Joanie had her say when she stepped up to the podium. One example? She said roaster Gilbert Gottfried made her so ashamed to be Jewish that was "going to go to Malibu and give Mel Gibson a blowjob!"
and the best one from the GOAT:

Funnyman and former Dancing With the Stars contestant Jeffrey Ross targeted Rivers' age. "If you Google her," he said of the 76-year-old comedienne, " you can find her on Craigs and Schindler's List."

eek.gif
laugh.gif
smh.gif



its a funny roast. DL it. they went at Robin Quivers too saying that "Robin is too ugly that while her dad was putting it in her poon, he was thinking of his other daughter and not Robin"
roll.gif

*or something to that effect
Click to expand...
 
how do you kill a jew?
[+]
Throw a penny off a cliff

how come black guys dont drive convertibles?
[+]
Because they’re lips would wave on the wind and stick on their faces.

What’s a man between two blondes?
 A performer...
 But a blond between two mans?
 A mental blockade...
 
man racist jokes are the best, even if its about ur own race 
laugh.gif

why do jews have big noses? 
Spoiler [+]
b/c the air is free
 

what do u call a black woman that has an abortion?

Spoiler [+]
a crime fighter
 

how many russian people does it take to change a lighbulb?

Spoiler [+]
three....one to hold the bulb and two to drink until the room spins
 

how many polish people does it take to change a lightbulb? 

Spoiler [+]
301....one to hold the bulb and 300 to turn the house
 

how many women-rights activists does it take to change the lightbulb? 

Spoiler [+]
none, they cant change anything
 
 
A lot of Black, Mexican, and Jewish jokes in here. Let me even this out.

How many white girls does it take to screw in a light?
Spoiler [+]
None, white girls can’t screw
   

What did a white guy see when he looked at his family tree?
Spoiler [+]
A straight line!

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
Spoiler [+]
The NBA

What does a white woman make for dinner?
Spoiler [+]
Reservations

What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
Spoiler [+]
The PGA Tour

What do you call a White man with a sheep under each arm?
Spoiler [+]
A Pimp

What do you call a white chick shaking her butt?
Spoiler [+]
An ironing board with massage features

Why do white people like to have sex in front of the mirror?
Spoiler [+]
Objects may appear larger than actual size

Why cant white men jump?
Spoiler [+]
They were too busy making racist jokes
grin.gif
 
 
^ i mean those were funny but c'mon yall really taking offense like that that you want to "get even"

ruining the thread if you can't take a joke.

I dont mind any of the jokes it was just your motive for doing them.


... im black if it matters
 
Originally Posted by frostythepoptart

^ i mean those were funny but c'mon yall really taking offense like that that you want to "get even"

ruining the thread if you can't take a joke.

I dont mind any of the jokes it was just your motive for doing them.


... im black if it matters
Click to expand...
No it doesnt matter and no, im not being sensetive. Jokes are jokes.

  
 
What can a pizza do the a black man can't?

Spoiler [+]
feed a family
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

MakeNTGreatAgain
whats a worse feeling, vol. case of the mondays
Replies
24
Views
907
MakeNTGreatAgain
MakeNTGreatAgain
tr1ll
I propose a new SPOILER rule for media in NT's Terms and Rules.
Replies
22
Views
1K
maldonado
maldonado
MakeNTGreatAgain
best way to collect payment for your small business vol. cashdays are over
Replies
4
Views
584
MetalMario
MetalMario
fdub
What’s everyone’s thoughts on Stand Your Ground Statue?
2
Replies
29
Views
2K
fdub
fdub
you go boy
Need your Prayers for my Dad
3 4 5
Replies
100
Views
8K
ajiiiplatinum
ajiiiplatinum

The ultimate sneaker enthusiast community.

NikeTalk was created as a way of giving back to both the sneaker enthusiast community and to the greater global community of which we are all a part.

NikeTalk is NOT affiliated with Nike Inc. in any way, shape, or form. All opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of Nike, Inc.

© 1999-2024 NikeTalk.com

Share this page

Back
Top Bottom