TAY: IT'S A MAN THING GINA

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Just made the decision and stuck to it. No false hope masked by a false sense of being over it. I really wanted to be over it and move on.

"Getting over getting over her " was tiresome and felt like wasting time. I'm trying to stake my claim of this world, I cant be wasting time on that.
 
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:pimp:

Y'all be spittin' the truth round here, esp ecook/mark etc. Hopefully all plays out well this upcoming weekend or else I'll be here wondering what the hell happened :lol: :smh:
 
Ecook0808 said:
I think ur handling it pretty well.

It's tough, but try not to think about all the good times you had/ stuff you had planned/ future with her etc...

Also don't think about how you screwed up and the "what ifs". That's been the worst part for me.
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For me the thing that bugs me most is that I thought very highly of myself and my character and moral standing before this all. I broke promises and my word to her so many times. I really question if I'm even a good person anymore, or if at heart I'm a selfish narcissist. I question if my word to someone means anything.

Hearing her tell me that I'm the Khal (King) of Her Heart, and she's giving me it, even though she's scared I might break it, and I promised her she can trust me with it again and again, but I broke it time and time again....it hurts me knowing I hurt someone that wanted me to be her everything so many times. I took her love for granted because it came so quick and easily instead of recognizing that it might mean that it's more special.

I know love is not "on paper," but it irks me because "on paper" she should be right for me. But a combination of things including my lack of security within myself prevented me from being able to truly see how far our relationship can go.
 
Flyeed said:
For me the thing that bugs me most is that I thought very highly of myself and my character and moral standing before this all. I broke promises and my word to her so many times. I really question if I'm even a good person anymore, or if at heart I'm a selfish narcissist. I question if my word to someone means anything.

Hearing her tell me that I'm the Khal (King) of Her Heart, and she's giving me it, even though she's scared I might break it, and I promised her she can trust me with it again and again, but I broke it time and time again....it hurts me knowing I hurt someone that wanted me to be her everything so many times. I took her love for granted because it came so quick and easily instead of recognizing that it might mean that it's more special.

I know love is not "on paper," but it irks me because "on paper" she should be right for me. But a combination of things including my lack of security within myself prevented me from being able to truly see how far our relationship can go.
Click to expand...
She will come back around. Work on yourself in the meantime.
 
Caught up with thread while Wifey is sleep in hospital.
D-Day is upon us[emoji]128516[/emoji]
Many people go into relationships with grandiose expectations and not slowing down to actually building framework for their house.
I don't care how loving, nurturing, etc your are or what the other person exhibits but you have to understand we are all flawed and we are going to hurt each other.
Hurt can measured on scales but if you don't talk about your issues or even deal with your demons before committing to someone that is a huge red flag about the longevity of ones love life.Also people have to understand that being in a healthy, intimate relationship is a second job. But instead of monetary value, you are looking out for the well being and psychological currency for both parties. We all **** up but there is a fine line of understanding when to fight or walk away. Once again training your gut and listening to your heart can save you a lot of grief. At one point my wife told me I was her world. I stopped and corrected her:
"I'm not your world but I'm here to love you as long as God allows me to. Things happen and people change, I just want to enjoy this time and live for right now".
I will never take her for granted nor will I ever cheat but I know I have to keep getting better not only as a individual but I also have to learn to trust others. All of that is to say, nobody should ever be your everything( even your child). Whenyou do that, you place an extreme amount of pressure and desires on people that are just as flawed as you. That is plain insanity. This all goes back to slowing down, loving yourself, bettering yourself before committing to a woman(or man). True happiness in a relationship is still embracing that persons individuality and what makes them special. Never let a person place everything on your shoulders like that, instead have a honest discussion about real obtainable achievements and goals you two want to pursue together and apart.
Your not a bad person, just sometimes we find ourselves in situations that were not meant to be forever but more of a stepping stone to deal with what's lacking in ones inner soul.
People are seasons but learn from them and grow.[emoji]9996[/emoji]️
 
Going out for drinks with a girl wensday, and lunch with another friday. You guys know how much i complained about my ex, she went away last week to visit a friend for a month. Told her when shes back i wont be here for her, to move on while she was there. It took me way too long to really cut her out, the feeling that i needed her to be happy, when she was the reason im not, shes been holding me back for years. Hopefully i have a few good stories for you guys.
 
"What's the perfect girl if it's not the perfect time?"

To have that true love and everything, you guys need to be on the same page from day one. Literally everything needs to be aligned I feel now.
 
This thread turning emo. Y'all overcomplicating things. All that spending lavishly on a girl will bite you eventually. Attaching monetary value to a relationship is not a good look especially when the other partner doesn't reciprocate. This leads to resentment and feeling used after a relationship goes sour
 
Another big problem with me is that I valued her based on how much other people did. Knowing that not too long before our relationship, she had sex with a dude and wanted to be serious with him, but he said he wasn't ready so she broke it off made me think well then if she doesn't make someone else want to settle then why should I settle with her. It made me look at her as being worth less. Also, knowing that she was cheated on in another relationship, and then after she broke up with the dude, the guy wound up later marrying the girl he cheated with made me also think well what wasn't good enough about you that made him want to cheat and made him want to marry someone else instead. It made me value her less and to the point where there were times that I looked at me taking her on and possibly marrying her as doing her a favor. Which is extremely wrong.

I need help in approaching this better, whether it's eventually back with her or with someone else.

edit: don't know if it's related but I'm also a very competitive person with a huge ego. and as mentioned in previous posts, have insecurity issues.
 
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"I Feel Blessed"
Big Sean
(This will be long[emoji]128516[/emoji][emoji]128516[/emoji][emoji]128557[/emoji][emoji]128557[/emoji])
Man as I watch my little Ariel MonR oe and her mother,this **** feels so surreal. This was not supposed to happen to me. A little, angry, hard head black boy from Fllmore SF to Southpark/Sounnyside/Club Creek/Spice Lane/Kirkwood/Swat Tx should be locked up for some dumb****. Man if you are reading this from any kind of electrical device, YOU ARE BLESSED. There is no reason to dwell on your faults and mistakes. Trust brethren I have done things I will take to my grave and I ask the Lord for forgiveness every night. But you cant wallow in that forever. Enjoy your life. Get your money, travel, invest in Humantarian acts, create something, just stop feeling bad for yourself. We all have demons but you have to learn how to fight them and turn that energy into positive feelings and actions.
I'm going to talk to the brothas for a minute.
If you made it past 21, you are defying the odds everyday. This created system is to keep us angry, impoverished, scared,etc. Don't waste another minute on the bs, get out there and live. Enjoy this life the best you can,have responsible sex, if you meet a girl that holds you down, take care of her as long as the lord sees fit. Don't be discourage but keep succeeding and be a pillar to our community. Looking at my daughter I have to make sure she has something in the future. I don't want her world to look like what mines did. Even though I learn ALOT of lessons the hard way, listen to your OGS, they will never lie to you. They went through it so you didn't have to.
Women come and go, we get hurt, get angry and never heal. Stop the process with you and enjoy your life before trying to wife somebody. If you don't love yourself or see yourself in a positive light, those same feelings you are dodging inside will manifest in your choice of partner. You don't have to get married, hell you don't even have to be monogamous but stand for something, tell your truth and eventually you will meet a down *** chick(or multiple) that are down for you. Until then get educated, travel, just live baby. This was not supposed to be my path, I was supposed to be a victim, statistic but 2005-2012 changed me. I followed my heart, got rid of the clutter, stop smashing randoms and got me in order. It has taken a looooooooooooooooong time to get here but now that I'm here, there is no better feeling. I never wanted to be married with a kid but as of right now this was the best decision I made since going back to school. I mean she just smiles, barely cries(please god don't do it to me[emoji]128516[/emoji]), my wife was a trooper, my circle is happy and eating, got people who I love with me, **** is great. Even when you think nobody cares(I dealt with low self esteem for a long time), it was somebody always pushing me, checking up on me and guiding me from the darkside. Trust I've had those feelings some of you have but don't give up, seek professional help if need be(I did), tell your people you love them everyday, just get out of your head and live. Don't waste the only asset we really have no control over that means the most which is TIME. Do whatever the **** you want, go snag that chick(hopefully single) throw all dambs to the side and whatever happens, happens. Learn, move on, become wiser, build stamina, become stronger and just love and live. Everybody that reads this is BLESSED, worrying about some female that is probably getting the D right now is a waste of productivity and time. Enjoy/cherish those memories but move on and take care of yourself and your day ones. You never know what the future holds for your ex but at this very moment try your best and just live.
To the OGS, man you guys helped me more then you know. To EWD, if you still lurk, it's all love bro. I truly hope you find those "results" in life[emoji]128516[/emoji]
I'll still be around, lurking, popping up time to time but this little girl is just so damn beautiful.
Got to get on my Daddy grind so she want fall for the future games of your seeds[emoji]128516[/emoji]
[emoji]9996[/emoji]️
 
mugen81 said:
"I Feel Blessed"
Big Sean
(This will be long[emoji]128516[/emoji][emoji]128516[/emoji][emoji]128557[/emoji][emoji]128557[/emoji])
Man as I watch my little Ariel MonR oe and her mother,this **** feels so surreal. This was not supposed to happen to me. A little, angry, hard head black boy from Fllmore SF to Southpark/Sounnyside/Club Creek/Spice Lane/Kirkwood/Swat Tx should be locked up for some dumb****. Man if you are reading this from any kind of electrical device, YOU ARE BLESSED. There is no reason to dwell on your faults and mistakes. Trust brethren I have done things I will take to my grave and I ask the Lord for forgiveness every night. But you cant wallow in that forever. Enjoy your life. Get your money, travel, invest in Humantarian acts, create something, just stop feeling bad for yourself. We all have demons but you have to learn how to fight them and turn that energy into positive feelings and actions.
I'm going to talk to the brothas for a minute.
If you made it past 21, you are defying the odds everyday. This created system is to keep us angry, impoverished, scared,etc. Don't waste another minute on the bs, get out there and live. Enjoy this life the best you can,have responsible sex, if you meet a girl that holds you down, take care of her as long as the lord sees fit. Don't be discourage but keep succeeding and be a pillar to our community. Looking at my daughter I have to make sure she has something in the future. I don't want her world to look like what mines did. Even though I learn ALOT of lessons the hard way, listen to your OGS, they will never lie to you. They went through it so you didn't have to.
Women come and go, we get hurt, get angry and never heal. Stop the process with you and enjoy your life before trying to wife somebody. If you don't love yourself or see yourself in a positive light, those same feelings you are dodging inside will manifest in your choice of partner. You don't have to get married, hell you don't even have to be monogamous but stand for something, tell your truth and eventually you will meet a down *** chick(or multiple) that are down for you. Until then get educated, travel, just live baby. This was not supposed to be my path, I was supposed to be a victim, statistic but 2005-2012 changed me. I followed my heart, got rid of the clutter, stop smashing randoms and got me in order. It has taken a looooooooooooooooong time to get here but now that I'm here, there is no better feeling. I never wanted to be married with a kid but as of right now this was the best decision I made since going back to school. I mean she just smiles, barely cries(please god don't do it to me[emoji]128516[/emoji]), my wife was a trooper, my circle is happy and eating, got people who I love with me, **** is great. Even when you think nobody cares(I dealt with low self esteem for a long time), it was somebody always pushing me, checking up on me and guiding me from the darkside. Trust I've had those feelings some of you have but don't give up, seek professional help if need be(I did), tell your people you love them everyday, just get out of your head and live. Don't waste the only asset we really have no control over that means the most which is TIME. Do whatever the **** you want, go snag that chick(hopefully single) throw all dambs to the side and whatever happens, happens. Learn, move on, become wiser, build stamina, become stronger and just love and live. Everybody that reads this is BLESSED, worrying about some female that is probably getting the D right now is a waste of productivity and time. Enjoy/cherish those memories but move on and take care of yourself and your day ones. You never know what the future holds for your ex but at this very moment try your best and just live.
To the OGS, man you guys helped me more then you know. To EWD, if you still lurk, it's all love bro. I truly hope you find those "results" in life[emoji]128516[/emoji]
I'll still be around, lurking, popping up time to time but this little girl is just so damn beautiful.
Got to get on my Daddy grind so she want fall for the future games of your seeds[emoji]128516[/emoji]
[emoji]9996[/emoji]️
Click to expand...
:pimp:
 
My girl has the IUD 99% effective?
Not sure, save money on the condoms & get the relief of busting in her.
Ain't trying to have kids though, might switch back to condoms. Been going at 2+ years, no babies yet. She had a check up like two months ago to make sure it was still in place & "working".
 
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