Textsfromlastnight.com LMAO

[jabawokee]

(816): you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
(636): you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?


(81: On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?

(803): We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. #!$?
(843): You're upset about this?

 

[sorkoram]

 

[paladizzle]

Originally Posted by Th3Ownly

the best one in my opinion


(603): Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
(1-603) Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know

lool

 

[bkmac]

The baby brother of FML.

(815): Why did you send me a picture of a @@$*?
(630): It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.

 

[jaye05]

i'll come back to this later

 

[so4i5]

Trying to read this in class FTL

 

[ooiron manoo]

(603): Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
(1-603) Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know

 

[jeenewed]

Originally Posted by FL0ETiCNOSTALGiA

Originally Posted by cRazy dav0

Originally Posted by JayADiCt92

if you force a %*#%%% to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
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so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
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Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
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(734): hey call me
(810): can't. in the shower.
(734): ... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.

 

[rawk on]

Originally Posted by R31J23

(480): I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.

(201): whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a **%$ ton of free thc

(312): You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
(384): How come?
(312): Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message

 

[jamesonnt]

(512): Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer

'bout to browse this site for a few ..

 

[la213espg]

Originally Posted by bkmac

The baby brother of FML.

(815): Why did you send me a picture of a @@$*?
(630): It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.

 

[vdubsta]

(546): Just did shrooms. Don't feel !#%$! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch ismelting. %#@*%% waste of money.

 

[kicks4kaskets]

Originally Posted by Jabawokee

(816): you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
(636): you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?

. Dude should off himself.

 

[jthagreat]

Originally Posted by Jabawokee

(816): you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
(636): you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?

 

[jordanpheen]

Originally Posted by JCASH DA KID

(67: did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
(404): did it work?
(67: nope

 

[NewZ05]

 

[y0ung j33zy]

(775): Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
(1-775): What!?!?! How are you txting?!
(775): Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.

 

[northparkblind]

 

[MegaTran610]

lol

 

[dearwinter219]

Originally Posted by y0ung j33zy

(775): Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
(1-775): What!?!?! How are you txting?!
(775): Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.

Low key, that's love though. I wish an officer would notify my girl via text if he was about to yank me. That's love all day

 

[Deleted member 37754]

(630): Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.

chris brown

(321): I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.

(914): Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweetnothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by theway. that sounds like a hell of a time

(201): he wasnt completely random
(914): you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
(201): i get things done.

 

[cryingfreemancoa]

(20: i just saw a ****** buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.

 

[elpablo21]

(24: #$#*+ is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
(312): It's worth it.
(24: How worth it?
(312): Back door worth it

(703): Can i come over
(240): After you called me a desperate @+@+? No
(240): Come over

(586): 1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
(586): 1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
(586): 2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?

 

[livewyre]

(773): Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?

 

[Deleted member 37754]

^^