There are NO benefits for men to get married.

[pleasurephd]

Originally Posted by Still1Rise


My intentions for this thread are not to bash people already married, but yet inform others to think for themselves and decide what lifestyle will Truly be enjoyable.

What I see in many marriages... Most women would never settle down if they didnt lose there looks or have a biological time clock. But they cash in because they know after a while there value will go down and then nobody will want them.  Men do not have this problem, but can get caught up in the whole family life before reaching their true potential. The not so attactive ones have to believe in "love" because what else do they have to believe in? They end up settling for Mr. good enough, not someone they truly love. A marriage imo is just a partnership. What makes for a good marriage does not make for a good romantic relationship. I think many women would actually like to be married and feel alone then really be alone.

Marriage for men = human wallet, sperm donor, babysitter.

Overall its interesting to hear different views. Even tho we will never really see eye to eye I appreciate everyones opinion. To each is his own tho.

I understand you intentions, but you should have stated this in the original post. 

I bet most girls you encounter do think they wouldn't ever if this were true. But, not the women I associate with. Their value goes down? LOL so they all don't want to get settled down, they all just want to be "leased" by us "men" forever, but since their value goes down in the lease dept. they must get married?

I know men who raise families and still are turning into their full personal potential. I might soon be one of them. Probably not but maybe. Unlike you my personal goals and accomplishment in life are not only to be great in my own individual life and career. I am taking actions as an individual to be fulfilled and as a man who wants to raise and protect a family, which is a separate but also shared fulfillment.

lol unattractive men have to believe in love... there is just no point in discussing this with you we will have to agree to disagree. nomo but look how man "attractive" men are married to the most beautiful women.

Would they now? Women want to be married and forever alone? That's why the divorce rate is do high huh? Oh and I thought they want to just be forever alone and leased?

If that's what you think men are for to a woman in a marriage then again there is no point in discussing the true value of being in a relationship with someone where both of you actually value the title of being married to the other person.

 

[pleasurephd]

Originally Posted by Still1Rise


My intentions for this thread are not to bash people already married, but yet inform others to think for themselves and decide what lifestyle will Truly be enjoyable.

What I see in many marriages... Most women would never settle down if they didnt lose there looks or have a biological time clock. But they cash in because they know after a while there value will go down and then nobody will want them.  Men do not have this problem, but can get caught up in the whole family life before reaching their true potential. The not so attactive ones have to believe in "love" because what else do they have to believe in? They end up settling for Mr. good enough, not someone they truly love. A marriage imo is just a partnership. What makes for a good marriage does not make for a good romantic relationship. I think many women would actually like to be married and feel alone then really be alone.

Marriage for men = human wallet, sperm donor, babysitter.

Overall its interesting to hear different views. Even tho we will never really see eye to eye I appreciate everyones opinion. To each is his own tho.

I understand you intentions, but you should have stated this in the original post. 

I bet most girls you encounter do think they wouldn't ever if this were true. But, not the women I associate with. Their value goes down? LOL so they all don't want to get settled down, they all just want to be "leased" by us "men" forever, but since their value goes down in the lease dept. they must get married?

I know men who raise families and still are turning into their full personal potential. I might soon be one of them. Probably not but maybe. Unlike you my personal goals and accomplishment in life are not only to be great in my own individual life and career. I am taking actions as an individual to be fulfilled and as a man who wants to raise and protect a family, which is a separate but also shared fulfillment.

lol unattractive men have to believe in love... there is just no point in discussing this with you we will have to agree to disagree. nomo but look how man "attractive" men are married to the most beautiful women.

Would they now? Women want to be married and forever alone? That's why the divorce rate is do high huh? Oh and I thought they want to just be forever alone and leased?

If that's what you think men are for to a woman in a marriage then again there is no point in discussing the true value of being in a relationship with someone where both of you actually value the title of being married to the other person.

 

[pleasurephd]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by PleasurePhD

I have 100 respect for you man I understand. Marriage won't change anything if you are already that tight. Which is why I said people like you are still respectable that bond is still there, the most important thing. You don't need the marriage. Just personally, I do.

Why? Please explain why you need it please.

Without it you would have _______?

And honest question, be real. Do you think what you and your wife have is stronger than what LDJ and his life long friend have because you went through that ceremony? Be honest here. If so/not, why?

Without it I would have the same exact relationship. But, with it I have pride a sense of pride in calling my lady my wife. With it I have this title that connects us and bonds us together since that title means so much to us.

I need it because, well, that title is personally just important to me and my lady, and so I personally need it to have a word strong enough to discribe our relationship because I surely wouldn't be satisfied with calling her just my GF even if there was no term for wife or being married I would feel like a stronger word was needed. Also, I need to be married to have a family and that gives my life purpose.

No, I don't think what I have is stronger than LDJ especially since I don't know him, and def not because I just got married. So many idiots gettin married that don't have strong relationships.

 

[pleasurephd]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by PleasurePhD

I have 100 respect for you man I understand. Marriage won't change anything if you are already that tight. Which is why I said people like you are still respectable that bond is still there, the most important thing. You don't need the marriage. Just personally, I do.

Why? Please explain why you need it please.

Without it you would have _______?

And honest question, be real. Do you think what you and your wife have is stronger than what LDJ and his life long friend have because you went through that ceremony? Be honest here. If so/not, why?

Without it I would have the same exact relationship. But, with it I have pride a sense of pride in calling my lady my wife. With it I have this title that connects us and bonds us together since that title means so much to us.

I need it because, well, that title is personally just important to me and my lady, and so I personally need it to have a word strong enough to discribe our relationship because I surely wouldn't be satisfied with calling her just my GF even if there was no term for wife or being married I would feel like a stronger word was needed. Also, I need to be married to have a family and that gives my life purpose.

No, I don't think what I have is stronger than LDJ especially since I don't know him, and def not because I just got married. So many idiots gettin married that don't have strong relationships.

 

[pleasurephd]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by PleasurePhD


One day it didn't change. The reason why you marry someone is because you felt that unconditional love before.

I wish we would be real with ourselves. Humans don't love other humans unconditionally. If your wife shot one of your closest family members in the head, do your feelings toward her change? I know it is a wild question, but I am just trying to disprove the notion of unconditional love.

Originally Posted by LeClutchJames

what do you do when your children ask you why you and mommy arent married??

Explain to them what I am saying in this thread when they are of the age to comprehend it. Which will probably be late teens, early 20s. There is nothing to hide at all nor be ashamed of.

You're right my love would change for her because I wouldn't never expect such a thing and that means I didn't really know her. I think I would still appreciate our past though, even if I would probably be infuriated at the same time thinking of it.

 

[pleasurephd]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by PleasurePhD


One day it didn't change. The reason why you marry someone is because you felt that unconditional love before.

I wish we would be real with ourselves. Humans don't love other humans unconditionally. If your wife shot one of your closest family members in the head, do your feelings toward her change? I know it is a wild question, but I am just trying to disprove the notion of unconditional love.

Originally Posted by LeClutchJames

what do you do when your children ask you why you and mommy arent married??

Explain to them what I am saying in this thread when they are of the age to comprehend it. Which will probably be late teens, early 20s. There is nothing to hide at all nor be ashamed of.

You're right my love would change for her because I wouldn't never expect such a thing and that means I didn't really know her. I think I would still appreciate our past though, even if I would probably be infuriated at the same time thinking of it.

 

[pleasurephd]

Originally Posted by ninjahood

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by PleasurePhD

I have 100 respect for you man I understand. Marriage won't change anything if you are already that tight. Which is why I said people like you are still respectable that bond is still there, the most important thing. You don't need the marriage. Just personally, I do.

Why? Please explain why you need it please.

social perception & peer pressure...i can smell it.

Trust me I could give an eff what society and my peers think of me and think of me and my wife. Only a person who knows me would understand though.

So you must be smellin your upper lip son.

 

[pleasurephd]

Originally Posted by ninjahood

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by PleasurePhD

I have 100 respect for you man I understand. Marriage won't change anything if you are already that tight. Which is why I said people like you are still respectable that bond is still there, the most important thing. You don't need the marriage. Just personally, I do.

Why? Please explain why you need it please.

social perception & peer pressure...i can smell it.

Trust me I could give an eff what society and my peers think of me and think of me and my wife. Only a person who knows me would understand though.

So you must be smellin your upper lip son.

 

[dskilz3]

I have been married to my wife for almost 6 years and prior to us marrying we were together for 11 years. 
In my experience seeing many friends, friends of friends, family members and associates have troubled marriages I can say with utmost certainty that the problem was. In the overwhelming majority of the failed marriages they just got married too soon.........it is just that simple. 

I can't count how many people we spoke with during the 11 years we were dating that would ask "So when are you two finally getting married?" Those same people would meet someone and get married after 3-6 months either because they got pregnant or just bought into the "idea" of marriage and be divorced no less than a year or two later. Like I said, I have seen more of those situations then I can count and each and every one of those situations could have been avoided if they had not rushed into marriage. Everyone just has to have the immediate payoff these days and is not willing to do their due diligence. 

My wife and I have been through thick and thin and are as strong as ever as we hang on to each other through what is the toughest spot we have ever been in financially, but we both know that at the end of the day we have each other to keep us going. Marriage is obviously not for everyone, but when you do it just make sure you are doing it right!

 

[dskilz3]

I have been married to my wife for almost 6 years and prior to us marrying we were together for 11 years. 
In my experience seeing many friends, friends of friends, family members and associates have troubled marriages I can say with utmost certainty that the problem was. In the overwhelming majority of the failed marriages they just got married too soon.........it is just that simple. 

I can't count how many people we spoke with during the 11 years we were dating that would ask "So when are you two finally getting married?" Those same people would meet someone and get married after 3-6 months either because they got pregnant or just bought into the "idea" of marriage and be divorced no less than a year or two later. Like I said, I have seen more of those situations then I can count and each and every one of those situations could have been avoided if they had not rushed into marriage. Everyone just has to have the immediate payoff these days and is not willing to do their due diligence. 

My wife and I have been through thick and thin and are as strong as ever as we hang on to each other through what is the toughest spot we have ever been in financially, but we both know that at the end of the day we have each other to keep us going. Marriage is obviously not for everyone, but when you do it just make sure you are doing it right!

 

[pleasurephd]

Originally Posted by Dskilz3

I have been married to my wife for almost 6 years and prior to us marrying we were together for 11 years. 
In my experience seeing many friends, friends of friends, family members and associates have troubled marriages I can say with utmost certainty that the problem was. In the overwhelming majority of the failed marriages they just got married too soon.........it is just that simple. 

I can't count how many people we spoke with during the 11 years we were dating that would ask "So when are you two finally getting married?" Those same people would meet someone and get married after 3-6 months either because they got pregnant or just bought into the "idea" of marriage and be divorced no less than a year or two later. Like I said, I have seen more of those situations then I can count and each and every one of those situations could have been avoided if they had not rushed into marriage. Everyone just has to have the immediate payoff these days and is not willing to do their due diligence. 

My wife and I have been through thick and thin and are as strong as ever as we hang on to each other through what is the toughest spot we have ever been in financially, but we both know that at the end of the day we have each other to keep us going. Marriage is obviously not for everyone, but when you do it just make sure you are doing it right!

 

[pleasurephd]

Originally Posted by Dskilz3

I have been married to my wife for almost 6 years and prior to us marrying we were together for 11 years. 
In my experience seeing many friends, friends of friends, family members and associates have troubled marriages I can say with utmost certainty that the problem was. In the overwhelming majority of the failed marriages they just got married too soon.........it is just that simple. 

I can't count how many people we spoke with during the 11 years we were dating that would ask "So when are you two finally getting married?" Those same people would meet someone and get married after 3-6 months either because they got pregnant or just bought into the "idea" of marriage and be divorced no less than a year or two later. Like I said, I have seen more of those situations then I can count and each and every one of those situations could have been avoided if they had not rushed into marriage. Everyone just has to have the immediate payoff these days and is not willing to do their due diligence. 

My wife and I have been through thick and thin and are as strong as ever as we hang on to each other through what is the toughest spot we have ever been in financially, but we both know that at the end of the day we have each other to keep us going. Marriage is obviously not for everyone, but when you do it just make sure you are doing it right!

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by ricky409

man... reading thru this thread has been DOPE.

i took a few things from this thread... a few posts stood out...

i'm not a 35 year old family man, or a newly wed, or a 28 year old single guy...

i'm just 21, soaking up as many perspectives as i can... and this is what i took.

Originally Posted by I AM THAT DUDE

Their arguments aren't even consistent though. Do you want to stay single forever and "lease" women, switching them out whenever you think you can get a newer, faster, better, more willing one since they are "depreciating assets" and apparently you see women, or at least the ones who you pursue, as only being able to contribute looking pretty and nothing else and as only being your tremendous wealth and wordly possessions to "rob" them from you and trap you so they get half. Or are you about monogamy and long term relationships and families still, just don't want to be bothered with a ceremony which you perceive to be "meaningless?"

Are you going to have your names on the birth certificate when your kids are born? Give them your last name or have them keep the Mother's name?

I want to marry the future mother of my kids and give them my last name as a symbol to her and my kids of my commitment to them. Yes, the legal aspect is undeniable as well and that (life insurance, health care, tax purposes) is part of what I want them to have. Given the fact I trusted her enough to bare my children and figure to spend the rest of my life with her, I equally trust that she will not try to take advantage of the situation and get me for half or anything like that. Furthermore, my future wife will be someone with their own career who is financially near or on par, hell maybe makes more (current girl I "mess with" is a nurse and her pockets probably ***# on mine's) than me. Is there a risk there? Perhaps.

Even if we agree for her to become "just" a housewife, there have been multiple studies done by economist including the US Bureau of Labor (and admittedly it is a somewhat flawed science) on the valuation, or opportunity cost, of a housewife's contribution to the household that puts the # at 125K. http://www.coeinc.org/Articles/HousewifeWorth.pdfhttp://www.coeinc.org/Articles/HousewifeWorth.pdf or http://www.economica.ca/ew09_1p2.htm)http://www.economica.ca/ew09_1p2.htm)

Again, it's just not my goal to be a baby daddy nor do I want my kids in a single mother home situation (obviously barring anything unforeseen between myself and the mother) with various other dudes in and out of their life. So yes, I do value a father over a baby daddy. Nothing is absolute though, it's not to say all married dads are automatically good and not being married or together with the mom so you can spare me the examples of failed marriages or good ones.

It's funny because yall are the same dudes always complaining about equality and chivalry. Talkin' bout she got hands she can open her own door, let's go Dutch, she can carry her own heavy bags if she want to be equal, then the same time are going to expect a woman to do all the cooking and cleaning, wait on you hand and foot, and basically still subscribe to gender roles when it benefits you all the while comparing them to property talking about depreciation and replacing them. Double standard much?

the hell is this??

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

well then cross that out and replace it with husband, the same rules apply. Calling me gay is hardly an insult, there are men I could gladly marry if I were attracted to them.

http://www.gifsoup.com/]

Originally Posted by KSTAR

this is always said when it comes to marriage..."whats yours is hers and whats hers is hers...." > SMH

insert that *alonzo mourning gif*

Originally Posted by calikev34

OP, these are young man's ideals your spewing.
I may share some of the same opinions, but I'm just saying, remember your perspective.

How many young dudes you know that actually WANT TO GET MARRIED?

Eh. Maybe one, probably none. Yet, almost every one of those guys will end up with a wife.

Yes, we've all been conditioned to believe is our destiny, but the older heads have a point when they tell us to "Grow up."

Not saying that's a good thing, just something to keep in mind.

Now, I know all of ONE HAPPILY MARRIED COUPLE in my life.

Given, my standards are high; I'm a pessimist. A realist, really.

Why would I wanna join all these people in misery and get married?

Ok, go ahead and analyze me, and guess that my parents had a bad marriage. You would be correct, but you're playing the odds, almost no one has happy parents- that i know.

I know I'm young, but hey, it is what it is.

Just because everyone does it doesn't make it right.

Actually, following something blindly is the worst thing you can do.

Dudes saying "You'll never find a girl that doesn't wanna get married/

- These are short minded old dudes. I have met girls that don't wanna get married.

And it makes sense because in modern day America, they, like us, don't see many successful marriages.

And relationships are all about compromise, right?

If not getting married is of the utmost importance to you, and if she loves you, is it not feasible to think she should compromise for you?

Just my thoughts.

Peace

LDJ seems to be the most level headed in here. hasnt resulted in much name calling.

ksteezy... you REALLY are deadset on forcing your opinion on others. but you're view of marriage is positive, and that's dope. you gotta admit that some marriage just isnt socially viewed the same. you are actually a minorty in th america, fambs.

DC... good points, but you're name is kinda tainted. people are going to go against you  stongly.

truthgetbusy ... you my dude, but i gotta disagree w/ some stuff. although i dig about checkin under the hood for a test drive.

capricorn1229 is THE TROLL of the thread.... it seem like you tryin to get reaction, fambs... come on, now.

like i said, this thread has no right or wrong answers...I somehow got some heat for agreeing with LDJ although I'm very open to marriage for validating relationships. For goodness sake I campaigned for gay people to get married. With that being said I take the negatives of being tied down very seriously, for me to make that commitment she has to be perfect....which is why I see where someone like ksteezy is coming from, he seems like he found his perfect woman. Everyone in this thread has a point. Capricorn isn't trolling....which is a bad thing. Every response she made in this thread seemed to be off "instinct". Some people lack the ability to think objectively.

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by ricky409

man... reading thru this thread has been DOPE.

i took a few things from this thread... a few posts stood out...

i'm not a 35 year old family man, or a newly wed, or a 28 year old single guy...

i'm just 21, soaking up as many perspectives as i can... and this is what i took.

Originally Posted by I AM THAT DUDE

Their arguments aren't even consistent though. Do you want to stay single forever and "lease" women, switching them out whenever you think you can get a newer, faster, better, more willing one since they are "depreciating assets" and apparently you see women, or at least the ones who you pursue, as only being able to contribute looking pretty and nothing else and as only being your tremendous wealth and wordly possessions to "rob" them from you and trap you so they get half. Or are you about monogamy and long term relationships and families still, just don't want to be bothered with a ceremony which you perceive to be "meaningless?"

Are you going to have your names on the birth certificate when your kids are born? Give them your last name or have them keep the Mother's name?

I want to marry the future mother of my kids and give them my last name as a symbol to her and my kids of my commitment to them. Yes, the legal aspect is undeniable as well and that (life insurance, health care, tax purposes) is part of what I want them to have. Given the fact I trusted her enough to bare my children and figure to spend the rest of my life with her, I equally trust that she will not try to take advantage of the situation and get me for half or anything like that. Furthermore, my future wife will be someone with their own career who is financially near or on par, hell maybe makes more (current girl I "mess with" is a nurse and her pockets probably ***# on mine's) than me. Is there a risk there? Perhaps.

Even if we agree for her to become "just" a housewife, there have been multiple studies done by economist including the US Bureau of Labor (and admittedly it is a somewhat flawed science) on the valuation, or opportunity cost, of a housewife's contribution to the household that puts the # at 125K. http://www.coeinc.org/Articles/HousewifeWorth.pdfhttp://www.coeinc.org/Articles/HousewifeWorth.pdf or http://www.economica.ca/ew09_1p2.htm)http://www.economica.ca/ew09_1p2.htm)

Again, it's just not my goal to be a baby daddy nor do I want my kids in a single mother home situation (obviously barring anything unforeseen between myself and the mother) with various other dudes in and out of their life. So yes, I do value a father over a baby daddy. Nothing is absolute though, it's not to say all married dads are automatically good and not being married or together with the mom so you can spare me the examples of failed marriages or good ones.

It's funny because yall are the same dudes always complaining about equality and chivalry. Talkin' bout she got hands she can open her own door, let's go Dutch, she can carry her own heavy bags if she want to be equal, then the same time are going to expect a woman to do all the cooking and cleaning, wait on you hand and foot, and basically still subscribe to gender roles when it benefits you all the while comparing them to property talking about depreciation and replacing them. Double standard much?

the hell is this??

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

well then cross that out and replace it with husband, the same rules apply. Calling me gay is hardly an insult, there are men I could gladly marry if I were attracted to them.

http://www.gifsoup.com/]

Originally Posted by KSTAR

this is always said when it comes to marriage..."whats yours is hers and whats hers is hers...." > SMH

insert that *alonzo mourning gif*

Originally Posted by calikev34

OP, these are young man's ideals your spewing.
I may share some of the same opinions, but I'm just saying, remember your perspective.

How many young dudes you know that actually WANT TO GET MARRIED?

Eh. Maybe one, probably none. Yet, almost every one of those guys will end up with a wife.

Yes, we've all been conditioned to believe is our destiny, but the older heads have a point when they tell us to "Grow up."

Not saying that's a good thing, just something to keep in mind.

Now, I know all of ONE HAPPILY MARRIED COUPLE in my life.

Given, my standards are high; I'm a pessimist. A realist, really.

Why would I wanna join all these people in misery and get married?

Ok, go ahead and analyze me, and guess that my parents had a bad marriage. You would be correct, but you're playing the odds, almost no one has happy parents- that i know.

I know I'm young, but hey, it is what it is.

Just because everyone does it doesn't make it right.

Actually, following something blindly is the worst thing you can do.

Dudes saying "You'll never find a girl that doesn't wanna get married/

- These are short minded old dudes. I have met girls that don't wanna get married.

And it makes sense because in modern day America, they, like us, don't see many successful marriages.

And relationships are all about compromise, right?

If not getting married is of the utmost importance to you, and if she loves you, is it not feasible to think she should compromise for you?

Just my thoughts.

Peace

LDJ seems to be the most level headed in here. hasnt resulted in much name calling.

ksteezy... you REALLY are deadset on forcing your opinion on others. but you're view of marriage is positive, and that's dope. you gotta admit that some marriage just isnt socially viewed the same. you are actually a minorty in th america, fambs.

DC... good points, but you're name is kinda tainted. people are going to go against you  stongly.

truthgetbusy ... you my dude, but i gotta disagree w/ some stuff. although i dig about checkin under the hood for a test drive.

capricorn1229 is THE TROLL of the thread.... it seem like you tryin to get reaction, fambs... come on, now.

like i said, this thread has no right or wrong answers...I somehow got some heat for agreeing with LDJ although I'm very open to marriage for validating relationships. For goodness sake I campaigned for gay people to get married. With that being said I take the negatives of being tied down very seriously, for me to make that commitment she has to be perfect....which is why I see where someone like ksteezy is coming from, he seems like he found his perfect woman. Everyone in this thread has a point. Capricorn isn't trolling....which is a bad thing. Every response she made in this thread seemed to be off "instinct". Some people lack the ability to think objectively.

 

[bence23]

Originally Posted by Still1Rise

Originally Posted by RATxAxTAT

Originally Posted by Still1Rise

Women are depreciating asssets. Why buy when you can lease.

This is one of the most sexist, dehumanizing things I've read on here.

Call it what you want. But at the end of the day its the truth. Would a guy rather have a smoking hot chick or some 35 year old washed up hag that passed by all the nice guys to have her fun with the bad boys.

 

[bence23]

Originally Posted by Still1Rise

Originally Posted by RATxAxTAT

Originally Posted by Still1Rise

Women are depreciating asssets. Why buy when you can lease.

This is one of the most sexist, dehumanizing things I've read on here.

Call it what you want. But at the end of the day its the truth. Would a guy rather have a smoking hot chick or some 35 year old washed up hag that passed by all the nice guys to have her fun with the bad boys.

 

[wawaweewa]

Considering that marriage is an unnatural status, OP isn't that far off.

Why did the feds and states provide incentives for marriage? You don't provide incentives for actions that people are willing to do without.

 

[wawaweewa]

Considering that marriage is an unnatural status, OP isn't that far off.

Why did the feds and states provide incentives for marriage? You don't provide incentives for actions that people are willing to do without.

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by ricky409

man... reading thru this thread has been DOPE.

i took a few things from this thread... a few posts stood out...

i'm not a 35 year old family man, or a newly wed, or a 28 year old single guy...

i'm just 21, soaking up as many perspectives as i can... and this is what i took.

Originally Posted by I AM THAT DUDE

Their arguments aren't even consistent though. Do you want to stay single forever and "lease" women, switching them out whenever you think you can get a newer, faster, better, more willing one since they are "depreciating assets" and apparently you see women, or at least the ones who you pursue, as only being able to contribute looking pretty and nothing else and as only being your tremendous wealth and wordly possessions to "rob" them from you and trap you so they get half. Or are you about monogamy and long term relationships and families still, just don't want to be bothered with a ceremony which you perceive to be "meaningless?"

Are you going to have your names on the birth certificate when your kids are born? Give them your last name or have them keep the Mother's name?

I want to marry the future mother of my kids and give them my last name as a symbol to her and my kids of my commitment to them. Yes, the legal aspect is undeniable as well and that (life insurance, health care, tax purposes) is part of what I want them to have. Given the fact I trusted her enough to bare my children and figure to spend the rest of my life with her, I equally trust that she will not try to take advantage of the situation and get me for half or anything like that. Furthermore, my future wife will be someone with their own career who is financially near or on par, hell maybe makes more (current girl I "mess with" is a nurse and her pockets probably ***# on mine's) than me. Is there a risk there? Perhaps.

Even if we agree for her to become "just" a housewife, there have been multiple studies done by economist including the US Bureau of Labor (and admittedly it is a somewhat flawed science) on the valuation, or opportunity cost, of a housewife's contribution to the household that puts the # at 125K. http://www.coeinc.org/Articles/HousewifeWorth.pdfhttp://www.coeinc.org/Articles/HousewifeWorth.pdf or http://www.economica.ca/ew09_1p2.htm)http://www.economica.ca/ew09_1p2.htm)

Again, it's just not my goal to be a baby daddy nor do I want my kids in a single mother home situation (obviously barring anything unforeseen between myself and the mother) with various other dudes in and out of their life. So yes, I do value a father over a baby daddy. Nothing is absolute though, it's not to say all married dads are automatically good and not being married or together with the mom so you can spare me the examples of failed marriages or good ones.

It's funny because yall are the same dudes always complaining about equality and chivalry. Talkin' bout she got hands she can open her own door, let's go Dutch, she can carry her own heavy bags if she want to be equal, then the same time are going to expect a woman to do all the cooking and cleaning, wait on you hand and foot, and basically still subscribe to gender roles when it benefits you all the while comparing them to property talking about depreciation and replacing them. Double standard much?

the hell is this??

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

well then cross that out and replace it with husband, the same rules apply. Calling me gay is hardly an insult, there are men I could gladly marry if I were attracted to them.

http://www.gifsoup.com/]

Originally Posted by KSTAR

this is always said when it comes to marriage..."whats yours is hers and whats hers is hers...." > SMH

insert that *alonzo mourning gif*

Originally Posted by calikev34

OP, these are young man's ideals your spewing.
I may share some of the same opinions, but I'm just saying, remember your perspective.

How many young dudes you know that actually WANT TO GET MARRIED?

Eh. Maybe one, probably none. Yet, almost every one of those guys will end up with a wife.

Yes, we've all been conditioned to believe is our destiny, but the older heads have a point when they tell us to "Grow up."

Not saying that's a good thing, just something to keep in mind.

Now, I know all of ONE HAPPILY MARRIED COUPLE in my life.

Given, my standards are high; I'm a pessimist. A realist, really.

Why would I wanna join all these people in misery and get married?

Ok, go ahead and analyze me, and guess that my parents had a bad marriage. You would be correct, but you're playing the odds, almost no one has happy parents- that i know.

I know I'm young, but hey, it is what it is.

Just because everyone does it doesn't make it right.

Actually, following something blindly is the worst thing you can do.

Dudes saying "You'll never find a girl that doesn't wanna get married/

- These are short minded old dudes. I have met girls that don't wanna get married.

And it makes sense because in modern day America, they, like us, don't see many successful marriages.

And relationships are all about compromise, right?

If not getting married is of the utmost importance to you, and if she loves you, is it not feasible to think she should compromise for you?

Just my thoughts.

Peace

LDJ seems to be the most level headed in here. hasnt resulted in much name calling.

ksteezy... you REALLY are deadset on forcing your opinion on others. but you're view of marriage is positive, and that's dope. you gotta admit that some marriage just isnt socially viewed the same. you are actually a minorty in th america, fambs.

DC... good points, but you're name is kinda tainted. people are going to go against you  stongly.

truthgetbusy ... you my dude, but i gotta disagree w/ some stuff. although i dig about checkin under the hood for a test drive.

capricorn1229 is THE TROLL of the thread.... it seem like you tryin to get reaction, fambs... come on, now.

That posting about a housewife is so flawed and ill-informed and I have broke it down so many times and exposed it for what it is. First most of these studies are done by ppl who have no earthly idea what they talking about.


Child Care= First this stat is based on 24/7 days a week. Um unless the husband is someone who travels and is away from the home 24/7 this is flawed. Second most children attend some sort of daycare at one point of there life. And last time i checked kids eventually went to school. I could be wrong but I swore there was a law that required your kids to go to school. Average kid attends school 8-9 hrs a day so.... And the average child sleeps around 9hrs or so a day. So 6 hrs a day is hardly 24/7 Not to mention many kids play etc outside with friends watch tv.

Cook= Thats the going rate for a professional culinary artist who works in a 5 star restaurant. Lets be honest the average woman isnt cooking like rachael ray. And also the average family eats out 4 days out of the week. So thats hardly 7 days a week.

Dishwasher= This again is flawed. A professional one washes dishes on a 8-10hr shift. Unless you got like 100 kids. I seriously doubt your wife etc is washing dishes 8hrs straight. Also the average family is 4 ppl. What restuarant you know only averages 4 customers a day? Also most men/husband eat one meal at home. Same goes for the children. And thats dinner. The only person who is home and eating during the day etc is the wife. I dont know of too many restaurants, that will put a roof over its employees head, pay for the food they eat, and pay them to wash their on dishes.

Chauffer= This one is ridiculous. First they have to pay for their own gas, which this stat didnt factor in. Also they have to travel throughout various places and pick up numerous ppl all day. If you are the average 4 ppl family this doesnt apply. You could make the argument that you go pay bills etc. But the average person does that online so. And you could say grocery shopping. But you dont drive 8hrs nonstop everyday to get groceries, and who goes grocery shopping everyday. Also outside of picking up the kids and stopping past a fastfood etc to get dinner thats a one trip deal. And again a chauffer wouldnt get paid to go get the food, and get money to purchase the food. The average chauffer travels over 150 miles a day. No wife is driving 150+ miles a day running aarons for the family.

Maid= This one is probably the closest to be accurate. While there is some flaws ill let em have this one.

Rec Coordinator= This one contridicts the child care provider. Child care providers provide this service. Its apart of the job. What daycare/camp you every heard of that you have to pay them extra to provide activities/food for the kids? Also if the wife have the kids off in activities etc how can they be taking care of the kids 24/7 if the kids arent even in the home? You really arent caring for them/providing much for a child that isnt with you. And if you dont work then it is really the husband who is providing the service seeing as he is the one paying the outsource help to perform the activity.

Tutor=Most schools provide this. And whos to say all children need tutors. And whose to say every housewife knows about every subject that the school teaches. And this also makes the assumption that the father is clueless about the school curriculum, and that he has no interaction with the kids and isnt active in their childrens lives and their education.

Book-keeping= Many ppl nowadays do the budget/bills together.  Most couples discuss cost etc together. In this day in age its very few men who just come home drop off the check, and sit back and be clueless to where the money goes. Plus with online banking and billpay etc... You can check balances etc pay bills all from your pc and/or cell phone.



This whole article is based on some 1940's husband who basically worked handed the check to the woman, flopped in front of the tv, and is getting waited on hand and foot. Lets be real how many families are structured like this? How many woman really jump up to the snap for a man? Hell how many families in this day in age dont have a computer, dishwashers, washing machines, and a guy who isnt involved physically and emotionally in there kids life? How many men in this day and age are clueless about the bills? Hell how many women in this day in age cook 3 meals a day 7 days a week? And how many average woman cook on a 5 star level? How many woman detail clean the house from top to bottom everyday? Hell its women nowadays that wont even take out the garbage.

This sounds like one of those guys who makes a fairly decent to good amount of money, who has some sort of trophy wife, who doesnt have much to offer an employer outside the home, and has never really did work inside the home so he is just inflating the value because he has no clue whats going on.

Also this doesnt include the average family, in which there are two working adults. It also didnt factor in the comfort of being at home, nor did it factor that on a average job you have a schedule created by a boss, and you cant just stop rest/break as you please. Most jobs dont have a job you can rest on or a tv you can just kick back and watch as you please. Ive been to tons of 5 star restaurants and i never seen a tv in the back. So many factors they conviently left out.


    

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by ricky409

man... reading thru this thread has been DOPE.

i took a few things from this thread... a few posts stood out...

i'm not a 35 year old family man, or a newly wed, or a 28 year old single guy...

i'm just 21, soaking up as many perspectives as i can... and this is what i took.

Originally Posted by I AM THAT DUDE

Their arguments aren't even consistent though. Do you want to stay single forever and "lease" women, switching them out whenever you think you can get a newer, faster, better, more willing one since they are "depreciating assets" and apparently you see women, or at least the ones who you pursue, as only being able to contribute looking pretty and nothing else and as only being your tremendous wealth and wordly possessions to "rob" them from you and trap you so they get half. Or are you about monogamy and long term relationships and families still, just don't want to be bothered with a ceremony which you perceive to be "meaningless?"

Are you going to have your names on the birth certificate when your kids are born? Give them your last name or have them keep the Mother's name?

I want to marry the future mother of my kids and give them my last name as a symbol to her and my kids of my commitment to them. Yes, the legal aspect is undeniable as well and that (life insurance, health care, tax purposes) is part of what I want them to have. Given the fact I trusted her enough to bare my children and figure to spend the rest of my life with her, I equally trust that she will not try to take advantage of the situation and get me for half or anything like that. Furthermore, my future wife will be someone with their own career who is financially near or on par, hell maybe makes more (current girl I "mess with" is a nurse and her pockets probably ***# on mine's) than me. Is there a risk there? Perhaps.

Even if we agree for her to become "just" a housewife, there have been multiple studies done by economist including the US Bureau of Labor (and admittedly it is a somewhat flawed science) on the valuation, or opportunity cost, of a housewife's contribution to the household that puts the # at 125K. http://www.coeinc.org/Articles/HousewifeWorth.pdfhttp://www.coeinc.org/Articles/HousewifeWorth.pdf or http://www.economica.ca/ew09_1p2.htm)http://www.economica.ca/ew09_1p2.htm)

Again, it's just not my goal to be a baby daddy nor do I want my kids in a single mother home situation (obviously barring anything unforeseen between myself and the mother) with various other dudes in and out of their life. So yes, I do value a father over a baby daddy. Nothing is absolute though, it's not to say all married dads are automatically good and not being married or together with the mom so you can spare me the examples of failed marriages or good ones.

It's funny because yall are the same dudes always complaining about equality and chivalry. Talkin' bout she got hands she can open her own door, let's go Dutch, she can carry her own heavy bags if she want to be equal, then the same time are going to expect a woman to do all the cooking and cleaning, wait on you hand and foot, and basically still subscribe to gender roles when it benefits you all the while comparing them to property talking about depreciation and replacing them. Double standard much?

the hell is this??

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

well then cross that out and replace it with husband, the same rules apply. Calling me gay is hardly an insult, there are men I could gladly marry if I were attracted to them.

http://www.gifsoup.com/]

Originally Posted by KSTAR

this is always said when it comes to marriage..."whats yours is hers and whats hers is hers...." > SMH

insert that *alonzo mourning gif*

Originally Posted by calikev34

OP, these are young man's ideals your spewing.
I may share some of the same opinions, but I'm just saying, remember your perspective.

How many young dudes you know that actually WANT TO GET MARRIED?

Eh. Maybe one, probably none. Yet, almost every one of those guys will end up with a wife.

Yes, we've all been conditioned to believe is our destiny, but the older heads have a point when they tell us to "Grow up."

Not saying that's a good thing, just something to keep in mind.

Now, I know all of ONE HAPPILY MARRIED COUPLE in my life.

Given, my standards are high; I'm a pessimist. A realist, really.

Why would I wanna join all these people in misery and get married?

Ok, go ahead and analyze me, and guess that my parents had a bad marriage. You would be correct, but you're playing the odds, almost no one has happy parents- that i know.

I know I'm young, but hey, it is what it is.

Just because everyone does it doesn't make it right.

Actually, following something blindly is the worst thing you can do.

Dudes saying "You'll never find a girl that doesn't wanna get married/

- These are short minded old dudes. I have met girls that don't wanna get married.

And it makes sense because in modern day America, they, like us, don't see many successful marriages.

And relationships are all about compromise, right?

If not getting married is of the utmost importance to you, and if she loves you, is it not feasible to think she should compromise for you?

Just my thoughts.

Peace

LDJ seems to be the most level headed in here. hasnt resulted in much name calling.

ksteezy... you REALLY are deadset on forcing your opinion on others. but you're view of marriage is positive, and that's dope. you gotta admit that some marriage just isnt socially viewed the same. you are actually a minorty in th america, fambs.

DC... good points, but you're name is kinda tainted. people are going to go against you  stongly.

truthgetbusy ... you my dude, but i gotta disagree w/ some stuff. although i dig about checkin under the hood for a test drive.

capricorn1229 is THE TROLL of the thread.... it seem like you tryin to get reaction, fambs... come on, now.

That posting about a housewife is so flawed and ill-informed and I have broke it down so many times and exposed it for what it is. First most of these studies are done by ppl who have no earthly idea what they talking about.


Child Care= First this stat is based on 24/7 days a week. Um unless the husband is someone who travels and is away from the home 24/7 this is flawed. Second most children attend some sort of daycare at one point of there life. And last time i checked kids eventually went to school. I could be wrong but I swore there was a law that required your kids to go to school. Average kid attends school 8-9 hrs a day so.... And the average child sleeps around 9hrs or so a day. So 6 hrs a day is hardly 24/7 Not to mention many kids play etc outside with friends watch tv.

Cook= Thats the going rate for a professional culinary artist who works in a 5 star restaurant. Lets be honest the average woman isnt cooking like rachael ray. And also the average family eats out 4 days out of the week. So thats hardly 7 days a week.

Dishwasher= This again is flawed. A professional one washes dishes on a 8-10hr shift. Unless you got like 100 kids. I seriously doubt your wife etc is washing dishes 8hrs straight. Also the average family is 4 ppl. What restuarant you know only averages 4 customers a day? Also most men/husband eat one meal at home. Same goes for the children. And thats dinner. The only person who is home and eating during the day etc is the wife. I dont know of too many restaurants, that will put a roof over its employees head, pay for the food they eat, and pay them to wash their on dishes.

Chauffer= This one is ridiculous. First they have to pay for their own gas, which this stat didnt factor in. Also they have to travel throughout various places and pick up numerous ppl all day. If you are the average 4 ppl family this doesnt apply. You could make the argument that you go pay bills etc. But the average person does that online so. And you could say grocery shopping. But you dont drive 8hrs nonstop everyday to get groceries, and who goes grocery shopping everyday. Also outside of picking up the kids and stopping past a fastfood etc to get dinner thats a one trip deal. And again a chauffer wouldnt get paid to go get the food, and get money to purchase the food. The average chauffer travels over 150 miles a day. No wife is driving 150+ miles a day running aarons for the family.

Maid= This one is probably the closest to be accurate. While there is some flaws ill let em have this one.

Rec Coordinator= This one contridicts the child care provider. Child care providers provide this service. Its apart of the job. What daycare/camp you every heard of that you have to pay them extra to provide activities/food for the kids? Also if the wife have the kids off in activities etc how can they be taking care of the kids 24/7 if the kids arent even in the home? You really arent caring for them/providing much for a child that isnt with you. And if you dont work then it is really the husband who is providing the service seeing as he is the one paying the outsource help to perform the activity.

Tutor=Most schools provide this. And whos to say all children need tutors. And whose to say every housewife knows about every subject that the school teaches. And this also makes the assumption that the father is clueless about the school curriculum, and that he has no interaction with the kids and isnt active in their childrens lives and their education.

Book-keeping= Many ppl nowadays do the budget/bills together.  Most couples discuss cost etc together. In this day in age its very few men who just come home drop off the check, and sit back and be clueless to where the money goes. Plus with online banking and billpay etc... You can check balances etc pay bills all from your pc and/or cell phone.



This whole article is based on some 1940's husband who basically worked handed the check to the woman, flopped in front of the tv, and is getting waited on hand and foot. Lets be real how many families are structured like this? How many woman really jump up to the snap for a man? Hell how many families in this day in age dont have a computer, dishwashers, washing machines, and a guy who isnt involved physically and emotionally in there kids life? How many men in this day and age are clueless about the bills? Hell how many women in this day in age cook 3 meals a day 7 days a week? And how many average woman cook on a 5 star level? How many woman detail clean the house from top to bottom everyday? Hell its women nowadays that wont even take out the garbage.

This sounds like one of those guys who makes a fairly decent to good amount of money, who has some sort of trophy wife, who doesnt have much to offer an employer outside the home, and has never really did work inside the home so he is just inflating the value because he has no clue whats going on.

Also this doesnt include the average family, in which there are two working adults. It also didnt factor in the comfort of being at home, nor did it factor that on a average job you have a schedule created by a boss, and you cant just stop rest/break as you please. Most jobs dont have a job you can rest on or a tv you can just kick back and watch as you please. Ive been to tons of 5 star restaurants and i never seen a tv in the back. So many factors they conviently left out.


    

 

[likethematrix]

Originally Posted by tizoni

Originally Posted by likethematrix

smh... you kids nowadays.

marry your *%%*% cause you love that *%%*% enough to fight someone for her and willing to give up half your $#$%.
and if you aint $!%%!# over atleast 50 *+!+%%% then how can you even give advice?
you havent had enough experience.
marriage is the real dedication. "im putting my money on the line for you %*$!+"

Its like signing a lease on a 150k car.

This.
 Look at your !!!%! in the eyes and if you see yourself being with that !!!%! and loving that !!!%! for the rest of your life then that !!!%! is for you. Just be careful what what kind of !!!%! you tryin to wife. Too many bad #%++#*+ out there you need to look for the right !!!%! that'll be the !!!%! that you can be with forever.

only smart guy in this whole tread.
some of yall are lost causes who are going to have SAD romantic lives

 

[likethematrix]

Originally Posted by tizoni

Originally Posted by likethematrix

smh... you kids nowadays.

marry your *%%*% cause you love that *%%*% enough to fight someone for her and willing to give up half your $#$%.
and if you aint $!%%!# over atleast 50 *+!+%%% then how can you even give advice?
you havent had enough experience.
marriage is the real dedication. "im putting my money on the line for you %*$!+"

Its like signing a lease on a 150k car.

This.
 Look at your !!!%! in the eyes and if you see yourself being with that !!!%! and loving that !!!%! for the rest of your life then that !!!%! is for you. Just be careful what what kind of !!!%! you tryin to wife. Too many bad #%++#*+ out there you need to look for the right !!!%! that'll be the !!!%! that you can be with forever.

only smart guy in this whole tread.
some of yall are lost causes who are going to have SAD romantic lives

 

[still1rise]

Originally Posted by bulletproofwallets

Originally Posted by MartianRefugee

i will re-iterate what i said before this debate has been over since it turned personal about 7 pages ago but still

basically, this thread shoud be /'d because pro-marriage got offended that someone could actually be happy unmarried, insinuating that their marriages/future marriages are/will be wastes of money and irrelevant. Then it resorted to personal attacks when they found out that LDJ is a human that makes/made mistakes and has a different lifestyle and mindset from them. Where the mods at? 

Pretty much. Debating on the internet ftl.

I Hope everyone finds their true happiness. Married, not married or whatever lifestyle you chose.



    

 

[still1rise]

Originally Posted by bulletproofwallets

Originally Posted by MartianRefugee

i will re-iterate what i said before this debate has been over since it turned personal about 7 pages ago but still

basically, this thread shoud be /'d because pro-marriage got offended that someone could actually be happy unmarried, insinuating that their marriages/future marriages are/will be wastes of money and irrelevant. Then it resorted to personal attacks when they found out that LDJ is a human that makes/made mistakes and has a different lifestyle and mindset from them. Where the mods at? 

Pretty much. Debating on the internet ftl.

I Hope everyone finds their true happiness. Married, not married or whatever lifestyle you chose.



    

 

[grittyman20]

Not going to read through all 17 pages of this, but I hate generalizations. To say that there are no benefits for men to get married is ridiculous, because lots of men do it and are completely happy with everything that comes along with it. Me personally, I'm pro-choice on just about everything. If two people want to join together in holy matrimony then I'm all for it, if a person wants to stay single for their entire life I'm all for that too...there's always going to be pros and cons in every decisions that we make.