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- Jun 24, 2007
I just got this from a friend in an email! Kinda long but still hilarious!

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 11.04am
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: R.S.V.P.
Dear Matthew,
Thank you for the party invite. At first glance I thought it may be a child's party what with it being vibrant and having balloons but I realize youprobably did your best with what little tools were available. I wouldn't miss it for the world. What time would you like me there?
Regards, David.
From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 3.48pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: R.S.V.P.
Hi David
Sorry the note was just to let you know that we might be a bit loud that night. The house warming is really just for friends and family but you can drop pastfor a beer if you like.
Cheers Matthew
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 5.41pm
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
Thanks Matthew,
Including me in your list of friends and family means a lot. You and I don't tend to have long discussions when we meet in the hallway and I plan to put astop to that. Next time we bump into each other I intend to have a very long conversation with you and I am sure you are looking forward to that as much as Iam. I have told my friend Ross that you are having a party and he is as excited as I am. Do you want us to bring anything or will everything be provided?
Regards, David.
From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 10.01am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
Hi David
As I said, my housewarming is just for friends and family. There is not a lot of room so cant really have to many people come. Sorry about that mate.
Cheers Matthew
From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 2.36pm
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
Dear Matthew,
I can appreciate that, our apartments are not very large are they? I myself like to go for a jog every night to keep fit but fear leaving the house so I haveto jog on the spot taking very small steps with my arms straight down. I understand the problems of space restrictions all too well. If you would like to storesome of your furniture at my place during the party you are quite welcome to - if we move your cane furniture into my spare room for the night and scattercushions on the ground, that would provide a lot more seating and create a cozy atmosphere at the same time. I have a mirror ball that you can borrow. I havetold Ross not to invite anyone else due to the space constraints so it will just be us two and my other friend Simon. When I told Simon that Ross and I weregoing to a party he became quite angry that I had not invited him as well so I really didn't have any choice as he can become quite violent. Sometimes I amafraid to even be in the same room as him. So just myself Ross and Simon. Simon's girlfriend has a work function on that night but might come along afterthat if she can get a lift with friends.
Regards, David.
From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 4.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
*!@? Nobody can come to the housewarming party it is just for friends and family. I don't even know these people. How do you know I have cane furniture?Are you the guy in apartment 1?
From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 6.12pm
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
Hi Matthew,
I understand it is an exclusive party and I appreciate you trusting my judgement on who to bring. I just assumed you have cane furniture, doesn'teverybody? Cane is possibly one of the most renewable natural resources we have after plastic, it is not only strong but lightweight and attractive. Every itemin my apartment is made of cane, including my television. It looks like the one from Gilligan's Island but is in colour of course. Do you remember thatepisode where a robot came to the island? That was the best one in my opinion. I always preferred Mary Anne to Ginger, same with Flintstones - I found Bettymuch more attractive than Wilma but then I am not really keen on redheads at all. They have freckles all over their body did you know? It's the ones ontheir back and shoulders that creep me out the most.
Anyway, Ross rang me today all excited about the party and asked me what the theme is, I told him that I don't think there is a theme and we discussed itand feel that it should be an eighties themed party. I have a white suit and projector and am coming as Nick Kershaw. I have made a looping tape of'wouldn't it be good' to play as I am sure you will agree that this song rocks and has stood the test of time well. I am in the process ofredesigning your invites appropriately and will get a few hundred of them printed off later today. I will have to ask you for the money for this as printcartridges for my Epson are pretty expensive. They stopped making this model a month after I bought it and I have to get the cartridges sent from China. Around$120 should cover it. You can just pop the money in my letter box if I don't see you before tonight.
Regards, David.
From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Wednesday 10 Dec 2008 11.06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
What the *!#$ are you talking about? There is no theme for the party it is just a few friends and family. No one else can come IT IS ONLY FOR MY FRIENDS ANDFAMILY do you understand? Do not print anything out because I am not paying for something I don't need and didn't ask you to do! look I am sorry but Iam heaps busy and that night is not convenient. Are you in Apatrment1?
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 11 Dec 2008 9.15am
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
Hello Matthew,
I agree that it is not very convenient and must admit that when I first received your invitation I was perplexed that it was on a Sunday night but who am I tojudge. No, I am in apartment 3B. Our bedroom walls are touching so when we are sleeping our heads are only a few feet apart. If I put my ear to the wall I canhear you. I also agree with you that having a particular theme for your party may not be the best choice, it makes more sense to leave it open as a genericfancy dress party, that way everyone can come dressed in whatever they want. Once, I went to a party in a bear outfit which worked out well as it was freezingand I was the only one warm. As it won't be cold the night of your party, I have decided to come as a Ninja. I think it would be really good if you dressedas a ninja as well and we could perform a martial arts display for the other guests. I have real swords and will bring them. If you need help with your costumelet me know, I have made mine by wrapping a black t-shirt around my face with a hooded jacket and cut finger holes in black socks for the gloves. I do not haveany black pants so will spray paint my legs on the night.
It is a little hard to breath in the costume so I will need you to keep the window open during the party to provide good air circulation. Actually, I just hada thought, how awesome would it be if I arrived 'through' the window like a real ninja. We should definitely do that. I just measured the distancebetween our balconies and I should be able to jump it. I once leaped across a creek that was over five metres wide and almost made it.
Also, you mentioned in your invitation that if there was anything I needed, to let you know. My car is going in for a service next week and I was wondering,seeing as we are good friends now, if it would be ok to borrow yours on that day. I hate catching the bus as they are full of poor people who don't owncars.
Regards, David.
From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Thursday 11 Dec 2008 3.02pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
*!@? No you cant borrow my car and there is no *&%$@#! 3B. I reckon you are that guy from Apartment 1. You are not coming to my house warming and you arenot bringing any of your friends. What the #^@% is wrong with you??? The only people invited are friends and family I told you that. It is just drinks there isno @#*$&^* fancy dress and only people i know are coming! I don't want to be rude but jesus #*^&!% christ man.
From: David Thorne
Date: Sunday 14 Dec 2008 2.04am
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Party
Hello Matthew,
I have been away since Thursday so have not been able to check my email from home. Flying back late today in time for the party and just wanted to say that weare really looking forward to it. Will probably get there around eleven or twelve, just when it starts to liven up. Simon's girlfriend Cathy's workfunction was cancelled so she can make it afterall which is good news. She will probably have a few friends with her so they will take the mini van. Also, Ihave arranged a Piñata.
Can't wait, see you tonight.
Regards, David.
EDIT: Spider one on page 2

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 11.04am
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: R.S.V.P.
Dear Matthew,
Thank you for the party invite. At first glance I thought it may be a child's party what with it being vibrant and having balloons but I realize youprobably did your best with what little tools were available. I wouldn't miss it for the world. What time would you like me there?
Regards, David.
From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 3.48pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: R.S.V.P.
Hi David
Sorry the note was just to let you know that we might be a bit loud that night. The house warming is really just for friends and family but you can drop pastfor a beer if you like.
Cheers Matthew
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 5.41pm
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
Thanks Matthew,
Including me in your list of friends and family means a lot. You and I don't tend to have long discussions when we meet in the hallway and I plan to put astop to that. Next time we bump into each other I intend to have a very long conversation with you and I am sure you are looking forward to that as much as Iam. I have told my friend Ross that you are having a party and he is as excited as I am. Do you want us to bring anything or will everything be provided?
Regards, David.
From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 10.01am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
Hi David
As I said, my housewarming is just for friends and family. There is not a lot of room so cant really have to many people come. Sorry about that mate.
Cheers Matthew
From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 2.36pm
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
Dear Matthew,
I can appreciate that, our apartments are not very large are they? I myself like to go for a jog every night to keep fit but fear leaving the house so I haveto jog on the spot taking very small steps with my arms straight down. I understand the problems of space restrictions all too well. If you would like to storesome of your furniture at my place during the party you are quite welcome to - if we move your cane furniture into my spare room for the night and scattercushions on the ground, that would provide a lot more seating and create a cozy atmosphere at the same time. I have a mirror ball that you can borrow. I havetold Ross not to invite anyone else due to the space constraints so it will just be us two and my other friend Simon. When I told Simon that Ross and I weregoing to a party he became quite angry that I had not invited him as well so I really didn't have any choice as he can become quite violent. Sometimes I amafraid to even be in the same room as him. So just myself Ross and Simon. Simon's girlfriend has a work function on that night but might come along afterthat if she can get a lift with friends.
Regards, David.
From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 4.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
*!@? Nobody can come to the housewarming party it is just for friends and family. I don't even know these people. How do you know I have cane furniture?Are you the guy in apartment 1?
From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 6.12pm
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
Hi Matthew,
I understand it is an exclusive party and I appreciate you trusting my judgement on who to bring. I just assumed you have cane furniture, doesn'teverybody? Cane is possibly one of the most renewable natural resources we have after plastic, it is not only strong but lightweight and attractive. Every itemin my apartment is made of cane, including my television. It looks like the one from Gilligan's Island but is in colour of course. Do you remember thatepisode where a robot came to the island? That was the best one in my opinion. I always preferred Mary Anne to Ginger, same with Flintstones - I found Bettymuch more attractive than Wilma but then I am not really keen on redheads at all. They have freckles all over their body did you know? It's the ones ontheir back and shoulders that creep me out the most.
Anyway, Ross rang me today all excited about the party and asked me what the theme is, I told him that I don't think there is a theme and we discussed itand feel that it should be an eighties themed party. I have a white suit and projector and am coming as Nick Kershaw. I have made a looping tape of'wouldn't it be good' to play as I am sure you will agree that this song rocks and has stood the test of time well. I am in the process ofredesigning your invites appropriately and will get a few hundred of them printed off later today. I will have to ask you for the money for this as printcartridges for my Epson are pretty expensive. They stopped making this model a month after I bought it and I have to get the cartridges sent from China. Around$120 should cover it. You can just pop the money in my letter box if I don't see you before tonight.
Regards, David.
From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Wednesday 10 Dec 2008 11.06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
What the *!#$ are you talking about? There is no theme for the party it is just a few friends and family. No one else can come IT IS ONLY FOR MY FRIENDS ANDFAMILY do you understand? Do not print anything out because I am not paying for something I don't need and didn't ask you to do! look I am sorry but Iam heaps busy and that night is not convenient. Are you in Apatrment1?
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 11 Dec 2008 9.15am
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
Hello Matthew,
I agree that it is not very convenient and must admit that when I first received your invitation I was perplexed that it was on a Sunday night but who am I tojudge. No, I am in apartment 3B. Our bedroom walls are touching so when we are sleeping our heads are only a few feet apart. If I put my ear to the wall I canhear you. I also agree with you that having a particular theme for your party may not be the best choice, it makes more sense to leave it open as a genericfancy dress party, that way everyone can come dressed in whatever they want. Once, I went to a party in a bear outfit which worked out well as it was freezingand I was the only one warm. As it won't be cold the night of your party, I have decided to come as a Ninja. I think it would be really good if you dressedas a ninja as well and we could perform a martial arts display for the other guests. I have real swords and will bring them. If you need help with your costumelet me know, I have made mine by wrapping a black t-shirt around my face with a hooded jacket and cut finger holes in black socks for the gloves. I do not haveany black pants so will spray paint my legs on the night.
It is a little hard to breath in the costume so I will need you to keep the window open during the party to provide good air circulation. Actually, I just hada thought, how awesome would it be if I arrived 'through' the window like a real ninja. We should definitely do that. I just measured the distancebetween our balconies and I should be able to jump it. I once leaped across a creek that was over five metres wide and almost made it.
Also, you mentioned in your invitation that if there was anything I needed, to let you know. My car is going in for a service next week and I was wondering,seeing as we are good friends now, if it would be ok to borrow yours on that day. I hate catching the bus as they are full of poor people who don't owncars.
Regards, David.
From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Thursday 11 Dec 2008 3.02pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
*!@? No you cant borrow my car and there is no *&%$@#! 3B. I reckon you are that guy from Apartment 1. You are not coming to my house warming and you arenot bringing any of your friends. What the #^@% is wrong with you??? The only people invited are friends and family I told you that. It is just drinks there isno @#*$&^* fancy dress and only people i know are coming! I don't want to be rude but jesus #*^&!% christ man.
From: David Thorne
Date: Sunday 14 Dec 2008 2.04am
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Party
Hello Matthew,
I have been away since Thursday so have not been able to check my email from home. Flying back late today in time for the party and just wanted to say that weare really looking forward to it. Will probably get there around eleven or twelve, just when it starts to liven up. Simon's girlfriend Cathy's workfunction was cancelled so she can make it afterall which is good news. She will probably have a few friends with her so they will take the mini van. Also, Ihave arranged a Piñata.
Can't wait, see you tonight.
Regards, David.
EDIT: Spider one on page 2
