Give up or never give it a chance. Semantics.
What's your reason for never wanting it? And were your children planned with your children's mothers with the understanding of how you would raise them? I'm not asking that in doubt or sarcastically but just out of general curiosity because you mentioned it. You don't have to answer if that's too personal, I'm not trying to offend you. I said I don't think people should have children if they're not dedicated to providing everything they can for them which most importantly includes love. If you are, it doesn't apply to you.
I asked a general question of those who think it's common for children with unwed parents to grow up with healthy parenting. Those who are quick to quote divorce statistics as a reason for not getting married yet still having children out of wedlock as if it's automatic that children whose parents divorce are worse off. I'm not questioning whether divorce can often create an unhealthy environment for a child but is having unwed parents any better? I realize that SOME unwed parents can remain civil and friends or just good parents but let's be realistic. Use the quoted even number of the divorce rate being 50% and the general idea presented that divorce is unfair to a child so just avoid it...do you realistically think that greater than 50% of unwed parents have healthy relationships AND provide positive environment that will not have any negative effects on a child.
I said it wasn't directed towards you, once again I'm not trying to judge you as a person because I know nothing about you and it's great if you're in your children's lives. I don't doubt that for a second. I'm questioning the idea as a whole that it's
better to just avoid marriage altogether and just have baby mommas as if that is somehow a more positive situation for a child. That's ridiculous. It may be better for the parent (in this case the man, like Ninjahood whose valuable assets ie. sneakers could get unfairly taken from him in a divorce) but the reality it is that most likely doesn't work as planned and instead the child is either pulled in different directions or lacks one figure or both in their life when it's needed.
No, I don't have statistics but neither do those that are implying that unwed parenting is a better situation like they don't frequently end up as simply single-parent households with a check (supposed to be) coming in instead. Once again, not saying all but the idea that people can just have a child with a woman they're in no way committed to and everything is just smooth sailing from there and more importantly completely fine for the child is ridiculous. Holding that view is as an ideal is absurd. And seriously...you're bringing up Scandinavian countries?
As if their societies are anything like America's to compare, once American principles are anything near that of Scandinavia, I'll consider that as relative.
