Lol what did I say about Tyrone! Y'all just don't know. Tried to tell yall
That's what you think is right but it doesn't mean others are wrong by not following your guidelines. I don't need to be together with either of my kids moms for them to be alright, they're more than good and I'd be willing to bet will become more successful than most of their peers regardless of what arrangements they come from.
I had to be shrewd to be a self made millionaire in my 20s as a black man from the hood. I have a son and daughter with two women that share my mindset of doing raising our kids collectively with their family and my family. We all work very hard so more important then the nice things we buy them, they're well prepared to become independent and succeed in this capitalistic society one day. Like I said earlier, both my parents are still married to this day for over 30 years. The first few years of my life was tough, we were poor at that time since my parents didn't make much money with 3 kids and we lived in a small house in the hood. It wasn't til years later when my pops got into the Fire Dept. and started a business on the side working extremely long hours between both that things started to get better for us and we moved out to a bigger house in a nicer area. I have so much respect for my pops putting in that hard work for us to this day. I've been putting in this work and will continue to do so for both my kids to get the best education/training/exposure/experiences I can possibly provide them along with their moms.
I never wanted to get married because I'm not for the institution of marriage not because I was giving up on it, can't give up something you never wanted. Do you have statistics on unwed parents relationships with their children? If you don't then I don't see how you can provide any facts on that. Who are you to set universal standards? You do realize that there were societies throughout time in history where the majority of children didn't have your idea of arrangement growing up right? You might as well say the majority of people in Sweden, Iceland, Norway, Finland, Denmark etc. are doing it all wrong than since they have an extremely high rate of unwed parents there.
As if their societies are anything like America's to compare, once American principles are anything near that of Scandinavia, I'll consider that as relative.
Give up or never give it a chance. Semantics.
What's your reason for never wanting it? And were your children planned with your children's mothers with the understanding of how you would raise them? I'm not asking that in doubt or sarcastically but just out of general curiosity because you mentioned it. You don't have to answer if that's too personal, I'm not trying to offend you. I said I don't think people should have children if they're not dedicated to providing everything they can for them which most importantly includes love. If you are, it doesn't apply to you.
I asked a general question of those who think it's common for children with unwed parents to grow up with healthy parenting. Those who are quick to quote divorce statistics as a reason for not getting married yet still having children out of wedlock as if it's automatic that children whose parents divorce are worse off. I'm not questioning whether divorce can often create an unhealthy environment for a child but is having unwed parents any better? I realize that SOME unwed parents can remain civil and friends or just good parents but let's be realistic. Use the quoted even number of the divorce rate being 50% and the general idea presented that divorce is unfair to a child so just avoid it...do you realistically think that greater than 50% of unwed parents have healthy relationships AND provide positive environment that will not have any negative effects on a child.
I said it wasn't directed towards you, once again I'm not trying to judge you as a person because I know nothing about you and it's great if you're in your children's lives. I don't doubt that for a second. I'm questioning the idea as a whole that it's better to just avoid marriage altogether and just have baby mommas as if that is somehow a more positive situation for a child. That's ridiculous. It may be better for the parent (in this case the man, like Ninjahood whose valuable assets ie. sneakers could get unfairly taken from him in a divorce) but the reality it is that most likely doesn't work as planned and instead the child is either pulled in different directions or lacks one figure or both in their life when it's needed.
No, I don't have statistics but neither do those that are implying that unwed parenting is a better situation like they don't frequently end up as simply single-parent households with a check (supposed to be) coming in instead. Once again, not saying all but the idea that people can just have a child with a woman they're in no way committed to and everything is just smooth sailing from there and more importantly completely fine for the child is ridiculous. Holding that view is as an ideal is absurd. And seriously...you're bringing up Scandinavian countries?
None, and that can be done without marriage. Marriage is not a requirement to have a home together.
