what are the benefits for a man to get married?

[ninjahood]

 

 
marriage used to be about enhancing eachother, now its basically like a time bomb and you just sleeping with da enemy.

I believe that is because you and alot of other dudes on here have allowed yourselves to believe that there aren't any good woman out here...............which there are.  The problem is most dudes are looking in the wrong places or attracting the wrong women from the get go, hence why I said for example you are what you attract. 

My point in asking that question whether that be directed to you or anyone else out here that as a man if you are seriously thinking about wanting a child and plan on having one, I think for various reasons that you should think about marriage and more importantly find the right woman to settle down with a raise a family.

looking for a baby mother is more important than looking for a wife, those terms aren't mutually exclusive to eachother,

especially in 2013. worst come to worst

i rather knock up a broad that i know would be a good mother VS looking for a "wifey material" because sharing a child IS permanent, marriage

isn't.

 

[younghollywood]

When I said carrying themselves like they are suppose to, that meant carrying themselves in a respectable way. There's no such thing?

respectable just means regarded by society to be proper.  But we all know that varies depending on where you are, what culture you're apart of and many other factors.  On top of that, you have people that don't like to conform to societal norms.  I'm just saying it's subjective because every man looks for something different.  This not objective like 1+1=2

 

[heliumclinton]

looking for a baby mother is more important than looking for a wife, those terms aren't mutually exclusive to eachother,

especially in 2013. worst come to worst

i rather knock up a broad that i know would be a good mother VS looking for a "wifey material" because sharing a child IS permanent, marriage

isn't.

you have the ghettoest mentality your baby mother should be your wife, I'm outta here

 

[ninjahood]

 

looking for a baby mother is more important than looking for a wife, those terms aren't mutually exclusive to eachother,

especially in 2013. worst come to worst

i rather knock up a broad that i know would be a good mother VS looking for a "wifey material" because sharing a child IS permanent, marriage

isn't.

you have the ghettoest mentality

your baby mother should be your wife,

I'm outta here

oh yeah? how's that been working out lately.....

 

[sundoobie]

So what you are telling me is that you'll let this episode define the rest of your life and surely won't be able to move on from it?...ironically ya claim dudes that marry somehow lack character, when in fact you dudes can't seem to accept the realities of life...we are human, we are selfish by nature, we will hurt each other, but time heals you get back up and try again....how about you lose your spouse in an accident?...does that tragedy scar you so bad you can no longer find love again down the line?....I mean bros...tap yourself in the balls and see if it hurts for Gods sake.

A failed marriage and your 2 kids taken away from you WOULDN"T define the rest of your life? Are you serious? I agree that with any breakup, you will eventually heal however after a failed marriage and your bank account drained, your perspective of love and marriage will have changed.

Your question in regards to what if your spouse dies in an accident, would that tragedy scar you so bad that you won't find love again? I mean it all depends. If she was the love of my life, it would be extremely hard but yes eventually I would probably find someone else however I doubt it will be the same type of relationship or love. Plus this example is different in comparison to the love of your life wanting out because her passing away was an accident and NOT a choice.

All I am trying to say is we all live and grew up on this planet differently. What I have experienced, you havn't, and vice versa. Yes I agree that traditional marriage can be great and fantastic for some but for others it's not especially to those that have experienced failed relationships where they have been lied to, or cheated on.

 

[ksteezy]

looking for a baby mother is more important than looking for a wife, those terms aren't mutually exclusive to eachother,

especially in 2013. worst come to worst

i rather knock up a broad that i know would be a good mother VS looking for a "wifey material" because sharing a child IS permanent, marriage

isn't.

Backwards a** mentality, the reason this world is filled with halftime dads....do yourself a favor and don't go out looking for a "baby momma" bro.

Marriage aside, the fact that dudes are scouting for someone to reproduce with rather than someone they can potentially build a foundation with first then think of a child and take it from there, irritates the ***** out of me, ya don't have to believe in marriage, ya don't have to get married, but if a kid is what ya planned on bringing to this world, do it with someone you are willing to make that long term commitment with, not someone who at the slightest of adversity you'll call it quits with little regards to the emotional stress you'll put your child through, having your child learn to love another man as a stepdad, etc....that **** ain't wassup.

 

[deuce king]

 

 

 
marriage used to be about enhancing eachother, now its basically like a time bomb and you just sleeping with da enemy.

I believe that is because you and alot of other dudes on here have allowed yourselves to believe that there aren't any good woman out here...............which there are.  The problem is most dudes are looking in the wrong places or attracting the wrong women from the get go, hence why I said for example you are what you attract. 

My point in asking that question whether that be directed to you or anyone else out here that as a man if you are seriously thinking about wanting a child and plan on having one, I think for various reasons that you should think about marriage and more importantly find the right woman to settle down with a raise a family.

looking for a baby mother is more important than looking for a wife, those terms aren't mutually exclusive to eachother,

especially in 2013. worst come to worst

i rather knock up a broad that i know would be a good mother VS looking for a "wifey material" because sharing a child IS permanent, marriage

isn't.

Thus the cycle of a broken family continues possibly.  That's exactly why I asked that question.  For me personally, I would never want to have another dude around my child or children, in that regard if I had one if I could avoid it.  Meaning I would never want just a baby momma, because that baby momma would then possibly get with another dude late on in life if we weren't together, and now someone else is around or raising my child for me when I'm not around.  Not a great scenario for the child to be apart of.    

 

[rustlenomics]

 

[ksteezy]

A failed marriage and your 2 kids taken away from you WOULDN"T define the rest of your life? Are you serious? I agree that with any breakup, you will eventually heal however after a failed marriage and your bank account drained, your perspective of love and marriage will have changed.

Your question in regards to what if your spouse dies in an accident, would that tragedy scar you so bad that you won't find love again? I mean it all depends. If she was the love of my life, it would be extremely hard but yes eventually I would probably find someone else however I doubt it will be the same type of relationship or love. Plus this example is different in comparison to the love of your life wanting out because her passing away was an accident and NOT a choice.

All I am trying to say is we all live and grew up on this planet differently. What I have experienced, you havn't, and vice versa. Yes I agree that traditional marriage can be great and fantastic for some but for others it's not especially to those that have experienced failed relationships where they have been lied to, or cheated on.

So what do you suggest?...commit suicide?...live the rest of your life sheltered in a room??...go out and murder women because of 1 women did to you?...

You work at a job for 20 years, at the end you get laid off with no benefits or nothing, just plain cut....do you cry yourself to sleep or put your big boy pants on and push forward??...c'mon son.

 

[ninjahood]

 

looking for a baby mother is more important than looking for a wife, those terms aren't mutually exclusive to eachother,

especially in 2013. worst come to worst

i rather knock up a broad that i know would be a good mother VS looking for a "wifey material" because sharing a child IS permanent, marriage

isn't.

Backwards a** mentality, the reason this world is filled with halftime dads....do yourself a favor and don't go out looking for a "baby momma" bro.

Marriage aside, the fact that dudes are scouting for someone to reproduce with rather than someone they can potentially build a foundation with first then think of a child and take it from there, irritates the ***** out of me, ya don't have to believe in marriage, ya don't have to get married, but if a kid is what ya planned on bringing to this world, do it with someone you are willing to make that long term commitment with, not someone who at the slightest of adversity you'll call it quits with little regards to the emotional stress you'll put your child through, having your child learn to love another man as a stepdad, etc....that **** ain't wassup.

son you acting marriage hasn't been on its last legs in da past 15 years, you yourself said "im one of da few guys my age who's married"

stop thinking your results are typical, they not...FAAAR from it.

a baby mother is gonna be your permanent partner whether you married or not, that's something you should find as a priority (if you tryin to have kids)

and who said im into single broads with kids?

most of chicks my age are exactly that. sad but true.

 

[thadoctadvocate]

Ksteezy can you find me a wife? Srs

 

[hugheyfreeman]

So what do you suggest?...commit suicide?...live the rest of your life sheltered in a room??...go out and murder women because of 1 women did to you?...

You work at a job for 20 years, at the end you get laid off with no benefits or nothing, just plain cut....do you cry yourself to sleep or put your big boy pants on and push forward??...c'mon son.

Oooooo he called you son.

 

[jaypesoz]

Getting married myself in 60 days, I'm pumped

 

[heliumclinton]

Dude really already planning to set out for a baby mother instead of wife. Planning not to build a stable family lifestyle that he was raised in and supposedly is the reason for his lavish mentality of the world I can't

 

[sea manup]

Getting married myself in 60 days, I'm pumped

congrats!!

 

[do work son]

people don't just "fall out of love with each other". if you're being honest with yourself, it's probably because you started letting things slide that you weren't ok with, just never said anything about and eventually it becomes too much. if you keep it 100 with your woman and she does the same, you'll be good.

 

[ninjahood]

Dude really already planning to set out for a baby mother instead of wife. Planning not to build a stable family lifestyle that he was raised in and supposedly is the reason for his lavish mentality of the world

I can't

its called you evolve with your environment, da VAST majoirty of people aren't getting married, and da ones that do, over 50% of them end in divorce.

having kids isn't something thats going away though, so you prepare for something thats permanent vs da crumbling institution of marriage.

 

[ksteezy]

son you acting marriage hasn't been on its last legs in da past 15 years, you yourself said "im one of da few guys my age who's married"

stop thinking your results are typical, they not...FAAAR from it.

a baby mother is gonna be your permanent partner whether you married or not, that's something you should find as a priority (if you tryin to have kids)

and who said im into single broads with kids? most of chicks my age are exactly that. sad but true.

So how does it sit in your conscious when you scout a babymomma, reproduce...maybe have a relationship with her for the next 4 years, then boom something happens and since you are not married ya just walk away from the commitment clean, since she's a great mother, chances are she keeps the kid and chances are you like it that way, then here comes a man wired the complete opposite of you, married your babymomma, leads a happy life with her and decides to move your babymomma and your baby to another state as if you matter NOTHING in their decision?...lulz

Don't have kids, don't commit, just care for yourself, you are just a family tragedy waiting to happen with that mentality.

 

[jaypesoz]

congrats!!

Thanks. It's crazy how so many people have such a negative or "realistic" view on marriage and I think that's part of the reason marriages don't last. Not even when I was in my early twenties and single did I ever think I'd be against it as much as people here seem to be but oh well...It's always entertaining reading Ninja argue that the sky's green

 

[ninjahood]

 

son you acting marriage hasn't been on its last legs in da past 15 years, you yourself said "im one of da few guys my age who's married"

stop thinking your results are typical, they not...FAAAR from it.

a baby mother is gonna be your permanent partner whether you married or not, that's something you should find as a priority (if you tryin to have kids)

and who said im into single broads with kids?

most of chicks my age are exactly that. sad but true.

So how does it sit in your conscious when you scout a babymomma, reproduce...maybe have a relationship with her for the next 4 years, then boom something happens and since you are not married ya just walk away from the commitment clean, since she's a great mother, chances are she keeps the kid and chances are you like it that way, then here comes a man wired the complete opposite of you, married your babymomma, leads a happy life with her and decides to move your babymomma and your baby to another state as if you matter NOTHING in their decision?...lulz

Don't have kids, don't commit, just care for yourself, you are just a family tragedy waiting to happen with that mentality.

whoa, had to stop you right there. once you have a kid with a chick there's no such thing as "walking away from da commitment clean"

and that scenario you just laid out can (and usually does happen) to married couples, so please tell me how does being married change that?

ill tell you how, everything you said, PLUS you losing your house and 1/2 your finances.

 

[hennessy]

whoa, had to stop you right there. once you have a kid with a chick there's no such thing as "walking away from da commitment clean"

and that scenario you just laid out can (and usually does happen) to married couples, so please tell me how does being married change that?

ill tell you how, everything you said, PLUS you losing your house and 1/2 your finances.

That's why we've been saying marriage takes work and commitment.

Because if you pick the right one and work through the kinks you will never have to worry about your child calling another man "dad" over you.

Women almost always get custody and if the marriage wasn't formed on a strong foundation an ends badly then the ex-wife is going to manipulate your kids to hate you, love someone else who she sees as a fitting father, AND keep you far away as possible.

You struck through the most important part of ksteezys post. So just don't stop him there...look at the big picture. It's much bigger than you, baby mother, and baby.

 

[sundoobie]

So what do you suggest?...commit suicide?...live the rest of your life sheltered in a room??...go out and murder women because of 1 women did to you?...

You work at a job for 20 years, at the end you get laid off with no benefits or nothing, just plain cut....do you cry yourself to sleep or put your big boy pants on and push forward??...c'mon son.

What's funny is that all your examples are actually the TRUTH! For some weak minded individuals.. yes they commit suicide after a failed marriage. Some dudes get old, fat and ugly and lose their confidence once they get married/have kids so I wouldn't doubt it if after a divorce, they end up living a life of solitude and end up watching porn all day/night. Murder? Yeah I could see that also... I mean I dated a female once and she had a restraining order against her ex husband who was stalking her.

I mean just for example and NO DISRESPECT... What if your wife is banging "Tyrone" on the side and eventually divorces you cause "Tyrone" was able to get her pregnant and you can't? Are you're telling us that you would just heal, and then easily find another woman to have a relationship with and marry again? A romantic sensitive cat like you would probably be devastated and would have the Great Wall of China protecting your heart if that ever happened.

 

[sea manup]

wait how is "being a good mother" not one of the most important factors for a woman to be wifey material? this might be the main problem

 

[wr]

What's funny is that all your examples are actually the TRUTH! For some weak minded individuals.. yes they commit suicide after a failed marriage. Some dudes get old, fat and ugly and lose their confidence once they get married/have kids so I wouldn't doubt it if after a divorce, they end up living a life of solitude and end up watching porn all day/night. Murder? Yeah I could see that also... I mean I dated a female once and she had a restraining order against her ex husband who was stalking her.

I mean just for example and NO DISRESPECT... What if your wife is banging "Tyrone" on the side and eventually divorces you cause "Tyrone" was able to get her pregnant and you can't? Are you're telling us that you would just heal, and then easily find another woman to have a relationship with and marry again? A romantic sensitive cat like you would probably be devastated and would have the Great Wall of China protecting your heart if that ever happened.

yep. as humans we are emotional. you lie to yourself when you say none of this will affect you and you can go on with your life.

Maybe this entire generation and our sentiments toward marriage are the result of hurt and pain.

It may take a generation or two to get back into wanting marriage like that.

 

[ksteezy]

whoa, had to stop you right there. once you have a kid with a chick there's no such thing as "walking away from da commitment clean"

and that scenario you just laid out can (and usually does happen) to married couples, so please tell me how does being married change that?

ill tell you how, everything you said, PLUS you losing your house and 1/2 your finances.

I'll tell you how, you take some years getting to know your mate, know that this is who ideally you wanna end up with work on that FOUNDATION then when kids come into the picture, that foundation is strong enough to hopefully get you through parenthood....no guarantees regardless but I don't know how your idea of parading in your hood, picking out the highest ranking bird, getting her pregnant and bringing a child into a relationship with little to no foundation can be any better.