Why Are So Many Successful Black Women Unmarried?

[dublbagn]

1. If you only want to consume product A (in this case black males) and the supply of product A is in slim supply then you will have a harder time getting saidproduct

2. If I said I only wanted certain physical traits in a women (along the lines of what the only lady was "expecting" in height) I would be a pig....

Ladies in general need to make up their minds, we as men have done it for a long time now. Either get the physical things you want and dont get the educationor income req's you are looking for. Or, settle for an average dude with deeper pockets......As time and experience has taught us all, deeper pockets andstatus will get you further than a nickle and good looks........

 

[thytkerjobs]

this thread has me chuckling. ohhh niketalk. <3

 

[jimmybeanz]

Originally Posted by kix4kix

Originally Posted by jimmybeanz

Originally Posted by kix4kix

Black women in general are an enigma. They want a good man, but at the time they want it, they usually have already passed up 5 good men.. How many black women in this thread alone have passed up the straight and arrow dude, for the cat who is sideways. I am not in here to point fingers, but the single life is made for men. We are designed to talk to several potential mates and if one suits us, we settle. Woman on the other hand tend to hold out for that ONE. There is nothing wrong with this, except for the fact that when she finds the one, usually women aint ready, nor are capable of the relationship needed to keep said man. In turn, they lose the few potential suitors that she is willing to accept in the process of her own issues/life...ect... We (men) can afford to lose such females because well, quite frankly we are pretty shallow.

Why are black women not married? Because they are not the choosers, and they need to stop acting like they are.

If you said this around some of the black chicks I know, you would get whupped.

Not saying that I disagree with you or anything.

me too, which is why I just stopped having these discussions with my black homegirls. It proved to be a big waste of time. Sure women are the choosers in the sense that they have to approve of a mate, but the numbers are clearly not in their favor, and they need to stop acting like they are.

Agreed. I stopped trying to put my female friends on to game as well. They don't freakin listen. And I'd bet you money that of those 4chicks in the video, no more than 1 of them actually took what Steve Harvey said into consideration.

 

[blackmagnus514]

2. If I said I only wanted certain physical traits in a women (along the lines of what the only lady was "expecting" in height) I would be a pig....

Ladies in general need to make up their minds, we as men have done it for a long time now.
AMEN. Guys, we may be shallow and all that...but at least we know what we want.

 

[ubuibeme]

Originally Posted by ninjahood

i heard in atlanta da men are so outnumbered by women that they actually holla at u......

I've heard this sooo many times...

NT Summit in ATL during the summer?

 

[airmissionretro]

The Atlanta social/dating scene has died down in terms of quality considerably. After 2000, the quality as far as dating has plummeted....

ATL in the 90s > ATL in the 2000s


No hate but, If you're from out-of-town, you definitely have the advantage (hence, the reason why a huge number of females down here come pursuig YOU).Here it's like Black Hollywood---you either in pro sports, in entertainment, or you're some pseudo-entreprenuer with somewhat of a name. The number ofblack male professionals (doctors, lawyers, etc.) here are LOW. Don't get me wrong, Atlanta has quality, but you have to do some serious filtering, whichwill take some serious time to find someone though, as far as settling down.


So on that note....do like they say...sometimes its best to take the show on the road and get your campaign on....If It ain't happening in one city, go tonext...point blank.

 

[dirtylicious]

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

So for all this talk of averages and the numbers games and this OPTIONS talk that ya'll have you collectively reached that is the consensus it is true you don't have to be a successful black women and that's fine, your life, but when will you feel like you can actually settle down with somebody?

Why does it seem like men are so scared of getting to know one female these days? The *#@%? When did that go out style? Why do yall think money and success will rub your back in the night? Yeah you can date around...yall are the ones that have the options(I'm humoring for arguments sake) but like what happens when you meet a woman you are feeling and she isn't like the women in the video that yall are crying over that have the unrealistic high standards? She is a down to earth chick who doesn't expect much of you( ) and is loyal and would a good mother and a good wife?


What then? Should she just be expected to wait for you? She is well traveled too and CAN COOK AND CLEAN. Her race is irrelevant at this point cause the way some of ya'll talking I just don't know. A good woman is a good woman.

Talked about this on my blog.

For me personally, options bring security. I remember being in college and dating this girl. Liked her a lot. Went outta my way. We werent BF/GF but it woulda gone there if she aint freeze up. Next thing, i go to chill with her and she's spending time with some next dude. After that, i learned to always have a backup.

Women are emotionally driven. If one day she's feeling me and the next day she's not, I'm not gonna be assed out because I invested ALL my time and affection on her. I just had a girl i was dating tell me "she wants to be alone" because she's going back to school. fine no harm, no foul. then i see her on FB talkin some ##% with another cat. Sure enough, i give her space and now she's back on my jock. Stuff like that is why I keep an ace in the hole...and if i dont have one, it sure seems like i always do. Women have that leeway and are the ones who choose mates. If thats what they are, we dudes have to be prepared for rejection and to keep it moving. I just do that by diversifying my options.

I would never expect a woman to wait for me, but if she does it's on her. I'm probably too upfront aboutmy dating stances nowadays but it's like women would rather than than being lied to..and thats an opportunity i wont pass up if it gets me what i want. I've had a lotta girls tell me how shocked they were that i aint got a girl...but i just like my freedom. i'm allowed that, no?

In life, options will make or break you. You have to realize that the days of our parents are LONG gone. It's averages. You meet 5 chicks, you aint gonna be compatible with all of em...so why not date around and see what you like AND get experience so if you do meet someone you like, you know what to do?

Curious..
do you keep in touch with those "backups?"
I ask...b/c do you really give it your all when pursuing a committed relationship if you have a backup handy?

I can understand being able to move on quickly...but to have a backup already in your pocket seems a bit disingenuous when it comes to pursing a realrelationship.

 

[thytkerjobs]

"backups" to me show signs of insecurity. i dont see why its so hard to just give your all to 1 person, and if things dont work its not the end ofthe world to be alone until someone else comes along. the need for a constant "somebody" in your life just show that you're incapable of beingalone at any point in time.

 

[blackmagnus514]

My stance is being honest and upfront. Girls ask me about a relationship. I cant predict the future so I just tell that that "we'll take it how itcomes and that whatever is gonna happen will happen". It's worked surprisingly well for me and i've been told that they like the honesty. no smokeand mirror.

i havent pursued a committed relationship with a woman since that incident in college. I simply like dating around because of the freedom. i personally feel ihavent given my all because i havent met a female for me to do so for. If i date around, I'll come up sooner or later. It's a number game Dirt. If isettled for every/any girl that came across my path, i'd have baggage and other undesirable traits. PLUS, I'm an entrepreneur and girl problems are nota problem i can afford. Sure, it's shallow to want things on MY time and MY convenience, but i'm very relaxed. I dont lie or put a "gun to theirheads" about it. We're all adults and know what time it is.

If i meet a girl and end up committed, i would keep it 100. she'd have to be the best option and the flyest girl for me to cut off any other girl....andthat's something I KNOW i'm not mentally ready for.

I dont see the big deal if there's honesty. No girl can ever be mad at me if they try to change me and it "backfires". I told you from jumpwe'll take it how it comes and i reserve the right to not be committed.

"backups" to me show signs of insecurity.

Options rule the world my dear. Leverage.

 

[dirtylicious]

understandable.....I don't see a problem with "dating around" not one bit
You, or anyone else, shouldn't settle for less if you think you deserve more.

but I think there's a difference to dating around vs. when you trying to pursue a REAL relationship....to have a backup in hand just in case it doesn'twork out.

 

[capricorn1229]

What's wrong with a woman wanting a stability like how you said you wanted loyalty. You can be honest all you want but if a chick came at you the same wayon some "I'm attracted to your status so I'll play my position for now" how would that make you feel and would you respect her for her gohard attitude about handling hers? You are banking on the fact that you are moving up in the world but status can BE lost so very very quickly.

You live how you live though. Like you said there is no smoke and mirrors with you.

 

[blackmagnus514]

but I think there's a difference to dating around vs. when you trying to pursue a REAL relationship....to have a backup in hand just in case it doesn't work out.
like I said on my blog, sometimes my backup is my hustle. i'm a workaholic. It just so happens that i hate being assed out when i like someoneand it doesnt work out and I spent time,$ and emotions on this person. I'm a bit of a workaholic+party animal when i want to be and i'm always meetingpeople....I cant help that....girls knock it...but its not like they dont know what time it is.

What's wrong with a woman wanting a stability like how you said you wanted loyalty. You can be honest all you want but if a chick came at you the same way on some "I'm attracted to your status so I'll play my position for now" how would that make you feel and would you respect her for her go hard attitude about handling hers? You are banking on the fact that you are moving up in the world but status can BE lost so very very quickly.

You live how you live though. Like you said there is no smoke and mirrors with you.
no problem with a woman wanting stability. With me though she'd have to be the FLYEST girl I've met at this point in my life...or havethat much potential for me to see us together. I said I think I may have met my future wife...but with the state of mind i'm in, it's not fair for meto be with her right now. If she finds someone else, good for her and it's only right. The point is that I'm not settling down just to settle. I'min the entertainment business and I meet those types of chicks you descrbied ALL the time. They're some of the most conninving, intelligent and goaloriented chicks....I respect the hustle, but I'm not getting caught up in that. I got this one girl I dated. BAD.....but she told me some stupidness like"I dont know why i keep attracting guys who sell weed and do music"...that in itself was a huge turn off....i aint talk to heri n 9 months andshe's back on my jock trying to go out...only she wont pay for the meal.

Plus that fact that i'm only 23...a lotta my "peers" are older and look up to us so naturally people are going to want to align themselves wherethey think the future is. it's a funny dynamic.

I'm not banking on the fact that i'm moving up. I'm banking on the fact that i'm hardworking, sincere and honest who treats people how id liketo be treated. I believe in being a man/woman first about whatever you do and if that involves honesty, so be it. The business that i'm in doesnt make mewho I am.

 

[mrmoneyindabank]

DCAllAmerican wrote:

---

And also, like I mentioned to CoCoLicious in the past, MANY women think all they have to bring to the table is SEX. They think they don't have to cook, clean, or any other things that we TRADITIONALLY think women should do. And some of them don't even WANT to learn. "I ain't cookin for no &@&*! he can get his mother to cook."

These are things that I have HEARD women with $$$$ say.

But when they encounter dudes that DEMAND more from them, it causes them to have to step their game up. They don't feel like doing that. So that is why they mess with these worthless dudes that only want a constant vagina flow. They know they don't have to work hard, so they get CONTENT with the nothing dudes. Then they realize, "This dude is worthless. I am wasting my time." But then they remember, "I don't feel like going to the gym. I don't feel like learning how to cook. I don't feel like "submitting" to my man."

Submission. Black women think submitting to their man is SUCH a negative thing. They think it means be his slave. I hate how submitting to your man has such a negative connotation to it. Black women for the most part have too big of an ego when it comes to this. Men don't want anyone to fight with them to gain respect/power with. Black women like to fight for power in the relationship. A man with HIS STUFF together doesn't have time for it

But all of this dates back to slavery.

---

haiti5 wrote:

---

but to be fair..i think many black women are adopting the black male mentality..why not just be single and enjoy they money..somethin i dont see as a problem
Yea but that isn't the NATURAL mindset of a woman. The ones that are WORTH anything usually end up wanting a family and a man to call their own. So that won't last THAT long. That being the man lifestyle.




This is the mindset of a man that turns to women of other races. Submission is a not what a women is supposed to do, and for the most part black womendon't do it. This is what men want and this is why black men turn to women of other races who are more willing to serve their man. Compliment, Support,these are the traits of an ideal mate. Submission is what your pet is supposed to do, not your partner.


To play devils advocate, there are a small group of black women who feel that their success makes them better than others and therefore they develop a high setof standards that they look for in their mate. That plus the fractured family setting most of today's blacks(including myself) were raised in cause them todevelop a set of complexes that will never allow them to be satisfied with a man.

 

[vdub1423.insidehoops]

because they are smarter than men and wont marry a broke %%!#% just to take care of him... women are selfish lol

 

[deuce king]

Why Are So Many Successful Black Women Unmarried?


.........because alot of these successful black women don't know how to be "women" in the first place.

Too strong.
Too independent.
Can do w/o a man attitude.
No time for sex.
No time for nothing but their career.

Because they are not the choosers, and they need to stop acting like they are.


^ Both statements are 100% Truth.

Submission is a not what a women is supposed to do
???

 

[dunks87]

well this has all proven to be quite insightful. i guess i can check marriage off my list of things to do in life before reaching 30.

now i can focus on more important things...whatever that might be...

 

[seniosoul]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by jasoner27

they didnt stay in the kitchen....

this

 

[the black james bond]

Another Temple EE Major in Here???

I know reggie and whatever but who's The Black James Bond.

Anyway I'm the Program's Chair for NSBE. What org are you the president of? And are you interested in collaborating with NSBE in the spring??

but back to the subject matter. At Temple most of the women there aren't as mature as the might appear. Most of them are still in that "I will only talk to you if you have status"(Letters, Athlete, etc.) and from that will pass up many good men. But once they grow out of it they tend to look for more narrow brothas, but this might be from the experience of getting played so many times by other dudes.

On looks thats relative. My theory is that Most of the communications majors(which are most of the good looking females) are just in school to find I man IMO.

This issue play's out in the engineering building all the time. Engineering women complain about being single but they will never talk to a engineer because for the most part we don't have status. But once engineering man steps outside of that building and you realize those options engineering women get mad at you for dealing with the good looking communications major.

I'm President of Organization of African Students. I was an EE major up until my sophomore year. I know Su, Jerome, Safiyah, practically all of NSBE

But I definitely agree with you as far as the maturity issue goes. I was with this girl for a while and I was like "alright, she's wifeymaterial" but it went sour because she couldn't be mature enough and was on some "I deserve better, I think I'm settling with you"

. And that highlights one of the points made in this thread, girls want a guy who is already successful, but can't stick it out with someone theyKNOW has immense potential to succeed. I mean, I'm on the dean's list, President of a large student organization, working on my clothing line, my IQ isthrough the roof, I have a job, what else do these chicks want?

And traits like that is why a lot of these girls will end up like the ones in thevideo. They aren't perceptive enough to know how to separate what's reality from what's essentially a fantasy. What's to say that"perfect" guy they have imagined is who is actually perfect for them in reality?

My theory is that Most of the communications majors(which are most of the good looking females) are just in school to find I man IMO.

This issue play's out in the engineering building all the time. Engineering women complain about being single but they will never talk to a engineer because for the most part we don't have status. But once engineering man steps outside of that building and you realize those options engineering women get mad at you for dealing with the good looking communications major.


Don't even get me started on this whole issue Will. Girls want to have their cake and eat it too. They'll complain when you look elsewhere, in my caseto non-African girls, but when you step to them, they wanna act snotty and what not, but keep you just close enough til when they are desperate and looking fora husband because they know what you will become in the future. And by that time, I think it was RavageBX who said it, we don't wanna deal withthem.

 

[jimmy digital]

personally, i feel its because black women have standards that, realistically, a lot of men just cannot reach. black women already cut me off completely so iguess i dont really have to worry about that.

 

[NotoriousLEEdope]

Originally Posted by DatZNasty

Well black dudes put out more songs !#+*@+## on black women than vice versa. It's basically the foundation of an entire genre really. These topics always crack me up since black women as a whole are more successful than black men but men got this aura like their %$#% don't stink where they're always talking them down like they're too good; %%!#!* live in 9 x 9 square foot apartments and work at Macy's talking bout how they can't mess with any black woman unless she's this, that, and the other and passes all these benchmarks like they're a real catch

But this one hasn't been as bad as past ones.

That's been my point forever!!! I never could understand this; dudes like to act like they are easy on the eyes talking about they need aHalle Berry type chick. Even dudes on NT are like this. I swear ya'll will dissect a picture of a chick and pick out the smallest flaw on a woman and actlike this makes her the most unattractive woman alive. I saw this for my own eyes in the Bria Myles thread. You dudes want a dime for a wife that can cook,clean, and the whole nine when you aren't even bringing half of that to the table.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

I got this one girl I dated. BAD.....but she told me some stupidness like "I dont know why i keep attracting guys who sell weed and do music"...that in itself was a huge turn off....i aint talk to heri n 9 months and she's back on my jock trying to go out...only she wont pay for the meal.

Buit Mag, shouldn't you pay for the meal if you are a gentleman? What is wrong with paying for her meal?

---

This is the mindset of a man that turns to women of other races. Submission is a not what a women is supposed to do, and for the most part black women don't do it. This is what men want and this is why black men turn to women of other races who are more willing to serve their man. Compliment, Support, these are the traits of an ideal mate. Submission is what your pet is supposed to do, not your partner.
Submission, support, compliment. Same thing. Different words. The WORD submission turns black women off (for the most part). They think it meansslavery. THAT is why many dudes don't feel like dealing with them because they TEST their manhood way too often. No man wants his manhood tested, andespecially not by some female.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by thytkerjobs

"backups" to me show signs of insecurity. i dont see why its so hard to just give your all to 1 person, and if things dont work its not the end of the world to be alone until someone else comes along. the need for a constant "somebody" in your life just show that you're incapable of being alone at any point in time.

Out of all of the words you could have chosen, why did you pick insecurity?
I could see dishonest, or conniving, or even wrong. But how does that make him insecure if he has a backup?

That word gets thrown around too loosely and half of the time it isn't applicable.

 

[blackmagnus514]

she wanted to hang out with me and keeps stressing it. no one likes a cow if the milk is free.

 

[rko2004]

Some of you over complicate things.

Its a relationship. Not rocket science. K.I.S.S.

 

[datznasty]

Originally Posted by dapimpjuice4ya

Originally Posted by DatZNasty

Well black dudes put out more songs !#+*@+## on black women than vice versa. It's basically the foundation of an entire genre really. These topics always crack me up since black women as a whole are more successful than black men but men got this aura like their %$#% don't stink where they're always talking them down like they're too good; %%!#!* live in 9 x 9 square foot apartments and work at Macy's talking bout how they can't mess with any black woman unless she's this, that, and the other and passes all these benchmarks like they're a real catch

But this one hasn't been as bad as past ones.

That's been my point forever!!! I never could understand this; dudes like to act like they are easy on the eyes talking about they need a Halle Berry type chick. Even dudes on NT are like this. I swear ya'll will dissect a picture of a chick and pick out the smallest flaw on a woman and act like this makes her the most unattractive woman alive. I saw this for my own eyes in the Bria Myles thread. You dudes want a dime for a wife that can cook, clean, and the whole nine when you aren't even bringing half of that to the table.

Yea, talk about a double standard. The difference between this topic and women gathered around a talking about how dudes aren't @+*! is? Butgood luck everyone finding your wives who are smart, do everything you say, have their own career, yet still have a hot meal on the table when you get home,likes sports, takes care of the kids, performs lewd sexual favors for you, keeps her appearance up, has DDs and a fatty, and cleans the house while you playXbox and surf NT, in between shifts at 7-11 of course.