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- May 11, 2004
Will this be able to end well..
This girl who I've been dating for 4 months has been telling me that she wants to have a serious relationship and has told me she's loved me for ab a month now. I'm 22 and she's 20 btw. About 6 months before she met me she had just gotten out of a 4 year relationship. So from soph year HS to soph year of college. The dude was her first for everything and she was crazy about him to the point that he would cheat on her nonstop and she'd stay with him no matter what. Dude would even cheat in parties she was at, once had a girl visit a social at his house and told his girl hes been having sex with her, and cheated on the day she had an abortion. And he eventually dumped her after 4 years for someone else instead of her saying it was enough. I know im disgusted by it too that she stayed with him but she was his first everything from a young age and they lived down the block from each other and dude had bread so it was hard for her to let go. She then continued having relations with him after their break up for a while but that ended before she and i met. Dude moved but now sees her at the gym she works at, still tries sweet talking her ab their past, and still on rare occasions tries hitting her up and told her he just wants to be friends which is obviously %#$!+%*+.
Girl then says to me ab a week ago shes changing her num so people from her past dont hit her up. I assumed he'd be a person she doesnt give her new num too but i saw she texted it to him and flipped yesterday that she had the chance to move on from that abusive dude but still kept him in her life esp when she has me, says she loves me, and wants a relationship. She then tells me she's not completely over him and said that she cant completely let go of someone that meant that much to her, and she misses the love and affection she would get. And even somewhat defended his actions by saying he was immature and not ready for a monogamous relationship and still isnt which is why he cheats on the girl hes with now. Theres a different between that and being completely grimey and doing it right in front of her. She did say though that she'll never allow herself to be with him again.
I then realized I've been giving her so little of that and she still loves me and has been with only me since we've been dating (her best friend lives with and in a relationship with my best friend and she tells him everything.) And I havent been doing it cuz i dont want her loving me any more than she does and eventually breaking her heart.
I've never been in a serious relationship before but this chicks beautiful, smart, on point with what shes doing in life and school, and seems to be willing to give me everything I want and need from a girl. The only thing I'm worried ab is that dude seems to have some kind of mind !#@! over her that might never end. And everything I do for her is just her trying to relive the memories of him. And also that she'll always have a place for that dude even though he was beyond grimey. And obviously worst of all that she'll go back to him.
I think by showing her the love and affection she wants/misses she might eventually be able to move on from that and realize she has someone and something better than shes ever had. But on the other hand its like she'll always wish it was him she can be with.
NTers with wisdom/experience in the game, is this chick bad news cuz of her past or should i just say !#@! it and give it a chance and by giving her what she needs in that regard she'll eventually be able to get over it and realize he should have no place in her life.
This girl who I've been dating for 4 months has been telling me that she wants to have a serious relationship and has told me she's loved me for ab a month now. I'm 22 and she's 20 btw. About 6 months before she met me she had just gotten out of a 4 year relationship. So from soph year HS to soph year of college. The dude was her first for everything and she was crazy about him to the point that he would cheat on her nonstop and she'd stay with him no matter what. Dude would even cheat in parties she was at, once had a girl visit a social at his house and told his girl hes been having sex with her, and cheated on the day she had an abortion. And he eventually dumped her after 4 years for someone else instead of her saying it was enough. I know im disgusted by it too that she stayed with him but she was his first everything from a young age and they lived down the block from each other and dude had bread so it was hard for her to let go. She then continued having relations with him after their break up for a while but that ended before she and i met. Dude moved but now sees her at the gym she works at, still tries sweet talking her ab their past, and still on rare occasions tries hitting her up and told her he just wants to be friends which is obviously %#$!+%*+.
Girl then says to me ab a week ago shes changing her num so people from her past dont hit her up. I assumed he'd be a person she doesnt give her new num too but i saw she texted it to him and flipped yesterday that she had the chance to move on from that abusive dude but still kept him in her life esp when she has me, says she loves me, and wants a relationship. She then tells me she's not completely over him and said that she cant completely let go of someone that meant that much to her, and she misses the love and affection she would get. And even somewhat defended his actions by saying he was immature and not ready for a monogamous relationship and still isnt which is why he cheats on the girl hes with now. Theres a different between that and being completely grimey and doing it right in front of her. She did say though that she'll never allow herself to be with him again.
I then realized I've been giving her so little of that and she still loves me and has been with only me since we've been dating (her best friend lives with and in a relationship with my best friend and she tells him everything.) And I havent been doing it cuz i dont want her loving me any more than she does and eventually breaking her heart.
I've never been in a serious relationship before but this chicks beautiful, smart, on point with what shes doing in life and school, and seems to be willing to give me everything I want and need from a girl. The only thing I'm worried ab is that dude seems to have some kind of mind !#@! over her that might never end. And everything I do for her is just her trying to relive the memories of him. And also that she'll always have a place for that dude even though he was beyond grimey. And obviously worst of all that she'll go back to him.
I think by showing her the love and affection she wants/misses she might eventually be able to move on from that and realize she has someone and something better than shes ever had. But on the other hand its like she'll always wish it was him she can be with.
NTers with wisdom/experience in the game, is this chick bad news cuz of her past or should i just say !#@! it and give it a chance and by giving her what she needs in that regard she'll eventually be able to get over it and realize he should have no place in her life.
