Wiping the butt vol. do you stand or sit?

WOW.

People really reporting me over a cartoon gif yet post a picture of a real piece of poo with no repercussions.

Lame. I think I know who prolly reported too.

I got reported for a photo containing dookie that i left in a spoiler.

Got my first warning in the 8 years i've been on NT.

Oh whale. I thanked meth for the warning and i'll be more careful :rolleyes :smokin :lol
 
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and thats the same hand imma slap you with if you keep being disrespectful whoadie
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The most important thing I've learned in this thread is that most of you need to sort your diet out - it's not about position or wet/dry or how you hold the TP - if you're filling the bowl with paper "it" is coming out wrong.

That, and some of you are savages and some of you are weirdly ashamed of a natural function.
 
ya should learn how to whipe with your off hand.
i remember injuring my right hand and basically having my girl clean me up bc i couldnt do it with the left
 
ya should learn how to whipe with your off hand.
i remember injuring my right hand and basically having my girl clean me up bc i couldnt do it with the left

I'm sorry man, I legit don't wanna laugh because you never know, but injuring my wiping hand won't have me asking my wife to wipe my *** :rollin

It gotta take a lot more than that for me to put my pride aside and let her handle the mess I create EVERYTIME I go to the toilet...I poop 2-3 a day and it be cray
 
But if im at home i always hop in the shower and get a good clean.

So you bathe with the ****** wash cloth?

I've always wondered this too. ___s stay talking about "if I'm home I just hop in the shower" and my mind can't put this series of events together.

Y'all hoping straight off of the toilet into the tub and letting the leftovers M.Bison slide down your drains? :x

Straight like that? No preliminary wipes or anything? How often do you ___s clean your tubs if you're moving like that?
 
Not only that, but bare handing the remains off your crack with water just nauseates me Bruh... :x
 
that's why before you poop you lay some toilet paper in the bowl. the paper will float on top and when your poop lands, it prevents splashback
Aye the secret (learned it on nt from a similar thread) place some tp in the bowl before u go, it acts like a reverse suppressor for your poop. Changed my life completely with this simple fix. No more booty drips, no more shamu splash zones. Free to unload fast n furious bruh. 100% tested and approved for the masses.
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Oh yeah. I always forget to do that before I drop one 
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I'm dropping a load one day at the office and dude from India comes in and goes to the stall next to me. I'm not really paying him much mind as I was deep into a game of spades on my phone. I happen to look down tho and I notice he slid his New Balances off. First thought was aight maybe fam just changing his clothes, but next thing u kno his feet/legs disappear. Now I'm really confused, in my mind I'm like I kno fam ain't playing peek a boo hovering over the stall checking me out :{ .. I look up and don't see him peeking but I hear bowel movements splashing into the toilet so I'm really confused. After I get my wipe on, I'm washing my hands still in confusion because I still don't see his feet/legs in the mirror reflection, then all of a sudden a black sock appears, then another. Now I'm tripping, dried my hands, hit the Purell one good time, and got outta there.

It was on my mind all day so I'm like **** it imma ask ol boy what that was about. Come to find out, fam takes his dumps in the "natural squatting" position, meaning feet all on the toilet seat like the pic above :eek, he said this was a common thing in India :rollin :rollin (I need confirmation from one of our Indian NTers). Mind blowing bathroom experience bros :lol


LMFAOWHAT

:rollin :rollin :rollin take my imaginary rep b, i literally ran out by the time i read this post


how you not hit ya ankles?! nah no way lol
 
I ran out of toilet paper and had to take a huge dump this morning. As a result, I had to wipe my *** with paper towels. **** was torture. I'm on my way to walmart now to get a 12 pack of to so this won't happen to me again.
 
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