Would YOU Have An Issue If YOUR Wife Doesn't Want To Take On YOUR Last Name? Why or Why Not?

Some else said

Trevytrev11;2040011551 wrote:
I prefer we share a name (preferably mine because I'm fond of it;)) just to simplify things. Besides, the way I see it is that your a family and families should share a name as a bond. Again, it could be the wife's name or the husbands name or a new name, but I think the husband the wife and the kids should all share a name...just makes sense to me.

How many people realize Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen are brothers
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While it's an initial pain for a person to change their name (social security, drivers license, credit cards, etc.) in the long run it will save the every day annoyance of explaing to people that even though my wife has a different last name than my son, she is not a single/divorced or widowed mother.

Hi I'd like you to meet Junior Smith's parents Mr. Smith and Mrs. Smi-
No, it's is Mrs. Johnson.

I can see it if the name has some sort of fame or business attached to it as then it has value and then maybe you don't change it, but otherwise, IMO it presents a sort of lack of unity amongst the family. A name is something that you will always share and take pride in. With my wife taking a seperate name or having a different name than our child, I think it would be kind of odd to not share that.

Plus how do you address just a family if your sending mail or an invitation?

The Smith's
The Smith's and Johson's?
Mr. Smith, Mrs. Johnson and Family?

I prefer the Smith's
 
Anywho, I'm not against double hyphenating, but it's so...unusual. Only in America do women have enough nerve to say !%+! tradition and then expect men to agree with it. It's absurd most of the time. Every other culture has a set practice for marriage, whether it be arranged marriage, necessary dowries, or whatever. Some widows even have to follow their husband into the afterlife to "prove" they are really with him to the end. And they do it with pride! No one questions that, but over here if we have a tradition, ya'll chalk it up to male ego? That's ridiculous. Every man in my family has had a wife take his name. Is that so wrong? Why can't I be like them? Girls always wanna fix *@%+ that ain't broke
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. Furthermore, in this society the family unit is led by the male historically. You don't see Kobe running around in a custom jersey, do you? No, he wears what his team wears. He may be the star, but he's just another Laker. Why must women try so hard to prove their individuality? Ya'll got a chip on your shoulders or something? My wife will take my name, as will my kids. Two lions make a cub; not a lion and a zebra. It's principle.
<<APPLAUDS>>

Good post man.
 
Originally Posted by DearWinter219

Marriage has BEEN a religious bond...in every religion... um...duh?


It's killing me to read all these women saying MY this and MY that......MY identity... MY life, etc. Then why join into a "we" type thing if it's all about you? You can't give that man anything, can you? Selfish...
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. And didn't Shakespeare say "A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet"? You'll still be who you were, so why not give that man the GIFT he's earned? Why so serious? Ya'll always pick fights over the little picture which only shows that ya'll never see the bigger one.
My marriage is not and never will be a religious bond. I didn't get married in a religious ceremony, I didn't want any of that crap in mywedding.
 
Originally Posted by Nawth21

Originally Posted by DearWinter219

Marriage has BEEN a religious bond...in every religion... um...duh?


It's killing me to read all these women saying MY this and MY that......MY identity... MY life, etc. Then why join into a "we" type thing if it's all about you? You can't give that man anything, can you? Selfish...
smh.gif
. And didn't Shakespeare say "A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet"? You'll still be who you were, so why not give that man the GIFT he's earned? Why so serious? Ya'll always pick fights over the little picture which only shows that ya'll never see the bigger one.

Man Rilla who pissed in your cheerios this morning?
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yea hes fired up
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Originally Posted by eaalto

Originally Posted by DearWinter219

Marriage has BEEN a religious bond...in every religion... um...duh?


It's killing me to read all these women saying MY this and MY that......MY identity... MY life, etc. Then why join into a "we" type thing if it's all about you? You can't give that man anything, can you? Selfish...
smh.gif
. And didn't Shakespeare say "A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet"? You'll still be who you were, so why not give that man the GIFT he's earned? Why so serious? Ya'll always pick fights over the little picture which only shows that ya'll never see the bigger one.
My marriage is not and never will be a religious bond. I didn't get married in a religious ceremony, I didn't want any of that crap in my wedding.


this made me
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Originally Posted by DearWinter219

lol @ put your pride to the side. Can't we both put our pride to the side? Why is it the obligation of the female? And if a marriage is a partnership why then do I "belong" to my husband. Unless of course he belongs to me as well in which case we should all just hyphenate our names (Which I am not opposed to btw)

That's my last word on the topic because this argument goes nowhere every time. Good luck all. To each his own


Don't even try it! Come on, finish this. I like your posts and I'd love to weigh your input. You might actually learn me a thing or two..

Anywho, I'm not against double hyphenating, but it's so...unusual. Only in America do women have enough nerve to say !%+! tradition and then expect men to agree with it. It's absurd most of the time. Every other culture has a set practice for marriage, whether it be arranged marriage, necessary dowries, or whatever. Some widows even have to follow their husband into the afterlife to "prove" they are really with him to the end. And they do it with pride! No one questions that, but over here if we have a tradition, ya'll chalk it up to male ego? That's ridiculous. Every man in my family has had a wife take his name. Is that so wrong? Why can't I be like them? Girls always wanna fix *@%+ that ain't broke
laugh.gif
. Furthermore, in this society the family unit is led by the male historically. You don't see Kobe running around in a custom jersey, do you? No, he wears what his team wears. He may be the star, but he's just another Laker. Why must women try so hard to prove their individuality? Ya'll got a chip on your shoulders or something? My wife will take my name, as will my kids. Two lions make a cub; not a lion and a zebra. It's principle.



AMEN....all of a sudden women wanna take a stand, and now we got girls by the age of 14 thiking its coo to hop in the sheets. thats one thing that i loveabout muslim culture, they got their women straight and they follow by it for centuries, you might have your few sleezers but thats what stoning is for.
wink.gif
im latino by the way.
 
If our names are hyphenated then I'm getting a pre-nup asap. The girl going to leave you. How many people you know been married 30+ years with hyphenatednames? Don't worry I'll wait.
 
They SHOULD. The man SHOULD BE the leader of the household and taking on his name shows that a woman is down with the program.

And a family should have one name in my opinion.

Now if the woman already has some sort of local/national fame with her current last name, then I can understand why she would be opposed to it.

But some women go against it for the sake of not being cooperative.
 
Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by SiMPLYDiMPLY

5. I probably am never getting married anyhow. I am down to be with someone for a long stretch of time.. hell, even forever, but i don't need the title of "wife". A pretty ring and giant expensive wedding has no correlation to how much love is in the relationship. Not to mention a waste of money... when you can use that money towards building a home and life together. I would probably only get married for the tax breaks.
So if you DO get married, you don't need a ring?
smokin.gif

a plain band to symbolize the marriage. nothing fancy. maybe something that means something to the both of us inscribed on the inside.

Spoiler [+]
i'm lying i'm going to get his surname tatted across my forehead.
 
Originally Posted by DearWinter219

Marriage has BEEN a religious bond...in every religion... um...duh?


It's killing me to read all these women saying MY this and MY that......MY identity... MY life, etc. Then why join into a "we" type thing if it's all about you? You can't give that man anything, can you? Selfish...
smh.gif
. And didn't Shakespeare say "A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet"? You'll still be who you were, so why not give that man the GIFT he's earned? Why so serious? Ya'll always pick fights over the little picture which only shows that ya'll never see the bigger one.
one one think that the "Gift" is spending the rest of their life with you....not taking on a name
you know.. big picture...not "little picture"
 
I could honestly care less if my wife took my last name of not. But MY KIDS, will definitely have my last name. No arguments there.
 
meh....if the wife and kids name is hyphenated but the husband's is not, it would just be weird.


Upon reflecting back on our wedding vows. Taking on my last name just makes sense. I believe men do a great deal of sacrificing(not in the going out andpartying, freedom...etc..sort of way) as do the women. We are expected to do what is right for the marriage, do whatever it takes to get it done, sacrifice ourown selfish wants and sometimes needs for the greater good of our better half and or family. I'd like to think that my wife is proud to take on my lastname boasting it the same way as she shows off her engagement ring when I first proposed.
 
Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by SoleWoman

i am seriously considering hyphenating my name. Once i explain the reason why to my husband...if he cant be understanding then he cant be husband.
What is your reasoning if you don't mind me asking?
honestly...i do mind. that would be a discussion between him and i

it's personal...
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as far as the kids go...they can have their dad's name.
 
Originally Posted by SiMPLYDiMPLY

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by SiMPLYDiMPLY

5. I probably am never getting married anyhow. I am down to be with someone for a long stretch of time.. hell, even forever, but i don't need the title of "wife". A pretty ring and giant expensive wedding has no correlation to how much love is in the relationship. Not to mention a waste of money... when you can use that money towards building a home and life together. I would probably only get married for the tax breaks.
So if you DO get married, you don't need a ring?
smokin.gif

a plain band to symbolize the marriage. nothing fancy. maybe something that means something to the both of us inscribed on the inside.

Spoiler [+]
i'm lying i'm going to get his surname tatted across my forehead.
My man
pimp.gif
 
Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

this again?... lol
I am always interested in hearing your opinion man
I've said it before...but I'll repeat it...
I have no problems with whatever she wants to do.. sure, I would like her to take my last name...but it's not a deal-breaker. My girl has nobrothers...all sisters...so if she wants to hold onto that... so I can understand and respect that.

...in a mature relationship you have to take in the individual feelings and concerns about whatever involves the both of you..... you can't paint thingswith a broad brush of black and white with no grey in between.
 
Originally Posted by chokeonsmoke

AMEN....all of a sudden women wanna take a stand, and now we got girls by the age of 14 thiking its coo to hop in the sheets. thats one thing that i love about muslim culture, they got their women straight and they follow by it for centuries, you might have your few sleezers but thats what stoning is for.
wink.gif
im latino by the way.
The hell?

It is infact more cultural than religious, those kind of traditions you speak of existed even long before Islam came along. In the Middle East, Christiansabide usually to similar customs to Muslims when it comes to patriarchal standings in society.

Also in the Middle East, the woman does not even take the man's last name, she stands by her own bloodline family's last name.
 
Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

They SHOULD. The man SHOULD BE the leader of the household and taking on his name shows that a woman is down with the program.

And a family should have one name in my opinion.

Now if the woman already has some sort of local/national fame with her current last name, then I can understand why she would be opposed to it.

But some women go against it for the sake of not being cooperative.


they dont wanna follow the rules
 
Wow, I had no idea NT was so passionate about this.
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As far as my opinion, I kinda agree with Ol' Dirty Licious.
 
Originally Posted by Air Kalo

Wow, I had no idea NT was so passionate about this.
laugh.gif


As far as my opinion, I kinda agree with Ol' Dirty Licious.

laugh.gif
Some of em are putting the cart before the horse. First you need tofind a woman to marry you in the first place before you go worrying about whether she'll change her name or not
tongue.gif
 
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