Would YOU Have An Issue If YOUR Wife Doesn't Want To Take On YOUR Last Name? Why or Why Not?

[dearwinter219]

Yes. And I have some very solid reasons. For starters, the woman I intend to wife up down the line has always had an identity issue because she's anorphan. She doesn't know who she is because she has no clue what she came from, and it's sad. This is my chance to give her an identity. I'vealready promised her I would if she earned it. More importantly, this is her chance to CHOOSE this identity. She can be clueless about her punk **! pops'last name she was given, or she can join my ranks and be a part of a storied tradition of proud Joneses. Furthermore, our problems always arise becauseshe's bullheaded and wants to do things her way all the time instead of our way. I myself, I rarely think in a ME ME ME sort of way.It's always about what's better for the tandem. It's like we move as two individuals and rarely as a unit. SO...to alleviate that, if she tookmy name, it would be a symbolic gesture of submissiveness on her part. I need that from her. A chick's gotta know when to be independent and whento be humble. Because %#%@ what you say, I gotta wear the pants. It's just my nature. I have to captain my own vessel. She'll steer us in herdirection because that's all she's ever known. She's been a survivalist for years. I have the interests of both of us at heart because my lifehasn't been nearly as hard and lonely on the familia front. Our sharing names would also symbolize UNITY. It's more than a trivial matter. Like I said,it's all symbolic and it has a lot to do with what type of bond you generate. Hyphenating is coooool, but it says "Yeah we're close rightnow, but I do not belong to this man entirely". I need a chick that will put on my ring and give herself to me in full, because Lord knows if I pick justONE chick to be with for the REST of my natural life, she better be 100000% dedicated to making it last and making it fun while it lasts.

 

[sir rob a lot]

^^^^ Son, edit that and seperate that wall into paragraphs

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by starzinoureyes

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by starzinoureyes

so my last name is staying. idk why this would bother guys... who cares, as long as your kid keeps the last name.

You should KNOW why and UNDERSTAND WHY. But you don't have to agree with the reasoning. You should know why though

enlighten me, please.

To be honest, we want the world to know that you are OUR wives.

Ownership/Identity purposes to be blunt about it. Other dudes will say otherwise but that is what it has always boiled down to.

 

[doublejs07]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by starzinoureyes

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by starzinoureyes

so my last name is staying. idk why this would bother guys... who cares, as long as your kid keeps the last name.

You should KNOW why and UNDERSTAND WHY. But you don't have to agree with the reasoning. You should know why though

enlighten me, please.

To be honest, we want the world to know that you are OUR wives.

Ownership/Identity purposes to be blunt about it. Other dudes will say otherwise but that is what it has always boiled down to.

Unless your wife is walking around 24-7 w. a t-shirt saying "Mrs. ______," no one is going to think twice about her being your spouse.

Everyone will know she is your wife and "yours" when you are out and about while wearing a wedding band. Like I said before...it's ultimatelyHER decision, and if you're not going to marry someone or be upset at them for not taking your name, then you got some other issues you need to work out. The most important thing (if you are still hung up on the last name) is your child WILL have your last name...

 

[starzinoureyes]

ownership, eh?

so would it be wrong if the woman suggested you changed your last name to hers? you know, so we can claim you as ours?

 

[pip777]

Originally Posted by Pmighty

i would hope she would be more than willing to take my last name

 

[eaalto]

It isn't a big deal. Seriously. If that's the deal breaker, all of you have a lot of growing up to do.

 

[soltheman]

Originally Posted by dreClark

The kid having my last name is most important IMO.

But of course I would like for her to have my last name.

Won't be a make or break thing as far as the marriage goes. At least that's what I think at this moment. Things might change when it actually happens.

Exactly my thoughts on the matter.

Maybe we'll trade.

 

[i be john mayer]

So what would be the family name???

 

[fanatic15]

My name is going to be hyphenated. The only reason to really take a husbands name other than ego is to have the same name as your kids for example. But itreally makes no difference, thats why the kids will be hyphenated as well!

 

[drjdoc26]

Suppose she doesn't take the mans last name, does she go by "Ms." or "Mrs."?

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by starzinoureyes


ownership, eh?

so would it be wrong if the woman suggested you changed your last name to hers? you know, so we can claim you as ours?

Yea ok.....

 

[dearwinter219]

Originally Posted by Sir Rob A Lot

^^^^ Son, edit that and seperate that wall into paragraphs

Uh...No.

Just read the next reply if you can't dig it.

ownership, eh?

so would it be wrong if the woman suggested you changed your last name to hers? you know, so we can claim you as ours?

Aye hold up...for real...the hell is up with you? You're one of those neo-feminits aren't you?? Who says "So it would be wrong if we did theopposite of TRADITION and the opposite of the way everyone was raised around this hemisphere for the most part?"

Uh...yeah... it would be. At least to the majority of men in this culture. The hell?

. Are you pretending not toget it?

To be honest, we want the world to know that you are OUR wives.

Ownership/Identity purposes to be blunt about it. Other dudes will say otherwise but that is what it has always boiled down to.

Cause you could be ANYBODY's girlfriend, jumpoff, friend with bens, or whatever....................... but only one man's WIFE. Give thatman what he's entitled to.

 

[kix4kix]

Originally Posted by Fanatic15

My name is going to be hyphenated. The only reason to really take a husbands name other than ego is to have the same name as your kids for example. But it really makes no difference, thats why the kids will be hyphenated as well!

 

[sundoobie]

Don't have to bother with the issue, the wife gladly wants my last name.

She's traditional like that.

All these new jack females wanting their own identity not changing their last names are too much. You can still have your own identity with your husband'sname, be proud about it, and still be recognized as who you are. Being traditional is whats important... to us anyways.

as long as your our kid keeps the his last name.
Fixed

 

[super t1ght]

Originally Posted by starzinoureyes


i wouldnt want to change my last name. it's unique & i've never met anyone with it that isn't family.

changing it for a smith or williams or lopez doesn't seem plausible. & i'm not a fan of hyphenated last names, either.

so my last name is staying. idk why this would bother guys... who cares, as long as your kid keeps the last name.

wack reason

 

[fanatic15]

Originally Posted by kix4kix

Originally Posted by Fanatic15

My name is going to be hyphenated. The only reason to really take a husbands name other than ego is to have the same name as your kids for example. But it really makes no difference, thats why the kids will be hyphenated as well!

What difference would it make really. Think about it. In your day to day life how will it affect your life. If it does, you don't need tobe getting married. Why should I have to give up the name I have lived my entire life w/ just because I am the female and he is the male? It makes nological sense. It's one thing if you want to, but no one should be required and it should NEVER be a deal breaker imo.

All these new jack females wanting their own identity not changing their last names are too much. You can still have your own identity with your husband's name, be proud about it, and still be recognized as who you are. Being traditional is whats important... to us anyways.

Not everyone is traditional though, not even all men. And as you said changing your name changes your identity just as mush as your wife changing hers changesyour identity. It doesn't.

 

[super t1ght]

it is disrespectful and a slap in the face if she does not take my last name. i would not be happy. at the end of the day I'd still marry her tho

 

[dearwinter219]

Originally Posted by Fanatic15

My name is going to be hyphenated. The only reason to really take a husbands name other than ego is to have the same name as your kids for example. But it really makes no difference, thats why the kids will be hyphenated as well!

Man... this is almost starting to piss me off...

Look, it's not even an ego thing. It's about roles. When a man takes his bride, she's suppossed to belongto him in a sense. Some of you ladies have to much pride, if anything. If we're suppossed to be providers, protectors, patriarchs, and all those other Pwords (P.Popper number 1, for example

) the least you could do is give a man the security of knowing that youridentity is one that acknowledges his role in your life. Give him what he EARNED, geez... When you look in the mirror, you should be looking at yourself as anindividual but also as part of an inseparable tandem. With men, if you ain't family, you ain't #%%*. We'rewolves out here in the wild and our names carry our legacies into the future. Don't be so selfish.

 

[kix4kix]

Originally Posted by Fanatic15

Originally Posted by kix4kix

Originally Posted by Fanatic15

My name is going to be hyphenated. The only reason to really take a husbands name other than ego is to have the same name as your kids for example. But it really makes no difference, thats why the kids will be hyphenated as well!

What difference would it make really. Think about it. In your day to day life how will it affect your life. If it does, you don't need to be getting married. Why should I have to give up the name I have lived my entire life w/ just because I am the female and he is the male? It makes no logical sense. It's one thing if you want to, but no one should be required and it should NEVER be a deal breaker imo.

Marriage is a religious bond, you the mans wife, put your pride to the side and start a new life with your new bond. These pseudo feminists kill me.

 

[lonelyboysole]

Originally Posted by pip777

Originally Posted by Pmighty

i would hope she would be more than willing to take my last name

 

[fanatic15]

lol @ put your pride to the side. Can't we both put our pride to the side? Why is it the obligation of the female? And if a marriage is a partnership whythen do I "belong" to my husband. Unless of course he belongs to me as well in which case we should all just hyphenate our names (Which I am notopposed to btw)

That's my last word on the topic because this argument goes nowhere every time. Good luck all. To each his own

 

[deletedelete]

I wouldn't.

1. I am Jessica Siniscalchi, forever and always.

2. My lastname is unique and makes up for my mundane first name

3. My surname is as much apart of who i am as my given name is. And how do i look changing my first name in the middle of my life?

4. Its too much trouble to change your last name and all documents. and then what if you get divorced? Way too much trouble. My mom still has problems becauseof conflicting last names and stuff since getting divorced.

5. I probably am never getting married anyhow. I am down to be with someone for a long stretch of time.. hell, even forever, but i don't need the title of"wife". A pretty ring and giant expensive wedding has no correlation to how much love is in the relationship. Not to mention a waste of money... whenyou can use that money towards building a home and life together. I would probably only get married for the tax breaks.

6. If we have children though, they can have his last name, lest it be something unfortunate like Gaylord or something ( i do know someone with thatlast name

) just looking out for my children.

But like i was saying, they can have their fathers surname. No hyphens, nothing. I understand wanting to carry on your families "legacy" and whathave you. I have a brother, he can take care of that on my side.

 

[kix4kix]

I hope you hyphenate the paycheck, and the heavy lifting, and the bills.

 

[deletedelete]

Originally Posted by Super T1ght

majority of these NT chicks are A) lesbians or B) never gonna get wifed

you make a compelling argument.